₦airaland Forum

I'm so speechless.. Goddammit girl, you sure can write. your command of the English language is so unreal for a non-native speaker.

I feel a bit sad reading your master piece, for free. I genuinely would be happy to pay to read it.

I pray a publisher comes across this piece.

Keep it up.

[HE SHOULD APOLOGISE TO DON JAZZY AND GO BACK TO HIM,

HE MADE FAR BETTER MUSIC WHEN HE WAS WITH HIM,

I BELIEVE DON JAZZY ALSO PRODUCED HIS GREATEST HIT, "OLIVER TWIST"


PRIDE REALLY COMES BEFORE A FALL.

This New MOD, are you literate at all? do you understand the meaning of debate ; having different opinion ?

How on earth could this warrant a ban ?

macjive01:

Of course there will always be the geographical space called Lagos, however understand what makes Lagos is not the land but the activities of the residents, of which the Igbos contribute immensely to its development.

As someone rightfully pointed out to you, the economic development in lagos is very dynamic, it could easily evaporate with hostility and policies, if you doubt me, google Detriot, and see what it is today.

Yorubas like to highlight that they are hospitable as they sell land to igbos to build their investments on, however, they fail to acknowledge the altruistic values of the developer , who left his own land to invest in another man's land,no doubt for better returns, yet other tribes wouldn't dare it even for the better returns.

Forget Lagos, in every city in Nigeria there are billions of Igbo investment, in real estate and physical structures, companies. Hausas are as well in every city selling Forex, however, no matter how rich the Aboki is, he will never buy his own house, its either rent or live in the mosque.


so think Twice before you taunt the Igbo with their developments in Lagos.

@nardwire, that's quite harsh saying the Childs life/death and future is in my hands. NGO don't make decisions for anybody even if they re incapacitated- that's why we have next of kin, we only make suggestions and subsequently help guild you thru the decision you/ or your next of kin have made.

Anyway there is a good news on this case.

We got a call sometime last week and were told that the accused (the uncle- that's what the victim calls him) has talked his wife into staying back in American and letting him get back to Nigeria to handle the issue more "manly".

The victim is comfortable with the idea anyway, so that takes some pressure off of us.

Cheers

sorry friend was so busy over the weekend that i couldnt make an update.

The victim came to the office on friday, No, not really rather we got a call on friday from the accused ( the victim's in-law) he wanted us to speak to his wife. when the wife came on line there was so much tension and anxiety over the line firstly she wanted to know wat happen and how we got involved, i took my time and narrated everything to her on my managers urging, then processed to tell her our plans and what we have tried to work out with her husband and sister, at this point i regreted begin the person handling this case, this lady virtual erupted, her voice rising, the telephone cradle was even shaking i was terrified. she shouted and threw curses at her sister, she even made threats.

anyway, she doesnt want us to involve the police- apparently she is protecting her husband.

she has made arrangements for the husbands mother to come look after her children and wants her sister to leave her house immediately.

she told us she was cutting short her trip to come handle the issue.

At this point we sent a message out to the victim to report to the office. she did came and we sat her down and explained everything to her, Guess what ? she got up uttered a profanity and said she wasnt leaving the house till the accused " settles" her and her "baby" ( still unborn tho), she reminded us that she was the one despoiled and the accused has to pay for it. on that she stormed out of our office.


My manager was present and heard the converstaion, she then demanded i contact the police since the victim's sister had made a threat and the victim is been refractory, so the police has been notified in an unofficial capacity so they would not be making arrests or investigating, just to have a police patrol around the house for the first week her sisters come back from America, and be ready to make a call at the house on short notice.

Also, we have opened a back channel with the victim's inlaw unknown to the wife to quickly secure his consent and some fund to proceed to resettle the victim.

the victim has giving us the go-ahead to contact one of her friends, so we re hoping to work with her and convince the victim to go for an abortion or at least a resettlement in Nigeria.

