₦airaland Forum

LawyerLomo:


Na em being disturb me say em wan come witness watin dey make me dey always rush comot for room every single hour. na him i tell em say "na brah ola dey host show called cum inside" na him dey say make dey follow come witness the show oh! ah, abi i wrong?

Baba you dey burst my brain...

LawyerLomo:
Less I forget. this crate of drink no go do the guest way me and Ann2012 invite
talkmore of sharing with the remaining guests. No talk say I stingy oh. na you bring insufficient drink come make I carry my own first before I go forget.

Lawyer... You no better person... You go pack all the people for your compound come... Nah you go give th :Dem item7 o

Codalee:
We are here again

Hail you bro

FatherBona:
Nice write up

Thanks

ericbertrand:
No offense bro but your stories are dross. You need to do better.

Then don't read... Your life can also be rubbish but we're just managing it.

Humor +Romance Thriller


***************



Guyz! Guyz! Guyz! Guyz!

How many times did i call us? Four times right. Oyah drag your ears and listen to me. I wouldn't repeat myself again after this. If you like listen, it's your own. And if you don't, you are on your own.

  Anytime you meet a girl for the first time and it happens that things went well as planned in your mind as usual, make sure you win the league.

Don't disgrace your family, don't spoil your family name, because you are actually representing your family. Make sure you bring home  the trophy.

Not that you will play 20 minutes of first half and you will be raising hands for your coach to substitute you. Hope you see how Sanchez Career turns to in Man United. He is Chopping bench as if he is a receptionist.

I know some of you are lost. Let me bring you back alive. Make sure you perform well anytime you meet a new girl, a new chick, a new Shima, a new surie or whatever you refer them as.

Let the winning difference be large. Don't play 1-0 and say you won the game. When it come to that way, man must win at least 5-0. If it's friendly match as of quickie, 2-0 is allowed and it still depends on if you are home or away.

If she invites you to her crib and you won 0-2, it's a nice one. In championsleague, there is a point for away goal.

If she comes to your crib for the first time and she ate, drink, collected transport and left, my brother that is a big loss. She won 3goals to nil. With a point for scoring away goal.

If it happens that she ate and drank, you need 3 goals above to win the match.

Now imagine, after she ate and drank, it's now time to kapaichumarimarichupako and you did just one round and you gave up.

My brother, you have disgrace the whole Africa as a continent, you disgrace the gender called Male, both animals and human being. You disgraced the whole 36 states in Nigeria. You disgraced your state in particular, you disgraced your local government. You disgrace your Health Education teacher in primary school, your Inter Science teacher in Junior Secondary School, your Biology teacher in Senior Secondary School and the whole of Private, State and Federal Universities, Polytechnics and College of Education in Nigeria. And lastly, you disgraced your penis.

I'm not outstanding, something happened last week during a friendly match with a girl last week in my crib.

I actually met this babe at One Church programme.

Lord forgive your Son for he doesn't know what he's doing. Amen.

Moving forward, i engaged the babe in a conversation and things went soft.

I collected her number. She was actually feeling the boy. She said she likes my open teeth and blushed over that. Mumu me (smiles).

Cutting the long story short, three days later after a long chats and engagements on Whatsapp, i invited her down to my crib and she accepted. She promised to come in the evening. That day was actually a Saturday.

That day, I don't know where the strength that upon me was from, as if i took cocaine. I did all the house chores in my crib. I clean everywhere, filled my bucket with water. Swept and moped every corners of my house, even the wall. I cleaned the ceiling fan, Tucked my bed sheet very well on my bed like that hotels Sprayed some room freshener inside my room. Washed my toilet and used Hapic. Fueled the Gen should in case NEPA wants to be unfortunate.

I then took my bath and brushed my teeth with Orange juice.
(sharp guys will understand the purpose of brushing with orange juice)

It's 5:30pm, i called baby to know if she's coming and she said she will be on her way in five minutes time.

Hurray! My mood was like Cassper Nyovest's Mama i made it.

I drop the top to the Porsche and I stick out My head and scream out "Mama I made it!" (Dancing)

Voooooooom! That was the sound of a bike. I peeped through my window. Baby is here already o.

My mood right at that time was like "baby tani ki ofe wa to sope no! She no know say one day man go blow. Life nah one by one or two by two, my padi no worry your time go show" Orezi's double your hustle song. (Lol)

There was a knock on the door...

"Yes, who's that". I said softly with swag. inamean inamsaying (lol)

Shhhhhhhhhh! You people should stop making jest of me nah. You want her to feel as if I'm too anxious to see her?. (winks)

I walked to the door and open. She was standing right in my front. She gave me a warm hug and i embraced it. She actually smell nice and looks Innocent.

I welcomed her and she went...... Omg! She sat on the Chair! Why did i even bought this chair at the first place.

Which kind yawa be this nah! Making like difficult for someone. (Angry)

"Hope you are comfortable there, you can as well come sit on the bed". I said.

"No thank you, I'm OK here". She said as she smile.

