CULTIVATING RESILIENCE.

Do you need to continue like this"

This was a question I asked myself every time I felt down. During my A'levels, I was in a room of four. My roommates had issues with me and why was this - I never woke up with a smile on my face. It was always like I woke up on the left side of the bed.
I won't offer a greeting nor will I respond to theirs. We always had class by 8 am every day and while preparing for the class, it was always with a frown on my face.

This didn't mean much to me. I felt that was who I was and they had to accept me that way. I paid little attention to it till they started mentioning and finding lots of fault with it.

They called my attention to it in annoyance and that was it — when I realized there was more to it than what they thought.

I was this girl who won't open up to anyone. I would rather die in silence than talk to anyone. It wasn't like there was no one to talk to. I had my family and a few friends that would have loved to listen to me. But, I didn't. I would rather tell you nothing even when it was glaring on my face that I was going through a lot.

My dad once flogged me due to this. He got tired of always hearing "nothing" when he could sense something going on with me. You know it is hard to hide things from your parents. They can always sense things in between your silence and smile.

I battled with so much, but what did I do.

I know you might be wondering where I am going with the story I started with. Buy, how else will you understand what I want to pass across than telling a story.

Yes! I also went into depression. I had this low morale in every aspect of my life. I was unhappy. I couldn't visualize a happy life or future. I was going through pains.

I had family, I had friends, I had colleagues, but this didn't stop me from being depressed.

Depression is hard when you don't even understand why you're that way. You don't know why you feel unhappy. You can place your mind on the exact thing that is making you depressed.
All you know is you're tired of everything and life itself.

It happens and the best way you can recover quickly is through your mental ability. Your state of mind.

You can decide to take therapy, but I want you to know — it all starts with you.

When I realized it was getting too much and I won't speak to anyone, I decided to fight it on my own. I was tired of getting angry and unhappy over what is not.

So, I made a choice!

— In my next post, I will share the choice I took and other steps towards cultivating resilience.

PS - I'm a Freelance Writer whose writes specializes on health, personal growth, personal development, parenting, and relationship.
If you need any of my services, send a message to : alimotakinsanya111@gmail.com