₦airaland Forum

After NYSC camp ends, one other place to see youth corpers displaying their behaviour is on their WhatsApp group. This is where everybody changes character and act anyhow because nobody will exactly identify them. But we are watching them, and now we have brought you a report. Which of these characters do you recognise? Which one are you? Don’t lie o.

1. The sticker kings.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/IMG-20200312-WA0017-588x1024.jpg

These ones have a sticker for everything. Including stickers that are very irritating. You say one thing, they respond with fourteen stickers. It’s a wonder how they were surviving before stickers came into existence.

2. The traders.

https://www.businesslist.com.ng/img/ng/m/1556531004-67-sneakersdlite.jpg

Basically, they sell everything from sneakers to hijab and headscarves. They will post plenty photos and when you ask them how much it costs, their response is simple: DM me for price. Set awon…

3. The single guys who came to NYSC to marry wife.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/ER2hd_nWoAEFfaW.jpeg

You’ll think they can’t find a babe anywhere else. They always complain that babes are scarce, and the babes in CDS don’t make it interesting because they always rush to go home after CDS. You can’t blame them. Na wetin singleness cause.

4. The Yoruba speaking people and that one person who hates it.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/ESktLySWAAEBuub-462x462.jpeg

This one is a major wahala. Especially if you’re serving in a Yoruba speaking state. Yoruba people will always speak Yoruba. And some people don’t like it. So when one person speaks out angrily, the other Yoruba people will descend on that person. And then trouble go wear mini skirt.

5. The allowee never enter my account.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/ER4Nh5YW4AAPHne-768x531.jpeg

Since they started NYSC, they have not received allowance and they won’t rest until they tell everyone this. Another set in this category are those people who use Access bank. Their own allowance always come in slow motion.

6. Ghost Mode.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/EQk7xhZWkAA3Omn.jpeg

These ones WILL never chat in the group. If you like kill yourself, they won’t even say pim. When they come online and see 700+ messages, they just scroll past. Who has time to be reading that shit? The only thing they read is credit alert.

7. The responsible ones.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/03/nysc-whatsapp-chat-1-768x432.jpg

These ones always send necessary BC to the group about CDS and days when there will be no CDS. Sometimes, they even send money making opportunities. God bless them. They are the ones truly serving.

Source: Zikoko.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1yXUqvK978

I don't think that's the point of the interview at all.

ANGELMARVE:
Wow This is Beautiful.

This is why i will always advise early marriage for Ladies.

Going into your 30s and still unmarried is a wrong and regrettable move because no reasonable young man will take you serious.

See let us not deceive ourselves, any young girl in her 20s with good and great character will always get married because guys that are ready to settle dowm will always ask their hands in marriage.

If you are above 30 and unmarried then there is a question mark on your life already.

by the order of the Peaky blinders.

It's an anonymous interview, and that's a dialogue, not a soliloquy.

nlPoster:
What should we do with this information now?

No name, no details about who is talking, no knowledge of the reason for the soliloquy, just an anonymous write up that makes no sense.

People who have babies before 21, what should they do?

With the way Nigerians play Canada up on Twitter streets and Facebook alleys, you would think it were some promised land with arms opened wide for West African immigrants or at least a country with a leader who has the utmost respect for everyone ⁠— lazy youth or no. In reality, Canada is turning down Nigerian visa applicants faster than they can say ‘5AM in Toronto’ and their prime minister is a black-face wearing weirdo. But tell that to the average Nigerian and see if they care.

First things first, is Canada as great as everyone hypes it up to be?
Man, Canada is great, I can’t even lie. Funny thing is, maybe because I had my visa since last year, I had ejected my brain and my spirit from Nigeria way before I even moved here, so that has kind of reduced the hype in my mind. But forget, even with that, it’s actually really mad.

Okay, that’s what you’d have said. Because passing this Canadian visa interview is now as serious as SS3 WAEC, what are three things you absolutely must have on deck to pass it?
Let me see, you need your documents, all the basics like your proof of funds, landed documents. That kind of thing.

Then um… look, if I’m being honest ehn, whatever it is you need for your visa interview, just check Nairaland. It’s there.

Wait. Documents I get, but what concerns Nairaland with visa interview?
Boyyy! When I was trying to get my visa, I was checking on Nairaland every day as if I was in a relationship with it. Because I was applying for my visa myself, and the Canadian embassy is now ruthless with Nigerians, I needed all the hacks in this life I could get, and know where all those hacks are? Nairaland!

It was from there I learnt to be super extra with my application. Nobody asked for it, but when I was applying for the visa, I packaged my GMAT and TOEFL scores for them. Let everybody know it’s school I came to do, not asylum. Please dear.

LMAO. That deep?
That deep oh. But I mean, this doesn’t always work. Sometimes it gets crazy, and they deny applications regardless of how hard you prepare.

Nairaland has something for you still!

A wow.
See, if you get denied, there’s usually some letter or email the embassy sends you explaining why your application got turned down. Through Nairaland, I learnt you could apply for GCMS notes. These notes give you fuller details as to why your application was denied so you can make up for whatever they found wrong in the application process.
That you won’t enter your country, Canada is a lie oh, Nairaland won’t stand for it!

Okay, with this Nairaland Ph.D in visa applications, how long did it take you to get your visa?
I remember exact dates. I applied June 12th 2018, and didn’t get it until August 30th 2018. But ⁠— it was actually ready by the 29th, only, I deliberately left it for a day.