Aye o! My matter don cast. Early goal like that of Liverpool and Tottenham Champions league final.

I smiled and brought out some juice from the fridge and served her with a glass cup.

"Thank You". She said

"Let me prepare some noodles so we can both dine". I said as i walked to the kitchen.

"No nooooow, I'm OK". She said shyly.

"Don't worry, i will garnish it the way you will like it". I said while preparing the food.

After placing the noodles on the gas cylinder, i went inside the room and boooom! My eyes and her eyes Jammed and she starred at me romantically as i walked in.

She stood up and came closer to me, placed her hand on my chest.

"I want you to Bleep me". She whispered.

I heard it! I heard it!

My mood then was like "Say right now i don dey blow like trumpet... parara pararapararara... I don't need to blow my trumpet parara rarararara... Dem be the plug but nah we be the sucket... Parara rararararara". Tekno ft Wizkid Mama. I know am stupid (lol)


I grabbed her close without hesitation and start smooching her tightly.

We kissed for a while. And i pushed her to the bed, stretch my left hand for my Shin guard and put in on and booooom! Am in. Kapaichurimarichupako!

My mood then was like "the money wey we geti o! e no go finish o! the God wey dey bless us o! e no go finish o! Soft bembembembem! Soft - Money (wink)

No! No! No! No! Nooooooooooooooo! my village people at it again! Aye mi temi bami! I have Cum in just two minutes... Who did i offend! Who did this to me! Who want to put me to shame! My life has been ruined! (crying heavily)

I fell off like a mango tree looking tired and gasping for breathe.

Something came to my mind. I placed noodles on fire. I jumped off the bed to go and check. The indomie just started boiling and i thought the whole noodles must have got burnt.

My village people get me o! So i first indomie don! Kuku kill me... (Wailing)

I was feeling shy going back to the room. My life is finished!

I got to the room, I saw the babe dressing up.

"Whatsup babe, you dressing up?" I asked.

"Yes! I want to start going". She replied.

"Wouldn't you wait and eat". I said feeling sorrowed.

"No i can't wait, i want to catch up with someone". She said as she picked her bag and walked to the door.

"Wait now. Let me package the food in take away for you". I said as i rushed for her.

"Take away". She said in a mockery tone and pushed the door open and left.

Booom! I died.....

McBrooklyn:
Bros this your story dey make sense ooo.... Gotta hand it to you, you so goddamn good with the description especially the comical aspect

Abi bro.... will serve you more....

NzeSteve:
I can't stop laffin ooo

next update

Abi.... Next episode coming tru....

daddio:
I used to see things that could be use for its treatment that's why I'm asking (I meant no harm) and as I'm not used to saving those things that could be used I'd been trying to get them back when I read about it on one of your threads.

No am just asking... am not trying to be aggressive.

Just eat regularly bro... Stay away from too much acidic fruits and food, too much of carbohydrates and oil. Take a lot of milk and water.


In fact get addicted to Nutri Milk... Nah so i take cure my own o....

daddio:
Abeg shey na true say una get ulcer?

Why you ask?

LawyerLomo:
Oya now. come report your case with four bottle of origin first.

OK sir... Hope I will win the case... Make my matter no be like Atiku matter o

ericsmith:
that is how olodo rabatas do correction taken

Lol

LawyerLomo:
But him no survive because yawa gas! neighbors come later realize the reality of the matter

Yawa Gas no be small....

LawyerLomo:
bro no be road we dey oh! why you go say junction?
Brother it's is juncture sir. Thank you for taking correction

Lawyer e be Like say I go hire you... I won sue brah blessing and brah segun

reccy:
Haha haha haha haha. Guy, you no go kill me. See how I dy laff and ppl dy look me one kain eye.

Haha haha haha haha... My belle ooo

Baba e no easy... No be small beating

adeosuntunde:
Baba GATS feel among na

Abi my brother... But my matter still cast...

LawyerLomo:
you bleep-up! why you go lie say na new gen you buy?

I no want make my matter cast nah.... But e later cast

ericsmith:
bruh segun no need beat that boy , the daily oppression is enough to give brodaola BP .
At these junction someone needs to dial olori ebi of brodaola family. kilode !!

Haaaa! Na me dem beat like this

Ologogoro:
Congrats Bodaola

Tnx BRo...

Haaaa! My matter Cast

Funmmyastic:
This got me cracked up.Lol

abi

YoungBruzzy:
Thanks for the update

Welcome bro

Chidave9:
Ahahahahah my guy the great fight

Greatest fight

Ann2012:
your face go don swell oooo

Thanks for the update

Anni my baeby

Previously On CUM INSIDE.


Then i got up from the bed and put on my boxers. I remembered i put On the Generator i hired, but it wasn't On when i woke up.

"Maybe the fuel in it is finished". I thought. "But why did Zainab left without telling me".

I then picked my phone to check what the time was. It's 6:40pm already.

"Omo I sleep o". I said to myself.

