“Don’t let the opinions of the average sway you.

Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy.

Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky.

Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy.

Pay no attention.

He simply doesn’t understand.”

• Robert G. Allen





It sucks, doesn’t it?

It’s plenty of stress and it sucks.

There never seems to be a valid explanation for why it has to be so hard for one to achieve, most especially when it’s very easy to do some counting on our fingers and toes (and still need some more) how many people have been able to attain those same heights.

It can be very frustrating, especially when you start to count the costs (and/or loss).

Your time invested, the money, the resources.

But why do things turn out this way anyway?

Why does it turn out to be extremely tough when we head out to achieve our set goals?
While there is no one specific answer, here are just a few of the biggest reasons I’d like to think are super important factors and what we can do about them.



Five Big Reasons You Can’t Seem To Achieve Those Goals



5. For most of us today, we have one general ideology that we carry around with us:

It is close to impossible to get to the highest of the high spots without having someone up there already, pulling some strings and pulling us up.
If you subscribe to this mentality, I can assure you that it becomes even tougher to achieve those goals.

Why?
You naturally and automatically become inclined to looking for this “Higher Grounds” Person.

You force yourself to believe your best bet is to cling to this source, consciously or unconsciously.

Your actions and your every move is aimed at owning this Person and residing at the place of good standing no matter the cost.
You put in more effort on this than even on the main objective.

Before I started this site, I thought I needed to operate on that line.

Not necessarily the big influencers but other friends I though I would need to rely on.

Somewhere along the line, I realized how much I was sprinkling weakness over my strengths by thinking that was the best I could do for myself.

Because you know what,guys?

People aren’t seeing the dreams you’re seeing.
No one would be half as much in love with your passion as you.

Most of them won’t understand!
People will disappoint you.
You cannot afford to give yourself the permission to operate on such a low level.

And also because when for some reason this urgently needed, very important personality isn’t exactly at your reach, panic creeps in.
Bitterness and anger for how society is structured creeps in.

Desperation creeps in.

Depression creeps in.

It’s harder to not want to throw in the towel.
Now while there is a certain amount of advantage that comes with knowing a specific someone who knows a specific someone, that usually isn’t enough.

And because it usually isn’t enough, that isn’t the only staircase to getting up the ladder.



“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”
― Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out



For no reason as insignificant as you not “knowing somebody” should you even consider yourself as anything close to not enough.

Let go of inferiority complex.

You have the potentials.

The probabilities of you achieving are right there.

You not having those connections doesn’t place you automatically in the failure category, believing not having the connection places you in that category, places you in that category.

That wasn’t too complicated,was it?



4. Lazy Lazy Lazy



LemonsLemonade.com, sleeping, laziness, achieve your goals, how to

Most of us are lazy.
Let’s admit it.

Hardwork is a lot of hard work and sometimes we just feel so lazy.
We put in a bit of effort here, and we want to take a break equivalent to the amount of time we worked.
It’s hard to get things off the ground this way at the beginning stage.
Today’s world is busy.
Everybody has a sort of burden, an occupation of some sort, a family, relationships to manage, bills to cover, plenty to worry about, complex,noisy lives to live through.
Unless you are willing to sit on their faces (not literally), nobody (cancel) nobody worthwhile is going to notice your little butt.
It won’t be enough to want something, whatever it is.

You had to fight for it.

You have to chase it relentlessly.

You have to stalk it around.
Sounds tough?
Exactly! It’s why the gap between the Successful and the Unsuccessful is evident and fat.
If your aim is something that a lot of others around are equally aiming for, you can bet that nobody is going to just toss it to you.
And when I say you have to work and really work towards those goals, I’m not talking of working hard.

I’m talking working smart.
This even applies for the first reason listed above;
Sometimes those people we look at as having made it through connections weren’t all born with those connections as their Fathers and their Uncles.
They didn’t all suck up to somebody or play dirty or kiss someone’s butt to go up that ladder.
For a good number, it was smart work.
If you feel you need to hog on somebody else or wait till you get discovered, wait till you find that “Perfect Opportunity”, wait till someone looks your way with pity, you are only wasting the time.
Work.
Which leads to the next point;



3. Network.
We have no competition outside of our dear selves.

Do you think you can remember that?

