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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 41
“Commitment is like the tree on which the fruit grows, if you can’t don’t attempt”


I just finished doing some laundry, I insist on doing my own laundries. I got used to the African lifestyle during my Nigerian times. Since I got back the washing machine could rest.

Was busy chewing on something when the bell rang. Opening the door, I saw Clyde standing there like he hasn’t slept in days.

Clyde: Can I come in.

Me: ermm yeah sure, i walked with him to where I was sitting earlier. I was stealing glances, checking him out.

We sat for a while until he asked the whereabouts of my parents. Since they were not around, he just had to tell me what he came for.

Clyde: So I will go straight to the point, If you will still have me, am ready to do this now.

This house though am not sure, but I think you are right. Who would want to be with me after the harm I have caused.

By the way I brought my things from the hotel. Is it okay if i move in now? I mean if am going to spend my life in here, I must as well start right away.

Babs say something, is this not what you want. Or have I said something wrong again?

I finally found my voice, I didn’t think he would do it, I admire him now more for this i was tempted to just take everything I said back.

But there is my family, I mean this my decision is also about them, More about my own fears, and my insecure state than forgiving him.

Me: Clyde I didn’t think you would even consider it. Ermm come let me help you with the bags, then we can talk.

After what looks like 10 minutes, we were done. He didn’t bring a lot of things so it was quick, am yet to make space for his stuffs.

We sat on the bed opposite each other, with my hands hanging on my cheeks as if i was in a trance i listened to him as he spoke.

Clyde: Am here now, what? And one more thing I wasn’t able to finalize selling of the business.

How are we going to go about that?

Me: You know that’s a requirement for this to work.

But thats fine, so far as it gets done. Am sorry too for doing this by the way.

Clyde: I understand you can’t trust me now.

And so sorry for walking out on your family, I love you Babs. Nothing will change that not even your Dad, He then came closer, held me in a tight hug I couldn’t help but let the tears flow.

Clyde: Its’ okay, we are going to be fine.

In the evening we finally had that talk with my Dad, which from every indication shows he has no plans of giving up.

I understand him sometimes; when you think you are impotent and out of the blues after 9 good years you are blessed with a beautiful girl, you would want to be over protective.

Throughout the conversation, he made small talks.

Like; so far as you are happy, i will be watching closely, he better not do anything Funny

Who would have thought, I would be sleeping on the same bed with Clyde. We have been sleeping on the same bed every now and then, sometimes I take the couch.

During the day I go to work, whiles he stays home.

Once I make sure he has food to eat, he likes my meals so no laziness this time.

He tells me he stays in doors, which is beginning to be boring, He can’t stand my dad’s attitude, mum however has been helpful.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 40
“if you still want to be in their lives, you must think smart”



Clyde am sorry about what I have to do, I can’t marry you, not ever.

Clyde: Babs, how, why, Are you still punishing me?

Me: Clyde, you know I want to be with you, but not in another marriage.

But we will do it my way this time. Marriage is not the only way to be with you. This time, I saw my dad in a regrettable state, as if he was feeling pity for Clyde.

Clyde: Why are you doing this to me? How would that even work?

Me: You know am finding it difficult to forgive, trust and get my head around issues. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you, I just need a little commitment from you.

Whenever you are ready, You will sell off your business, house, and entire property, give the income out to orphanages, you relocate back here.

In this very mansion, we will both live and grow, We will raise our kids here, live our lives together here.

At this point my Dad shouted, WHAT?

Me: Yes dad, that’s how this is going to work. Remember this is my house too, and you don’t want me going off again.

This way I can see you every day and you can learn to like Clyde as well. He didn’t say anything, I heard my mum say she is right, just then Clyde stood up.

Clyde: Babs, how do you expect me to sell off everything I have?

I can’t do that, how do I provide for you and staying in this house is like prison. Babs please, is that the reason why you didn’t want me buying the apartment? If we are going to start our lives together not in here, where your dad here hates me.

Me: Watch it Clyde so you don’t insult my dad. I want you but I can’t go back to a house that holds a lot of memories.

