₦airaland Forum

PetroDolla3: hope you can feed those modafakas eating from the dustbin in your cursed sh1thole,huh? http://ugowrite..com/2011/04/nigeria-meal-from-dustbin-in-lagos.html
The biggest shith0ole ever in the history of mankind exports 2.5 million barrels of oil daily and yet 90% of their impoverished and long-suffering citizens struggle to survive on less than $ 2 a day.

[url]Nigeria jagajaga, Everything scatter scatter Poor man dey suffer suffer Gbosa, gbosa, gunshot inna de air.[/url]


? I often wonder how some 180 million sickos ended up in one place. LOL. The 7th largest producer of oil, with some of the largest reserves of gas and yet they can’t produce enough electricity for themselves. The shith0le can’t even fvckin produce petrol for its poverty-ridden citizens.

JiggamanGh: This cat and mouse game between Ghana and Nigeria will never have any winners just two losers. Just like alien compliance order and Ghana must go saga. Why can't we be like USA and Canada.

https://www.nairaland.com/1911119/nigerian-retailers-ordered-leave-ghana

tonyx4x44: A few of this rules may not apply to Nigerians, but the idea is the same



Guy Code
The code by which each and every man must and will follow. The code is for a man’s eyes only; any woman found guilty of reading the guy code will no longer be communicated with by any member of the male gender, unless rated an 8 or higher on the official scale of hotness, and offering a sexual favour for every rule she has read. Any man found breaking the guy code will no longer be considered a man for the next 24 hours. This includes no sex, no beer, no sports, no bars, no trucks, no video games, and unfortunately, no porn.


guy code
The unwritten code that all guys must follow in order to be a man. Unless you are a homo then your more along the lines of girl code. There are things to follow when using guy code. Guy code is the RULES of being a guy, and any "guy" that says that guy code are more like guidlines theyre probobaly a homo.

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.

2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".

5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)

6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

8. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.

9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.

10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.

11. Do not torpedo single friends.

12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"

14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

15. If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!

16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)

17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.

19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.

20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.

22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.

23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.

24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.

25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.

26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.

27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.

28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.

29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.

30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"

31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.

32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.

33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.

34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.

36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.

37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "Bleep off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.

38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.

39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.

40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year

41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)

42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.

43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is MouthAction involved).

44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.

45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)

46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.

47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.

48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.

49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.

50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving fast than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.

51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.

52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)

53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.

54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.

55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.

56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)

57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.

58. There are is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)

59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.

60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.

61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.

62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.

63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.

64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.

65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.

66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.

67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...

68. If you say ouch, you are a pussy!

69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (party with two girls)


guy code
The unwritten code that all guys must follow in order to be a man. Unless you are a homo then your more along the lines of girl code. There are things to follow when using guy code. Guy code is the RULES of being a man and any "guy" that says that guy code are more like guidlines theyre probobaly a homo





Sauce : [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Guy%20Code] link [/url]

Aranaa: I just wanted to find out if there are any Ghanaians on this site who live in Nigeria?

Slicqyprizzy: Guy, you're late

Kasynpaulsyn1997: bro,the gaynaians are still very much here in my neighbourhood! Over four families are living in my neighbourhood(@uyo) selling alomo bitters,bons and puff puff! Ghanaians are just dumb!!!

MadCow1: No Ghanaian can afford to invest in Nigeria..


REASON::


A Ghanaian comes into Nigeria with 10 Billion Ghana Cedis.. After exchanging it, he had 1 hundred and Twenty Thousand Naira.

Thats why Ghanaians only invest in Zimbabwe where the Exchange rate for 1 Billion Cedis is 1 .1 Billion Zimbabwean Dollar.

MadCow1: [b]BREAKING NEWS The Brazillian government has sent a high powered envoy to Nigeria to meet with President Goodluck Jonathan to assist them in tackling an Immigration pest problem. The Brazillians chose to seek assistance from the Government of Nigeria after it realized that like the Ebola outbreak, Nigeria is the only country to have been able to successfully rid itself of the Ghanaian Immigrant Virus (GIV). Brazil has been struggling for Months to get rid on Hundreds of Thousands og Ghanaians who snuck into the country under the guise of watching the worldcup and have refused to leave despite Ghana being eleiminated in the first round and the world cup being over.

President Jonathan has promised to supply the Brazillian government with Nigerias special secret weapon which was developed by the Nigerian Military in collaboration with the Defense ministry through their Anti-Biological weapons program and Pest Attack management program. The Weapon has been used successfully in Nigeria in 1983 to Combat and destroy the Ghanaian epidemic in Nigeria.. That was the first successful human testing of the weapon..