Now, why would you do a thing like that?
God bless you oh. So I had already started classes with the school I currently attend even from Nigeria, but the deadline for registration was August 30th. With the way it was set up, if I collected my visa on the 29th, I would have had to fly out to Canada that night, start physical classes and registration the next day. I already had a presentation due and there were tests holding the week after. Only me!
So I decided to just wait it out for a little bit.

And how did that work out for you?
See, I didn’t realise how much I needed my city and how much my city needed me man. That one year I did in Lagos when I could have been in Canada … oh well, kashamadupe.

LOL. So how empty will my account have to be to get this visa?

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2019/09/Minnesota-4.png

Not very empty. It costs maybe 100 – 250 dollars. And that’s Canadian dollars, so nothing too crazy.

So clearly, you’re in Canada for school. We’re going to pretend this isn’t an obvious question and ask if there’s any other reason you chose to move abroad.
Well, because Nigeria is trash. When I was a corper, I got queried at work because it was a bad place and everyone just kind of took whatever treatment they got and grumbled about it quietly. I always spoke out. When I got a proper job, my salary was a monthly, ‘open for a surprise’ event. Whatever the employers felt like giving that month, just take. I resigned in December last year and just said yeah, I’m not working until I go to my real country for school abeg.

Yikes. Throw this country away. But speaking of school, how does Nigeria’s education system match up with Canada’s?
Well, first of all, Nigeria’s education system is non-existent. I’m actually learning here. I attended UNILAG and got so frustrated with my department, that I had to send my HOD a really rude text message, he had to involve my parents you know. Like the frustration had gotten up to here.

But that’s not to say your work isn’t cut out for you here. I have tests every other day, and these are like 10 mark tests, then attendance counts, in-class assignments carry marks as well. Like I had to pencil in a 20-minute window for this interview because I have a test in two-hours. But with every step, you actually feel like you’re learning and not like someone is forcing their notes from 1982 down your brain.

Like last week, we had a lecture on Friday and when everyone was leaving the class, we saw our lecturer had started to pick up the litter everyone left behind. He said because it was a Friday and no one would have come in to clean until Monday, so everyone stayed back and made sure they tidied up. That small event would have played so differently in a Nigerian classroom.

Oop. Somebody let ASUU see this. So for education, that’s Canada 1, Nigeria 0. How about say, transportation?
Okay funny thing, where I stay in Ontario, there are no Ubers, or any ride-hailing services, really. Think there’s a law prohibiting them. But that aside, there’s the train, buses are always on time, I mean the bus I take to class comes every hour, so it leaves at 5:50, next is 6:40 and so on. Almost like clockwork. Then there are trains, metros. You can’t be comparing danfos with all that now.

Yeah, no. Fully digging Nigeria’s grave here, but how about security?See, rock your afro, walk at night, do backflips on the sidewalk, or not… no SARS will stop you, there are hardly any robberies. But if you stay somewhere like Toronto, which has a higher density of people, then it’s a little less safe.

Must be nice. Okay, so what’s one thing Nigeria has that Canada doesn’t?
Nothing. Next question.

LMAO. Not even amala?
Who amala epp?

Ah!
I mean yes, family and friends. I miss them. It’s why my watch is still set to Nigerian time so I can check in on them at appropriate hours. But see, everything I need is here.

Is there a Nigerian community where you are?
Hmm, there are some Nigerians, like here and there. But, let me tell you something. If you think Nigerians want to japa, then you haven’t met Indians. These people collect loans to leave their country for Canada. In my class, there’s me, the only black person, then like 4 Canadians, 1 Sri Lankan and the rest are Indians. No be joke.

Wait what?
Seriously. My Indian friends joke that they feel like they are in Punjab sometimes. The minute the Indians get here, they’re hustling for that Permanent Residency (PR). So if you think Nigerians are about that Canadian life, you just wait, let the Indians teach you a thing or two.

Continue: https://www.zikoko.com/life/citizen/the-canada-manual-wales-abroadlife/

For as long as she could remember, getting married and starting a family was this woman’s ultimate goal. And that’s exactly what she did. Getting married at 20 and having a baby at 21. Now, one kid in, her perspective on life and motherhood has changed.

How long have you been married?
5 glorious years now. And I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.

And what’s married life like?
Honestly, it’s like playing Russian roulette. Which sounds a lot more dire than I mean it to. But you just don’t know what you get out of each day. My husband and I are both spontaneous, so it might be that.

First child at 21, did you plan that?
Honestly, we didn’t but we also didn’t plan to stop it which seems ridiculous now. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was 2 months gone. I had missed my first month’s period but I’m used to my period being sporadic so I didn’t think twice about it.

Your reaction?
I was ecstatic o. Like I said we hadn’t exactly planned for it, but we hadn’t planned to stop it. But for as long as I could remember getting married and starting my own family was the ultimate goal. I had excelled in school, graduated with a first class in Economics so a lot of people didn’t expect me to get married so soon after school. I was supposed to start my career and become this big shot career woman you know.

By the end of final year I had been dating my husband for four years. We met in my first year, he was in his final year in Engineering. He got lucky and got a job straight out of Uni, so by the time I was done he was stable. There was just no reason to wait.

What did he think?
The only person who had worse baby fever than me was my husband. He’s still that way. I was still breastfeeding this one when he started talking about baby number 2. I just said Oga calm down. But he was the practical one. First couple of weeks, first several weeks, in fact, my head was still in clouds. I was picking out baby names and shopping for cute baby stuff. He was the one that sorted out prenatal class, bought the baby books arranged the doctor’s appointments etc.

