₦airaland Forum

I use to wash for my wife until the day she made some silly comment about it I stopped and never to do it again.

I am presently going through some marriage pressures. I married a very young woman some five years ago. We have two kids. I actually believe in marriage institution and will do all I can to make it work. Ever since I married her, she has ran away up to six times. Upon a small disagreement, she will run out and return later in night. Previously, I will go to her father's house to bring her back, but I later stopped. I use to see it as childish behavior but I am of the opinion that a child is suppose to grow. Her parents will tell her not to run to them again.

She tells me any nonsense that crops up into her mind. I just cant mention some of them here. Now I see her as someone that may wake up and run away from the marriage. This is my problem. Frankly, I have lost the love I have for her and she is feeling it. I shifted the love to someone else though I am not doing anything with other than we speaking on phone.

I don't want to send her away but might consider having two wives. I know some of you will start with your one man one woman white people thing. I am a white man and will not be. As long as I can provide for them and my children, I will be a fulfilled man. Even the the white man one man one woman thing is worrying them now. You see a lot of divorces going on around them. If she decides to go, I will let her go but I will not push her away.
I am a christian (a good Catholic) but I don't believe that all we do in Christianity are acts of God. I am not trying to justify anything. If I don't sought my problem out this way, she will wake up on day to see women coming with kids claiming I am their father. Don't Yab Me for my position. It is not conventional though. I don't do conventional things. I don't laugh because someone wants me to laugh. I am only worried about my mother that is a good catholic and is hoping on getting the good mother status in the Catholic Church. I know some stupid little church politicians will attempt using it against her. SORRY MA. I LOVE YOU GREAT DEAL BUT I HAVE TO BE HAPPY.

Although Tinubu is not a saint. He is a thief or "stealer " but he is saying the truth. GEJ is very unfortunate that he was given a job that was so big for him and he could not step up to the situation. he allowed thieves to surround him and he as well sometimes doesn't use his brain.
SORRY MY PRESIDENT, YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME

Yeah, I am married and I have changed. It was the work of the girl I married. She knows that I am becoming less caring and more stubborn.

omega25red: you dont have to stay with her kids or no kids. if you are miserable you probably should get a divorce and get joint custody of your kids and make sure your kids do not lack. or figure out how to work it out

Thanks. I really feel that the children will be seriously hurt.

livialives: A good question her is are YOU acting like the RIGHT husband towards her?
What are you doing to make yourself the right husband that any woman would be proud to call hers?
Don't forget there is no PERFECT woman out there as surely no perfect man.. When you committed to marriage you made a commitment to *make it work* .
No marriage is easy and I am sure you have your own faults as well as she. ( there are two sides to a story).

Maybe try showing more love ( there is nothing a woman won't do for a man who treats her with love)
Sit down and work out your issues.. Communication is very VITAL!!

I would advise you to remove thoughts of taking another wife (You are already complaining about the one you have) yet you want to compound your troubles with another..
Please sit down with your wife and work it out..
Set pride and ego aside.. (I know this could be hard if either party think they are right) but if you want peace one person has to humble his/herself ..
All the best in your marital life.

Frankly, I use to seat her down to talk to her. I had to stop when I found out that she is just enjoying it. She will be doing a whole lot of things still waiting for me to seat her down and talk before she will change for some time. I cannot say I am a living saint but I know that I give in a lot to make things happen in the marriage.

vislabraye: It takes two to make a marriage work.
Have you done your best? If you're sure you have, separation might be a good option.

My guy I have done all I can to make things happen but all I see is misbehavior. Ever since I married her she has left my and my children up to 4 times in the last 4 years of the marriage. I have zeroed my mind that she will go one day. She actually stopped running out after I threatened not to allow her back into my house if she leaves again.

jhydebaba: If you have severe headache, will u cut ur head and did I hear u call ur wife the wrong woman

I think she is. I believe is proper understanding but it is not happening. She is one of those women that believe that the husband must do all thing. As I am typing this now, she is some how not too sound. She found out yesterday that she is not feeling too well. She has gotten her salary and cannot go for medication. As I am talking to you now, she is still waiting for me to take her for medication. What she uses her money to do is to buy cloths. I do take her for treatment but out of anger, I did as if I am not seeing her this night. I can only do something for her tomorrow if I come back from office.

sauer: there has never been anything wrong with getting a divorce. It just baffles me why you arent considering that.

Divorce is good but it will affect my two lovely innocent children. I am just for them. I try my best to make this whole marriage work but see something else. She ones told me that my mother married her and give to me because she did not understand my secret to our wedding and all that.

I am very sorry to say it but it is my opinion. Marriage is a thing that when you are out side of it you will be rushing to enter while most people inside want to rush out of it.
I am inside and very unhappy. Actually picked the wrong woman and now has 2 children with her. She tells me any bullshit that crosses her mind. I am very unhappy and confused. I am even thinking of picking up a second wife. I really mean it. I am tempted into cheating on her and her behaviors is encouraging it. Imagine her telling me this evening that I will go mad if I ever torch her body. We had a very little argument.
Second wife or girlfriend here I come. If you are interested to take this position, let me know.

Please They should sack Wenger and the management team at Arsenal. My Arsenal is dead. SOOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYY.

