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I know of John wick for now...

I HAVE BEEN HERE, ALL ALONE 2

hissing like the cat he’d just called her, she said, “Don’t call me that! And how many times have I told you, you are not the boss of me!”
Grinning, he replied, “I’ve lost count. But I do remember that you were six years old the first time you said it.”
Grumbling, crossing her arms over her chest and staying her ground, she said, “For all the good it’s done me.”
Exasperated, Kevin said, “Fine, I didn’t want to do this here, but you leave me no choice.” With that, he pushed her back against the car, using the weight of his pelvis to hold her there, letting her feel one facet of his desire, but knowing he had to make her understand the extent of it. With a deep breath, he said, “You’ve been a part of my life since you were six, and I was eight. So I can speak with authority and say there is nothing wrong with you, Cat.” He paused. “I wanted to drive you to the park near where we lived when we were kids. I was fourteen years old the first time I told you I wanted to marry you, and that’s where we were. Since then I’ve told you four times. And each time, it was in that park.”
He felt her gasp and heard the wobble in her voice as she said, “I told you no jokes. You’re making fun of me again.”
Kevin leaned his forehead on hers. “Sweetheart, it’s never been a joke. But the way I feel about you scares me, so every time I tried to tell you I deliberately made it sound like I was teasing. But I was serious, even when I was fourteen. Every time, I was standing there with my heart in my palms, offering it to you.”
Catherine put her hands on his chest and pushed him away, looking up into his face. “What are you saying?”
He swallowed around his heart, which had taken up lodging in his throat. “I guess I still haven’t said it, have I? I love you, Cat. I want you to be my wife. And lately I’ve been thinking that, just maybe, you love me too.”
She punched him on the shoulder and then yelled in his face. “You slowpoke! Of course I love you. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Laughing, Kevin grabbed her fist, and then pulled her tightly to him. Lowering his mouth to hers, he said, “I’ve been asking you to marry me since I was fourteen! What more do you want?”
The End

I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONE 1

He’d expected this. He’d even hoped for it. But he still felt a twinge of — pity. She’d been stood up. Again. Here she sat, alone in an upscale restaurant, dressed in her favourite little black dress.
Kevin watched her reflection in a mirror and saw the sigh that gusted out of Catherine’s mouth and ruffled her hair as she sat back in her chair, closing her eyes.
It was time to make his move.
Before she became aware of his presence behind her, he cupped the back of her neck, his thumb caressing her just under her left ear. He felt her pulse leap, saw a smile burst across her face as she turned to look back over her shoulder. Kevin stepped up beside her and watched as her smile died.
Yanking herself away from his touch, she frowned at him. “What’re you doing here?”
Kevin just gave her a long-suffering look. Then, jerking his head, he said, “Come on. Let’s go.”
Catherine hunched a shoulder and turned her head away. “Get lost. I don’t need you to rescue me.”
He glanced at the two empty water bottles sitting before her and pulled a bill out of his wallet to leave on the table. Then he stood there for a moment, gazing at the top of her head, his mind juggling the usual spank her or kiss her debate. Under his breath, he said, “Yes, you do. And this time I’m going to do it right.”
In one way or another he’d been rescuing her since they were kids, and she’d always resented it. Whether as a pre-pubescent tomboy or the swan she’d evolved into, she’d been diving headfirst into catastrophes and he’d been reeling her out. And though until just recently — he hoped — she’d viewed him as nothing more than a bothersome big brother, he’d never considered her a sister.
Kevin’s problem was that every time he’d tried to tell her how he felt he’d muck it up, the result being she’d never believed him.
He reached down and started to pull her chair out from the table, the muscles of his arm flexing.
She didn’t surprise him. True to form, Catherine was stubborn and tried to dig her feet in, but after a brief struggle she must have realized it was pointless. With a sigh, she let him help her up and followed him out of the restaurant. They walked for a block without speaking, but he had no problem reading her thoughts. She had an expressive face and he’d been translating it for years.
Before long he was unlocking the passenger door of his car. “Come on. Get in.”
She pulled away from him, then turned and lifted her head and looked into his eyes, still not saying anything.
Kevin felt his lips twitch. “What? Still mad at me?”
She settled her butt back against the side of his car and shook her head, a sad look on her face. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Mark. Mad at myself — or at least disgusted with myself.” His heart clenched as tears began to roll down her face. “What’s wrong with me, Kevin? Why is it so hard for me to find someone who will care about me once in a while, instead of thinking only of himself? Someone who can remember which night of the week is my night, and which night is the night with the guys.”
Taking a step forward, she settled herself against his body, her arms around his waist, the side of her face resting on his throat. His chin came down, and using it, he gently rubbed the top of her head while his arms surrounded her in a gesture of comfort and protection. Their movements were fluid and natural, as if they’d stood like this many times before. They had.
Catherine mumbled into the bare flesh beneath her mouth, “If you crack a joke or make fun of me, I swear I’ll bite you.”
Kevin cupped the back of her head, pulled back, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “It wouldn’t be the first time, would it? All right, no jokes, no making fun. Come on. Get in the car. Everything will be okay. I promise.”
Frowning up at him, Catherine said, “I have my own car here.”
Lightly squeezing her head, he said, “Kitty Cat, I told you to get in the car. Now get in!”
Wrenching herself out of his hands, nearly his