Is he till hands-on?
Haha no, not like then. And I bet you knew that already. All of that was the really easy stuff. It didn’t feel like that at the time, but preparing for the baby is really nothing. It’s even fun sef.

I don’t work. Well, at least not a 9-5. I’m a full-time housewife and I run a very small scale food order service on the side. His job, on the other hand, is, of course, a full-time 9-5 and sometimes he’s required to be offshore for weeks at a time. So I’d say no he’s definitely not as hands-on. He loves his child very deeply and provides for her, but her primary care is left up to just me.

How did pregnancy go?
I was one of the really lucky ones. No morning sickness or significant weight gain. I had a lot of food cravings and my feet ballooned but apart from that it was as easy as a pregnancy could get. I hear your first child is your most difficult but I just popped mine right out. My labour time was I think 7 hours in total which is pretty great.

Continue: https://www.zikoko.com/her/what-she-said-i-had-a-baby-at-21-i-wish-i-waited/

We paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense-paid blind date, interviewing them before and after they met.

She Realized She Prefers Yoruba Demons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1yXUqvK978c

See other episodes: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn18jz4p81sf4-qMHbo_rWuO_YPTsq6VD

Getting married to the love of your life is the ultimate ‘happy ever after’. Most especially here, where till death do us part is taken quite literally. Divorce is never the answer, but for this 29-year-old woman it was.

How did you meet?
Through our parents. I used to make a joke to my friends about how my marriage was arranged. His parents thought it was about time he settled down, so did mine. I don’t even know if there was a courting period. Both our parents were so involved from the get-go, we both knew how it was going to end.

And the proposal?
Came about 9/10 months after we met. It might as well have been the introduction. There was no ring right away. He had his parents escort him to meet with my parents and I, to inform us of his intention to marry me. After he spoke and his dad spoke, my dad turned to me and just asked do you accept, and I nodded.

Did you feel coerced?
No. Never. Not even a little bit. For me, it was just why not. I had never had a boyfriend, never dated anyone. Before we met I had always wondered how I’d go about it. He’s also has a genuinely good heart. There were just no downsides to it.

So no ring?
Oh the ring came, a couple of weeks after. Lol very unceremoniously though. He just sort of handed it to me.

How old were you?
23, I turned 24 a couple of months after the wedding.

The wedding was…
Small by Nigerian standards. About 300 guests in total. My parents are simple people they hate anything elaborate. I think his Mum would have liked something bigger. But my parents are very persuasive.

The honeymoon…
Didn’t happen. It was marriage then husband’s house. There’s a significant age difference between us so he was already settled down, living in a family appropriate accommodation.

The first year was…
Uneventful really. We were like housemates. I cooked and cleaned, he went to work. I was working in my Uncle’s firm before we got married. And after the wedding, I just sort of stopped going. We attended social functions together and always had dinner together (his idea). He didn’t want kids right away so I had to get these shots every three months.

Were you in love?
I don’t know. I was quite fond of him in the early years. I don’t think we were as close as couples could be. But we had our moments.

Continue: https://www.zikoko.com/her/what-she-said-what-its-like-to-be-divorced-before-30/

Are you as bold as the warriors of legend or are you more like those people who, during an argument, act like they want to fight but quietly beg people to hold them back so the argument never quite escalates? Take this quiz to find out your boldness level.

https://www.zikoko.com/quizzes/quiz-how-bold-are-you/

Grace Osagie doesn’t know when she will post new stock on her Instagram business pages.

“I’ve not been able to get goods out of China,” the Lagos-Nigeria based online fashion retailer tells me.

As you should know if you have not been under a rock, Covid-19 is on a rampage. Popularly known as coronavirus, the infectious viral disease originated in China in December 2019 and has so far caused over 2,800 deaths from about 82,000 infected humans.

Deaths have been recorded in China, Italy, South Korea and Iran, where the deputy health minister and a vice president have tested positive.

Nigeria has recorded its first case, according to an announcement by the Ministry of Health early Friday morning. But Africa has largely been spared the virus’s mortal consequences.

Empty Parisian Runways
The virus has disrupted fashion month for the world’s big luxury brands. At Paris fashion week, Giorgio Armani decided against having guests at the unveiling of their Fall 2020 collection, choosing instead to stream the runway from an empty theatre.

Beyond global fashion, small and especially online-based business owners in Africa like Grace Osagie are grappling with the implications of the Coronavirus outbreak. While holding down a part-time job in Lagos, Osagie operates two online stores on Instagram – one for men’s wear, and another for essential oil diffusers.

Thanks to China’s imposition of travel restrictions, both of her Instagram hustles are on an indefinite pause. Customers are requesting stock but “I can’t post what I don’t have. I have orders but can’t ask them to pay.”

Public health panics on a global scale are not new. Disease outbreak is an unpredictable factor that business owners have to make allowances for. But unlike any recent disease, Coronavirus highlights China’s growing influence on global fashion supply chains. McKinsey’s state of fashion in 2019 report predicted China will overtake the US as the world’s largest market for the first time in centuries.

The implications for Africa are probably more noteworthy. Your favorite African wax print is probably Chinese in origin. In the age of exploding e-commerce, a sneeze in China will, more than ever, sparks bouts of entrepreneurial pneumonia in Africa.