I hope so.

Try to.
So when we come across opportunities to meet with others in our fields, the ones who’ve been in the game longer and yes, even the ones living our dreams, sweetheart network.
Networking is so powerful.

And it’s so unpredictable that’s what makes it extra powerful.
It could be as easy as being around the right people in the right circle at the right time.

Outcomes are endless.
It could spring up from rubbing minds with someone you never have before.
On it’s own, it’s a wonderful teacher, and it could be a unique source of fresh ideas, inspirations and partnership.
Now, would everyone want to network with you?

Nope.

Is that your problem?

Nope.
But like Drey Barrymore said:

“There’s something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself.

Risk.”

halloween, LemonsLemonade.com, take risks, how to, achieve goals



2. Follow This Path, And Then That Part
Try something new.

Most of us aren’t exactly excited with the idea of change.

Ever.
Especially when we have found a spot that has come to become our comfort zone.

Even if it’s not gushing out rewards, a trickle comes in every now and then.
But we forget that if we choose to be satisfied with trickles that come in when we stumble on some luck, even though there is a possibility that that trickle could open up some more, it could also wind down.
And it winding down would be faster than opening up.

Try another approach.

Go the alternative way.

Think of a new method.
There is a chance nothing big pops up from it and there is a chance something really massive does.
It’s a chance worth taking.



1. Patience
Patience because sometimes, that’s all that’s missing from the equation.
We know countless of success stories that started off from literally nothing.
There is Tyler Perry, who had a rough time growing up, attempted suicide twice, failed miserably at his first Production and it wasn’t until six years later that he landed his first big break.
Six years people.
Listed in Forbes as highest paid Entertainer in 2011.
Not six months.

Not sixteen months.

How many have that much strength to keep going and keep fighting and keep giving so much for that much time?

Do you?
People always have the question of how much patience one should keep before throwing in the towel.

Again, though Tyler Perry was carrying out odd jobs during that period of time for survival, he didn’t forget his dreams.

Talk about balancing act.
Personally, I’d like to think you can’t exactly quantify how much of patience you should possess.
You can’t generalize it to cover all sort of situations.
You can’t say: “Everyone should pursue an idea or a psssion for X number of years and if they don’t succeed, theu’re better off dumping it aside and facing the teal world”.
No.
Unless your goal comes with a time limit attached naturally, don’t fix one yourself.
We can only meet success if we’re patience enough for her to turn up.

Perseverance is key.

Gratitude for the little achievements is key.

Slowly,but surely.

Culled from LemonsLemonade.com

☺ Thank you so much
Yeah, I do practice them
I'm not an expert at it but I make conscious effort to live by it

“I have no faith in human perfectibility. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active – not happier – nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago”.

 

 

° Edgar Allan Poe.

 

 

 

Ah, The Perfectionism Syndrome.

Who hasn’t been infected with it at one point or another in our respective lives?
That’s where the real problem lies if you haven’t, really.
And of course, that’s where it starts too.

 

Plus, it’s pretty contagious. Everyone and everything’s been ringing it in our ears for, forever!
Perfect Grades, Perfect Skin, Perfect Job, Perfect Ranking, Perfect Skills, Perfect House, Perfect Car... This is an endless list for us all.

 

We pursue perfections that are most desirable to us individually.
We lay hands on some rather quickly (or so we believe), others take a longer time, and a couple just love to taunt us like that spider that sits quite comfortably on the roof, looking down on us, knowing we won’t be coming any close for a good while.

 

Unfortunately, it’s not so hard to get swallowed up in the scheme to achieve perfection in an aspect of one’s life that it develops into a full-blown obsession.
After all, who doesn’t want to be at the top? I bet we all do.
Respected and recognized and accomplished and all the bonus packages that come along with it.

 

Pretty appealing. I know.

 

However when we let things escalate to that point,  we cannot help but lose ourselves in it.
It’s hard to not unconsciously bring yourself to the place of becoming uncomfortable due to the comfort you already anticipate, hanging out a couple of blocks ahead.

 

Is it great to get yourself to get uncomfortable to want to move out of the stagnant situation you are in and towards where you should be? Yup.

