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Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.