Disturbing the peace
Before coronavirus rocked global commerce, there were basically two ways to import fashion accessories from China to Africa. A merchant could reach out to manufacturers directly, send the minimum order quantity, make payments and expect shipment. Alternatively, you go through an agent based in China who shops and sends.

Violet Johnson, another Lagos-based online fashion retailer specializing in female accessories, is familiar with both procedures. But since the outbreak, she has not been able to finalize orders:

“I have been advised not to pay for the things I want to get because the manufacturers are not taking any orders now until the situation eases. They can’t ship out. My new orders are on hold till further notice.”

When is “further notice” and how does an Instagram business owner hold fort till that time without losing usually fickle customers?

“I’ve been losing opportunities because of a lack of stock,” says Habib Olawale, a 27-year old who sells fancy embroidered socks through social media.

Between April 2019 when he started till this February, Olawale has sold 1,600 pairs. 75% of those sales have been on Twitter because “people more easily share your content if they like it.”

With coronavirus in play, he now directs most customer requests to re-sellers on social media who bought up the majority of the 800 pairs he imported from China in January. Importing from India or Turkey are alternatives but the work it will take to learn new processes and familiarise with new agents would, in his view, be prohibitive.

He’ll rather stick with his current plug – a Nigerian with contacts in China. They chat and agree terms over WhatsApp.

Pivot or Pause?
There is a temporary relief for Osagie, the men’s shoes retailer; the dire situation in China has raised demand – and a potential global shortage – for thermometer guns and face masks.

Her Chinese-based shipping agents may be off duty at the moment but it is a good time to send supplies to China: before January, thermometers sold for ₦2,500 ($6.76). But within the week, it has come from ₦9,000 ($24.32) to ₦15,000 ($40.54).

The coronavirus scare officially ends for Osagie whenever time calls on this placeholder gig.

Johnson hasn’t posted on Instagram in ten days but has managed to keep her store open. An initial strategy of diversifying her inventory sources means she imports from Turkey and the UK. Neither has been affected by coronavirus.

China is expected to dominate the expansion of luxury fashion till 2025. Since 2012, they have accounted for 38% of global fashion industry growth across segments. But if the early months teach us anything, it may be time for both designers and merchants to look more broadly.

Source: https://techcabal.com/2020/02/28/how-coronavirus-is-stifling-nigerian-fashion-stores-on-instagram/

Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our new weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

Our subject for this week is Ronald*, who left Lagos to study at the University of Nigeria mostly to experience a new environment. He was doing that and having the best time of his life until a cultist attack reminded him of his mortality.

What happened?
A cultist attack.

A what now?
I was attacked by cultists. I wasn’t at “the wrong place at the wrong time” or anything. This happened in my room.

Slow down. How?
The day it happened, a friend came to see me from Abuja. He asked me if someone else could come to see him in the room. He said something about a business transaction; I wasn’t paying a lot of attention. I didn’t think I needed to. I just told him they could come as long as they would be leaving the same night. The guy came and left after a while. That was supposed to be the end of it.

But it wasn’t
No, it wasn’t. Later, there was a knock on the door. We didn’t think there was anything to worry about, so we opened it. And there they were; the guy that came to see my friend earlier and three other people. They barged in and pushed us into the room. They warned us not to make any noise if we didn’t want to complicate the situation.

Did they say what they wanted?
No. It was really confusing. I was rooted to a spot in one corner of the room, not sure of what would happen next. These guys had knives and guns. By a stroke of luck, I guess, my friend dashed past them and ran outside. The element of surprise worked for him, as it was one guy manning the door. Two of them went after him and the remaining two stayed with me. I was really scared at this point because I knew we’d riled them up. I still didn’t know what they wanted. I panicked and started screaming for help. I thought luck would be on my side too, so I managed to run out of the room. It was all chaotic at best. I screamed for help, literally banging on people’s door, but nobody opened up.

That’s scary.
Finally, someone did and dragged me into his room and asked me what was going on. I briefed him and he was like, There’s something wrong with this story because cultists hardly target people without cause. Anyway, he hid me in his room, but that only lasted for a few minutes as the cultists were looking everywhere for me. They had my friend already and they briefed people in the lodge about what was going on. Eventually, they found and dragged me down the stairs, questioning me and hitting me everywhere they could. It was terrible.

Did you know what they wanted now?
They were asking me questions about my friend’s sexuality. Apparently, my friend hooked up with the guy that came earlier on a dating app. They were beating us because they believed my friend and I were gay.

Whut?!!
My neighbours stood by and watched as everything unfolded without trying to help us. Eventually, the beatings stopped. They ransacked my room, took away my phone, laptop, and most of my clothing. They took my friend with them too.

I couldn’t stay in that house anymore. I packed what I could, moved out and squatted with another friend for some time.

What was that like?
It was terrible. I’d lost almost everything. I was sad and depressed. I missed classes. In fact, I almost deferred the semester. I had this lingering feeling that this was just the first of the attacks, although there hasn’t been any attack since then. Still, I’m always watching my back, suspecting people who stare at me, checking if my door is bolted more than once to ensure it is. This is not a good way to live, literally hanging on to your life, not sure if someone would come out of the shadows and take it.

At some point, I didn’t even care if they attacked anymore. The worst they would do is kill me, and that didn’t seem like a bad thing. Anything just to stop the pain and humiliation that came with it.

Wow. Did you try to involve the police?
Tried that a few days after it happened. I wouldn’t have, actually. But a friend asked me to go somewhere with him. It turned out to be a police station. They sent someone with us to the lodge to investigate. That was when everything got even more complicated.