A place where I can’t tell what you might do next, In this house, I have hope you wouldn’t try anything funny.

Because I am ready to provide everything, I will work now and you stay at home. I don’t want the case you go out and I keep looking over my shoulders.

Clyde: So this is more like keeping tabs on me. Is my word not enough, I love you Babs, nothing can change that.
Don’t cage that Babs.

Me: if you love me as you said, you wouldn’t have a problem with this arrangements. You said you want to be with me, you have the opportunity to do that now. Nothing is stopping you now, not my Dad not my friends.

Clyde: thank you Babs, you have finally achieved your purpose of hurting me. He then walked out on us, I knew what I planned on doing will hurt him a lot.

Especially selling off his property and becoming a nobody in my dad’s house, somehow I just wanted to see how far he is willing to go for me.

But I also know I want this for myself, Am too scared to commit now. After he left, my mum shouted, Wow and my Dad what a relief, i just walked to my room and laid on the bed.

This time the tears refused to come, until I slept off the next day and a day followed, he wasn’t just answering the call.

Mum said I should give him space, he needs time to process, I went about my duties, work, and outings with my family,the friends I left behind, from one conference to another.

It seemed like I have completely forgotten Clyde existed. But a part of me is fully aware he might show up, I begin to feel regrets for what am about to do.

I don’t know for how long I planned on treating him that way but that’s just how it has to be, I don’t see myself married again. To get tied again with some metal called “RING” I want to be free, I want a normal life.

Nothing like before, it’s not like I would disrespect my husband. But I just want to be secured, because I already feel insecure Clyde has been in London getting to 6 months now.

Just to win me back, if am so important to him. He will be back for me, i can’t tell how long.

It’s been a month already since I told him to sell off everything. And he flee like a coward, such a kid, I managed to insult.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 39
“Love is possible when in pain”


I spoke with his parents, and they are only going to forgive him. When they see changes in his behavior.

Am not sure I have fully forgiven him yet, but one thing am sure of is I still love him. I don’t know how I can still love in the absent of forgiveness.

After a few weeks, I was with dad and mum watching some program on television, when we heard our door bell ring. I went to get it, just to see Clyde standing there smiling.

We had no plans, we spoke 30 minutes ago and he told me he was going to sleep.

Me: What are you doing here? I mean you didn’t mention you will be coming my dad is around, and we are having a family time.

Clyde: Babs relax, at least let me in. Am glad your parents are here, I came to see them.

Me: What for? Please don’t ruin anything we have going on now.

Clyde: I don’t intend to, I let him in after a peck and a hug, I saw my dad adjusting himself in the couch.

Me: Dad before you say anything, I didn’t know he was coming but he said he wants to talk to you and mum.

So please and please just hear him out.

Dad: Young man, have a seat, what do we offer you.

Clyde: Nothing sir, Thank you for this opportunity

At this point I was nervous, Clyde don’t blow this up for me. We all sat and was eager to hear what he had to say.

Clyde: First of all, am sorry once again for anything, And my Dad yelled, Go straight to the point, I don’t have all the time. At this point I kept staring at him.

Clyde: I want to marry your daughter, officially now.

We three all chorused; WHAT?

Dad: Are you out of your mind, I allow you to do whatever it is you do with her these past months because I made her a promise.

Now here you sit with me with this rubbish, This is the last of your stupidity, I will take, Now get out before I say something else. Clyde just sat there with his head in his palms.

Mum: My husband, don’t you think you are being over protective.

I mean allow them to do what they want. You can’t make a decision for your 28 year old daughter, She’s right here, ask her, If she likes it why not.

Dad: Woman, you talk as if you don’t love your daughter. And as if she has ever made any right decision for herself.

Me: Okay enough.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 38

“Where there is love, there is happiness”


I totally agree with him, no more drama from my Dad.

We drove to a restaurant in town. We both ordered our favorites and had a sit down, after some minutes of total silence, he spoke up.

