₦airaland Forum

Guyz please I need advice! Been married for about 8 years now. I can not categorically call my wife bad because she has got some very good attributes every man desires. However, these good attributes only shows when there are no issues at home. When she is angry (which comes up more often these days) she is something else.

She can go for weeks without talking to me and I am sure, if I can stand it, she can go a year without talking to me. Whenever she falls into this mood, it gets me very uncomfortable. Whether I am wrong or right, I always apologize and try to get her to talking terms. In the mornings, I say "Good mornings" to her but she wont respond. When I go out or she goes out , she wont say a simple welcome, even when I say "Welcome" just to be break the silence, she wont respond. This has been going on from our early marriage , I thought it would stop but it is looking I'm going to live like this for the rest of life unless something happens.

Naturally, I don't report her to anyone because I still see her as a good woman. I only report her to her elder sisters, who has tried to resolves issues within us. She gets shock when I inform her that we haven't spoken for days and sometime weeks. I decided not to report her anymore since it hasn't helped but I am unable to take the silent treatment. it breaks me! I practically beg her to talk to me when she starts the silent treatment. I also observed she hardly ever apologize. Instead she will weep. I believe she is emotionally manipulating and torturing me. She often says I apologize too much and that apology means nothing to me , that is why it is so easy for me apologize. but as for her, it is save to say she dislikes apology. Sorry doesn't exist in her dictionary. She likes playing the victims when the malice gets so bad. When I can no longer take the silent treatment anymore, I would go begging her and apologizing. she would rather weep and hug me in reconciliation but will still refuse to apologize even when I say ok I am sorry for allowing this issues stay this long

I am not a perfect man, but I can boldly say I am a good man. I care for her and my family, I believe she loves me but I cant understand why she likes to keep malice even refusing to say just "good morning". Most of the times, what we keep malice for are so irrelevant. The last one, I removed her laptop from the reading desk and dropped it on the bed (which isn't the right place) because I wanted to use the desk. I remembered it wasn't the right place and said babe remove that laptop from the bed before someone sits on it. She replied if I wasn't the one who dropped it there. In all this we were playing in the room and I told her, ok, leave it there na. "Na you they use the laptop do project" and that was it. 2 days and counting , she hasn't spoken to me and answered my greetings.

I have 2 wonderful kids with her and I am so confused. It is easy for me because we re still young. I am 37. I fear for old age, If I can take this silent treatment in old age. I need advise guys. From my experience, she didn't have a good upbringing, from a toxic polygamous home which I think is affecting her. Each time I talk about the past it is war in my house. I bear the burnt from her past, that's what i believe. Your advice would go a long way.