ALEX182:


I think I will. I even asked him if it was Ebola but he said it wasn't and mentioned West Nile virus. Me I don't know if West Nile virus occured in Nigeria earlier this year so I just kept mute and decided to find out.

The guy is so much in love and part of me feels that this will break his heart and lead him to do something drastic. It's so troubling to me and a part of me just wants to waka far and act like it's not my business but another part is burning with anger at the scammers

I think u have to tell him.....give him some Nigeria swear words to send to scammer and see what happens

The level of hatred and bitterness from some girls on this forum is highly disturbing, do you know u can read and just follow the thread without commenting if u’ve gat no clue about the subject matter..... u will learn more when u listen more and speak less.....

Why do you have to be so hateful of someone u know nothing or little about because of their choice of a partner ? Isn’t it about time we learn to respect people’s decision. I’m beginning to question the age bracket of most girls on this forum..... if u have so much hatred for your Nigerian men then marry a fellow woman abi?
Unfortunately most of these girl can’t even hold a meaningful convo for 5 minutes in real life.

I have read people saying I don’t have control of my wages or she doesn’t want to have my baby and shits like that. Where in the write up did u read that.?

I have female friends from other African countries and I can honestly say their reasoning is abit different

I’m not trying to disrespect anybody, I respect the few hardworking Nigeria ladies out there. Who are good wife, partner and mothers...

Most white ladies will choose to keep a pregnancy from broke boyfriends or even a one night stand and become a single mom. Whereas some of u ranting here have aborted several times for your Alhaji, chiefs, yahoo boys,pastors and even long time boy friend just because u hoping for a richer guy or because u don’t want to suffer with him. Only a tiny proportion of white ladies will do that. And that’s why we still appreciate their honesty and would marry them anyday.

When I met my wife, I was a struggling final year University student. She loved me for who I was and not what I had. Whereas my long time Naija babe had just broken up with me because of a 2k BBM subscription. Today by the grace of God, I can give out a car without thinking twice and do u think I have any regret about the decision I made several years ago?. Absolutely ‘NO’.
My advise to fellow Naija brothers is to be smart and go for whatever is more promising.

I’ve picked up my answers from the meaningful comments...,, and thanks to everyone who had taken the precious time to say meaningful things here.

Goddeywithme:


If the Nigerian woman has nothing else to bring to the table, apart from sex, y should he tolerate her?

I tell every young person, male or female, build yourself up and make sure that apart from sex you have something else to bring to the table.

You can bring good behaviour and great personality. You can bring patience and peaceful home. You can bring support and love. You can bring money or connections.

Whatever you bring to the table should be what your partner cannot easily get anywhere else.

Jah bless .... U said the mind of all legitimate hustling brothers... marriage is actually a risk irrespective of who u marry...... but if sex is the only thing the woman wanna bring to d table, then the man should be ready to be a double looser except if he’s born with a silver spoon.

tobianthony:
A lot of these comments here are just weird .


Brotherly ,

First and foremost , have you secured citizenship in that country ?

Secondly you have to familiarize yourself with the family and marriage laws of the land .

It's good that you haven't had any children with wife . I could be wrong but it depends on what country or state you are in. Child support could be something else .

I would advise you to seek your fellow African brothers or Nigerians for advice .

As for your emotions , my brother I understand but you have to give serious thoughts to the red pill movement . It's not an instant fix but it will help you be tactically aware of the psychology of relationships.

Just Google Rollo Tomassi , Richard Cooper , Rian Stone there's endless material.

This hopefully will make you a better man and improve on yourself.

You can't change people , but you can work on yourself. But that all starts with knowing what you want and subtracting things that aren't good for you .

One .

Thanks my bro

khiaa:


I don't give a damn what happens to white people, all they have shown is wickedness in this country to all people who are not white throughout the history of the United States and still today.

I could careless if they fell of the face of the Earth, the planet would be so much better without them on it. I wonder how many Nigerians you showed the same compassion for when you were there.

PS..If you don't blame them for their behavior who is responsible for it?Doing drugs was a choice that they made. You brought up my people, well they have always had hardship in this country due to the injustice of the people you chose to lay down with and show unreturned compassion for.

Lol .... u are right

khiaa:


When I see those meth head white junkies begging on the street I just laugh and think "What a waste of white privilege." Those sorry homeless opioid son of a Bytches have moved on the mountain in my neighborhood.

They are living under cardboard boxes with so much junk surrounding them and are stinking up the neighborhood.

I called Code Enforcement to get them out but because they are white they have the complection for the protection and nothing is being done about it.

We are holding a community meeting in our park next month to discuss solutions to get rid of those foul demons. They should not be around our children. It is illegal for them to squat on that beautiful mountain, but you know the rest.

im not in the state, but those white folks are everywhere. I give them my change when I have any. I can’t really blame them. It takes true sickness to understand the value of health and true hardship to understand opportunity when u see one.
Some of urs had the opportunity to experience hardship before comfort so we will never abuse it.