Some people say Dbanj. Is it because he dey carry body near American musicians. That is bullshit. After carrying body to those people he came home and released Oyato or Oyaku. How many Americans bought that album. Leave am there. Na 2 Baba all the way. Dbanj no my dog name for music. 2 Baba all the way.

GoodLuck Jonathan Period

It is very worrisome that most people just seat down somewhere waiting for the country to break up. It marvels me more that most of them are youth like me. The truth is that it will not happen. Nigeria has gone a long way as to just break up. Another truth is that for some time now, the country will continue like a very sick old woman.
It is very unfortunate that we are not helping matters. We here in nairaland are even more terrible. We keep on fighting each other based on ethnic orientation. We need to work together to correct these stupid things happening here.

The major problem of Nigeria is politicians. Before we use to say that the military are killing the country but we have observed that bad leaders that we have now are worst. Imagine a governor buying house in USA within 100 days in office. Looting is the watchword and nothing is done by anybody. A governor will built road and we will start praising him as if he used his personal money to build it.

The other time Tinubu was seen in the Democrats convention in USA clapping and rejoicing. These our leaders like good thing but will not encourage it here. Any small headache they jump into any available plane to Germany for treatment. What of us that doesn’t know where Germany is. No good hospital here and we are busy singing their praising, vetting frustrations on each other because of ethnic orientation. It is only if we rethink that we can get it right. For now, we are in a very big problem.
How many of the leaders of these developed country come to buy houses? How many of them even give a damn about us. Imagine that Nigerians are used as mocking tools around the world. We even see that our girls go to even Mali for prostitution. Imaging Gabon deporting Nigerians. This is very unbelievable. Something needs to be done by us mainly youths.

Today China is leading the world because they focused of development. Some 15 years ago, Chinese products are very inferior but today the story is different. We keep sitting asking for transfer of technology which will not happen. I was thought that in the University here in Nigeria by one old lecturer. They thought us about reparation and transfer of technology. Nobody will give us their developed technology. The can only supply technology. The Chinese did not wait for technology to be transferred to them, they stole them.
Rise up guys and help yourself. Let us make it work here.

Very soon his father will be arranged for defrauding his mother.

Old boy, You people should tell him to bring it to Nigeria. We need it. Before we know it we will be importing and consuming Japanese shit. I think Japanese shit go sweet oh.
We be Mumu, We value things from outside than what we have here. Do you know many POOOOOOS that have been used to produce some of the things we buy and eat here. If they have not said this now, we may even travel to Japan to eat their shit. TUFIA KWA.

Men watch out. These day men are raped and their virginity broken through the anus. While working on the road for some men that have big ass, watch any man coming behind.
For me, I dont have big ass so nobody will try putting his dick into my borny ass.
WICHES AND WIZARDS ARE AY WORK. GOD PUNISH THEM.

All these people telling this young man not to give are all suckers. Is he going to live there forever? Oyibo is Oyibo. If you think that doing like them is you baby, go ahead. I promise you that you will fail.
GIve the genuine ones and explain to or promise those that are not genuine that it is not easy for you over there.That you dont make millions of dollars. African culture is built in a communal manner and as such it will always be. If you live alone because you are opportuned to go abroad, you have your self to blame when there is the need for them to help you out on something. NOBODY HAS MONOPOLY FOR GOOD THINGS.

Look guys I am very much unhappy that the power desperate Buhari and his CPC cohorts are washing their hands off the death of innocent Nigerians in the North. This is very shameful in all ramifications.

Buhari started complaining of rigging when he voted and feared that he will loose. He said that planes were caring printed ballot papers meant to rig the election. What is the meaning of that? Is he God that sees everything? The same Buhari encouraged his followers to lynch and body involved in election malpractices.

I wonder who told Buhari that he will win this election. The prophet should be sent into exile if any. How many southern states did Buhari carry out his campaign? How many did he promise anything? Power is not gotten through force. The past years that The British gave the northerners power to control other are over. If the north wants to win election, they should bring a credible and trustworthy candidate and campaign without religious and ethnic sentiments. They are not born to rule while others are born to be fools.
GEJ never took ethnic lines to the whole thing. He never said anything that will show that he is a Christian.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Bleep NYSC. I vowed not to go to any a dawn North if I am sent there to go and do a rubbish dawn NYSC. Well I served in Bayelsa(BY).

I wish parents can come to a very good agreement and stop there children from going to the stinking North for any NYSC stupid thing. THis whole thing sucks. If this is done ones or twice, the impact will be felt in this foolish country. Better still, whie not we break this country and go our different ways.

I will not allow my younger brother to go to any North for NYSC. God forbids back thing. All this foolish NORTHERNERS should bu taught a lesson they need to remember.

I wionder why someone will expect a power hungry foolish jack like Buhari to beat Goodluck. He is disassociating himself from the violence. That is a rubbish. Was he not the one that call his followers to lynch anyone they see rigging the election. How many southern states did he even tried to make any impact during the election period.
STINKING SUCKERS

I married one and is now looking for a way out of the marriage. It is very bad. I thought I will love her in future but that is yet to happen. I am very much afraid of my marriage. I dont cheat on her though but I am not happy with the marriage.