₦airaland Forum

no i am not published yet

Living in my house 
Is like living in hell 
Always with fear 
There's no one I can tell. 
   
Being stressed, 
Being sad, 
Most of all, 
Being mad. 
   
Never respected, 
Being pushed around,   
I can't stand it, 
but not a safe place I have found. 
   
Never the favourite, 
Never the most pretty,
no wonder why
I am so angry.
   
The way he looks at me- 
my own brother. 
He never seemed 
To make it any better. 
   
Why he did 
Those things to me- 
He doesn't care 
It hurts me daily. 
   
I put on a smile, 
Act normal, 
Hoping tomorrow 
won't be so awful.

blood relative, my great-grandma.

i dont know how lol

I once believed my family could do no wrong,
that they were perfect.
I once believed that I would get a pokemon for a pet,
that it would really happen.
I once believed we would always play 'tag' and 'house',
that we would never get too old.
I once believed that boys had cooties,
that if I touched one I would be infected.
I once believed I would always stay in contact with my elementary school friends,
that we really would be Best Friends Forever.
I once believed that high school would change my life,
that I would be different.
I once believed in high school I would find a boyfriend,
that they were different there.
I once believed I would never smoke,
that I could always be strong.
I once believed we would win the lottery,
that was just wishful thinking.

It's been two years since we met.
I didn't like you at first.
I was shy, you were upfront,
starting conversations,
me answering shortly.
We finally became friends.
I felt something more,
I knew you felt it too.

For six months
we played games,
or maybe you played me.

You finally asked.
Overly excited,
I said yes.
I wanted to give you
everything and more. You were my world,
I thought I was yours.

You went to Quebec
for only three days.
You never came back,
Quite the same.

We had to talk.
You said it was you.
You said you don't have time
for anyone right now.
I guess that meant everyone-
except for Steph.

You said it won't be fair to me.
You lied to me.
I fell for it all.
She was the one.

I was the fool.

A month ago,
Nanny died.
I just walked in the door
Mom and Dad standing there.
They told me.

Three days later,
the funeral.
Flowers everywhere,
people crying,
hugging.
Sad music
comes from an organ.

I got there,
I saw my grandma,
she was crying.
I felt her grief.
Then my aunt.
Awkwardly stading on heels,
we hugged.
Embracing each other,
heads on shoulders.

We gather,
take our seats,
get our tissue,
Nanny's in peace.