My neighbours turned the story around and said they met us naked in the room doing all sorts of things with ourselves. That was an opportunity for the policeman to extort me, and he did. He made all sorts of threats and said I needed to pay him if I wanted him to let it go. I paid him some money that night and promised to bring the balance the following week. I knew I had to leave school for a while. I deleted his number and went to Abuja.

Abuja, not Lagos?
I would have to tell my parents the story if I went to Lagos and they would just worry themselves to death. No, I needed to handle it my way.

What about your friend? Is he okay?
I got in contact with him a few days after the attack. He was seriously injured and he said they collected over 200k from him. We both lost a lot; maybe not our lives, but we barely escaped with that too.

Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have an interesting story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7JEe55CATOYFjk6dMyu_zQ3kzefE20H-niSsW0uaaQOHbVQ/viewform

“Chief, let me text you when I come back from work, there’s no network in the desert.”

That’s the WhatsApp message from *John, who has worked in Saudi Arabia for the last four years. What takes a Nigerian to Saudi Arabia to work in the desert where the weather gets as hot as 60°C?

Turn to your neighbour and say: Oil money.

In 2015, international oil companies like Schlumberger, Halliburton and Baker Hughes laid off a large number of workers in Nigeria because of an oil glut. While the fortunes of oil companies in Nigeria started to dwindle, oil companies in Saudi Arabia had no such problems.

It became necessary for Nigerian oil workers to look elsewhere and Saudi Arabia became a hot destination.

Saudi Arabia’s state-owned oil company, Aramco is the world’s most profitable company with annual profits of $110 billion. For perspective, Apple, the world’s second most profitable company reports annual profits of $59.5 billion.

Aramco also pulled off the biggest IPO in the world with the company now valued at $1.7 Trillion.

“Anyone who works at Aramco is like royalty. The guys there are living large,” John tells TechCabal. John isn’t royalty yet but save for the heat, his job as a Well Intervention Specialist sounds great.

“I’m here for two months and then I get one month off. I come back to Nigeria during my time off.”

I’m curious about how the frequent back and forth affects his perception of Nigeria.

“When you get to Saudi Arabia, everything works. You’re registered at the airport, and everything is central from that point.

“The airport is great, the security officials speak to you with respect and they go the extra mile to ensure your experience is stress-free.”

As he praises the airport experience in Saudi Arabia, I have a sinking feeling that contrasting it with Nigeria will be tough to handle. If you have been to a Nigerian airport, you know that quality is not of utmost importance here.

“When I return to Nigeria, from the airport, it’s the disorder I find amusing. Everyone begs for money: from customs to immigration and NDLEA agents. I never give them money and I usually tell them that if Nigeria was good I would not leave to go and work in the desert.”

“I mean leaving the organisation here to the disarray in Nigeria is always mind-blowing.”

I change the subject to tech and the big tech changes he has experienced in Saudi Arabia. How would he rate tech in Nigeria and Saudi Arabia?

“The Saudis source their technology from the US. So almost all the technology you can see in the USA is here. From Al to Mechanised Algorithm for real-time analysis ( for oil production) can be found here.

“Technology here is life, the average Saudi is technologically inclined, from data to Teslas, they are the epitome of show-offs. Right they might not know the nitty-gritty of it but oh it’s a new technology, we must have it. It’s more like a must-have mentality.

“So I will rate Saudi Arabia 7.

“But I’ll rate Nigeria 3 and that’s even because of all the things happening in fintech. The difference is still big.

“In Saudi, smartphones are like pure water and cash transactions are at a minimum. In the course of my work here, I have gone to some remote villages where I could buy a cup of tea and pay with a debit card.”

With all that advancement, I asked my new favourite question for people who live outside Nigeria: how much data can N2,000 ($5) buy?

“N2,000 is about 20 Riyals here, so I would say it should get you about 1.5GB of data. But I have not met anyone who buys small data bundles, usually, we buy around 50-100GB of data at 150 Riyals ($40).

“Many parks here also have free WiFi, you can walk to a park and connect.”

With all that data, what are the ten top apps he can’t do without in Saudi Arabia?

“Twitter, Youtube, DSTV Now, Netflix and Starz and the most important of all, a VPN app”

VPN usage suggests censorship in a country. What does Saudi Arabia try to control?

“The government controls everything, and so regulates their internet. For a foreigner like myself, I can’t buy a SIM card without an iqama card. When I buy a SIM Card, it’s linked to my passport. So let’s say I commit an offence they just trace the line and zoom in on me.

“I know a Canadian who was deported because he was dirty texting a Saudi lady. Her brothers got the number, reported to the police and within 8 hours, he was picked up in the base.”

Apart from these kinds of restrictions, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia also bans betting websites, pornography as well as some Christian channels.

To avoid the government’s prying eyes, VPN is a necessity for many people who live in Saudi Arabia. Sometimes, using a VPN is the difference between life and death because anyone who criticises the government or expresses dissent faces execution.

Death is the punishment for holding the wrong political opinion. I assume this means that John is open to moving back to Nigeria full-time.

“If it were to be any European nation I would not think twice but the temperature in the summer in the desert reaches 60°C and when you have 45°C it’s a good day, while now in the winter it’s 11°C.”

“Even with all the censorship, I am more relaxed here than in Nigeria. The disorganisation in Nigeria is mindblowing. Many of my Arab friends always ask me why we come here when we have got oil in Nigeria. I look at them and say you would not understand.”

