₦airaland Forum

modath:
Our people don't understand branding & effective PR mgt!!!!

In showbiz, no news is the bad news, he is currently naija's most visible entertainment figure & he should ride this wave of publicity to its death!

Baddo could have cashed out biggerly on this, from merchandising to Ads etc but they don't know & they don't listen!!!

I wish but..

........................... Here!!

Office Of The Sug Sec Coou Uli. Pls this is to inform my beloved Students aspirants that jamb has published their 2nd list batch online on jamb website. Pls note that School has not release their own list which they will release shortly on school noticeboard.This is to tell every aspirants that if your name is in jamb website or not,just exercise patient the 2nd list and last list will be pasted shortly in School notice board at Coou Uli.Thats the Information at stake.Thanks and God bless u.

Are you under 25? You can't even feed yourself?
And you are in a relationship with a girl who gives
you money sometimes for the week? Or you give
her sometimes for transport to go home and all
you guys dream about is how you will marry and
have so many children? Please, die now!


Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=863238910439484&id=100002601488609&_rdr

witnezHD:
Some Preachers start their sermon
wit...
"people who jump from church to
church are confused" & end it with
"please invite your friends to join
us"
#Wondering_who_is_really_d_conf
used_one

Fallacy!

After reading this, you will learn a
“dangerously” effective way that you can
use to make a girl visit you, even when
she suspects you are “up to something”
*winks*

But before we dive into that, let me make
something clear. All the tips I’m about to
show you will not work if you’ve not
made a girl interested in you, at least, a
bit.

But don’t worry, right here on the NEXT
post, will contain “How to make a girl
interested in you”.

If you’ve been following my articles then
continue reading. But if you’ve not, make
sure you check out my other write ups
after reading this.

In my other articles you will learn some
secrets you can use to make a girl
interested in you. Now, let’s start… Shall
we? If yes, click on getting a girl to visit
you is super easy. The problem is that
most guys don’t find it so..
You ask a girl to come over and visit you
and she turns you down, giving some
flimsy excuses. Sometimes she agrees
to come over and then turns around to
disappoint you. I’ve been there before,
till i learnt how to “trick” my way out of it.
Here is why girls are avoiding your
house…
It’s because you are scaring them away.
Don’t worry. Let me explain further.
Firstly, a girl will never visit you if she
finds you boring (read my article on “how
to talk to girls” to put a stop to being
boring).

Secondly, a girl will avoid your house if
she notices you are desperate for her
visit. Never ever beg a girl to visit you.
Never give her the impression that she is
doing you a favour by visiting you. You
dey get the gist abi?

As in, Never ever ever make a girl feel
you are badly in need for her visit. It
scares them like crazy. It gives her this
impression that: “he wants sex, that is
why he has been begging me to visit”.

The best approach is to make it seem
you are inviting her over for something.
As in, you have to give her this idea that
she is coming over for a reason.

Let me give you an example.
Here is one trick that is damn effective…
You could call a girl up today, after
making her interested in you, then go
like:
“Hey, I want to cook ogbono soup. I
need directions abeg. Shebi you can
cook it”
Of course she go know. Ask her to give
you directions, then make a show of
acting as if you are writing the directions
down.


NOTE: She will find this funny and you
both will have a good laugh as she gives
you the direction over the phone.
After she is done with the directions,
thank her and hang up Then give her like
30 minutes and call her again. Then say
something like:

YOU: “Haba na. You give me fake
directions na”.
HER: “Lol. How”
YOU: “I just finished cooking the soup, it
doesn’t draw. you give me direction for
non-drawing ogbono soup? Plus the
soup looks funny. It’s red here and
brown there”.

If you do this well, it will make her laugh.
Go ahead and PLAYFULLY tease her:
YOU: “Haba, we are beefing o. you for tell
you can’t cook ogbono na”. Bla bla bla
bla.
When you two are done laughing over the
whole thing. Tell her you will call her
back and end the call.

Two days later, contact her, tell her you
feel like eating ogbono soup the next
day. And you wouldn’t want to take a
risk again, and that you really need to
learn how to cook the soup.

Then invite her over to TEACH YOU. Not
to cook it for you (you never can tell if
she is a feminist who doesn’t like
cooking for guys. Lol).

Use the word
TEACH, it’s safer!
Hope you got the whole strategy?
Here is the point, directly asking a girl to
come and visit you raises the red flag in
her head and makes her wonder what
you are up to.

When you give her a reason, it makes her
relaxed. Also, girls don’t like to feel as if
they gave in to a guy’s “temptation”. It
makes them feel cheap.

But when you structure your invitation
like it’s not a temptation, you make it
easier for her to come – even though
she knows it might still be a temptation.
Some other “reasons” you can give a girl
to come over are:

– “There is this new action movie I got,
come over let’s watch it together. Bring
pop corns. I will bring the drinks”
– “Can you play cheese? Come over let
me teach you. Make sure you come with
note books for note taking”.

Are you getting the pattern here?
One; You are inviting her over with a
reason
Two; you are making her see you are not
desperate for her visit by playfully giving
her conditions for her visit (eg: bring pop
corns)
Three; You are sounding as if she will
agree to the invitation. As in, you went
ahead to ask her to bring pop corns
without waiting for her to give an answer
if she will come or not.