 

Is it great to not be in a stagnant position and get yourself to be uncomfortable that you can’t teleport yourself already to the spot you’re dying to get to? Not really, no.

 

Now, putting in those extra efforts make the difference no doubt, but sprinkle a bit too much salt in your soup and you just might succeed in running over the thin line between “just right” and “way overboard”.

 



It’s the problem with perfectionists.
They never do as much as they have the potential to.
Why? Because they always strive to over-do the ones they do do.
Why? Because taking risks, not getting it how they want it when they want it, failing, has become absolutely terrifying.
Presenting themselves as “half-baked” to the world? It’ll be like dying a thousand deaths in their head.

Just like Brene Brown said: “Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life.
Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. Infact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
The Gifts Of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be And Embrace Who You Are.

 

Here’s one thing I consciously remind myself, and I recommend you do too:
It’s fine to be not-quite-there-yet sometimes.
It’s not the most awesome thing, obviously no, but it’s perfectly okay.
As long as continuous advancement is occurring, it’s fine.
Quick question now; (that’s not rhetorical and probably not so quick), have you ever found yourself in a situation where you over-analyzed something for so long, it all of a sudden looks like crap?
And not just the normal kind of crap, but the “What the heck was I even thinking. Was I even thinking” kind of crap.

You were so sure it had achieved series of pass marks to a good extent, but then after dwelling on it some more, the entire thing suddenly started looking like a totally bad idea?

Stared at a selfie for so long, dragged the project back and forth for so long, dissected that essay or article for so long, because you wanted it to be “just right?”
Been there too, haven’t you?

Now here’s the one answer to this blog post:

To get to the place of Perfection is an ever continuous journey.

And yes, this journey can be enjoyed.

This journey should most definitely be enjoyed.

So relax already, will you?



A major problem a good number of us face is that we keep our eyes glued to those major goals of ours every single second we don’t know how to do anything else.
We tend to compare ourselves with the life of others that seem to be “doing big” and better than we are and we want to forge ahead, only because we’ve become bothered by what we see.

In this journey towards that which is perfect, there really is no final destination.
Because you know that popular saying—No one is perfect?
That still hasn’t changed unfortunately.
Meaning, believe it or not, there is absolutely always room for improvement, and this applies to anyone and anything and everything.

 

It’s why Apple keeps increasing their phone sizes and announcing latest updates for more efficient operating systems and we keep purchasing and purchasing.
Because things can always do and be better.
And so to even believe you can achieve a point of total perfection is in fact, to an extent, limiting how far better things can actually still get.

However, hold on, I’m not done here.

Have you heard a person go “This is just perfect for me” or “This was exactly what I wanted?”

That’s because somewhere along the line, in this quest towards perfection, you, and no one else mind you, ultimately possess the ability to choose your self-determined bus-stop.
The point you choose to get off and dwell at.
How long you stay there is also yours to decide.

 

You determine your happy place where you can say with all certainty: “Yes, this is it, yes, I couldn’t possibly want anything else” or “I don’t think I need to go any further. Plus, this spot I’ve put in effort to reach is pretty good”.

 

And you know what? Good for you.
The mistake you can make it to let people, circumstances or your environment determine this.
Or hold you back from even starting.

 

We all have different views on what the perfect whatever should look like, be like, turn out like.
If you choose to let society force it’s ever changing general view on what success or perfection should appear like, you’d put yourself in the position of just going around in circles.

 

 

So defining these things yourself is crucial.
Don’t see the world and let it push you around and under. Don’t let it force you into pursuing everything blindly.



Like one of my favourite quotes by Yohji Yamamoto goes: ‘’I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorder, distortion”.

Don’t feel threatened by the sometimes polluted ideologies it keeps pushing at every one of us daily.

 

Ideologies that if you aren’t a millionaire in your 20’s, you’re bound to be a failure and poor and unhappy and your kids will suffer for it.
Ideologies that you cannot be considered beautiful if you aren’t “picture perfect”.
Ideologies that you have to be a straight A achiever, with the highest IQ student, to be successful and get the best offers you can possibly get after college.