One of the things big cities in Nigeria still struggle with is public transportation. Does KSA face the same problems?

“Uber and Careem are the two popular taxi-hailing services, but most people here have got cars and when I mean cars, I mean CARS. The public transport by bus is almost non-existent but I hear the train works.”

By now, we’re three hours into a conversation which began at 9:39 pm Saudi time, so John asks for “permission to go to sleep sir” and it brings our interesting conversation to a close.

Source: https://techcabal.com/2019/12/10/no-porn-or-dirty-texts-a-nigerian-in-saudi-arabia-shares-his-tech-culture-shock/

The Jollof Road trip is almost coming to an end. The crew is on their way back to Nigeria after traveling to 13 West African Countries. See the #jollofroad thread for details: https://www.nairaland.com/5497377/80-days-across-west-africa

A number of people have inquired if a similar trip could be organized for interested parties. If you would like to be a part of this, please sign up here and we will plan it: https:///JZojizxfv7jauPKYA'

To learn more about Jollof Road, see https://www.jollofroad.com

It's currently Day 73 and we're in Niger.

We've gone through Senegal, Mali, Burkina Faso and we're in the last country out of the 13 we've been to.

We have 7 days left on the trip and will be entering Nigeria through Sokoto, then visit Abuja, then Abeokuta before we return to Lagos.

We have been so caught up with the last days of the trip that we didn't update this thread. However, we have been writing the daily journals and making videos. You can see all daily journals from day 1 to present at https://jollofroad.com

We Found Rice And Stew For the First Time In 60 Days

Rice is a staple in West Africa.

Beyond Jollof rice, West Africans consume rice in as many forms as we can. Plain old white rice with sauce or stew, fried rice not to be mistaken with fry rice which is a whole other thing, tuwo and masa, the list is endless. We’ve talked a lot about how similar our food is across the region.

But one thing we never come across is rice and stew. There’s a lot of rice and ‘sauce’ but no stew. The sauce is usually made with a lot of onions and spices with either fish or chicken but no tomatoes, no ata rodo (fresh pepper).

We had gotten so used to the onion sauce, the stew took us by surprise. There was still a lot of onion in it, cut in large chunks so you can’t miss it even if you tried, but there was tomato and pepper. And it came with a side of alloco which is exactly like dodo but so much better, and it was heaven.

https://www.zikoko.com/jollof-road/wp-content/uploads/jollofroad/2019/11/3-11.png

There’s a great chance it wasn’t half as good as we thought, but after 66 days on the road, away from home, family and friends, the food also tasted nostalgic. We had rice and stew for breakfast again yesterday. We didn’t request it, we just ordered riz et poisson (rice and fish) and it came with stew. Which led me to believe that stew might be a staple here. I think it could be because we are getting closer to Nigeria, but Jollof is still Thieb here, so probably not.

Read the rest of the journal: https://www.zikoko.com/jollof-road/we-found-rice-and-stew-for-the-first-time-in-60-days/

ebiboy2:
Please keep us (me particularly) posted.
Welcome back from jollof road. Ofada road loading

We're still on the road. Today is Day 73

ebiboy2:
How much did this trip cost? How can one join on the next ofada road?

Hello, we have sponsors.
We are also looking towards planning a similar trip for interested parties. Information regarding that will be shared later.

Harbioye:
I followed this thread back to back.
Job well done.
I wish you journey mercies back to your residence and I wish you the best during and after your service year.
God Bless!!!

Deiok:
I Enjoyed every bit of this. Now let me go have a first hand experience of it.

Thank you! Read the last update.

NYSC Diary Day 21: On The Last Day Of Camp

6:10 AM
Now, my watch has finally ended. Or maybe it has just begun because I still have 10 months to go. But I have just read somewhere that it is nice to focus on the now, to dedicate my energies to doing the things that seem short term, and so I can say I am happy, truly happy, but also a little bit sad.

Regardless of your experience in the camp, the last day is usually the one where all the emotions hit, especially when you consider the truth that you will never be together in one place again. Many people are relocating, and people are bringing reports of the new states they have been posted to: Akwa Ibom, Anambra, Enugu, Oyo, Ogun, Lagos, Ekiti, and all other states. Many more are flung to places in Maiduguri. We won’t ever be whole again, you know. We can only meet in twos, in threes, and these meetings are sometimes a thing of luck.

7:28 AM
I go to get my khaki ironed and when I return, I sit on my bed and watch everyone pack. There’s that guy who once angled his butt to demonstrate a sexual position. There’s that other guy who said he could sleep with his friend’s wife. The guy we all refer to as Landlord, he’s over there. A guy we refer to as HIV passes a paper around for us to drop our WhatsApp numbers so we can create a group chat. We laugh. We joke. A guy pushes his waist pouch to his chest area, covers it clothes and calls it breasts. We strip the bunks of mattresses and return them. The metal framework glares back at us, bony and bare.

8:31 AM
I dress up, but this time, there is no force. We have all the time in the world. We also have no time. There is the parade, the final parade. Before that is breakfast. After these two things are done, we have to make the trip back to our various destinations and people who are staying back in Maiduguri will get their posting letters.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2019/11/IMG-20191126-WA0009.jpg

I wear slippers and a shirt over my khaki and created a vest. I turn my cap backward, something I have been dying to do for days but am unable to, because it would attract punishment from soldiers who refer to that act as “Dragging Nigeria backward.”

