Mummy! Mummy! Daddy is back, he went upstairs” Martina said….. Ok baby, just eat your food, I will be right back. I said to my 5 years old daughter as I went upstairs to meet my husband and to know how his day went. As I opened the door to our bedroom, with all happiness and mouth already open to call out to him, I found him on the bed zonked out…..not again I said……. It has become a wont for my husband to leave early in the morning and come back late at night, he barely eats dinner with us, Martina hardly sees her father, she keeps asking me most of the morning whether her dad won’t join us for breakfast and each time she comes back from school, she keeps repeating same question. I was getting tired of the whole drama, we had become pale in comparison to his work but I couldn’t talk, I did not want my husband to think that I am ungrateful, to think that he works day and night to provide for the family and he kisses my bank account with a prodigious amount of money at the end of each month. But that wasn’t all I wanted, I needed my husband, our daughter needs her father too. I wished most of the times that he could stop his work; I prayed that he would be dismissed from his job… but hell no!!! The way he works for his company, only brought him promotions upon promotions. I was getting irritated with the whole situation, I just wished he could look at me at least once and see the anger written on my face, the pain in my heart and the bitterness in my soul, I wished he could look at his daughter and see how much she longs for her father, I wished he could notice that we just have one child in a 6 years old marriage, I was medically fit, he too was ok, but he barely touches me, no matter how I dress to seduce him, he was always tired, he always claimed to be late for work, he was always in a hurry, he was more concerned about the money he was making. I was working too and receiving a good pay too, “so why would he be stressing himself this much” I would always think. We were never like this before; our marriage was so beautiful until Martina’s 2nd birthday party, which was the day his boss promoted him. We were all happy, I for one was so happy; I taught that would be the beginning of new things in my family, and actually it was the beginning of new things but it took another dimension. I was hurting badly, I prayed each night that God would turn my husband’s face back to his family incase if he had forgotten he had one.
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The night before my birthday, my husband said he would be living for work as early as 6.00am, so that means I had to wake up early to prepare his breakfast, that was the only food he does not miss at home. The following day, he woke up, had his shower, ate his breakfast and zoomed off. I was tempted to ask him what the day was, but I held myself, tears dropped down my cheeks as he walked out the door. I prepared Martina for school and prepared for work too. As I walked into my work place, I was startled by the sound of balloons and wines that were being popped by my co-workers... …………………………..my boss never fails to celebrate the birthday of his workers and I, being his secretary, mine was usually special. He offered to take me out for lunch on seeing my sad face, I quickly agreed. I needed to get my mind off many things. He took me to an eatery down town where we had a nice lunch. I laughed so hard during lunch that I forgot we were in public; I think I drew the attention of most of the customers there with my laughter that most of them hinged to our direction. I noticed a man who was constantly looking at me; I had to look up to know who he was…..behold! It was Martin; he was having a business lunch with his boss and some other men. I turned away immediately and hurriedly ate my food so that I can leave that environment as soon as possible.
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When I got home that day after work, Martin was already at home, I greeted him and walked upstairs, pretending like nothing happened. He followed me upstairs, angrily pushed the door open, with a fierce look on his face, he threw the first question at me…” how long has this being going on”? “How long has what being going on”? I threw back the question at him. “You and your boss” he shouted. I became more angry than confused. “Who gave you that stupid idea” I shouted….. I saw it all, I saw the both of you, the way you were laughing and playing together, I saw it all. What is today’s date I asked him, “4th March” he said…. I asked again, “what is 4th march”? He said he did not know. “Just answer the damn question and stop asking me silly questions” he shouted “well, if you must know, maybe my boss was actually performing your husbandly job for you since you have forgotten them or better still, since you are not always around to do them” I threw the parting shot at him as I walked away… I knew I shouldn’t have said that, but I was hurt that he couldn’t remember that today was my birthday, I was hurt that he was too quick to judge me and conclude that I was having an affair with my boss. I thought he would come back to continue the argument, but he never did. That day became the beginning of my next ordeal. My husband stopped eating my food, he stopped sleeping in our room, he stopped talking to me, and he was hardly at home. The grievous part of it, was when he started bringing other women home with food he bought outside… my marriage was going down, I was very worried, I became scared, but I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t bring myself to tell Martin that it was because of him that he saw my boss and I together and that nothing was actually going on between us, I couldn’t bring myself to apologize to him…. After all, it was he who should be apologizing……… the situation started getting worst, I couldn’t tell if he was sleeping with those women, all I hear each day was their laughter which was always disturbing my beautiful sleep, and most importantly, the situation was getting to my baby girl. I thought of a solution, none came to my mind except to take Martina with me to my mum’s place.
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I had already talked with my mum over the phone before we arrived. She had prepared my room and Martina’s room…... Martina never failed to ask me each day when we are going back to her dad; I would always cook up a story to escape her numerous question………………... One Saturday, I went to sit at the balcony to receive fresh air, I was going through the pictures in my phone, reminiscing, when my mum walked in from behind. She watched me spend some minutes looking at each picture and then dried the tears in my eyes after going through them. I never noticed her presence until she coughed. She brought a sit and sat close to me, we had a long talk before she finally said to me, “you can’t win this battle in this house”. The following weekend, I went back to my husband’s house. I was ready to amend my marriage, I was ready to talk, and I was ready to apologize. On getting home, Martin was at home but this time, alone. Martina threw herself at her dad who hugged her so tight. I was glad that he at least missed his daughter. I arranged our luggage, freshened up and fixed dinner. Martin ate the food like he has not eaten in days; I guess he must have really missed my cooking. We did not talk during dinner; he only talked with his daughter who drew my attention to their discussion with most of her questions. We all retired to our bedrooms afterwards. Martin was still mute, refusing to talk to me. But I was the one who came back to fix my home, so I had to do what I had to do. After much silence, I called him but he refused to answer me, I got from the bed and went to his side, knelt down in front of him. “Honey, am very sorry” I said. I told him I had nothing to do with my boss, “he only gave me a treat on my birthday” I said amidst tears. “Am very sorry” I kept repeating until he got up from bed. Why! Why! Why did you have to tell me that? He said with tears in his eyes...why did u have to say that another man was doing my duties for me? Why didn’t you say anything this whole time…..? I was so attached to my work that I failed to notice how much I neglected you and Martina and am so sorry and am also sorry that I forgot your birthday, I promise it will never happen again but you did not have to rub it on my face that way. I hugged him so tight apologizing, he held me tight too, and we kissed and made up. The following day, he offered to take Martina to school and take me to work as well. He started coming home much earlier; he came to my work place most of the afternoons to take me to lunch. The following year, we had our second child…….my family became whole again. I was forever grateful for 4th march that almost cost me my marriage, it actually did cost me my marriage but at the same time fixed it for me……………..
Blessing Chuks.