It’s why everyone is walking around with anxiety written all over faces, blood pressures rising faster than the economy situation, jealousy, anger, malice, ruling in social circles all over.

 

So no matter how further and relentlessly you can choose to keep going on in that journey of yours, just move with the knowledge that there is no brick wall at the end.
It is not a race and you decide how your journey looks like.

The possibilities are endless.

 

With you evolving. Learning. Advancing.

You are allowed to take your time and move at your pace.

 

Wrapping this all up, obviously this post is definitely not to discourage you from aiming towards the highest heights.
I bet no one would even take me seriously if I said that.

Rather, it’s to infect you with the understanding that everything can always be better than they are, no matter how good they look already, and so your ultimate goal should be to be fuelled with desire to move from the point you are presently, not get overly engrossed about all the zillion of levels you could be in.

So work towards perfection, don’t be mediocre.

There are more than enough of those kinds of people already, and when you do work towards perfection, chances are that with time, you always keep going closer and closer (cancel) further and further.

And a step behind was where you once stood.

 

However, set your standards for yourself by yourself, enjoy the stages you get to, celebrate each one--it's an accomplishment!

And when those standards truly becomes standard, you have every right in the world to decide to stop worrying about anything else.
And to pick up again, whenever you so wish to.

 

Remember, you call the shots.

So go out there.
And one step after the last, don’t forget to be as awesome as you choose to be.

Culled from LemonsLemonade.com

“I have no faith in human perfectibility. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active – not happier – nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago”.

 

 

° Edgar Allan Poe.

 

 

 

Ah, The Perfectionism Syndrome.

Who hasn’t been infected with it at one point or another in our respective lives?
That’s where the real problem lies if you haven’t, really.
And of course, that’s where it starts too.

 

Plus, it’s pretty contagious. Everyone and everything’s been ringing it in our ears for, forever!
Perfect Grades, Perfect Skin, Perfect Job, Perfect Ranking, Perfect Skills, Perfect House, Perfect Car... This is an endless list for us all.

 

We pursue perfections that are most desirable to us individually.
We lay hands on some rather quickly (or so we believe), others take a longer time, and a couple just love to taunt us like that spider that sits quite comfortably on the roof, looking down on us, knowing we won’t be coming any close for a good while.

 

Unfortunately, it’s not so hard to get swallowed up in the scheme to achieve perfection in an aspect of one’s life that it develops into a full-blown obsession.
After all, who doesn’t want to be at the top? I bet we all do.
Respected and recognized and accomplished and all the bonus packages that come along with it.

 

Pretty appealing. I know.

 

However when we let things escalate to that point,  we cannot help but lose ourselves in it.
It’s hard to not unconsciously bring yourself to the place of becoming uncomfortable due to the comfort you already anticipate, hanging out a couple of blocks ahead.

 

Is it great to get yourself to get uncomfortable to want to move out of the stagnant situation you are in and towards where you should be? Yup.

 

Is it great to not be in a stagnant position and get yourself to be uncomfortable that you can’t teleport yourself already to the spot you’re dying to get to? Not really, no.

 

Now, putting in those extra efforts make the difference no doubt, but sprinkle a bit too much salt in your soup and you just might succeed in running over the thin line between “just right” and “way overboard”.

 



It’s the problem with perfectionists.
They never do as much as they have the potential to.
Why? Because they always strive to over-do the ones they do do.
Why? Because taking risks, not getting it how they want it when they want it, failing, has become absolutely terrifying.
Presenting themselves as “half-baked” to the world? It’ll be like dying a thousand deaths in their head.

Just like Brene Brown said: “Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life.
Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. Infact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
The Gifts Of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be And Embrace Who You Are.

 

Here’s one thing I consciously remind myself, and I recommend you do too:
It’s fine to be not-quite-there-yet sometimes.
It’s not the most awesome thing, obviously no, but it’s perfectly okay.
As long as continuous advancement is occurring, it’s fine.
Quick question now; (that’s not rhetorical and probably not so quick), have you ever found yourself in a situation where you over-analyzed something for so long, it all of a sudden looks like crap?
And not just the normal kind of crap, but the “What the heck was I even thinking. Was I even thinking” kind of crap.