DISCLAIMER: Only use this strategy on a
girl you suspect will turn you down if you
directly invite her over. If you are sure
she won’t turn you down, just directly
ask her to come and visit you (no need
for the hassle in that case).


Source: Arthur Flex (The Elite)

Masturbation is popularly performed by mostly
men and a little percentage of women masturbate.
We shall discuss on this topic based on the
medical,physical and mental knowledge given to
us by God. Let us start from the advantages of
masturbation:


1.Masturbation ease tension in both male and
female.


2.Masturbation makes a male or female feel light.


3.Masturbation prevent a guy from being sick due
to too much sperm deposit.


4.Masturbation help in producing an imaginary
sex image in both male and female.


5.Masturbation reduces the rate of a male or
female Hot feelings.


6.Masturbation prevent a man from having sex
without a woman.


7.Masturbation satisfy both male and female
sexually.


8.Masturbation reduces sexual transmitted
diseases.


9.Masturbation preserve a virgin guy(based on
what some people believes).


10.Masturbation cools an aroused body.


11.Masturbation is the best way of collection of
sperm when a running a sperm count analysis.





THE DISADVANTAGE OF MASTURBATION
1.Masturbation is a serious sin in the holy bible.


2.Masturbation makes the penis or dick to get
weak when been used in the body of a woman.


3.Masturbation makes a penis to develop too
many vein thereby making it unattractive.


4.Masturbation causes infections in females.


5.Masturbation weaken the hormone responsible
in producing sperm.


6.Masturbation makes a man moan,suffer and
starve for real sex during the period of
masturbating.


7.It reduces the period of ejaculation in men.


8.Masturbation weaken the womb in females
thereby not enabling the womb to carry a child
which leads to abortion(miscarriages most of the
time).


9.It sometimes causes infertility in women.


10.It causes cancer in women.


11.Masturbation can make a woman lose her
virginity.


12.It can cause sperm disability which leads to
abnormal children(in fewer cases).

With this points I have made,I will take it that
masturbation causes harm to a human body. So
masturbation should be avoided except if only to
be used for medical purposes.

1. No one will believe you if you tell them that it isn’t for religious reasons. (Even though it’s fine if it is for religious reasons.) This generation is not capable of understanding, despite what they say, that “just not wanting to have sex until marriage” is an option for otherwise not-particularly-religious people.
2. Often, it’s the people who talk the most about how they are “sex positive” who will give you the most crap for choosing to be a virgin, because they think it means there’s something wrong and non-modern about you. They think that you should be “liberated,” even if you already are.
3. Dating is not as hard as you would expect, but you have to be up-front about it from the beginning. Sometimes you meet someone you really like, and you’re so worried about scaring them off that you try to put off saying something, but you have to just get it out of the way. The sooner you find out if they’re compatible, the better.
4. Yes, everyone will try to “convert” you.
5. A lot of people have a hard time understanding that you don’t necessarily need someone who is also a virgin, as long as they’ve been tested. People like to assume that personal journeys need to involve someone else.
6. People will ask you if you’re asexual, or if you don’t like being physical with someone else, because they think that a woman who isn’t religious must be repulsed by sex to not want it before marriage.
7. No one believes that you watch porn. 8. Everyone will ask you really invasive questions about the other things you do that basically sound like you’re trying to trick God that you didn’t have “real” sex when you actually did.
9. A lot of guys will ask you if the butt counts.
10. (Yes, the butt counts.)
11. When you talk to people about the reasons you’re actually doing it — for your health and protection, because you want to connect to your partner in other ways, because you want to save it for one person, because you think the world is sex-obsessed enough as it is — none of your answers will be sufficient.
12. A lot of people you date won’t consider it a “real” relationship until you have sex, and even if they pretend to be okay with at first, they’ll eventually start pressuring you into “going all the way” because they don’t know how to accept a relationship that doesn’t have it.
13. Even if you are 100 percent cool about other people having sex, they will always think that you’re judging them.
14. A lot of self-defined feminists will get really in your face about this decision, because on some level they feel like you’re setting women back, or not using the gifts that the women’s movement won for us to have sex when and where we feel like it. They feel like you’re choosing to bow to the patriarchy because you don’t want to do one specific thing with your body.
15. They don’t see this as ironic or backwards.
16. Sometimes, in this world where everything is turned into something sexual and casual hookups have replaced a lot of real relationships, the most shocking thing you can do is not have sex. People are desensitized by Unclothedness, and sex, and violence, and any combination of the three, but abstinence is something we don’t know how to deal with anymore.

Since I heard this in the lyrics of Drake's latest track titled "My Side" I kept on pondering on this and I kept on asking my self this same question, Why are we Wasting our Relationship on a Relationship that is based on what we see rather than truthful words and true feelings?

My girlfriend said she's pregnant and up till now she haven't said April Fool, anyway am still waiting, April never finish!

1.Openness
Every woman wants to reveal her partner her
deepest naughty fantasies, but not every woman
can entrust her secret dreams. That’s why a man
must be totally open in bed. The more open a guy is about his intimate desires, the more open a woman will be with hers.

