₦airaland Forum

thanks all, I will update as the events go on

Draslo:
If I say you should file for divorce now these Nairaland vampires will come for me.

I contemplated that early this year

maureensylvia:
Awww, just be patient with her, since you have done your best to try talk to her to change, and she refused.

Carry your cross bro..
Just Ignore her acts
Also try and make yourself happy.

Bro, do not divorce or beat her abeg. Just do what makes you happy and take good care of your health, constant nagging can ruin ones sanity.

My fellow gender shaa

Modified... For the sex part, most women's libido reduces after pregnancy and childbirth... You may consult a doc on this.

I love your sense of judgement. thank you

soundOsonic:
Your case is simple.
What you two need is alone time.
Send your kids to their grandparents.
10years of marriage? Your flame is lost you just need to rekindle such flame. 10 years is enough time for the both of you to change.

I would have given you steps on how to make it work but life doesn't have a manual. But at least let me drop what I would do.

1. You need to be a teenager once more. You too are far apart, play are favorite song when you too started dating and walk up to her with a dance and smile and hold her hands, she will try to make you stop just insist until you get a hug so as you two can get a slow dance and just whisper to her " I miss you". Though it will be strange to you and a drag just try it.

2. After doing that when you both are at work, send her naughty text messages. To build up the sexual tension with love emojis. You are only trying to put her in the mood. When you see her in person call her babe, or fine girl to make her feel herself. Compliments her body too.

3. Have sense with her, when it is done tell her you have missed her so much, apologize for anything that comes to your mind and ask her if she wants to apologize for anything, if she says nothing just say let us renew our vows here. And chip in some things she wouldn't do in the vow she is to say. Note: you tell her to repeat after you her own vow, and you repeat after her the vow she wants from you

4. Keep having sex and keep listening to her and less talking.

5. Final steps starts behaving like teenagers when you are with her. When she gets angry hold her and and tell her everything will be fine. If you are angry tell her why you are angry in a sad tone.

If you follow this you are good to go. You two are more of a father and mother and have just forgotten how be lovers to each other.

thanks but not going to be easy though

HarunaWest:
Well something makes her sad..ask her if she is tired if the marriage then..God knows the day I get tired of a spouse, I will ask her to go..I see marriage as a means to an end i.e The kids and companionship et al....When eye clear, marriage becomes overated.

her problem is she is not ready to love any man, she only needed to have children of her own

drmikeadams:
U saw the signs and still jumped in.

I did not see any sign, I think she covered her real self just to bear children. she is not the loving type.

HarunaWest:
Try to find out if you haven't offended her in anyway...If she speaks and changes, fine but if she doesn't...Speak to her one more time to change her attitude. If she refused,...Divorce her....Everyone deserves to be happy in his/her. It's a relationship not a trap. Remove yourself so both of you can be happy.

no amount of talking can change her, I think is just not a happy person naturally. though she might not mean bad but i can't cope with her nature snymore

maureensylvia:
Too much use of personal pronoun I, I, I

Something must be eating her up but she may refuse to communicate with you.

You are the man of the house, talk to her as the head of the family... Ask her to open up to you.

For the rude attitude and bad temperament, no one deserves that cos that alone shortens life span. You can talk to her family about it.

Life is too short to endure a miserable life, marriage no be boy boy u will go and come back.

Work on your marriage my dear.

Goodluck


PS: is she working?

thanks for your concern, she has her personal business but of late she stopped due to high B.P she has.
her parents have enquired what the problem is. I have also talked to her on several occasions. all to no avail.

the wife I married about 10 years ago started misbehaving to me 8 years ago. I have been tolerating her bad temperament for a long time. she keep being rude and lacks every respect for me. I provide for my family of 3 of children with my little resources. our sex live is almost not existing. I never deliberately picked up a quarrel or hit her in my life. we hardly talk to each other at home, nothing about me excites her anymore. I no longer find her suitable to live with.
please how do I handle this case. I am in a big emotional pain and this woman does not care.
we still live together but I now hate her.
Her parents are never in support of her attitudes. they constantly pray for change in her character and also pleads with me to ignore and love her
I can't report her to
my parents because they were against my marriage to a girl outside my ethnic group citing cultural differences could be a big challenge.
Honestly her attitudes are a big problem to me