You were so sure it had achieved series of pass marks to a good extent, but then after dwelling on it some more, the entire thing suddenly started looking like a totally bad idea?

Stared at a selfie for so long, dragged the project back and forth for so long, dissected that essay or article for so long, because you wanted it to be “just right?”
Been there too, haven’t you?

Now here’s the one answer to this blog post:

To get to the place of Perfection is an ever continuous journey.

And yes, this journey can be enjoyed.

This journey should most definitely be enjoyed.

So relax already, will you?



A major problem a good number of us face is that we keep our eyes glued to those major goals of ours every single second we don’t know how to do anything else.
We tend to compare ourselves with the life of others that seem to be “doing big” and better than we are and we want to forge ahead, only because we’ve become bothered by what we see.

In this journey towards that which is perfect, there really is no final destination.
Because you know that popular saying—No one is perfect?
That still hasn’t changed unfortunately.
Meaning, believe it or not, there is absolutely always room for improvement, and this applies to anyone and anything and everything.

 

It’s why Apple keeps increasing their phone sizes and announcing latest updates for more efficient operating systems and we keep purchasing and purchasing.
Because things can always do and be better.
And so to even believe you can achieve a point of total perfection is in fact, to an extent, limiting how far better things can actually still get.

However, hold on, I’m not done here.

Have you heard a person go “This is just perfect for me” or “This was exactly what I wanted?”

That’s because somewhere along the line, in this quest towards perfection, you, and no one else mind you, ultimately possess the ability to choose your self-determined bus-stop.
The point you choose to get off and dwell at.
How long you stay there is also yours to decide.

 

You determine your happy place where you can say with all certainty: “Yes, this is it, yes, I couldn’t possibly want anything else” or “I don’t think I need to go any further. Plus, this spot I’ve put in effort to reach is pretty good”.

 

And you know what? Good for you.
The mistake you can make it to let people, circumstances or your environment determine this.
Or hold you back from even starting.

 

We all have different views on what the perfect whatever should look like, be like, turn out like.
If you choose to let society force it’s ever changing general view on what success or perfection should appear like, you’d put yourself in the position of just going around in circles.

 

 

So defining these things yourself is crucial.
Don’t see the world and let it push you around and under. Don’t let it force you into pursuing everything blindly.



Like one of my favourite quotes by Yohji Yamamoto goes: ‘’I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorder, distortion”.

Don’t feel threatened by the sometimes polluted ideologies it keeps pushing at every one of us daily.

 

Ideologies that if you aren’t a millionaire in your 20’s, you’re bound to be a failure and poor and unhappy and your kids will suffer for it.
Ideologies that you cannot be considered beautiful if you aren’t “picture perfect”.
Ideologies that you have to be a straight A achiever, with the highest IQ student, to be successful and get the best offers you can possibly get after college.

It’s why everyone is walking around with anxiety written all over faces, blood pressures rising faster than the economy situation, jealousy, anger, malice, ruling in social circles all over.

 

So no matter how further and relentlessly you can choose to keep going on in that journey of yours, just move with the knowledge that there is no brick wall at the end.
It is not a race and you decide how your journey looks like.

The possibilities are endless.

 

With you evolving. Learning. Advancing.

You are allowed to take your time and move at your pace.

 

Wrapping this all up, obviously this post is definitely not to discourage you from aiming towards the highest heights.
I bet no one would even take me seriously if I said that.

Rather, it’s to infect you with the understanding that everything can always be better than they are, no matter how good they look already, and so your ultimate goal should be to be fuelled with desire to move from the point you are presently, not get overly engrossed about all the zillion of levels you could be in.

So work towards perfection, don’t be mediocre.

There are more than enough of those kinds of people already, and when you do work towards perfection, chances are that with time, you always keep going closer and closer (cancel) further and further.

And a step behind was where you once stood.

 

However, set your standards for yourself by yourself, enjoy the stages you get to, celebrate each one--it's an accomplishment!

And when those standards truly becomes standard, you have every right in the world to decide to stop worrying about anything else.
And to pick up again, whenever you so wish to.

 

Remember, you call the shots.

So go out there.
And one step after the last, don’t forget to be as awesome as you choose to be.

LemonsLemonade.com