CONTINUATION 2

Because you are important, Abby. Only I didn’t realize how much until you were never around. By the time I figured out that you were supposed to be in my life, you’d turned dodging me into your life’s mission. But you couldn’t stay out of my way today, so you gave me no choice but to have this out here. At your brother’s wedding.”
Abby couldn’t believe it. All this time she’d been hiding from him and he’d been looking for a chance to tell her how he felt? Tears dripping from the corners of her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh, Nik. You’re what’s important for me too. You always were. I can’t…” She hiccupped over a sob. “I can’t believe I’ve wasted all this time.”
Nik dropped a kiss on her forehead and pushed away. “Then let’s not waste anymore.” He put a hand out to her. “Abby Sixsmith, may I have this dance?”
The End

CONTINUATION 1
She'd tried to deal by making sure he thought she was seeing someone. Juvenile, but it had been effective for a time. She hadn’t felt like such a silly loser. Sometimes.
“My date couldn’t make it. His mom has been battling cancer and had a turn for the worse. He had to fly out so he could spend some time with her.”
“Oh.”
Abby tried to pull her hand away again. She couldn’t stand it! Bad enough he was touching her like this in the first place – when she was trying to convince herself the time had come to forgot about childish dreams – but he’d started to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb. She doubted he was even aware of his actions. Lady’s man Nik likely knew all the right moves and carried them out unconsciously.
Meanwhile, Abby was very conscious and could barely draw a breath without gasping.
“So, is he the reason I never see you around anymore? Are you two… serious?”
Abby jumped up, effectively breaking his hold on her. Because despite all else, she knew he’d never cause her any physical harm. So it was either let her go or pull her arm out of its socket.
“Again, what’s with you today? What do you care? Or are you just fishing for information for my brother? Why can’t the two of you realize that I’m all grown up and don’t need you getting into my business?”
Suddenly he was looming over her. “This has nothing to do with Greg. Just answer the question. Are you two serious? Is that why you never return my calls?”
Planting her palms against his chest, Abby tried to push him out of her personal space, but couldn’t budge him an inch. So instead, she went on the defensive, stood up on her toes, and got right in his face. “I told you! I don’t need another big brother. So back off!”
Um. Oh-oh. Maybe going on the defensive had been the wrong tactic, because instead of backing off, he stepped in, grabbed her by the waist, and swung her around. And now he was all the way into her personal space with her. Her back against the wall – literally – and Nik using his body to press her into it. “I am not your brother! Now answer me! Are you serious about this guy?”
Abby blinked. Suddenly her place in the universe seemed to have slipped, because she felt like she was free falling. Holy cow! Was he jealous?
“Ah, why do you care? You’ve got some honey on your arm every time I see you. So is it really your business?”
Nik looked like he was loosing control of his battle for – control. Still pinning her to the wall with his body, he grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall by her head. And while battling with him might have been reminiscent of childhood wrestling matches with him and Greg, this felt entirely different!
“Look who’s talking. Like I said before, I haven’t seen you on your own in ages. And I’m making it my business. Maybe if you’d ever return a phone call, or answer the door when I know you’re home, we wouldn’t be here at your brother’s wedding making a scene.”
He was jealous! Nik was not the type to make a scene. He had a powerful grip on his emotions at all times.
At least until now.
And she’d been the one to make him loose control. How cool was that?
“Nik…”
“Just answer the question, Abby. How involved are you with this guy you’re seeing?”
Abby took a deep breath and let the tension flow out with it. “We’re involved as friends. Good friends, but still just friends. Now you need to tell me why the answer was so important that you had to use brute force to get it out of me.”
He sucked in a breath. “Brute force? I would never…” As a look of horror crossed his face, he quickly let go of her hands and started to step back, opening the cage he’d created around her. “Abby, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean… Did I hurt you?”
She grabbed him by the hips and pulled him back in. “Forget it, buddy. You’re not going anywhere. Now answer the question. Why was my answer so important to you?”
With a sigh, he settled back against her, but this time he used his hands to gently cup her head. “Because