Some of those guys don’t really understand what life is all about.

theButterfly:
Omg, if he posts this in any forum with a white audience, they will all call him a scammer, a fraud, etc, and be harsher to him than we are here. I've read the comment section on Yahoo on immigration-related threads and on other news-based websites to know how they abhor these kinda situations. He will get roasted if he posts this anywhere else. He should leave it on Nairaland jeje, but it's up to him to heed my warning or not.

u really don’t know much.... u only reading around...lol

Yes u are right...thanks

FYI : the father of those kids is also younger and she sponsored him to live in this country as well.... he’s not even from African country and because his country men don’t go about writing stuffs like this about themselves, nobody would call it scam.... our mentality is what put us where we are globally and the reason we get stereotyped....I believe some of the stuffs she read here on NAIRALAND contributes to the problem in our marriage.

theButterfly:
I kinda knew that already. You painted yourself as the victim but I wish I could hear her own side of the story b/c I'm sure she has hers. I remember a government campaign a few years ago warning citizens against these sorta marriages b/c at the end of the day, the citizens are often the victims. Whether you want to stay or leave the marriage is up to you but I find it hard to believe you're the saint you painted yourself to be up there, especially b/c of your "If u know my real moniker here on nairaland, u won't say 1% of what u said" comment to Flyca.

So true. A lot of people apply for PR and/or get it the legit, patient way after leaving Nigeria. Other people also apply legitimately and get it right from Nigeria. Then there are a handful like the OP who maneuvre their way through the system w/o working for what others work hard to get, so I don't feel bad for him. And again, I'm sure she has her own side of the story.

theButterfly:
Did you get the PR through the marriage?

Yeap and sometimes wish I haven't so I can find my way.

Mstick:
Seriously? So he wouldn't have gotten the "passport" if he worked hard on his own?

How many bread winning Nigerian woman drives her husband from the house? Heck OP said he contributes 50%, how many Nigerian men will tolerate all he has written from a Nigerian woman? Spending money on another man's kids while his mummy is not interested in giving him his own kids.


A Nigerian woman refusing to have a child with her husband? No Nigerian man will take such from his Nigerian wife.

To get it straight, she's not refusing to have kid and she prays and cry to God on that daily, she just want it naturally as she doesn't really believe in advance science......

LordKO:
@OP

In case you're in the US and reside in one of the states of New England, send me a PM.

sorry I'm not.....thanks for your concern

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

thanks for your comment, but most of your assumptions were wrong. I'm well educated, well established here, decent job with a global company and a permanent resident of the country we live in. If u know my real moniker here on naira land, u won't say 1% of what u said ....lol....

But thanks for being YOU .

sisisioge:
Hmmm....toxic relationships abroad can quickly escalate into physical abuse at the least or even murder at the most. Stay where you are biko. If you miss each other so much, you should seek counselling to fix her insecurities and the other issues you have. Also, take your time to know her by dating her all over again. A word is enough for the wise o...don't rush back. Good luck.

u on point.... Thanks

Hi N’landers.

This is a new moniker for privacy reasons. Pls I would really appreciate some mature advise, well I know it won’t come without criticism or abuse either.

I’ve been in an interracial marriage for a few yrs now(actually less than 5yrs). I won’t give exact figures just to remain anonymous. It’s started as a long distance relationship which lasted for about 3-4 yrs before we finally met and got married. She’s been everything in the world to me ever since our relationship started.
She believed in me and trusted me despite the stereotype about Naija people, peoples comments and what comes up in the news daily about us.

We got married in Naija and few months after our marriage, I migrated to live with her and we’ve been living together ever since then.

But things haven’t been too rosy since we’ve gotten together, it’s always been ups and downs just like every other relationship. Our culture clashed several times.

We are a few years apart with her being on the high side even though u can’t really guess the difference. And that caused a bit of insecurities and false accusations towards me even though there was not tangible evidence against me, as I have always been faithful to her..

Then came in a little bit of jealousy when I got my first job, it escalated into financial disputes and family feud as I don’t really have the best relationship with her kids... but they have a good relationship with their father and they spend time with him always. I never get into any arguments with them or treat them badly.I just don’t have a deep connection with them because in my own word, I find them disrespectful and abit lazy. But still do the necessity for them.

After I got a job, I wanted to save up to repay my loans, to have another qualification and also to establish myself in a foreign land. But with that being said, my priority was my share of the house bills which I was paying about 50% for the 4 of us in the house as the kids are still in school.

The arguments never seems to end, from money issue, to personal issues. Even to the extent that she would call me different names. Called me scammer and all sorts even though she knew I can never scam anybody. She became really abusive and maybe toxic that I went into mild depression and anxiety as she was all I had here when I came. I wanted to end the relationship and move on but I really love her and she’s gone through a lot with me. I didn’t want to give up on her so fast because I know deep down she loves me and wanted our Marriage to work.

My conscience won’t just let me walk out, but there was no progress.... one minute we’re sweet lovers the next minute we might be yelling at each other.

She knows my pay rate but still tell people I was not honest because she doesn’t see my payslips, I felt like most of the time she’s playing the victims card.
She doesn’t support the idea of me having a side savings to pursue my careers or whatever. But she wasn’t against it 100% either

We don’t have any kid together even though we both dreamt about it but unfortunately our chances of having kids is gently fading away....but she never see it as a big deal, even though I explained what having own kids means to us in Africa.

She always tell me to leave the house at every provocation then turn around and say she didn’t mean it for me to leave. I’ve recently moved out just to be happy again, I still miss her and she’s regret her actions and been begging to come back. All the sweet memories of us still plays in my head. But I really don’t know if going back into that house is a wise decision.
She’s got a very beautiful heart but unfortunately her emotions gets hold of her most of the time.

Please people who have gone through separation or divorce, how did u handle living without someone who has been a big part of your life for so long.