I then went outside the room to see what outside looks like and to know what's wrong with the Gen.

Shockingly! the Gen was not outside.

"Ah ah! Where Gen? Who move my Gen". I said to myself in shock as i looked around.


Episode 14

Brah Segun's Gen was still on and making loud noice. I looked at the Gen angrily. It's doing me as if i should just off the Gen.

"Who carry Gen here! E be like say person won die for this compound ba! Who carry Gen here!" I ranted but no one could hear me because of Brah Segun's useless Gen that was making stupid noise.

"Who carry.....". I rushed to Brah Segun's Gen and off it. Move to the gate and banged it hardly.

Everyone started coming out in shock. Ladies were rushing out wearing there wrappers to know what's going on. Brah Blessing came out putting on one faded boxers and extra large singlet.

"Who carry my Gen here! Make the person bring am out o! I dey craze o! I fit kill person o!" I ranted.

Everyone started murmuring to each other.

"I go search every rooms for this Gen o! Gen wey i just buy with Carton". I said in anger even when i knew i was lying.

"Excuse me Brah Ola, no be your Gen be this one". Brah Blessing said pointing at Brah Segun's Gen.

"Your eye dey pain you? This one nah Gen? How you go call that dirty Gen my Gen!". I fired back at him and everyone tries to stop me from blasting him.

"Brah Ola, mind how you talk to me. Mind how you talk to me! Or else!". He said pointing his finger at him and and coming closer to fight. Other neighbors held him back.

"Or else wetin! Make wuna leave am! Wetin you wan do? Who you be. E be like say nah you carry the Gen. Do wetin you wan do! I dey fear you?". I ranted and moved closer to him as Aunty Vero dragged me back.

"Make wuna calm down nah. Wuna won dey fight like woman?" Aunty Vero said holding me back.

"Nah me and you for this compound o! If i no deal with you, call me bastard!" Brah Blessing ranted as he slaps the wall hardly and went inside his room.

"You be bastard before nah... Oga bring my Gen. Nah you carry am". I fired back furiously.

"Where Brah Segun even dey sef... Brah Segun!" Aunty Vero said and move to knock on Brah Segun's door.

"who is that nah!" Brah Segun shouted.

"Nah Vero dey talk o! Come outside make we see you. Matter dey outside o!" Aunty Vero replied.

Everyone was busy pleading me to take thing easy. That i shouldn't make trouble with Brah Blessing.

Few minutes later, Brah Segun finally opened the door and came outside sweating like someone that just ran a marathon race with only a boxer on him soaked with sweat and his Joy stick pointing up hardly as he gasp for breathe.

"This mumu dey Bleep when my Gen is missing". I said in my mind.

"Wetin happen... Who off my Gen?". He asked furiously.

"Them don thief your neighbor Gen o". Aunty Vero said.

Everyone stares and i stood at the front of my door thinking of what to do next.

"Which of my neighbor?" He asked in shock.

"nah Brah Ola Gen o". Everyone chorused.

"Mtcheeew... Naim wuna call me for". He said furiously. "abeg make wuna no knock for my door again. Dem thief him Gen, make him buy another one nah".

"Since wen i know you for this compound, i know say you know get sence... U no get sense at all, because if you get sense, you no go talk shit out of your mouth". I fired back.

"Nah me you dey talk to? Nah me..." He ran to me with a blow on my face,/we started fighting and neighbors tries to separate us.

I punched him on his face. Dragged his dick and tore his boxers and he was unclad. He punched me on my face and i fell to the ground. He climbed me and started punching me as people dragged him up from me.

I gained strength and pounced on him again, punched him on the face. Hit him hard on his back as if it was wrestling.

He screamed on the low as i tightened his neck. Aunty Vero bit me at my back and dragged my boxers and i used my left hand to stop her.

Other neighbors also joined in separating us and pleaded with us to stop fighting.

Suddenly, Brah Blessing just jumped out from no where and started punching me, taking side of Brah Segun. They both beat me and put me to the ground and hit me concurrently.

Neighbors hesitated before separating us. I have received about fifteen hard punches on my face before the neighbors came for my rescue... (Cries).

Huhuhu! Haaaa! Huuhuhu (cries bitterly)

When I was beating Brah Segun, you people were distracting my punch. Now that Brah Blessing collaborated with him, you all hesitated to distract their punches... It seems no one love me in this compound... Look at my face.... (Cries).

After separating us, i was still trying to pounce on Brah Blessing when suddenly, Suleiman the Gen repairer walked in...

He couldn't recognised me as i have developed a Chinese face through the punches of Brah Blessing and Brah Segun.

Brah Segun rushed inside unclad as Aunty Vero followed him pleading with him to let peace reign.

"Mr Ola, wetin happen nah... I don come check you before, you dey sleep. I don carry the Gen. The owner don come and he won collect am. So i come off the Gen carry am go".... Suleiman said and everyone was shocked.

"But wetin cause this fight nah". He asked and bloom! i gave him a dirty slap........


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