₦airaland Forum

NobleStag007:
If you cannot take it any longer.. leave his house so you won't die of depression.

And leaving his house also means can you afford to take care of yourself and your daughter?

Or stay away from having sex with him ..so he won't infect you

Yes I can afford to take care of myself and children but I will have to change my daughter school to a cheaper one.

Dogalmighty17:
If you can take care of yourself and your kids, I'll advise you to go for a divorce. On no ground should you return to the person you call a husband.

Once can be forgiven but twice? And there's even domestic violence involved. Your marriage has broken down and that's a reality you have to face. Be strong and put an end to that marriage.

Thanks I returned back because I wasn't aware of the secret and now I am regretting I don't know since I returned back if leaving will be a good option for my children.

Kobojunkie:
You knew your husband was cheating on you yet you continued to have unprotected sex with him all that while and now have had a baby after it all. So, why the sudden concern about the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and whatnot? 😐😐😐😐

Na the children caught in the middle of all this disgusting foolishness I pity. Apart from them, it seems to be that you all— the adults — deserve each other.

Let me clarify after the first reconciliation I didn't have sex with him immediately he went for check up for stds and after everything was clear we started having sex but the second reconciliation I wasn't even aware he was back with her because after catching her with another man while the teins were 3 months old he had vowed to not sleep with her again. The second time he didn't do any stds test because he swore that he didn't sleep with his baby mama or any other women , I was very stupid to easily belived him that's why I am regretting sleeping with him unprotected risking my life not knowing that he was back with his baby mama and they even had a child.

dawnomike:
Wow! This is really a tough matter...
Please, go back to your home because of your kids but please, just mind your business and your kids for the sake of peace.
Only God can change your type of husband at this point... Just do the right things that'll give you peace.
I pray your husband comes back to his senses sooner than later.

Thanks I am in my home I returned back before I put to bed to my son but I didn't know that the baby mama third child belong to him , I though the child belong to the guy in Malaysia. If I knew the truth earlier I would have never returned to him.

sisisioge:
Wowzerful! Naija men have some serious latitudes mehn! No wonder, their wings get clipped anyhow in the abroad

To this matter, Aunty which kind wajala come be this nau? How we for do? He cheats, he physically and mentally abuses you,he sexually endangers you, he turned you into a maid raising another woman's children, he disrespected you to the point that his side chic comes into your home as she pleases and even attack you.....you come dey ask wetin to do? Aunty, forgive him o. It is well.

Hmmm I don't think I will ever forgive him again

Sonnobax15:

Too long an interesting story but for once I had to read a story on Nairaland to the very end...

Well, madam,all I have to say is that your focus right now should be based on your kids......at least, God don bless you with a son and a daughter and that's what your so-called co-wife is yet to achieve.. ...

As for your husband,let him keep on Tu-facing until his diick will meet his final annihilation.

Thanks for the advice I am trying to focus on my children and business but it is not working because I hate him so much being in the same house with him is killing me.

Good evening everybody I am need of mature advice because I am depressed, it happened that I was married fourteen years ago I gave birth to one daughter who is 12 years old. I couldn't conceived again for so many years we had been to hospital and we were fine no medical issue at all. For seven years of having our daughter my husband was faithful he hadn't cheated on me or anything but on the 8th year he started messing around with different women. Although I wasn't aware because I trusted him a lot and I wasn't paying attention until 2021 a random number messaged me on WhatsApp sending me pic of her and my hubby and scan so she was pregnant for my hubby. As shocked I was I couldn't waited for him to returned home I called him immediately crying bitterly asking him if he had impregnated someone else he answered me with so much pride that he tough my reason for calling was something important but I am calling him to ask him atupid questions adding even if is true that he had impregnated 100 women what is my business. He hanged up the phone , I was very hurt by his response I decided to wait until he got home and his response to me was so bad that he told me he wasn't satisfied with the only child I had with him and he wanted more children and he is free to impregnated women one after another. We had a heated argument which led to him beating me in front of our daughter. Which had led us to stopped talking for 6 months while he was doing his things and I was also doing my things focusing on my shop and child. Meanwhile the baby mother had twins girl for him while we weren't talking and 3 months after having the babies he caught her with another man at the house he was renting for her which led to a big fight and he was arrested. He spent 2 weeks in jail while the baby mama refused to bailed him and I was also minding my business I didn't visit him or anything because I was hurt. Then his family went to beg the baby mama to bail her I don't know much details but he was released after they begged her. The day he was bailed out of sudden he apologise to me begging me for forgiveness well I didn't forgive him immediately I was still hurt but I had forgiven him finally. He become the sweetest man I ever met in the beginning and our marriage was working fine and we were stronger again. Then the baby mama was begging him through his family to take care of the kids because he blocked her everywhere and the only way she could have reached him was through his family. His elder brother called him asking him to take care of the children but he refused. He told me everything his brother were asking him to take care of the twins, hmmm it wasn't easy for me to try to convinced him after all the pain I went through because of their mother but after all the children were innocents they didn't have to suffer because of their mother mistake. I told him to take care of them but before he could do so he have to conduct a dna test because if she was able to sleep with another man 3 months after their birth there's a possibility she had multiply partners and the twin may not be his.the dna test were conducted after 3 months and the twins were his and he started sending upkeep money every month then when they clocked 2 years old she met with a guy living in Malaysia and she dropped the twins with my inlaws. My husband begged me to accept them so that he can bring them home, hmmm it wasn't easy but I had accepted. Where the problem now started their mother will come at my house anyhow without announcing and she will say she come to meet her girls. I wasn't happy for her to be coming to my house to see her girls although I can never stopped her from seeing her girls but coming to my house was a no. I told my hubby anytime she want to meet her kids he should dropped them at his elder brother house so they can meet over there but she still coming to my house to meet her girl and when I had enough I told my hubby to return the girls back to her but she refused. Me and him started having issue because of his baby mama if she come to my house she will enter my parlour sitting relaxing and I had enough the was a time I had to dragged her and ask her to leave , she slapped me and I slapped her back and thrown her and her girls out of the house. That evening when my hubby returned we had a heated argument which led to him beating me again for the second time since we got married. I left the house and I went to stay with my sister for 3 good months i found out I was pregnant but I refused to tell him and I kept as a secret to him, he never bothered to call. I never called him too meanwhile I was away he was back with his baby mama. To cut the long story short last year I was blessed with a bouncing baby boy after 11 years of waiting to conceive again , my hubby and I got back together before I put to bed and I just discovered that her baby mama third child who is actually a girl belong to him so the reason why he was keeping quiet when his baby maman use to walked into my house anytime she feels like it was because he impregnated her hoping that she would give birth to a boy but god confused her she gave birth to another girl and I gave birth to my boy. This secret is very hard for me to swallow I really hate my hubby for impregnated her once again knowing fully well she was messing around with other men when she had the wins. My heart is really shattered and going back to her he had put our lives in risk of catching diseases. He is begging me but I am finding it very hard to forgive him I don't know what to do please help?