2. Listening
To be heard is one of those things women always
want to get from guys, even under the sheets. We
know exactly what we love doing in bed. Guys
should just listen to us and respond to our
guidance on how to satisfy us best. Of course,
their efforts will be rewarded.

3. Passion
There is
no doubt women dream about all sorts of
romance, candles, flowers, gentle words etc. But
men should not forget about passion as well, raw
passion. Sometimes the best way to satisfy a
woman is to just take her, kiss her hard, and make no apologies for how desperately he needs all of you.


4. Aggressiveness
We, women, are quite enthusiastic about
aggressive sex, aren’t we? Even a little roughing
under the sheets can do wonders for our sexual
life. We do not want our men to be aggressive on
every occasion, but sometimes guys must
definitely turn into real aggressors and feel free to venture into this darker world of intimate desires.

5.Focus on entire body
Unfortunately men often make this mistake. They
pay attention to a few places on a woman’s body
when trying to bring her pleasure. But we don’t
actually want our partner to focus only on these
“obvious” intimate spots. We want guys to pay
attention to our entire body rather than the sum of its parts.


6.Longer MouthAction
It’s just incredible how many men don’t give their
women MouthAction that often, or even don’t do it at
all. They actually think it’s OK. But it’s definitely
not! Guys expect MouthAction for themselves, but do
not always return the sentiment to girls. It’s a
huge mistake. Agree, girls? We want men to
experiment a little bit down there and figure out
what we like best.

7. Domination
We, women, want it all, to dominate and to be
dominated. We want men to take charge in bed as well as we want to take charge by ourselves.
Sometimes to control everything what’s going on
between the sheets brings us real pleasure, “the
cowgirl” position works the best in this case. The
must-remember tip here is to switch these roles
from time to time.


8. Dirty talk
Women love dirty talk, but men often miss giving it to us. Every girl secretly wants her partner
to engage her naughty side and tell
her exactly what he is thinking about, not just
flowery sweet nothing. Our halves must tell us
about their dirtiest sexual desires and then fulfill
them in the bedroom!
So, these are the main things women want their
men to do in the bedroom. Don’t be upset if your
partner doesn’t do all of them. Just talk to him,
and don’t be afraid to reveal your deepest and
darkest desires. Find out his secret fantasies too.
Understanding and trusting each other is the best way to spice up your sexual life.


Source: www.coougist.com

Fellow Nigerians,
I thank you all for turning out en-masse for the
March 28 General Elections.
I promised the country free and fair elections. I
have kept my word. I have also expanded the
space for Nigerians to participate in the democratic
process. That is one legacy I will like to see
endure.
Although some people have expressed mixed
feelings about the results announced by the
Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC),
I urge those who may feel aggrieved to follow due
process based on our constitution and our
electoral laws, in seeking redress.
As I have always affirmed, nobody’s ambition is
worth the blood of any Nigerian. The unity, stability
and progress of our dear country is more
important than anything else.
I congratulate all Nigerians for successfully going
through the process of the March 28th General
Elections with the commendable enthusiasm and
commitment that was demonstrated nationwide.
I also commend the Security Services for their role
in ensuring that the elections were mostly peaceful
and violence-free.
To my colleagues in the PDP, I thank you for your
support. Today, the PDP should be celebrating
rather than mourning. We have established a
legacy of democratic freedom, transparency,
economic growth and free and fair elections.
For the past 16 years, we have steered the country
away from ethnic and regional politics. We created
a Pan-Nigerian political party and brought home to
our people the realities of economic development
and social transformation.
Through patriotism and diligence, we have built the
biggest and most patriotic party in Nigerian
history. We must stand together as a party and
look to the future with renewed optimism.
I thank all Nigerians once again for the great
opportunity I was given to lead this country and
assure you that I will continue to do my best at the
helm of national affairs until the end of my tenure.
I have conveyed my personal best wishes to
General Muhammadu Buhari.
May God Almighty continue to bless the Federal
Republic of Nigeria.
I thank you all. GEJ

The prominent Nigerian made his position
known
during the interview with The Guardian
on March 29, Sunday.
“We’re talking about a very positive response
by the public in terms of determination to
register and vote but, you know, this has been
one of the most vicious, unprincipled, vulgar
and violent exercises I have ever witnessed.
“I just hope we won’t go down as being the
incorrigible giant of Africa”
Soyinka continued with recalling the 1993
polls:
“The stakes appear to be so high that all
scruples have been set aside and it’s very
distressing to compare this election with the
election of 1993, which was one of the most
orderly, civilised and resolute elections we
ever
had. This one was like a no-holds-barred kind
of election, especially, frankly, from the
incumbency side. One shouldn’t be too
surprised anyway given the kind of people
who
are manning the barricades for the incumbent
candidate.”
The famous playwright lamented the
huge sums spent on the campaigns by the
parties.
“Most expensive, most prodigal, wasteful,
senseless, I mean really insensitive in
terms of what people live on in this
country.
“This was the real naira-dollar
extravaganza, spent on just subverting,
shall we say, the natural choices of people.
Just money instead of argument, instead of
position statements.
“And of course the sponsoring of violence
in various places, in addition to this
festive atmosphere in which every corner,
every pillar, every electric pole is adorned
with one candidate or the other, many of
them in poses which remind one of
Nollywood.”
Politically active Soyinka also disclosed
that he had been some time ago invited
by President Jonathan to discuss various
issues of national importance and
Jonathan’s possible defeat.
“It was difficult for me to decide from his
side how readily he might accept defeat.
He absolutely swore that if he lost he was
going back to [his home] Otuoke village. If
I take him literally, I think he will accept
the result, but I’ve learned never to trust
any politician from here to there, even if
they’re just coming out of communion. So I
really don’t know.”

