₦airaland Forum

So did your friend told you to spread his story?
And you think you're Saint?, what was the advice you gave to him, have you for once tell your friend to stop the act? And am even sure that you must have share out of his money

Finally Wizkid juju don catch Davido

Yusuf Buhari in Ghastly Accident, Sustains Head Injury And Broken Limb

President Muhammadu Buhari's son, Yusuf, was involved in a ghastly power bike accident last night in the Gwanripa area of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja according to a statement issued by Garba Shehu, Senior Special Assistant to the President.

The statement disclosed that Yusuf "broke a limb and had an injury to the head as a result. He has undergone surgery at a <a href="http://lectportal.com">clinic in abuja</a>. He is in a stable condition."

Yusuf was reportedly drag racing with friends last night when the accident happened.

Mugabe Quits!
President Mugabe has quit as Parliamentarians were debating his impeachment. Speaker Jacob Mudenda announced Mugabe”s resignation
More information loading here www.lectportal.com

1. I have been owing AIRTEL for 3months now, they just called my MTN line to ask why I have been dodging their calls. . The thing shock me.

2. An 11 year old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her Mom about the hair. Her Mom calmly said " That part where hair has grown is called a Monkey, be proud that your Monkey has grown hair. "​ ​Next morning at breakfast she told her sister. " my monkey has grown hair. " her sister smiled and said " That's Nothing, mine is already eating Banana.

3. A Guy received a break-up message from her side chic...His wife who was observing him from a distance was curious and sought to know what it was.Woman: honey, what are you reading?Man: i am reading a food recipe which i want you to prepare for me later.Woman: so why are you crying?Man: i'm actually at the point where they are cutting the onion

4. Trouble is when yhu are trying to kill a mosquitoes that land on yhur father bald headUsing yhur bare hand, then yhu miss it.My brother,����Yhu have to produce evidence

5. in Nigeria stew placement is according to AgeDAD=Stew in another plateUNCLE=stew beside the riceCHILDREN =Stew on the ricethen if your stew is mixed together with the rice and it turns to jellof rice�����you have no place in that family am i communicating ���

6. If girls were pilotsGirl.. "Hello control tower, this is flight 365.. We have aproblem."Control tower.. "What is the problem?"Girl.. "Nothing.".Control tower.. " Please tell us the problem! "Girl.. "Naah leave it."Control tower.. " Tell us please! "Girl... "Nothing, i'm fine.. You cannot understand."Control tower.. "For God's sake pilot please tell us theproblem!"Girl.. "Just leave me alone."Control tower.. "Ohh you maniac mad girl, there are 200passengers aboard in plane."Girl.. Yeahh, nobody cares for me You also only care forthose 200 passengers.. I don't wanna talk to you.. Nooo

7. ��Not all couples have s*x on their wedding night,� some spend it arguing about how the jollof and drinks disappeared.���

8. Nigerian uncles be like “Annie you are now a big girl ooh"Please turn around lemme see you.��Oya come and sit down on my laps ����

9. You Ladies that Normally watch�Korean, Philippians or Indian Movie and see a lady in an angry mood slaps her man and the man tries to kiss her to cool her brain down........Because of that..... you went and slap ur Nigerian boyfriend who has not eaten since last night.....Wait Am coming �������Let me go and price wheel chair for you When you block a slap from your mum ��Just get ready to explain to the entire family why you want to kill her ���Dat awkward moment wen ur Dad scolds u on Whatsapp for being careless and threatens not to pay ur fees, and u wanted to write "sori" den auto correct spelling changed it to "story".☹�My brother, Jesus said" *it is finished* "�You follow Davido dey sing 30billion for theaccount, but u dey owe MTN. Chai! Mybrother bow down ur head and say after me.My father my father, anybody frying akara ontop my destiny, die by fire.#lwkmd ���

10. I thought I have seen it all until I saw her eating eba with hand glove..choi!!!Nobody,I repeat nobody should hold me let me just faint.My roommate just came back with his babe today, now they have been here staring at me for the past 6hours���� they think I'll go outside to give them privacy���Ah! i cannot support evil���

