₦airaland Forum

No, definately was not a shot-gun wedding, we booked the wedding 12 months in advance, we had our son before we got married-did not marry because of being pregnant. We were going to get married the year before but decide against it as we didn't want it to look that way.

I'm married 18

Hi all,
Just a little advice needed please.
Been married to a nigerian man for near a year (I am british) and we have a son. Before we married he had cheated (although I forgave him, but it did cause problems), he has always also been very stingy where money is concerned, but when I met him I understood lack of going out and gifts because he had little money.

In our marriage we have endless arguments, he is very stubborn, tends to think he is always right (even when not) and highly critical of even the littlest things. I have met his family, his mother has stayed with us on occasions when visiting and she is very supportive and lovely.

Finances as a married couple have been difficult as he seems to begrudge not being to be able to afford to travel and spend money on himself as our money is needed to support our family.

Recently we split and have been living separately as things were getting too bad, but I do love him and I believe he me and would like to make things work. We are talking now of sorting things out, but it has been so long since things have been good that I am wondering if they can be.

I have been trying to think of the good times but then the other night I found a diary from about 6 months in our relationship, which was describing him as being cold, distant and critical of me, the same things as he is now, which worries me that perhaps this side of him has just become more pronounced now we are married and he'll never change.

It is not just me who has been discussing divorce, he also has said that it can't go on like this as he really wants a family and if I can't put things right well he can find someone else who will.

I hate to generalise but are his characteristics typical of nigerian men, don't get me wrong he does have a loving, caring side (when he wants) but he is just very hard, he sees me as british as having had an easy life compared to his nigerian experiences and so shows no tolerance when I am upset at things because he sees them as trivial.

Its been so hard as I do love him so much and really don't want to end our marriage, any advice on how to handle him or this situation.