Source: http://www.coougist.com/2015/03/professor-soyinka-calls-nigeria.html?m=0

Pls palz advice me.
As I was sleeping yesterday,my mouth was
open,so a rat entered into my mouth to my
stomach. I heard that cats are the main killers of rats, so I bought a cat.

Should I swallow the cat or drink a rat killer to kill
the
rat because it (the rat) is presently playing in my
stomach.

Pls advice me ooo.

I really wish the average Nigerian will understand that THE LAW is the major determinant of who wins this presidential election. It is not necessarily a product of who gets the highest votes.
To be in Aso Rock from May 29th, 2015; either President Jonathan, General Buhari or other minor candidates needs to get the constitutionally mandated 25% of the votes cast in 2/3rd of our 36 states.
Translating this to simple arithmetic, it means winning 25% of the votes cast in 24 states.
This is where reality comes in, staring at Facebook and Twitter and smiling like BabyBlinks while dancing is a waste of time.
President Jonathan by merit, sentiments or 'our son' factor will win in the South East and South South including Rivers State. In those places, the case of President Jonathan is that of "Monkey dey ugly but him mama love am".
Winning the South East and South South will be a total of 11 states from only two geopolitical zones. By simple logic, every keen political observer knows he will win Benue, Plateau, Kogi, Kebbi, Ekiti, Niger. Ondo, Zamfara and Taraba states and all he will need is to be able to catch 25% of the votes cast in some few other Northern states.

Where General Buhari will win like: Kano, Kastina and other states in the North Eastern and North Western states, the General will smile with over 75% of the votes cast.
But Jonathan will still be able to get 25% of the votes in the Northern States more than General Buhari will be able to do in the South.
And this is the biggest problem.
As much as people want CHANGE; I, 'Arthur Flex' lay no claims to any prophetic abilities, but President Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan seems to be going back to Aso Rock. Correct me if I'm wrong.

NEWSPAPER REVIEW, SUNDAY, March 29, 2015

SUNDAY TELEGRAPH
2015 Presidential/National Assembly polls....Shocking outcome;
Car readers fail Jonathan, wife governors, millions of voters;
Voting extended to today;
Bomb blasts rock Enugu polling boot;
PDP chieftain, INEC official 38 others killed in Osun, Lagos, Borno;
INEC website hacked, officials, materials arrive polling stations late;
APC chieftains attacked, arrested in Ekiti, Sokoto, Lagos;
DPO snatches ballot boxes in Niger;
Tough time for banks as economic woes deepen;

THIS DAY
Hitches, Isolated Violence as Nigeria Elects New President Amid Massive Turnout
Trending Pattern in Presidential, National Assembly Elections
Accept Election Outcome, IBB, Abdulsalami Urge Nigerians
Tambuwal: It’s God that Made Election to Hold
Tinubu: FG Plans to Discredit Electoral Device
Afenifere Spokesman: We’re Vindicated by Accreditation Hitches
Mark Worried by Failure of Card Readers
A Time to Renew Faith in Nigeria
Omeri: Boko Haram War Should be Fought by All Nigerians

SUNDAY SUN
Card reader mess;
Large turnout, big frustration,
INEC reverts to manual accreditation, extends voting till today;
VP Sambo in new polling unit;
Buhari defeats Jonathan in Aso Rock;
Boko Haram kills 37 in Borno, Yobe, Gombe;
2 killed, houses burnt in Osun;
Bomb blasts rock Anambra, Enugu;
Faulty Card Readers: INEC extends voting;
Card reader fails to verify Jonathan, wife;

PUNCH
Massive turnout as Nigerians defy rain, sun to vote
Suspected PDP thugs snatch ballot boxes
DPO accused of snatching ballot boxes in Niger
Jonathan’s aide escapes lynching in Kano
Large turnout in Niger, Borno, Nasarawa, Sokoto
Hoodlums shoot, snatch ballot boxes
Voters defy bombing, turn out in large numbers
Amaechi refuses to be accredited…dares soldiers
Scores killed in Rivers, Gombe …as blasts rock Anambra, Enugu

GUARDIAN
Bauchi: Gunmen storm polling unit, set materials ablaze
Elecctions 2015: Voting extended in 300 Nigeria polling stations
Bauchi: Gunmen storm polling unit, set materials ablaze
Elections peaceful in Calabar South
Red Cross Society congratulates Nigerians over peaceful conduct of elections
Bayelsa Gov. dissatisfied with performance of card readers
Card Reader hiccups national embarrassment – PDP
At Nigerian polling stations, tearful reunions and a proposal

NATION
Gunmen storm polling unit, set materials ablaze in Bauchi
Lagos: Voting to be concluded in 5 LGAs on Sunday- REC
APC wins in Sambo’s unit
Presidential election: Nigerians tweet results
Buhari beats Jonathan in Presidential Villa polling units
South West, North favour APC’s Buhari
Kebbi: Thugs snatch ballot box at Dankwambo’s polling unit
Polls: Counting ongoing with mobile lighting in Lugbe
Jega regrets card reader failure at President’s unit
APC chieftain, monarch’s son, and others die in boat accident!