Below is a prototype of the Weapon.. The actual weapon cannot be disclosed for Natioanl security reasons;

https://www.foyles.co.uk/cms-uploaded/Bag.jpg


The Brazillian Government are so greatful that they have even offered to make travels between Nigeria and Brazil Visa free, but President Jonathan graciously declined their offer.


www.Shahararoporters.com [/b]

collynzo2: They have released their load shedding timetable hahahaha.
http://mobile.ghanaweb.com/wap/article.php?ID=326406
V0lv0 Petrodullard, Royalpearl aka localpear, jiggaman etc, you better go and check out the timetable so that you will know when you'll have your own 30 minutes of electricity a day, you can't afford to miss it.
Chai!

bakynes: My friend Nigerians are like Inidans and Chinese you find them in thousands and millions in various parts of the world. The Nigerians you have in Ghana is not as a result of poverty or being a refugee like Ghanaians were. Refugees in Nigeria back in the day's bt because most of them are business men and women who believe the Nigerian market is too competitive for them and wants to exploit from the Ghanaian market.

mrham03: it means your ecomony is over-hyped. How come nigerians are running out of your country to find greener pastures in ghana, ivory coast, benin, south africa, zimbabwe and yet u say ur economy is good. Are u sure about that?

customized13: The whole of kumasi, ghana's 2nd largest city is a slum and nigeria want to stop dashing them gas, how do you want them to survive

customized13: try to help beggars when you can, ghana begs every nation of the world. Even UN and IMF are scared of them now as a result of their begging attitude

mrham03: guy, u fool oo. Lol

iamord: There is something u need to know.. u have nothing to prove to these cats..cos their perception about ghana has been negative from the onset. Let's develop our country and let the work of our hands speak! We have done it before.. Doing it again is a sure thing

lezz: Ghana isn't even at the level of Gambia. If ghana can save west africa, sudan can save the planet...hehehehehehe.

JiggamanGh: And u will believe, we all know iconize lives in a village near sokoto.

This is the exchange rate.

See how foolis u r, u just fell of the apple tree for no reason.

mrham03: shut the Bleep up and get of this thread. U think its funny that a stuppid country called nigeria could not keep its part of the deal?

iconize: My uncle sent me $200 but when I changed it to cedis I needed a gayna must go bag to carry the money - Okijajuju.

Wale112: By next month Ghana will stop buying gas from Nigeria. Their gas plant are ready.


Only Ghana can save WEST AFRICA

chinasaekperem3: When two elephants fight (nigeria govt and nnpc), the grass will suffer it (ghana).

andersyn: LET'S BE TRUTHFUL TO OURSELVES Muslims are not happy
They’re not happy in Gaza
They're not happy in Egypt
They're not happy in Libya
They're not happy in Morocco
They're not happy in Iran
They're not happy in Iraq
They're not happy in Yemen
They're not happy in Afghanistan
They're not happy in Pakistan
They're not happy in Syria
They're not happy in Lebanon
So, where are they happy? They're happy in
Australia
They're happy in England
They're happy in France
They're happy in Italy
They're happy in Germany
They're happy in Sweden
They're happy in the USA & Canada
They're happy in Norway & India
They're happy in almost every country that
is not Islamic! And who
do they blame? Not Islam... Not their
leadership... Not themselves...
THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY
ARE HAPPY IN!! And they want
to change the countries they're happy in, to
be like the countries they
came from where they were unhappy.
Try to find logic in that ! JeffFox worthy on
Muslims:
1. If you refine hero in for a living, but you
have a moral objection
to liquor... You are a Muslim
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $
5,000 rocket launcher, but
you can't afford shoes... You are a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth... You
are a Muslim
4. If you think vests come in two styles:
bullet-proof and
suicide...You are a Muslim
5. If you can't think of anyone you haven't
declared Jihad
against...You are a Muslim
6. If you consider television dangerous, but
routinely carry explosives
in your clothing... You are a Muslim
7. If you were amazed to discover that cell
phones have uses other
than setting off roadside bombs... You are a
Muslim
8. If you have nothing against women and
think every man should own
at least four... You are a Muslim
9.If you find this offensive or racist and
don't forward it... You are a
Muslim!! --------------------
Buddhists living with Hindus = NoProblem
Hindus living with Christians = NoProblem
Christians living with Shintos = NoProblem
Shintos living with Confucians = NoProblem
Confusians living with Baha'is = NoProblem
Baha'is living with Jews = NoProblem
Jews living with Atheists = NoProblem
Atheists living with Buddhists = NoProblem
Buddhists living with Sikhs = NoProblem
Sikhs living with Hindus = NoProblem
Hindus living with Baha'is = NoProblem
Baha'is living with Christians = NoProblem
Christians living with Jews = NoProblem
Jews living with Buddhists = NoProblem
Buddhists living with Shintos = NoProblem
Shintos living with Atheists = NoProblem
Atheists living with Confucians =
NoProblem
Confusians living with Hindus = NoProblem
Muslims living with Hindus = Problem
Muslims living with Buddhists = Problem
Muslims living with Christians = Problem
Muslims living with Jews = Problem
Muslims living with Sikhs = Problem
Muslims living with Baha'is = Problem.
Muslims living with Shintos = Problem
Muslims living with Atheists= Problem
MUSLIMS LIVING WITH MUSLIMS =BIG
PROBLEM.

mulante: Where is Jack Bauer when you need him?

Havilah93: See haters crawling out of dem holes

juman: Huge corruption Atiku is the problem of insecurity in the country.

onosking: He should just join d military now to express his anger,it's not too late

Danelo: To all d haterz d finala score will b 3:1 mak una dey happy temporarily