Thanks for for comments its so good knowing wat people think about a situation and helps guide one to make good all round decision.

whoa! why re u guy going hard on me? the story is in anonymous mode. NGO or any institution have policies of which I'm nt breaking, i have nt  revealed anything that could suggest i'm selling my client out.

when a case get to an NGO, the NGO assigns it to an officer then it becomes the obligation of the officer to research and make consultations with the client and provide suggestion  which is debated during weekly meeting and approved. eg i have made suggestion of contacting the girls (our clients) family, her mother especially but i was told to withhold that for now.

my office (the NGO) has 25 officer but handling over 6000 cases at the moment though a good few are straight forward cases; divorcee guidance and married counselling.   

we re allowed to post cases on forum as long as clients identity, the NGO, and the story line is distorted enuf to protected all involved.

@ odunnu, i dont have to necessary do or suggest to my office wat folks say here but it is actually better and helps in decision making knowing what people think or would do if they find themselves in the situation .

@chaircover, every case is different, a standard procedure that has worked in 99 cases might nt work in the 100th one. u wud agree with me on this, right?
why the case is cumbersome is becos
1. our client wouldnt accept the option of abortion. if she was to accept to abort the preg tmrw, thats it!!, the arrangement wud be made and within a week the case wud be closed. mayb weekly or monthly checks till her sis comes back.

2. she wouldn't accept to move to a neighbouring state to give birth. her recalcitrant is mking is real difficult.

3. her sister is pregnant. if she wasnt pregnant, ofcourse by now she wud hav been involved in it.

1 n 2 re our standard practice but its nt working in this case, my fault

sorry guys i promised to update the house promptly, anyway our client didn't turn up for her appointment on Friday, on Saturday we went to her house but nobody would open the gate for us so we re in a little fix or would i say dilemma cos we should at this point contact the police but the uncle in America wouldn't have it so we are demanding he provide some other person to take care of those kids becos, im sorry to say this, but i don't think and our agency doesn't think our client is in anyway capable to look after those kids with the situation her in-law has gotten her into.

so hopefully by early next week we hope to have in the affirmative good response.

thanks for ur contribution wud still let u know of our further actions.

Dear moderator cud u kindly move this topic to the front page for couple of days please, I really wish I could get some more views on this. Thank you

Thank you folks for ur suggestions our office have decided to toe the line of majority of the nairaland suggestion of involving her parents and revealing it to the wife so that there could b a more serious discussion abt it by the parties however that line came against a rock today.

Our victim came to the office today and handed us her uncles number of which we proceeded to phone him, we told him who we are and our involvement in it. At first he didn't want to talk rather shouting and casting aspertion on us. Anyway after a while reality done on him, he became quiet n demanded that by NO chance should the wife or his in-laws be told of the situation he then accepted to foot the bill if our victim would have an abortion, of which our victim sharply refused, after much haggling he then accepted to foot the bill for resettlement of the victim. However the twist continued.

Our victim became recalcitrant after she had spoken to him over the phone and blantantly refused to b resettled in Ogun state.  She prefers Canada.

Here is the problem;

1. Our agency would only solicitate for a visa for a victim in the only occasion her life would be in danger if she continues residing in her present location and her case has become known to everybody, of which is not the case in her's.

2. The uncle phone afterward and is now doubting that he is even responsible; in otherwords he is hinting that there could be someone else.

3. I had to book her in again for sometime this week to give us some time to make proper consultations. I'm sincerely dumb-founded. Pls folks what could we do? I'm really out of ideas, n constrained by her difficulty to compromise.

I really appreciate ur suggestion n comments. Hope to get more tho.
Cheers

Thank you folks for your suggestions our office have decided to toe the line of majority of the nairaland suggestion of involving her parents and revealing it to the wife so that the could b a more serious discussion abt it by the parties however that line came against a rock .

Osama10:
One question for her, If this didn't result in pregnancy would she ever speak of this at all.

I know she was enjoying the whole game(stolen meat is always the sweetest)while it lasted.

He did it the first time, second time, third time and fourth time, but you were planted firmly in the house, what happened to your legs?

You said also you were taking your bath and you left your bathroom door unlocked,woman a lot holes in this story.

sorry mate saying that is a bit mean, its very easy to lay blames on her bt forgetting that the uncle is a rich man who could even have threatened her with all sorts of carnage if she doesn't cooperate. in these times the victim would be innocently hoping for the ground to swallow her up, she would be weak so weak to think straight and right. someone mention postinor, its true there re after morning pills but in her state of debile she must have forgotten, it does happen.