Abby Sixsmith watched her brother and couldn’t contain a surge of envy. He looked so happy!
It was so unfair. Greg, who since a teenager, had sworn he’d never marry, had just exchanged vows a few hours ago. Abby, who had been dreaming of her wedding for most of her life, sat at his reception single and dateless.
Can you say loser?
Of course, if she hadn’t given her heart to her brother’s best friend, who’d also sworn off matrimony as a teen, she might not be in this predicament. Opportunities for love long lasting had come and gone, due to her tunnel vision on the subject. At twelve years of age she’d decided that Nikolas Janiszewski was the one. And that childish certainly had rooted deep and flourished with time.
For the last few years she’d done her best to stay away from him. Being in his sphere filled her heart with an unbearable ache. Because she knew – she knew – her dreams were hopeless. As a single, successful, and let’s not forget good looking guy, he generally had some wannabe on his arm. Didn’t they know they were wasting their time? Didn’t they care? Didn’t they have any self respect?
Didn’t she? Maybe she wasn’t physically clinging to him, but from an emotional standpoint, she’d been hanging off him for years. Perhaps it was time to try to surgically remove him from her heart. Instead of sitting here with her back to the dance floor – the maid of honour had wrapped herself around him a while back and Abby couldn’t bear to watch – she should be out there having some fun. Fun that didn’t include him!
“Hey, Abby Normal. How come you’re not dancing?”
How wrong was that? She loved a guy who looked at her and thought of a character from Young Frankenstein. How much more proof did she need that it was time to move on and forget him? She’d never be anything more to him than his best friend’s kid sister.
“Abby?
Now or never. The time had come to exorcise him.
She slid around in her chair and looked at him. Arched a brow. “What? No cling on in tow?”
“Klingon?”
“Not K. C. Cling… on. The maid of honour has been your own personal barnacle since the dancing began.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, what’s a guy to do? Besides, the best man has a duty to make the single ladies here happy, doesn’t he?”
Oh, great. He’d sought her out because of a sense of duty. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
A pained expression crossed his face. “No. I wasn’t including you in that. You could never be a duty. You’re… you’re…”
“I’m Abby Normal. Your best friend’s interfering kid sister. Yeah, I know. And you want to know something? I get that.” She ducked her head and continued under her breath. “Finally. Maybe.”
When she didn’t look back up, he squatted down in front of her. Poor guy wasn’t used to being ignored by anything female. Well, it was time she grew a backbone and started a new trend. Of course, she doubted it would ever become a popular trend, because chances were no one without a Y chromosome would jump on the let’s pretend Nik Janiszewski doesn’t exist train with her.
His hands took hers, and no matter how hard she tried to loose herself from his grip, he wasn’t letting go. “What’s with you? Let me go. I told you, you don’t need to waste your time keeping this “single lady” happy.”
With a sigh, he swung himself up onto the empty chair beside her, but kept control of the hand closest to it. “Abs, give it up. I wasn’t insulting you, okay? And why are you here alone, anyway? I haven’t seen you without someone in tow in ages. Not that I’ve seen you in ages.”
Yeah, because up until the time she’d decided she couldn’t deal with being in his presence, she’d tried to

Wealthy but I think stingy on himself... Just five cars only? Where's ferrari, Aston martin's, etc.. He's Don Jazzy for carrying out loud.. Mtchew.

Transplant

Two guys are drinking together at a bar and go into the bathroom. Standing at the latrine, Bill notices that his buddy is very well endowed.

"Wasn't always that way," the buddy says. "It's a transplant. I had it done over on Harley Street. It cost a thousand bucks, but as you can see, it's well worth every cent."

So Bill visits the doctor on Harley Street that day. Six months later, the two guys meet up again at the bar. Bill explains, "I took your advice, but you were robbed. I got mine for $500, not a thousand."

They go back to the restroom to compare. "No wonder," his buddy says, "That's my old one

Finding Jesus

A man is stumbling through the bush totally drunk and then he comes upon a Bishop baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the Bishop. The Bishop turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

'Yes I am' replies the drunk, so the Bishop grabs him and deeps him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't.' The Bishop, shocked with the answer, deeps him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.'
By this time the Bishop is worried and so he deeps the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs struggling for breath, the Bishop pulls him up. The Bishop asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the Bishop

'Are you sure this is where JESUS fell in?'

Getting screwed thousand times


Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
But she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me
have sex with you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for £200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
Pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"



Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it or risk getting s

Forming viagra induced James Bond ontop her..

30 men..!!!!!!!? Why you no open brothel. [color=#990000][/color]

; ...take your time and read it

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...

o O

...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?!?", "Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles)

O o

I said (pointing to the small circle) "this is your asshole before prison

Begging for it

One night after a date, a guy takes his girlfriend home. After kissing each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little Hot. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her:

"Honey, would you give me a Mouth Action?"

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you..."

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a Mouth Action, or I can do it. Or if need be, Mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom."

Dumb Barber

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?"

Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "about 2 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes."

In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, "this must be good, where did he go when he left here?"

Joey says, "To your house!"

Extra Large Condom( Adult)

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does

A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"

Date her for hapiness.
Better your life and better hers.. If you can't, be on your heels..

The Question.

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"