Which is the funniest of them all

don't forget to click www.lectportal.net

*FIFA Best Awards�: FIFPro World XI Revealed�*Here is the FIFA FIFPro World XI for 2017:�GK: Gianluigi Buffon
�DEF: Dani Alves, Leonardo Bonucci, Sergio Ramos, Marcelo
�MID: Toni Kroos, Luka Modric, Andres Iniesta
�FWD: Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Neymar

*FIFA Best Awards�: Francis Kone�� Given Fairplay Award�*Togolese striker Francis Kone, who performed an emergency life-saving first aid on a goalkeeper after he collided with him and realised that his breathing pipe was blocked during a Czech domestic game, has been given the FIFA Fairplay Award. Also, Netherlands Women's coach Sarina Wiegman has been named the FIFA Womens' coach of the Year for leading the Dutch team to Euro 2017 title.

*FIFA Best Awards�: Zidane� Named Coach of the Year�*Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane has been named the FIFA Best Coach of the Year after his exploits with the Los Blancos where he led them to back-to-back Champions League titles, an unprecedented feat.Also in contention were Antonio Conte of Chelsea and Massimiliano Allegri of Juventus.

*FIFA Best Awards�: Celtic Fans� Awarded FIFA Fan Award�*Celtic FC fans have been awarded the FIFA Fan award for a stunning 360-degree display around the stadium in honour of the first Celtic team to have conquered Europe 50 years ago.Also in contention were Borussia Dortmund fans for their #bedforawayfans campaign after a terrorist attack before a CL game � Monaco and FC Copenhagen fans for delivering a trophy the team won to a wheelchair-bound fan in the stands.

*FIFA Best Awards�: Buffon�� Named Goalkeeper of the Year�*Legendary Juventus goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon has been named the Best Goalkeeper of the Year at the Best FIFA awards. The Italian shotstopper continues to add to his burgeoning legend even at the age of 39.He was exemplary in Juventus' run to the final of the Champions League, one major trophy he has not won in his career.Also in contention were Keylor Navas of Real Madrid and Manuel Neuer of Bayern Munich.

Hello everyone I just discovered a new website for educational purpose and I find it very useful and doesn't consume data, it's mobile friendly.
The most interesting thing is that the website was created by a nigerian so please let's encourage him with our comment and also visit the website. The website was built for those in secondary schools and those finding it hard during Jamb, waec, Neco GCE and also those they gave school assignments but don't have anyone to help them out please I urge you all to promote the website, who knows you might be helping someone in need of such website for assignment I'd have post the link here but it'll negate NAIRALAND rules so I'd just shorten it while you click on the name of the website.
The name of the website is LECTURE PORTAL

Please admin don't ban this post or hide this post let's promote it, nor be only oyibo own we go dey visit let's visit our own. Thank you

ACT ONE SCENE ONE(In front of his village house, Eduwu receives a visitor called Idahosa)Eduwu: Idahosa, please have your seat and let me offer you Kola nuts. (Idahosa takes his seat while Eduwu calls out to Ozigolo to fetch some kola nutsClick below � link to read full novel very interesting, you wouldn't wanna miss out
http://www.lectportal.net/2017/10/ozigolo-by-peddle-e-okao.html?m=1

ACT ONE SCENE ONE(In front of his village house, Eduwu receives a visitor called Idahosa)Eduwu: Idahosa, please have your seat and let me offer you Kola nuts. (Idahosa takes his seat while Eduwu calls out to Ozigolo to fetch some kola nutsClick below � link to read full novel very interesting, you wouldn't wanna miss out
http://www.lectportal.com/2017/10/ozigolo-by-peddle-e-okao.html?m=1

The brain is housed in and protected by the cranium. It is divided into three (3) parts which are; forebrain, midbrain and hindbrain. Now let's explain them one after another

Forebrain : This is made up of the olfactory lobes and the cerebral hemispheres. Cerebrum is the largest and most dominant part of the brain. It is structurally divided into two cerebral hemisphere by a median fissure.The Midbrain : This consists mainly of the optic lobes which control sight.

The Hindbrain : This consists of the cerebellum or the little brain and the medulla oblongata which connects the cerebellum to the spinal cord.

