₦airaland Forum

I don't even like the option anymore ...

IamPlato:
...


Fvck him To Death


Or


Give Him Rat Medicine

Thanks for the comments! Will need to take some time and think about the all situation.

My "husband" because I don't think you need to get married to commite. Buy hey, that's all you pick about the whole text?

oyoni:
How is he your "Husband" if you are not married?

Hi all
Today I found out my "husband" had been cheating on me during the almost eleven years we had been together. We didn't married but I thought the commitment was there, plus we have two kids.
Of course we had our problems during the relationship, so I could somehow could try to understand to be cheated from certain moment, but from the beginning!!!
I think he never loved me or he is just addicted to sex, or he is still a child, he needs to get everything he wants, he over react,...
I just don't understand!
Anyone in a similar situation? Where do I go from here?
Thanks for reading
*Today is a sad day*

Sanja:
Hi everybody!

I come from a country in Europe, I am married to a Nigerian man. We have a son (1 year old).
I wonder what happens with our child if I and my husband get divorced. Should I be afraid to let him take our son to Nigeria in the future? I mean, are there laws in Nigeria saying that the child automatically belongs to the father? (As it is in some countries).
In the country where we live now the law says we will have shared custody if we both want it.

How is it in Nigeria?

And what if my husband hides our son somewhere in Nigeria, will the Nigerian state be willing to help finding my son? Or are they oing to protect the father?

(This is a worst-case-scenario that I hope never will happen, but I have to ask anyway, )

Hi Sanja
How did everything go at the end? I am in a similar situation.
Thanks

MissIfe:
That is exactly what I wanted to say!

I'm also european, married to a nigerian man, with a baby,  And we struggled A LOT on that issue during our 1st year of marriage. He wanted my respect (which I considered submission), I wanted his care (which I called respect). Until someday, I finally just accepted to give a try to his own way,  and it worked ! We have never been so happy together, and I've actually discovered so many qualities from my husband that I didn't know about. He is caring, loving and much more mature than me when it comes to leading the home and family. He always listens to me and take my opinion into consideration, sometimes he even lets me decide, because he knows that I would follow him if he was making the decision himself.

I find our relationship very different from one with a european man, who would expect the woman to step up and take responsibilities in providing/leading the home,  and who sometimes end up treating us like their moms  At least, my husband is a real man, who can ask for help but doesn't need me to make decision or keep the home running if I am away.

Before you consider divorce, and for the sake of your child, please, try the same thing I did: just give in,  Accept his way of doing and trust him. Imagine that you are blindfolded and that he's leading you,  If you can't trust your life partner for that, then who would you trust?!

Give yourselves a few months and do your best to behave the way he wants you too,  He might get softer as he sees you accepting his ways, and you might find that you like his way of leading the marriage.

Please, give it a real try,  I know so many marriages that broke up because of lack of tolerance rather than lack of love, it's such a waste,

Hi MissIfe
I know this is a very old post but I was wondering how everything is going in your marriage? I am in a situation similar to @Sanja (would love to know how is she too) and I really want to try what you @MissIfe suggested. I am only scare about one thing, what if I do it and then he doesn't relax? I know he has a good heart but lately everything is just so mess up
Thanks in advanced