Osama10:
You have spoken well.

hi dear i think u hv spoken really well but how about if she is taken away to somewhere else ie a neighbouring state; Ogun state, then have her give birth to the baby then the baby could be taken away from her to some charity or home/ adoption center. The victim could afterwards be provided with some fund for her to re-establish herself back into the society- this money would b largely squeezed out from her uncle and the agency as well, get a flat for her and a means of transportation and a good paying job.

The scar would always be there but i believe if the victim could be made comfortable then she could forgive the uncle and possibly forget this dark page of her life and move on.

@ ivyman, in as much as I believe ur sincerity to help the lady in question, I wish I cud but I'm afraid I am nt allowed to, u know how NGO's works my manager is aware I did post the story here as long as no detail of the NGO or our client is revealed. The story is in anonymous. We sincerely seek for advice to help her out, we hv her coming to the office next week( can't say the day) by then we expect her to have gone past the crying stage n be ready to make a decision from a number of ideas we hope to present to her base on the gud pple of nairaland's advice. Thank u folks.

hello my name is Arun i work for an NGO here in lagos that deals with marriages and relationships issues, for confidentiality demand l wouldn't be disclosing the name.

we got a case yesterday a young beautiful lady walked into our office pleading for help and crying her eyes out, she said she is pregnant for her sister's husband.

i will try to narrate her ordeal in a first person mode.

"i am a 33 years old female, a graduate of management and currently looking for a job in the financial and investment banking sector."

"The problem started when i moved in with my younger sister who was pregnant to help her out while same time i would have easier access to the financial district in Lagos to look for a job.
when i moved in it was OK, then i began to notice her husband (her sister's husband) always looking at me funny. then he started giving me a lot more gift than usual, i was sceptical but i innocently thought it could be because i was working real hard helping out.
then my sister's belly got bigger and more noticeable the husband got a visa for her to travel to America to give birth there so her son would become an American on birth. on my sister leaving for USA she urged me to stay back at her house so i could properly look after her other two kids because her house help was a young girl as well, i refused ooh ( I'm trying to capture her emotion) but she assured me it will be fine since her husband's brother who was staying in the house as well would shortly be leaving for the UK for his Masters and her husband would be joining her in America soonest since he has already got his Visa."


"When my sis left, uncle starting showing appreciation of my work even the more, i was really happy he was noticing my effort because looking after those kids are not easy. he was buying mostly general stuffs and cash nothing personal or suggestive, just things like recharge cards, black berry phone, money to make hair and shopping for myself and the kids, but he started holding my shoulders whenever he was speaking - not holding me like a gf it was more like placing his hand on a shoulder yet i was really uncomfortable with it. After some time he then frighten me, he started touching and having his hand brush past the down of my back whenever he walked past me, i became angry and paranoid about it then made sure i hit his hand off, i made sure that his hand didn't linger there for long.

"However the moment Kelvin ( that would be the husband's brother) travelled out to Liverpool for his study i notice a new character in uncle. he began very very playful. so oneday after i had taken the kids to school came back home and was to get ready for my job hunting, i was soaking my self in the bathtub in my room ( the bedroom i presume is an en-suite) i heard my bedroom door squeak open, on that moment i hastily got out from the tub to lock the bathroom door but uncle jumped at me. "

"i resisted and even wrestled him but because i was naked and my body still had foams on it and was slippery i couldn't stand firm on the ground uncle , sobbing, then overwhelmed me."

[ after the above encounter i found out from her that her "uncle" further took advantage of her on four other occasions]

Now, her uncle has travelled out of the country to USA to meet up with his wife, our victim has now found out that she is pregnant. she is positive is her uncle because she hasn't slept with any other person in six months.

The victim phone her uncle telling him about the outcome but she said the uncle, strangely i would say, shouted her down, called her names and threatened to tell his wife ( i really wonder what he hopes to tell his wife) .

Anyway the problem now is :

1. The victim is a catholic Christian who frown upon abortion

2. The victim wouldn't be able to leave the house for somewhere else where she would avoid the public eyes and covertly give birth because there are kids entrusted to her care.

3. The victim wouldn't have the NGO involve the Nigerian Police - don't forget the uncle took advantage of her and to my knowledge that is tantamount to a rape.

4. The Victim strangely doesn't want her sister to be in the know about the incident(s).

pls nairalander what best could she do, she is really in so much pain and anguish i watched her bite open her lips with her own teeth.