9:00 PM
I spend time with my friends from OBS. We spent only two weeks and some days together, but suddenly it feels as though I have spent four years with them. F. who came second in the Mr. Macho contest takes bad pictures of me. I take bad pictures of him too, and some really good ones. We laugh. E. sets the self-timer and we spend time jumping and making poses. I head to the kitchen to get what will be my last breakfast in camp. They serve bread and tea, and the man in charge takes my card from me, tells me to detach my passport.

It all comes down to this.

Read the rest of the entry: https://www.zikoko.com/life/nysc-diary-day-21-on-the-last-day-of-camp/

homesteady:
I hope we get at least one last post

Yes!

NYSC Diary Day 20: What Happens On The Last Day of Camp?

7:00 AM
Do you remember this song? “Holiday is coming, holiday is coming, no more morning bells, no more teacher’s whip, goodbye teachers, goodbye students, I am going home. Holiday!”

When I wake up, I remix it: “Going home is coming, going home is coming, no more bugle o, no more morning drills, no more parade, nothing, nothing at all.” Mhen, the bliss.

Today, no bugle wakes us up. Sunday, like I said, is indeed a day of rest in this camp.

12:25 PM
After service ends, I return to the hostel. There is not much to do, not much to pack. I am donating my bucket, rubber shoes and whites to the NCCF. They often take it for the Rural Rugged Evangelism. If this were a school, perhaps a university with the liberty of space, I would tour it. Take a final walk around, look at things, places, and allow myself a final moment of laughter, a time to say goodbye to the city. But we’re in a camp, bushes and soldiers around us, what is there to say goodbye to?

I lie in bed doing nothing until sleep takes me away.

2:40 PM
Suddenly, there is the sound of the bugle. Next thing, soldiers are chasing us out of the hostels, asking us to go to the parade ground now. We dash out. People doing laundry abandon it and leave for the parade ground. We grumble, but we are happy because we know this is the last time.

And let’s be honest, what exactly are we being summoned for that cannot wait until we assemble for evening parade? These people and the unnecessary ways they use power.

When we get to the parade ground, we are told that we should go back to our hostels, get lunch, and come back to the parade ground at 3:40 PM. Dismissed.

This is so absurd, so annoying I don’t know what to say or do. This is what he wants to say and we are summoned? What happened to OBS? Why could it not wait till parade? Why oh why?


3:00 PM
Lunch is rice and chicken. For the first time, I get a very big piece of chicken. My joy knows no bounds and I devour it with glee. After I finish with it, I go to the bankers to get my ATM card, and then I head to the accounts section to get my bicycle allowance. By God’s grace, I am given. Lol after days of going to and fro and I finally get paid. Chai.

Read the rest of the entry: https://www.zikoko.com/life/nysc-diary-day-20-what-happens-on-the-last-day-of-camp/

NYSC Diary Day 19: Life Is A Pot Of Beans

5:30 AM
Look, I am never believing any soldier again. In the heat of yesterday’s competition when the MC (a fellow corps member) saw that we were going to take long, he begged that we be allowed to sleep a bit longer. It’s a fair arrangement: the next day is Saturday, and in all fairness, we were finished with the NYSC timetable. We need rest too.

Now imagine my shock when the bugle sounded at 4AM this morning, and my anger when a solider poked my leg with a stick to wake me up.

I get up, dress in anger and a feeling of betrayal. Soldiers are not to be trusted. Not now, not ever.

6:00 AM
Funny thing: coming to the parade ground was a waste. I missed morning meditation, and by the time I arrived at the ground, there’s nothing left. I am not marching, I am not doing anything, in other words, I have wasted valuable time coming here.

Today is the carnival. All platoons will dress in jeans and a white round neck shirts bearing designs unique to their own platoons. I came prepared, I brought jeans. When you come to camp too, come along with jeans. If you intend to participate in Miss NYSC, you can also come with your own dress, and a traditional attire. Young men hoping to be Mr. Machos should also come with corporate outfits, and maybe three litres of vegetable oil.

10:03 AM
Lmao. This carnival is trash. Other carnivals in other states dress in traditional attires, fancy costumes, and they move about, happy and colourful. But here in Katsina, our carnival is like an awareness walk. Awareness walk is even better. We simply gather under the pavilion, and the MC calls us out to dance according to platoon. It’s a travesty of a carnival. Even street carnivals will see our carnival and laugh.

Because, what’s the point of a carnival like that in the afternoon? What’s the point of buying face masks if you will do nothing but sit under a pavilion and listen to Naira Marley on repeat?

2:15 PM
I forgot to tell you. Today is the cooking competition, and all platoons are saddled with the responsibility of cooking dinner by ourselves and for ourselves. There will be judges who will taste our food and award us marks.

They give us pepper, salt, maggi, vegetable oil, tomato paste, detergent (to wash pot, not to cook abeg), quarter bag of rice, raw meat, firewood, Onga, and all other things they deem enough to cook food.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2019/11/IMG-20191125-WA0014.jpg

But then the problem is that these things are not enough. And this is where people begin to do oversabi.

You know those people in university and secondary school, those ITK classmates who when asked to define Osmosis, say, “According to Albert Einstein 1945, page 201, column 11, line 43, Osmosis is sfhdlahd.” Shebi you know them na? Them full this camp.

