Pray4meJC:
For privacy reasons, I'm an old nairaland member.
About 22 / 23 years ago, a classmate in secondary school lured us into the act of masturbation. Few days later, I started practicing the act and eventually ejaculated after tough stimulation lasting almost two hours. It got to a point I was almost getting addicted doing the unclean act.
Thereafter I graduated to pornography when internet was just starting in Nigeria.
I went further to committing adultery and fornication in the heart rather than with the body by peeping on girls and women having their bathe all to fulfill my lustful eyes. I even watched couple have sex by peeping.
Even though I have stopped and repented from these like 12 years back, I still find myself struggling with other bigger problems called wet dreams, unusual erections and wormlike vibrations in my body and sometimes body freezing at night for 30 seconds to 1 minute.
These wet dreams occurred 2 - 3 times in a week and repeat same in like manner every week compulsorily throughout the year and go on and on the following year. I have gone for several dry fasting and prayer deliverance to no avail.
I don't see myself having sex in the dream when these wet dreams occurred. Sometimes, when the wet dream is about happening I'm conscious and try screaming the name or blood of Jesus but it seems am just very powerless and before I know it, semen has spilled out and I will remain like that. Sleep is distorted and all efforts to sleep is impossible.
Sometimes, when I go to bed early by 8PM and I get caught up by wet dreams by 9:30PM, it means sleep for that night is gone completely. I sleep maximum 2 hours daily because this stuff has messed my mind and life up.
Whenever I lie down to sleep, different uninvited thoughts start forcing themselves on my brain both those that happened today and the ones of years ago. I always try deflecting them by replacing them with bible quote or singing praise to God in my head.
I woke up since 2:30 am today with a wet burser soaked in semen and started typing this because I couldn't no longer sleep. Afternoon sleep is very impossible for me as it has never worked for even 1 minute
I'm greatly troubled and worried because I read my bible and pray before going to bed. I dream about my former schools etc.
As I speak, this stuff has rendered me financially devastated with millions in debt. Could not obtain university admission 19 years ago, brain can't simulate, not married, no kids. Very recently this year my health (details withheld due to family members who might find this posts) is suffering as I can't do anything to earn a living as I easily sored tired in the heart.
PS: At night, every day for all these years, uncontrollable strong erections will suddenly start building up whether I put up underwear or not and I think this is more than the 'morning erections ' science talks about. This is pure spiritual manipulation for me. Same thing happens when I get close to some females whether matured or underage, stupid uncontrollable strong erections suddenly pop up without any sexual thoughts whatsoever to these innocent females. Unfortunately, these arousal is also a problem because it inhibits low self esteem, shame and quick withdrawal from whatever discuss I'm having to avoid the bulge being noticed.
Lastly, a year before I got myself ensnared in all these evil activities, I was already developing memory loss and a single headache that almost took my life prior to all these. The headache can be best described as "sawchain and hammer " tearing the skull to pieces and lasted for hours and resistance to drugs. That was the first and last time I experienced such and any other for that matter.
Where do I go from here? Depression is real when solutions are being defiled. This is a psychological and medical problem. And moreso, try to have sex physically then start seeing a therapist that's all you need. No be everything me spiritual problem. Africans too like to dey mislead people |
Christianity Etc › Re: Wet Dreams: A Thorn In My Flesh Going To Two Decades by Biliki10: 12:11pm On Apr 24, 2022