SHABASHA:
when i was about her age..i do sleep in the sitting room which is after parents room..i woke up to a funny breathing..i went into their room..i thought my dad was beating my mom...which he has never done before i became more worried..i went straight touched my moms head ..my dad remained still..i asked my mom is she is okay..she said yes..i went back to sleep..nobody said anything about it..but it never left my memory..i didnt understand what actually went on that night untill my first day to watch porn..so i will advice to talk to your daughter..7years is not to small to know about sex education.all she need to know

Thanks I will start teaching her sex education for from tomorrow but I don’t know how to start . I’m a bit nervous

Mariangeles:
Thank God for that.

Thank you my dear

Mariangeles:
She'll eventually grow into it, and probably laugh about it in the future. For now, she's probably the most miserable 7yr old

She is not miserable she is doing fine playing with the neibor kids

frozen70:
To me ohhh, I think you have to let her know that you guys are trying to have another baby that's why she met you and dad playing

Then ask her what gender she wants

After that, tell her to pray for God to help you and daddy get another child

Then you advise her that anytime any body wants to touch your body, run away because they have HIV AIDS

sex education should be taught to these children at early age so that they know what it is about

Then you guys can go to eateries and have a meal and when you cone back tell her they took her out to enjoy herself, so she should pray hard for you to have another baby

I don't want to blame you for the carelessness because you must have learnt your lessons

My dear I don’t want to go thru this baby talk with her anymore, last time it ended up with so many tears from her , she was even ready to go and stay with the neibor because over there they have many children she will play with me she was just tired of being the only child. This thing was stressful for me now she has forgotten about that, I don’t want to remind her again

Mizwisdom:
Eya, it's okay, education isn't everything. The correct spelling is "caught"

Thanks I corrected it

Thanks all. The door is faulty she know to always knock before entering the room because I chatted with her asking her why did she not knock before coming in, she said she heard the music in our room she tote we are dancing that why she entered to join us to dance too and I ask her what did she saw she first said nothing and I ask her again why did she run she said nothing mummy I want to go and eat she was shy to talk to me, I then sit her on my lap and was petting her so she can talk to me what she saw she then said ok mummy I tell you but don’t tell my daddy, I said ok talk she then said everything she saw us doing while we didn’t know she was standing there and when we notice she was there she had to run because she was scared of her daddy to beat her. then I told her me and her daddy was playing something only married people do and is bad for children to do and next time it will be better for her to knock. She said ok and that was all , but I notice she is Afraid of her daddy she is not talking to me much like she use to before maybe she thinks he was hurting me she is now scared of me should my husband talk to her too?

Thanks all

Stranger18:
Cut? Really?

Sorry meant to say cote

Plz hux I nid ur help ooh my 7yes daughte caught t me and hubby this afternoon having sex actually she was playing downstairs with the neibor children we was not expecting her to come back anytime soon to my surprise she just entered our room boom hubby was on the top of me she saw both us naked then run. We was very embarrassed he wanted to go and beat her I told him to forgive b/cos it’s not her fault and we don’t know what to tell her. She is been quiet didn’t ask me anything about what she saw. She is now asleep but I can’t stop thinking about it. Is it necessary for me to talk to her about the incident in the morning or I should just leave it and carry on as normal. Thanks