Clyde: So you want to know where I have been right. I went to the next state, planning a surprise for you except now it’s not a surprise anymore.

My mind was just not with him at the moment thinking of how to break the news to him.

Me: Clyde am rea…ready n…ow I stammered, and finally managed to get my mind back to the present.

Clyde: Ready for?

Me: To be with you now dummy. I want to try a different approach to love now, I want to give love a chance.

He quickly stood up from his seat, picked me up and gave me a deep kiss, which I didn’t resist for about 2 minutes, which he said thank you. You won’t regret this, he finally said.

We finished up and he drove me out of town to a new apartment, Guessing that was the surprise.

He wanted to get a place here instead of staying at the hotel, in case I take too much time to forgive him. I just stood there in the apartment and asked him if he has already paid for it. Am glad he said No, I told him to hold on.

From then, he comes to my place whenever he is free and my dad just shrugs and leaves the scene. i took my time to tell my friends back in Nigeria what is going on they warned him if he ever tries anything like that, they will personally slaughter him.

You can’t laugh, the look on Clyde’s face, especially how Bebe stressed the I will kill you part.


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ikr, thanks for your feedback

MissRelly:
AWESOME!!!!

wow i see, happy you think so

Brokenblade1234:
Hot!

thank you so much dear, glad you liked it

Nmaglit:
I love this story like kilode nice work dear

Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 37
“As you are busy with your anger, remember that’s when good opportunities come”



I went with my Dad after he gave him a weird look. He said he is ready to listen to me now.

Dad: Am guessing you know why I called you here.

Am ready to talk to you now. What are your plans for that home breaker?

Me: Dad, his name is Clyde and am yet to figure that out.

Whatever my plans are, I promise not to run off with him if that’s what you are thinking, I just know i still love him for what it’s worth, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Can you at least be nice to him from now on because he is going to frequent this house more often.

Dad: Alright that’s enough, Do whatever pleases you.

Just make sure am not around when he comes here i don’t know how exactly you got your mum on your side. But you have succeeded.

But know one thing too am never going to give you my consent ever to marry that fool.

Me: Dad you don’t have to worry, am not going to marry him.

And thank you for making this easier for me i won’t disappoint you this time i smiled to him like a small kid and rushed down to my room.I saw Clyde walking around uneasily.

Clyde: Are you okay, hope he hasn’t done anything to you.

Me: What are you insinuating, Please my Dad can never harm me. Get that into your head, unlike you.

Clyde: Babs, common i was just worried that’s all I didn’t mean to, I guess I have over stayed my welcome I will call when I get to the hotel.

Me: Please stay, I want you to stay.

Clyde: What for?

So you keep rubbing my mistakes in my face every now and then.

Common Babs, you are no different from your Dad, If you keep making me feel like the worse person ever I haven’t killed anyone.

I understand I broke your heart that am sincerely sorry, that I am ready to say sorry every morning for. You think it’s easy to deal with this heavy guilt am carrying it’s not, every day I see you, I remember too okay.

Am a human being too, I made a mistake but just don’t make it difficult for me, I made to hold his hand, he just pulled away and left, banging the door on me.

I made to follow when I saw my parents staring at me.Mum asking what’s going on and Dad looking victorious.

I knew he didn’t bring a car so it will be difficult getting one, I went out and he was nowhere to be found.

I called him severally but he didn’t answer his cell.The hotel claimed he wasn’t back yet.

Days passed by and no sign of him, I was beginning to miss him. I went to the hotel and met his absent, i waited till evening, and he’s a no show.

I came back home with my dad asking me if I have found him, I was surprised and retorted silently to myself why does he care. Just then my Phone rang it was Clyde, I quickly picked up.

Me: where the hell have you been? You just run off anytime there is an issue, Clyde I don’t want to go through this again. It’s not healthy, Now tell me where you have been.

Clyde: Why don’t I tell you that in person. Am outside your gate, am not sure if I should come in, I quickly run off, meeting Dad once again by the pool.