BRAIN PART FUNCTION
Cerebral hemisphere seat of consciousness, intelligence memory learning and voluntary actions.

Cerebellum : for balance and body posture. Receives impulses and co-ordinates actions of muscles.

Olfactory lobes : Receives sensory impulse for smelling.

Optic lobes : Receives impulses from the eyes.

Medulla oblongata : Controls respiration, heart beat digestive movement and blood supply.

If you enjoy reading, you're free to click this link to read full details with pictures
The Human Brain

Empowering vigilante
That's the spirit of a true citizen
If only our politicians can emulate this young man

Commissioning of Police traffic road stand at Owa-Ekei by old lagos asaka Road junction Boji Boji Agbor Delta State and Empowerment of Vigilante ( ika N/E LGA All done by one citizen called Comr Fortune OnyemeamechiOgoebulemIn support of Sen Dr Ifeanyi Arthur OkowaSmart agenda

Respect Crosser, we gonna deal with it should it happen in Nigeria... God help this people oo

CEO
www.lectportal.net

Story! story!!.. Once upon a time, there lived a king in Kotoye village. He was quite rich and Kind.
He decided to have a party to mark his golden jubilee anniversary on the throne and his eightieth birthday.
It was an open house party for the rich and the poor alike. Friends and well-wishers were all invited : the big and small, tall and short, the leaders and the led. They were all there. It was a full house.
It was a great celebration with plenty of food to eat and drink. The musicians were not left out nor the praise singers. It was a JAMBOREE.
At last, the party was over, very late in the evening. The king retired into his inner room feeling quite happy. He wanted to have a cold drink with his cup and behold the cup was missing! What a tragedy. This was the only item the King had inherited from his late grandfather. It must not get lost.
The King raised an alarm. Everybody rose up to the challenge. The King's Golden Cup must be found. The search started that night. From house to house, Street to Street village to village the search parties went out for the King's Golden Cup.
" is it a crime to have an open door party"? People asked. This is our beloved king, his golden cup must be found. Day after day, month after months,.... Click me to read full story

Good evening all, please am confuse here o.. Between Burial rice and marriage rice which one sweet pass?
�

Too bad
Click here Taxation

This poem ( homeless not hopeless) is a vivid description of two kinds of people who are in the society (rich and poor) . The rich are in minority and the beggars are in majority. The beggars are poor, homeless, and are subjected to various kinds of hardship but the rich lives in good houses and enjoys the goodies in the society.
The relationship between the rich and the beggars is that, the rich needs the beggar's blessing while the beggars needs the alms from the rich for sustenance.

• The poem begins with the poet saying that the beggars who are in majority are homeless , their only domicile is the street. Though the beggars are important in the society, they do not have house to sleep in at night. They sleep under bridges, they use cardboard as bed in stinky places while the night pour cool breeze and endurance on them.
Meanwhile their rich counterparts in the same society sleep in warm beds with their loved ones.

• The poet goes further to describe how the beggars live during the day. It Dawn the beggars who are wanderers pack their belongings and move on with the day
They stand, kneel, bend and beg for arms so that they can continue to live on earth.

• Lastly the poet says that though the beggars are poor and homeless, they are not hopeless. they are optimistic that one day, their harrowing condition will change to a better one.

Credit to HOMELESS NOT HOPELESS

Can we actually relate this poem to our modern day society especially Nigeria?
If yes let's discuss

Andylegacy:
pls help I had d7 in marketing in d just released Waec av A1 in maths, then English, physics, chemistry, biology are all B's. pls anyone with an idea whether the d7 in marketing will affect my chance of securing admission into Nigerian university because I heard DAT marketing is compulsory, pls advice pls cause l'm somehow scared

Marketing isn't compulsory
Compulsory subjects are
Maths English civic and any of the science subject

Hello! The Federal University of Petroleum has be confirmed hacked at about 6:15pm today
Full details visit www.plaza.ng

Confused

[quote author=Adeskillz post=55000839][/quote]That's how it is.. Just leave it like that till they've resolved the portal issue

chuks34:
Where is my queen priemer

I don't get you