Obinovictor:
How come you already have results when elections are nor yet concluded. You are not helping this country.

As it stands now, it's not the conclusion!

Kaduna — Jonathan 40%, Buhari 60%
Kano: Jonathan 20%, Buhari 80%
Jigawa: Jonathan 45%, Buhari 55%
Katsina: Jonathan 50%, Buhari 50%
Sokoto: Jonathan 20%, Buhari 80%
Kebbi: Jonathan 40%, Buhari 60%
Zamfara: Jonathan 25%, Buhari 75%
Bayelsa: Jonathan 99%, Buhari 1%
Akwa Ibom: Jonathan 96%, Buhari 4%
Rivers: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%
Edo: Jonathan 70%, Buhari 30%
Delta:Jonathan 95%, Buhari 5%
Cross River: Jonathan 97%, Buhari 3%
Ebonyi: Jonathan 95%, Buhari 5%
Abia: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%
Imo: Jonathan 95%, Buhari 5%
Enugu: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%
Anambra: Jonathan 95%, Buhari 5%
Yobe: Jonathan 50%, Buhari 50%
Borno: Jonathan 30%, Buhari 70%
Adamawa: Jonathan 70%, Buhari 30%
Gombe: Jonathan 30%, Buhari 70%
Bauchi: Jonathan 40%, Buhari 60%
Taraba: Jonathan 60%, Buhari 40%
Benue: Jonathan 80%, Buhari 20%
Plateau: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%
Nasarawa: Jonathan 35%, Buhari 65%
Kwara: Jonathan 40%, Buhari 60%
Kogi: Jonathan 80%, Buhari 20%
Niger: Jonathan 70%, Buhari 30%
Ekiti: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%
Ogun: Jonathan 50%, Buhari 50%
Ondo: Jonathan 80%, Buhari 20%
Oyo: Jonathan 60%, Buhari 40%
Lagos: Jonathan 70%, Buhari 30%
Osun: Jonathan 45%, Buhari 55%
Abuja: Jonathan 90%, Buhari 10%

Beloved Nairalanders, d weather forecast for Election Day shows that it will rain, so take your umbrella with you and leave your broom at home. Thank you.

Advice Needed!!
I was on my “own” i heard a knock on
my
Door.
She came into my room i did not say
“anything” She started playing and kising my Lips I
did not say “Anything”
i was on my
“own” o
She now insert something from me in to
her.. I did not say “Anything i was on My own o
After few minutes She started Crying i
did not say anything
When she finished Crying she was now
laughing i kept Quiet i did not say
Anything ……. After Two weeks she said she is
“Pregnant” i did not even know what happen self.
SHE RAPED ME!! now she said she is
Pregnant for Who
I reject it In Jesus name!!
What do you think guys??
(A) i should marry Her
(B) Abort it the
pregnancy
(C) Report to the nearest police
station for “”Raped”
(D) GO for DNA TEST
(E) kill her
(F) Run Away
(G)None of Above
(H)Ask Google??

A pretty and wealthy woman was serving life
sentence in prison.
Angry and resentful about her plight she had
decided that she would rather die than to live
another year in prison.
Over the years she had become good friends
with one of the prison caretakers. His job,
among others,
was to bury those prisoners who died in a
graveyard
just outside the prison walls.
When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a
bell,
which was heard by everyone.
The caretaker then
got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he
entered his office to fill out the death
certificate before returning to the casket to nail
the lid shut. Finally, he
put the casket on a wagon to take it to the
graveyard and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an
escape plan and shared it with the caretaker;
The next time
the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell
and
sneak into the dark room where the coffins
were
kept. She would slip into the coffin with the
dead
body while the caretaker was filling out the
death
certificate..
When the care-taker returned, he would nail
the lid shut and take the coffin outside the
prison with the woman in the coffin along with
the dead body.
He would then bury the coffin. The woman
having pre-arranged with the caretaker for
special vents in the coffin knew there
would be enough air for her to breathe until
later in the evening when the caretaker would
return to the graveyard under the cover of
darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her
free.
She wld also carry along a small flashlight to
cope with the darkness beneath until the hour
of expected freedom.
The caretaker was reluctant to go along with
this plan, but since he and the woman had
become good
friends over the years, and knowing dat he
stands to gain a lot from this pretty and
wealthy woman, he more than agreed to do it.
The woman waited several weeks before
someone in the prison died. She was asleep in
her cell when she
heard the death bell ring.
She got up and slowly walked down the hallway.
She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her
heart was
beating fast. She opened the door to the
darkened
room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in
the
dark, she found the coffin that contained the
dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin
and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker
to come and nail the lid shut.
Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of
the
hammer and nails.
Even though she was very uncomfortable in the
coffin with the dead body, she knew that with
each nail she was one step closer to freedom.
The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken
outside to the graveyard. She could feel the
coffin being lowered into the ground. She
didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the
bottom of the grave with
a thud.
Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top
of
the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was
only a matter of time and she would be free at
last.
After several minutes of absolute silence, she
began to laugh...happily feeling free already
and chanting she was free! she was free!
Feeling curious, she decided to light the
flashlight to find out the identity of the dead
prisoner beside her.
To her horror, she discovered that she was
lying next
to the CARETAKER....her only hope to freedom.
Many people believe they have life all figured
out...that they are well connected and can
arrange and pre-arrange things to their
favour... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out
the
way they planned it.
Think of a 'Plan B'!!!
"I don't know what
tomorrow holds, but I know WHO
holds tomorrow."
The Happiest People Don't Have the Best of
Everything,
They Just Make The Best Of What They
Have...But at times even the BEST FAILS...
Only one thing never fails...GOD.
May he never fail you for sharing this message
with a friend.
God loves us!!

