This subject is still new in our lives. We found out one week ago that our daughter got married and never told us. We are very close (or so we thought), and had absolutely nothing against her boyfriend, we were looking towards a wedding, and discussed it together quite often. However, this is not the first time we've been "knocked to the floor" with a major life-changing event from our daughter, but we started relaxing because it seemed as though she was finally heading down the right track and thinking before acting. Aside from ignoring the need to have our blessings and allowing us to be an integral part of this very special time of her life, they do not realize that this is deception, immature, and blatant dishonor to her dad. Our plan was to give them $20,000 to start their "new life" off with (as a surprise) and definitely our blessings, when they got themselves financially stable and prepared to handle the challenges of marriage as well as her small children. He was still struggling to take care of himself (financially) and we were still semi-supporting our daughter and her children. It's very obvious to us that they have absolutely no clue of what they've done and have repeatedly said to us that they don't feel they've done anything wrong. Our family is a very loving and close family, but I'm afraid he has come into our family on a very sore note. The pain and hurt that we are all feeling is indescribable and the deep concern of what they're facing troubles us so much. But the answer to the question is, definitely not. It's unfair and disrespectful towards the parents who love and care and it adds so much unnecessary emotional baggage to carry into a new marriage.