₦airaland Forum

NwaAmaikpe:





The fact that no prophet in the bible prophesied on the coming of a football maverick like C.Ronaldo quakes the very foundation of my christan faith.

C Ronaldo is the greatest of all times.
Greatest ever, greatest to be.
Gravity defying headers, impossible dribbles, imaginary goals and it just doesn't stop.

It is up to the generation after ours to create a religion in honour of him because not even Buddha was this great.

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

RisenPhoenix:
Give it like 8 or 9 years more until the last child is old enough to take it emotionally, before you divorce her. Otherwise, because you're in the US, she will get custody and you may not even get proper visitation rights. If you are sad because of her behaviour with them when you are there, imagine how much harder it will hit you when you are not there and she is using their misery to spite you. Apart from the kids, you have nothing to attach you to her; so learn to ignore her, live your life, and don't bother yourself with what she does.

Oh, and no more sex. First, you're not her sex slave for 'when she wants it', and second, you might catch something nasty to add to your woes.

Meanwhile, open a new secret bank account in Nigeria and start moving your funds down there. Very gradually sell off anything valuable that you have and put it in hidden investments in Nigeria (stocks, bonds, real estate). Whatever you do, don't keep any documentation at home, get a safe deposit box or keep them with a trusted family member. Also, if you are working at a job, get ready to be fired just before divorce. Leave just a very little bit of savings exposed in your long term bank account and apply for unemployment benefits (the US has them even for certain categories of non-citizens). Take out a first, second and third mortgage on the house if you can. That way, she gets almost nothing from you. You can then hang around the US for a few more years until your eldest ones graduate college and your youngest is above 18, then come back to Nigeria and live off your investments. By the time she realises that the kids hate her and everyone has abandoned her to be shitting her pants in her senile old age, she will understand how important manners are in life.

TheArchangel:
Yeah right. I want to hear the wife's story too.

I doubt Saint OP has anything to his name.
They've all ganged up advising the saint to divorce his wife but will tell the woman to endure for the sake of the kids. Hypocritical Nigerians.

EkoErrands:
My brother man, I can relate with you because I dey inside the same thing now but my own is better because no child yet and no "legal" marriage yet. I will advice you to be patient for the children to get older when they finally go to college ...then you vamuse....the good thing is by that age they can enter train and come and visit you. just endure small...do like you don't know what you are doing.

Belafonte:
HBP at 48. You obviously don’t value your life. If you die she will move on speedily and your children will live their lives with occasional, random memories of you. None of them will follow you into the grave. Open your sense.

Divorce is a super valid option. You will be shocked to know that you are even failing your kids. Dem no dey take soft hand handle woman. Your wife is a bully to your household because you have given her free rein to behave without control. Someone is abusing your children and you cannot defend and protect them because she’s your wife and their mother? Oga, give yourself brain. Parental abuse leads to low self esteem and resentment in children. Protect your damn kids, mahn.

If you’re scared of being divorce-raped, draw a two year plan that involves you transferring your assets to Nigeria and starting a business here. Finally, sell off the house when everything done set. Na madness dem dey take cure madness.

OR

You can just sit there and lament your years away as your ill-mannered wife ruins your life and that of your children. Your choice.

Martinez39s:
Before you divorce her, trying moving back to Nigeria to settle. If you divorce her over there, the divorce courts will demolish you and that would be a more devastating end to what is already a terrible situation. Beside, you are the willful architect of your ordeal via your stupidity. You saw signs of toxicity during your courtship but you still married her instead of dumping her like all smart men would do. Not only that, it had to take you 14 good years of a terrible marriage before you could think of doing something. And show how great your stupidity is and how weak your spine is, you are not even sure on what to do. Weak and stupid men don't get or deserve any pity from me.

cococandy:
Don’t beg for love.

Martinez39s:
What's your point exactly? You tried to say something but your emotions and disdain for men and the nonexistent misogynistic patriarchy collided with reasoning such that you ended up saying nothing. I am sure you are very much like the OP's wife and you support her that's why you never condemned the toxicity of his wife and you seem happy and satisfied with the OP's ordeal.

"Oga, you are taking all what you wrote from her because you are not in Nigeria. Assuming you are here, you would have sent her packing."
What the hell is this nonsense supposed to illustrate and how is it relevant? You are full of shìt.

"Kudos, just know you are not doing any good to the kids."
If a man divorcing his terrible and toxic wife isn't doing any good to his kids, would you also say a woman divorcing a terrible and toxic husband isn't doing any good to her kids?