Because Jonathan has allowed every voice to
be heard and RULE OF LAW TO PREVAIL, the
lagos ACN thugs and CPC almajiris claim
Jonathan is “weak”, “clueless” and
“incompetent”. The Jonathan the Lagos ACN
thugs and CPC almajiris claim is “weak”,
“clueless” and “incompetent” has not lost any
Battle till date: he DEFEATED the northern
consensus candidate(Atiku) at the PDP
presidential primary election; he DEFEATED
their masters(Buhari and Bakare) at the
presidential poll; he silently(without hurting a
fly) DETHRONED former governor of Bayelsa
state(Sylva); he ENTHRONED his prefered
candidate(Tukur) as the PDP national
chairman despite opposition from northern
governors; he DISMANTLED Justice Salami
(ACN man); he DISMANTLED the caricature
Farouk subsidy probe panel(which was gang
up by ACN and Tambuwai to discredit
Jonathan); he succeeded in partial removal
(40%) of fuel subsidy(aka pot of corruption);
he DEFEATED the Yar Adua cabal; he is
currently BULLDOZING his way thru a
HISTORIC power sector reforms; and so on
and so forth. In all these SUCCESSES, some
persons may not like the style of GEJ but the
END JUSTIFIES the means. If takes
“weakenss”, “incompetence” and
“cluelessness” to achieve all those including
rising to become the president of the federal
republic, pls I want to be”weak”, “clueless”
and “incompetent” too.

Source;
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=772766932820016&id=100002601488609&refid=17&_ft_

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Why sex talk

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OkwaalaGi

Hi!
After my two-part article on why women have sex,
I received several messages from readers who
were interested in knowing quite the opposite, why
women don’t want to have sex.One guy said if it
was true that women have sex for all the reasons
mentioned, then, they have enough reasons to
have sex almost every day. Another wanted to
know why once married, most women lose interest
in sex and all they do is find excuses for their lack
of interest. He went on to postulate that if women
gave enough sex to their husbands, then they
would be less tempted to cheat on them. I told
him I did not totally agree with that position. How
does one determine the quantity of sex that a
partner needs to be satisfied? Having sex with a
partner every time it is demanded does not mean
that the sex is satisfactory or that it will hold him
down. Even the most beautiful vaginas have been
cheated on and it is hardly all of the time that sex
is the reason for cheating. besides, lack of interest
in sex is not limited to the female partner alone.
Like it or not, men also do lose interest in sex with
their partners and are partly responsible for their
women’s lack of interest in sex sometimes too. I
thought we could run through some of the reasons
women often do not want sex; from the commonly
given reasons to less talked about emotional and
psychological inhibitors.
*Always, communication tops my list in all
relationships. If the communication is good, the
two way channels are open and fluid, there is trust
and honesty on both sides, the first hurdle has
already been conquered. Lack of adequate and
meaningful communication is a key problem in
relationships and it affects both partners. Often
times, couples can’t honestly discuss their sexual
preferences. A number of men force theirs on their
women, while the women find it difficult to turn
them down or insist on how they want the sex
performed. Another common error on the part of
women is that they assume that their man must
figure out how to provide good sex that they will
enjoy without them having to spell things out. We
forget that guys are human and lack the powers to
read minds.
*Medical and psychological issues may often result
in loss of sexual desires. In a study carried out by
Dr. Edward Laumann of the Medical Centre,
University of Chicago which are published in the
New England Journal of Medicine, 47 percent of
women suffer sexual dysfunction compared to 31
percent of men. Also, 43 percent women reported
low libido, 34 percent were unable to reach orgasm
and 39 percent had vagina dryness problems.
Some of the reasons listed for these include
medical conditions such as diabetes, thyroid
disease, anaemia, hormonal disorder, pregnancy
and childbirth, menopause, hysterectomy, Vaginal
disorder such as Vaginismus or Biathlon’s cysts,
lack of sensation due to decrease muscle tone in
the vagina, aging, obesity, or medical problems
that affect the sex hormones, (estrogen and
testosterone) among others. Emotional, physical or
psychological issues such as low self esteem, bad
body image, stressful lifestyle, depression, anxiety
and sexual abuse.
Female sexual dysfunction according to Cindy
Meston, a Psychology Professor from the
University of Texas, is characterised by a lack of
desire, libido and orgasm and it affects about one-
third of women at some point in their lives. Still
wondering why some women often don’t want sex?



