₦airaland Forum

baby124: I really don't know what you are looking for. And so what about being 30? What is it about 30 you are afraid of. Yes I said close your legs for now. You have 3kids you can't take care of. Forget about man. The right man you are looking for won't even look at you if you have not built yourself. Except you want to end up in a polygamous home. And please don't tell me to watch my mouth you rude thing. Like you have not learnt from your first marriage. You want to find another 'rich' man to take care of you after escaping being cooked by ritualists. One will think you would have learnt by now. Smh

u simply dnt understand and and i guess u never will coz ur not in ma shoes, my husband wen i marryd him was nt rich it was in d bid 2 b rich dat he went to the cult..... so dnt tink its d money am after k? the problem wit we Nigerians is tha weneva its anoda person s corpse its nt as painful as if it wer urs.... its so easy 4 u 2 met out advise bt if it wer u in my shoes wat wil u do? answer the question logically witout a biased mind and stop throwing insults k?

[quote author=baby_123]Go and get your daughter even if you have to steal her. If I have a daughter somewhere and I don't know anything about her, I won't be able to sleep till she is with me. It's better your kids grow up together. If your MIL wants company, she should get a nanny.

Have patience and stay in your parents house for now. You already have a lot of family support and help which you need. Try to take your mum to a Good Dr. Maybe at a teaching hospital. It may be that what she needs is just the right drugs.

Work hard and build yourself to be able to take care of your 3 kids. It is not an impossible task. You just have to be determined and constantly thinking. A new husband right now should not be your priority. The right man will come when he will. Enjoy your youth and use this time to work hard for yourself and your kids. What is the guarantee that this new man will want to see your boys or even take care of them. What is the guarantee that this new man you are chasing will not just get you pregnant and run away. Leaving you with even more trouble. Just close your legs for now and focus on your future.[/quote]. D fact dat I said I wud like to marry agen dnt mk me 1 who 'opens my legs' easily k? So pls watch ur words... I am stil young and nt up 2 30 yet and u want me 2 liv d rest of my life as a single mother? Put ursef in my position: wer ur salary dnt mk ends mit and u want d best 4 ur kids bt can't provide 4 dem? Do u tink I fil hapy tinking abt givin up my boys? Everybody has bin commenting on get a gud job work hard etc but let's face facts, we al knw d Nigerian situation... Hw difficult it is 2 secure a job despite one's gud grade (I av a gud grade frm one of d best universities in Nigeria). Stil d fact dat I have a gud grade hasn't bin able 2 secure me dat we'll paying job, and years is rolling buy.. D kids are growing and so is der nids! Others have said I shud look 4 a business 2 support my job 4 now, but wer do I get d capital from? Wit d job I have now I have 2 support not jux my kids bt my parents 2 who r both retired! I am not saying I want 2 marry 2day or 2moro... Infact I haven't even met a decent man yet... Al am saying is if given a chance 2 date agen I wnt want 2 throw it away... I tink of my old age, d boys wud grow and liv home somday and I'd b alone? Besides as am nt yet up 2 30 hw do I stay single 4 d rest of my life? How many Nigerian men wud likely look my way knowing I av 3kids? Even if dey did hw many wud b willingly 2 take me and my kids in on event of re-marriage? Dis is Nigerian and I knw hw dey operate! Besides my kids fada like I said wil NEVER use his kids 4 rituals... He was given a choice btwn me and his mother and he chose 2 use me bcoz accroding 2 him am nt his blood dat is his mentality! Yet I knw dat if my children r 2 av a better life 4 nw dey av 2 go 2 him... Going 2 him is not a forever tin.. I cud always monitor der progress somhw, I dnt knw hw 4 now 2 b honest... But....

@ Yemlizzy I was financially stable b4 d marriage coz I served in a well knwn bank and was retained bt I ad 2 quit ma job 4 d sake of d marriage... 4 d sake of peace... Sure I want 2 concentr8 on my kids bt am looking @ d future... In say 10yrs time dey wud b grown. And less dependant on me... Dey wud also want 2 see der fada no mata wat I tel dem abt him... Tink abt dat. Wat hapens 2 me wen dey r grown and out of d house...?

Andromina I have a job bt d pay is not enough 2 cater 4 me talk of my 2 kids... I stil liv wit ma parents... So u get d picture! D current job I have is not wat I can build a career frm and u knw d Nigerian situation, I have ad 2 tk up jobs I dnt want 2 in d past just coz of d kids... I dnt want 2 cont bin in a state of desperation jux bcoz of dem... Besides dropin dem off wit der fada myt b beta of 4 dem coz his brothers and sisters are financially bouyant 2 cater 4 d nids of d kids...

@ sophyrocks u dnt understand my husabnd won't use his children 4 rituals coz dey r his blood! Accroding to him I am nt his blood... He had his old mother livin wit us den and he dint use her...