It seems he always want to be where I am with Clyde, I quickly opened the door remotely and saw him by his car. I rushed to hug him, which lasted for some few minutes, When I finally let go, he asked if we could go somewhere.

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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 36
“Sometimes you just need to take that bold step, don’t let your guards down”


I got to the house, and I met dad waiting in the sitting room.

Dad: Thank God, he muttered silently.

I just passed by and went up to my room Few minutes later, he came knocking. Barbara open this door, I delayed a bit then opened.

Dad: You are breaking my heart, I don’t want you going off again Am just trying to protect you, don’t you understand?

Me: Dad I told you, I don’t need protection at this age, just your support Dad: Remember you made me a promise not to marry him again.

Me: Yes I know, I don’t intend to break that promise, I just need you to stop being so rude, and embarrassing him anytime he comes here I need to do this alone. Can you please let me You said you want what’s best for me. My happiness is your top priority, then let me handle this my own way.

Dad: Okay, Am leaving you alone, I know Dad wouldn’t give up so easily though he just said okay.

The house has become so uncomfortable for me, as my dad gives me the Daddy attitude, and I still struggle with decisions concerning Clyde.

Yes I do want him, but the fear of going all in and I crush again, Finding it difficult to forgive him is one thing I can handle, but not my recent feelings that I have to battle with.

I might explode soon, He seemed to have regretted and I can see that I want to be with him, but then there is my family, I don’t want to run off and leave behind again.

In case something happens, I might not be able to forgive myself, I’m always afraid he might break my heart again, I can’t trust him again.

Who would after toying with your heart, What if it happens again? I might not come out of it. Was in my office, thinking about all these. Just then Clyde just opened the door on me, startling me.

Me: What the hell, can’t you knock?

Clyde: Geez Babs, i guess I should go then.

Me: No wait, am sorry.


Clyde: Troubles at home? Or it’s me.

Me: Both I exclaimed, Just a bunch of problems on my mind right now. Loving you is so easy, but letting go is not easy.

Clyde: Then don’t let go, Babs If you want me to spend my whole life apologizing, i will so far as I get to be with you.

Me: You’ve hurt me so bad you know.

Clyde: I know, it won’t happen again please.

Me: You know I may never be able to trust you right?

Clyde: I understand, and I will take my chances.

Me: Okay then, what are you doing here by the way.

Clyde: Okay then what? I came to take you out on a surprise lunch.

Me: Okay then, nothing Lunch I see. But I have a better idea.

Let’s go home, give me just some few minutes to wrap up from here. After some 10 minutes, she insisted we drive in his car.

While he ordered his driver to take the rest of the day off. We drove off, while he drives I kept stealing glances. We drove in silence until we got to her place as we entered my parents were busy enjoying each other’s company.

Then my Dad flared up again.

Dad: I thought i told you not to come here again, as my mum calmed him down, Clyde’s face was down the whole time.

Me: Dad i thought we spoke about this, We agreed you aren’t going to treat him this way again.

Dad You keep hurting me every now and then, Yes he wronged me first.

Am yet to forgive him, I suggest you do same, It hasn’t been easy on me, don’t make it any harder.

I then pulled Clyde with me upstairs, As my Dad and Mum looked on and Clyde keeps looking back. We reached my room and I locked up the door.

Me: Am sorry about earlier, let’s give it a minute and I will fix up something to eat.

Clyde: I should be apologizing, you defended me out there. Thank you, and am guessing this was your plan all along, to piss your Dad off and you have a nice room here.

Me: Am glad you know that now, I just want you guys to get along then I can have peace
Clyde: Does that peace include marrying me? Babs I love you.

Me: I will pretend i haven’t heard you, Let me just get us that food now i quickly rushed out just to avoid exploding in there Only God knows, I wanted to tell him I love him too, but I guess i may never be able to.

I got the food fixed, we ate inside my room, After eating we resorted to all kinds of games, Pillow fights were not excluded. One thing led to another and we found ourselves in heaven.