The psychological composition of the two sexes
are quite different. Women are more emotionally
involved in sex while it is more physical for men.
While men think about the places to have sex,
women think more about the reasons to have sex.
Sometimes, if a woman is not convinced of the
need to have sex, she is likely to turn a guy down.
God or bad, some women think of sex as a reward
versus punishment process. If the guy has been
good to them, then he deserves a treat, otherwise,
he can stew for a while to get his priorities right.
*This next one might seem over flogged but it is
true nonetheless. The daily routine of life may
sometimes be so overwhelming that sex is
removed off the front burner of important issues of
life.
After all, who has ever paid for goods and services
with sex all the time? Even a prostitute has to part
with money at some point if she wants to get
things done. Pressure from work, taking care of
the children and the house, financial issues and
juggling to make ends meet, family and in-law
pressure all can take its toll on anyone, this time
guys inclusive. God forbid if there are special
challenges involved, eg, a special need child, loss
of job or a medical challenge. Pressure and stress
from these situation often override the need for
sex, which is often seen as a pleasure ride by
women rather than a need.
*Sexual incompatibility is another problem. This
could mean that one partner desires or need to
have sex more often than the other, or one does
not have need for it at all. yes, there are people
who are asexual and have no interest in sexual
activities. It is obvious that sexually incompatible
partners will have problems in their relationship.
Sometimes, a loss of affection might be a reason.
A sexual relationship must be full of intimacy.
There must be regular touching, hugging, kissing,
endearments, gifts, (they don’t have to be
expensive) dates, (even after marriage). Often
times, couple simply settle into a routine after
getting married. For some men, the reason could
be that once the courtship period is over, it is time
to settle into real life situation of home and family
building, the monkey business is over. so, they no
longer create time and attention to do all those
things they did to woo their spouses in the first
place. Women also have been known to become
complacent with their men, believing that with the
ring now on their finger, the man is theirs and
have nowhere to go. The premarital sex and over
flowing show of affection and love was to hook him
to them or negotiate a ring on their fingers.
Though sex might not actually be the most
important part of marriage, it is the oil that
lubricates the wheel that moves a relationship and
so, its importance cannot be undermined.
Sex may not become a problem until one of the
partners begin to complain about it.
Do have a lovely day!

Looking for some fun ways to add romance to your
relationship? Try these creative romance tips:

1. Give your lover a dozen roses—with a
creative twist. Give eleven red roses and one
white rose. Attach a note that reads: “In
every bunch there’s one who stands out—
and you are that one.”

2. Get your partner a wristwatch. Inscribe it
with: “I always have time for you.”
Attach a 100 bill or giftcard to a Victoria’s
Secret catalog, along with a note to him
saying, “You choose.”

3. Identify that one pivotal event that brought
the two of you together. Celebrate that event
every year.

4. Practice even-day/odd-day romance: On
even days it’s your turn to be romantic, and
on odd days it’s your partner’s turn.

5. Following a bubble bath you’ve prepared for
her, wrap her in a towel that you’ve warmed
up in the dryer.

6. Write your partner a love letter or poem on
one sheet of paper. Glue it to thin cardboard,
cut it up into puzzle-shaped pieces, then
mail all the pieces. Or, mail one puzzle piece
per day!

7. Remove all the paper strips (that say
“Kisses” on them) from a couple hundred
Hershey’s Kisses. Fill a jewelry box with
them. Wrap ‘em up and present them to
your partner. Write a certificate explaining
that the slips are coupons redeemable for
one kiss each.

8. Doesn’t your partner deserve a trophy for
being the “World’s Best Lover”? Trophy
shops have a wealth of ideas waiting for
you. Just think of the romantic possibilities
of plaques, medals, ribbons, nameplates,
certificates and banners. And they all can be
personalized, engraved, lettered or
monogrammed.

1. There is life after black and white
Granted, Coco Chanel cemented the LBD as the
must-have item in every woman’s wardrobe.
Despite her love of black, she also said, “The best
colour in the whole world is the one that looks
good on you.” This is not to say that everyone has
to ditch their black and white items entirely but
rather add a cheerful burst of colour to your look.
A punchy red bag or vibrant yellow scarf will do.
Octavia Ephraim, the founder of Octapear Image
Consulting in Pretoria, says “Don’t get rid of all the
‘wrong’ colours in your wardrobe; just wear the
right colours closer to your face or from the waist
up.”

2. Wear happy clothes
Just like that dress you wore to a disastrous event
remains hidden at the back of your closet; the
sundress that you bought five Decembers ago
while on honeymoon gets a regular outing. Why?
Simple! It reminds you of a happy time. Australia’s
University of Queensland did research and found
that quite a few participants mentioned that they
used clothing to change or boost their mood. “If
they get up and aren’t feeling great, they would put
on something that would brighten them up.” As if
we needed research to tell us that!