Pls I am in a huge delimna and I seriously nid your advise, NO INSULTS pls..... I met my husband in 2008 during my NYSC and we got married dat same year (by den I was already pregnant for my first child). I av spent 3yrs in d marriage and I av 3 children 2 account for it! Last year (2010) I began to notice strange tyns about my husband... He started visiting one baba and dis baba duped him of al d money he had and his business crumbled... Such dat he sold al his lands and shops. my mother inlaw lives wit us and most times my husband does not consult me as his wife on major decisions in d house rada he prefers to ask his mother because according to him I am young! Wen my husband bcame broke he join a cult and he was asked to bring me bt he cud not (I did not knw dis @ dat time bt he went a bit mad and had 2 go 2 ma parents house 2 stay a while and I was told dat he confessed to this 2 der hearing of everyone wen a pastor came to pray for him)... My parents after hearing dis asked me to return home to giv birth (den I was pregnant for my last child (2012)) unknown to me dey ad decided dat I wud not return 2 my husband after I gev birth..I cudnt return to my husband (although by dis time he was maltritin me and asking me to go, dat i am a witch)... I left my 2yrs old daughter wit my mother-in-law and took her broda (1yr old) because I cud not tk d 2 of dem wit me for 2 reasons: 1 I was heavily pregnant and 2 I did not knw dat I wnt b returning 2 my husband. Its 2yrs now since I left him bt from d time of my pregnancy til I gave birth my husband has not called to ask for the whereabout of his children talk more of sending money for their upkeep! I had 2 struggle to kip ma children in skul and cater for their needs... Recently his family members called and said that I shud continue training their children dat dey wud com in 15yrs time to collect them by den dey wud b big... I am in a delimna nw should I return my boys to their father? Or should I kip dem? Bt I dnt want to kip dem for the following reasons; 1 dey are boys and I knw dat der fada wil com 2 collect dem sooner or later. 2 I want to move on wit my life bcoz my husband dat I knw wil NEVER com 4 me and as I am stil young I wud like to re-marry. 3 my mother who helps me 2 take care of my boys, while I go 2 work, has health issues coupled wit the fact dat my parents are managin and don't nid extra mouths 2 fid. 4 I am not financially stable to kip dem But I stil have the instincts of a mother and I don't want to giv up my sons jux like dat bcause I might neva see them agen jux like I have not seen their sister now for 2yrs+........ Pls wat do I do? I nid urgent answers!

Pls I am in a huge delimna and I seriously nid your advise, NO INSULTS pls..... I met my husband in 2008 during my NYSC and we got married dat same year (by den I was already pregnant for my first child). I av spent 3yrs in d marriage and I av 3 children 2 account for it! Last year (2010) I began to notice strange tyns about my husband... He started visiting one baba and dis baba duped him of al d money he had and his business crumbled... Such dat he sold al his lands and shops. my mother inlaw lives wit us and most times my husband does not consult me as his wife on major decisions in d house rada he prefers to ask his mother because according to him I am young! Wen my husband bcame broke he join a cult and he was asked to bring me bt he cud not (I did not knw dis @ dat time bt he went a bit mad and had 2 go 2 ma parents house 2 stay a while and I was told dat he confessed to this 2 der hearing of everyone wen a pastor came to pray for him)... My parents after hearing dis asked me to return home to giv birth (den I was pregnant for my last child (2012)) unknown to me dey ad decided dat I wud not return 2 my husband after I gev birth..I cudnt return to my husband (although by dis time he was maltritin me and asking me to go, dat i am a witch)... I left my 2yrs old daughter wit my mother-in-law and took her broda (1yr old) because I cud not tk d 2 of dem wit me for 2 reasons: 1 I was heavily pregnant and 2 I did not knw dat I wnt b returning 2 my husband. Its 2yrs now since I left him bt from d time of my pregnancy til I gave birth my husband has not called to ask for the whereabout of his children talk more of sending money for their upkeep! I had 2 struggle to kip ma children in skul and cater for their needs... Recently his family members called and said that I shud continue training their children dat dey wud com in 15yrs time to collect them by den dey wud b big... I am in a delimna nw should I return my boys to their father? Or should I kip dem? Bt I dnt want to kip dem for the following reasons; 1 dey are boys and I knw dat der fada wil com 2 collect dem sooner or later. 2 I want to move on wit my life bcoz my husband dat I knw wil NEVER com 4 me and as I am stil young I wud like to re-marry. 3 my mother who helps me 2 take care of my boys, while I go 2 work, has health issues coupled wit the fact dat my parents are managin and don't nid extra mouths 2 fid. 4 I am not financially stable to kip dem But I stil have the instincts of a mother and I don't want to giv up my sons jux like dat bcause I might neva see them agen jux like I have not seen their sister now for 2yrs+........ Pls wat do I do? I nid urgent answers!