Ordinary cooking competition that they gave us rice and pepper for, some people started to prepare salad, banga soup and starch, fried rice. I think some people even prepared amala and ewedu. One platoon went to buy crates of soft drinks. Another platoon went to rent aprons, table cloths, decoration fabric. Tiri gbosa for una. See my platoon people, we gathered and told ourselves we are not participating. Competition that they will not judge us fairly for anyway. Why kill ourselves?

Read the rest of the entry: https://www.zikoko.com/life/nysc-diary-day-19-life-is-a-pot-of-beans/

NYSC Diary Day 18: You Learn To Value Freedom In Camp

7:15 AM
Today is my last Friday in this camp. Waking up, it is no different from the other Fridays I have spent here. But it feels different, and when the soldiers come banging at the door, my friend F. says that very soon, all this gra-gra will end. I can’t wait for it to be over. I really can’t. At this point, the soldiers do the most. Being forced to come and parade in the evening, forced to social nights, forced out of the rooms. This morning, they have added a new strategy to chasing us out: they pour water in the room. Sometimes I think that this camp feels like prison with a tiny slice of liberty. Each time I think thoughts like this, I understand the importance of freedom, of owning your time and doing with it whatever you want, the importance of dressing up in what you like, eating what you desire, going where you desire.

NYSC camp is the place where you learn to value your freedom.


10:15 AM
Because it is the last Friday, we close the SAED skill acquisition program and do an exhibition of the things we have made in our various classes. The people at plumbing exhibit a shower with running water; those at makeup do a live face beat of a model; event planning/management exhibit a couple’s spot in wedding; agro-allied, a hen and some eggs in a crate. Those in tailoring exhibit a long gown, short gown, a kimono, and a dashiki. In leather works, they exhibit bags and slippers that I consider beautiful. My SAED class, Food Processing, exhibits cookies, cakes, salad cream, punctured and non-punctured doughnuts, glazed doughnuts, cup cakes. We also exhibit some tools of the trade: cookie cutters, measuring spoons, etc. I assist in decorating the cup cakes, putting sprinklers atop them, and fetching water to clean the utensils. After the exhibition, I leave for the OBS studio, exhausted.

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2019/11/IMG-20191123-WA0009.jpg

2:30 PM
Lunch is rice and beans. It is delicious, I must admit, but the fish is small and it is fried so deep it has become tasteless. I am about to finish the meal when I hear that they have started paying allowee. That excitement!

https://www.zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2019/11/IMG-20191123-WA0003.jpg

I finish up, clean my plate, keep it and dash to the Accounts Section. A crowd is there already: Nigerians, we too like money! The allawee is N19,800, forget that talk of it being increased to N31,800. To get it, you need to present your NYSC ID card. It is unlike the transport allowance of N1,800 which you need to present your meal ticket for. The Bicycle Allowance is N1,400. In total, you get N23,000 in cash from NYSC at the end of your 3 weeks in camp. I have collected my transport allowance. And it’s not even enough for transport anyway. I spent nothing less than N10,000 from Lagos to Katsina, so N1,800 is like a drop out of an ocean. I am yet to get my N1,400. Each time I go, I am told a new story—”Come back, come back, you keep coming at the wrong time.”

As soon as I get my allawee, I pocket it and find my way out of there. It’s just like someone said, “Some people go leave this camp with three allawee, you go see.”

E no go be my own allawee, biko.

Read the rest of the entry: https://www.zikoko.com/life/nysc-diary-day-18-you-learn-to-value-freedom-in-camp/

If you need a template to email your Senator:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/13Sywelq_PElmvD4Hetz4qkOc8MNT5S7VZvHH8t8idVM/edit

NYSC Diary Day 17: Platoon 2 Finally Won Something

5:36 AM
Let me tell you, the day after the inter-platoon drill is when everybody’s morale finally goes downhill. Why? Well, when you have done the main thing for which you have been practicing for days, what else remains? What else but to think about going home?

My first thought when I wake up is, “Are we going to do morning drill again today? Shebi we are done with the competition?”

This is a question that will be answered when I get to the parade ground. I take a bath, I get dressed, I head to the parade ground.

6:15AM
We are (not) marching. When I get to the parade ground, I realise that everyone came with the same energy as me: slow response to commands, and and I-Don’t-Care attitude. The soldiers realise that we cannot be controlled, and they are only exercising little power. Morning meditation done, they try to arrange us into groups, as though we are preparing to march.

“Cover in threes,” they say. Which threes?

Our platoon commandant arranges us as we march. He then begins to take numbers. Before he takes mine, I disappear to OBS for my duty. Apparently, this will be my saving grace.

8:45 AM
Breakfast is bread and tea. No boiled egg, and the bread is a large one cut in half, so maybe NYSC don broke. Someone from OBS brings akara from Mammy market and I have never been more delighted to eat food.

After my own segment of the program ends, I move around. The next thing to do is prepare for SAED lectures, but not me and them, abeg.

10:20 PM
Apparently, I am not the only one who has chosen the path of idleness. At the staff canteen where I lounge, there are idle corps members like me, lazy youths who are sitting in twos and threes and having a blissful post-breakfast conversation. Right next to me, there are four ladies eating bread and mayonnaise straight from the bottle. They comment on the thickness of the bread, the softness, the wonder of such a hefty loaf costing only N200. They stir Bournvita and Peak milk in a cup to make cocoa. They talk about people in their extended family who are rich, people who spend money anyhow.

I drift off.

Read the rest of the entry: https://www.zikoko.com/life/nysc-diary-day-17-platoon-2-finally-won-something/