3. Go green (The Beloved Prophet, pbuh’s
favourite colour)
The Vrije Universiteit in Amsterdam has found that
green puts you, and everyone who sees you
dressed in the punchy colour, in a good mood
because of its close association with nature. It is
uplifting in the same way as a brief respite out of
doors, making it the colour to wear if you need to
improve your mental acuity.

4. Pick me up, buttercup
Psychologically, yellow is the colour that has the
strongest effect when it comes to boosting
confidence and making us feel more optimistic.
That said, yellow is also associated with anxiety
and you may want to use it in moderation – it has
been found to make babies cry!

5. Think pink, or red
Imagine a flash of fuchsia or red in a sea of black.
A striking image, is it not? That’s because shades
of pink and red, like orange and yellow, are warm,
energizing colours. This applies to lipstick too!
Spruce up your look and boost your mood by
adding a smudge of colourful lipstick paired with a
brightly coloured statement piece. When you’re
feeling down and boring, pack away your neutral
shades of lipstick and go for something pink or
red. It won’t just perk you up, it will also change
the way that other people respond to you.
Octapear’s Ephraim emphasises that the clothes
you choose to wear will make an impression if you
concentrate on visualization: “Imagine how you
would like others to react when you enter a room,
and then work to achieve that.” In other words,
fake it till you make it!

Hit like if you support we lecturers, choose wisely...

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Does it mean Naija no dey practice true love?

S3x can be intimate, but more often than not it isn’t. Intimacy is closeness, and although we certainly get physically close during s3x, mentally we can be miles apart.

True intimacy relies on knowledge — on knowing people just as well, if not better, than they know themselves.

It’s not difficult for men to become
more intimate with their women.
Not as difficult as one might think… but you are going to have to make the effort. Here are a few things you’ll want to try:

1. Tell her she’s beautiful.

There is no shortage of men who are willing to compliment women on a daily basis. The difference between them and you, however, is that
when you tell the woman you love that she's beautiful, it isn’t with ulterior motives.
You don’t tell a thousand women whatever they want to hear just to sleep with them. You are telling the woman you love that, in that moment, she is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
When a woman knows you find her so positively stunning — inside and out — she’ll never have to worry about you straying or your feelings faltering. Trust is the most intimate thing two people can share.

2. Write her a love letter.

There’s plenty that can be said without words, but every woman wants to hear how much you love
her. Give her a physical thing that she can go back and reference whenever she misses you or feels
uncertain of your love, and she’ll feel much more secure — and happier.
You don’t have to be a good writer to write a good love letter. Just put into words — the best you can — why she means the world to you. Don’t type it; write it by hand so that when she looks at the words, she feels that it’s you who wrote them.

3. Take a vacation together.

One of the best ways to become more intimate with your lover, to get to know and understand her more deeply, is to take a long trip together. Not just a weekend — two weeks minimum.
Intimacy is all about getting close to the other, and there is no better way to understand a woman better than to throw yourselves into an irregular or uncommon situation.
People are very good at keeping up façades when they’re feeling comfortable, when they're surrounded by familiar surroundings.
Take that individual and place her in the middle of the unknown, the inexperienced, and you get to see
her at her most intimate and basic levels — the level at which she is forced to take in novel information and then use that information to make real time judgements and decisions.

4. Take care of her when she’s sick and allow her to take care of you when you’re sick.

If you want to become more intimate with your partner, then you are going to have to accept her, not only at her best, but also at her worst. I’m
sorry ladies, but no woman — or man for that matter — looks good when she’s coughing up a
lung. When your woman is sick, she is — quite literally — at her most vulnerable. Think about the way you
feel and act when you physically feel horrible. I'd bet my life that you aren’t the jolly, pleasant person you usually are. That’s why letting her see you when you’re at your most vulnerable is also extremely intimate. You can see how far she’s willing to go for you, and how much of you you’re willing to show.

5. Sleep with her (without having s3x).

It’s easy to share a bed with a woman, whether you love her or not. The harder part is not making a move when the beautiful woman next to you says she isn’t ready or she isn’t in the mood. Embracing a woman tenderly with no intention of
taking it further means your feelings extend past the normal libidinal urges you suffer from.
Cuddling a woman because you love her means needing to be close to her because it makes you happy.
This kind of happiness lasts more than a night — it lasts for a lifetime.

6. Stare into each other’s eyes for extended periods of time.

There is little in the world that makes us feel more uncomfortable than extended periods of eye
contact. They say that the eyes are the windows to our souls — and I don’t think they, whomever they
may be, are wrong. Looking deep into your lover’s eyes most likely
won’t show you her deepest inner secrets, but it will show you how comfortable the two of you are
with each other.
The longer you’re able to stare, the more comfortable the two of you are. If you want to break down whatever barriers are left in your relationship, focus on more eye contact.

7. Meet the family.

A person is not just a person. She’s a combination of all the people she was influenced by growing up — primarily, her family. We base all
our relationships in life on the relationships we have with our family members.
They are our oldest relationships, and because we formed them in our earliest years, they greatly shaped the way we perceive interpersonal
interaction and relationships.

Culled from www.coougist.com