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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Hell is My Home (946 Views)
Episode 1: Hell Is A Place Called Home / The Wonders Of Hell: A Short Story / The Corridor of Hell (2) (3) (4)
Hell is My Home by amaver33: 2:11am On May 19, 2009 |
Living in my house Is like living in hell Always with fear There's no one I can tell. Being stressed, Being sad, Most of all, Being mad. Never respected, Being pushed around, I can't stand it, but not a safe place I have found. Never the favourite, Never the most pretty, no wonder why I am so angry. The way he looks at me- my own brother. He never seemed To make it any better. Why he did Those things to me- He doesn't care It hurts me daily. I put on a smile, Act normal, Hoping tomorrow won't be so awful. |
Re: Hell is My Home by chitzi: 7:25am On May 20, 2009 |
Not bad.Talk of one living in a deceptive protective capsule of fear.Or one seething with an impotent anger, without the means to vent it out.That's powerlessness in the face of a leprous encroachment that corrodes the soul and nibbles at the edges of human endurance. The poem is good too because of its compact nature, a manifold expression in few words. Do keep it up. P/s Give the poem a name so it can be identified.Except you wan' to leave untitled. |
Re: Hell is My Home by RuuDie(m): 8:08am On May 23, 2009 |
Good try. . . tells a story. I think it needs more incisive language to really bring all the pent up emotions to the fore! |
Re: Hell is My Home by slap1(m): 11:17am On May 23, 2009 |
good, the mood reminds me of The Solitary Reaper. do you have a published work yet? |
Re: Hell is My Home by amaver33: 5:33pm On May 23, 2009 |
no i am not published yet |
Re: Hell is My Home by slap1(m): 10:40pm On May 23, 2009 |
you'd make a good poet someday. check out my own piece and tell me what you think: A CASTLE FOR MY SOUL Since all these around me hastens towards void, Since the finishing tape in this race of breathe awaits patiently, I have resolved to plan for the existence yet non- existent. Henceforth, I will build a castle for my soul… Since the glamour or otherwise of life after the tape Is concluded before the embrace, I will make time hasten behind me While my castle is born. Since my soul and flesh shall go their separate ways, Someday; my flesh food for certain creatures, My soul slithering up in stolid invisibility, I shall prepare for that era… Since my tongue shall someday Face sugar or cactus, forever. I shall make the sugar mine, By building a castle for my soul. i still am unpublished owing to the Nigerian factor(you know), but i'm not hopeless. |
Re: Hell is My Home by SeanT21(f): 6:15am On May 24, 2009 |
I can picture a scene in my head. Keep it up.!! |
Re: Hell is My Home by slap1(m): 9:57pm On Feb 22, 2010 |
@lee007. This is it. |
Re: Hell is My Home by adebayo201: 8:45am On Feb 23, 2010 |
The topic is captivating |
Re: Hell is My Home by DENISE17(f): 8:49am On Feb 24, 2010 |
@slap1, the topic IS indeed captivating, u started off well, but stanza 4 is not solid, creativity just left you there. the poem is fine even if it could end on just stanza 3.the whole thing on stanza 4 about sugar just intoxicated the rest before it. @amever33,yo poem is not solid at all.it's like a cildren's poem.sorry but this is an honest critique.i can see where it's going,but there's no depth in creativity. |
Re: Hell is My Home by Ogaga4Luv(m): 11:27am On Feb 24, 2010 |
[size=13pt]I liked this topic like hell. . . . [/size] |
Re: Hell is My Home by slap1(m): 3:40pm On Feb 24, 2010 |
^ Which in particular? |
Re: Hell is My Home by Ogaga4Luv(m): 4:32pm On Feb 24, 2010 |
[size=13pt]how may hell do you know. . .? , see your funny question. [/size] |
Re: Hell is My Home by adebayo201: 6:22am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Ogaga4Luv:u and this satanism, im sure its in u lol |
Re: Hell is My Home by adebayo201: 6:28am On Feb 25, 2010 |
slap1:u question is funny indeed. lmao |
Re: Hell is My Home by Ogaga4Luv(m): 5:27pm On Feb 25, 2010 |
[size=13pt]buhehehehehe. . . . thats right. [/size] adebayo201: |
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