I guess we were about to have a second honey moon, just then my dad’s voice came calling. I would have regretted sleeping with Clyde if my dad hadn’t come, i quickly pushed my dress on while he did the same, on opening the door for my dad, he kept looking inside as if he lost something.

Dad: Young man, can i talk to my daughter alone?

You can wait downstairs And dress properly in my house, Clyde was still battling with getting his buttons fixed.

Me: Dad we can talk in your study, Let Clyde be please.

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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts
EPISODE 35
“Breaking a promise you know very well you can’t keep is like breaking a woman’s virginity”


Clyde drove straight to his hotel. As we entered, I just quickly laid on the bed while he kept walking in the whole room.

Me: Clyde you are disturbing, can you relax for a minute. I want to think, and leave my Dad to me.

Clyde: I caused all this, I don’t exactly know what to do, you haven’t even forgiven me yet.

Me: Yes it’s all your fault It’s not that easy, I keep playing the drama in my head.

Clyde: What drama are you talking about?

Me: How you found the courage to sleep with all those girls, I don’t have a problem with you sleeping with them.

In fact i knew you can, you are capable Once a Casanova, always a Casanova, but my problem is you promised you wouldn’t I trusted you, I took your word for it because I loved you too much not to believe you. You read me those nice vows and you broke them.

What happened to the part where you said you would die, after sleeping with any LovePeddler again I guess you are still alive, congratulations.

He then moved closer to me, and knelt by the bed holding my hands.

Clyde: Love am sorry, I didn’t exactly sleep with them, those girls, yes it’s true I met a number of them several times. But with several of the girls at first, I couldn’t get it off, so I just resorted to them entertaining me I just lay down and watch them dance, these girls are good dancers.

That’s how it has been with them, I didn’t touch them I swear I couldn’t just bring myself to break my promise to you, Even though I was so sure at that time you were cheating, some just listen to me talk about my problems, that’s how it started at first.

Me: What do you mean by you can’t get it off, and you are so proud of yourself telling me, they only entertain or listen to your problems. Why was I married to you then, to just grace your bed?

Clyde: I mean I wasn’t attracted to them like I was to you. I know I failed in the communication bit but please can we forget this.

We have a situation on our hands, i want to be with you once again. Please give me a chance, he tried to kiss me, which he succeeded after several attempts.

It was refreshing, i like this new Clyde just then he made his way beside me on the bed, which he tried to UnCloth me. I covered my face with my palms like a small girl for some minutes, he nearly succeeded, but I quickly held his hand.

Me: Please am not ready.

Clyde: No problem, I understand I can wait as long as you want me to.

Me: Thank you, can you take the couch?

Clyde: Alright, Going to bed already. Are you sure you don’t want to tell your dad, you are okay?

Me: No, let him cool off, Goodnight

The next morning, we got prepared i needed to go home. Clyde drove me home, on the way he asked what came over me during dinner that i called him “my husband”.

I just told him nothing, that he should mind his own damn business I wondered myself how that happened, I guess i was just used to his likes and dislikes.

We finally got to my gate, he dropped me, gave me a peck and watched me enter, before he left.



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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 34
“You know you still love them, if you can remember every little details about their worst fears”



We all moved to the table to dine I made to sit by Clyde but my dad quickly asked i sit beside him. We ate in silence, just then my mum asked for dessert to be brought. I quickly shouted, my husband doesn’t eat that one, "he is allergic".

Give him the other, just a little or he might grow too fat. I actually made that for him, knowing what he likes and don’t, since my mum doesn’t.

It didn’t occur to me what I had said until I realized everyone was quiet.

When I finally knew what I did, I kept staring at Clyde who couldn’t wipe that smirk off his face. Just then, my dad stood up.

Dad: Young man follow me, I knew I have worsened things. I quickly followed, my mum didn’t want to be left behind.

Dad: Have a seat, and now tell me what you did to my daughter. I want to know if you are worthy of her again.

Me: Dad I thought we were never going to talk about that.

Dad: Barbara, this is not your concern, I made that promise to you. Not him, so allow him and get off from here, you two, Pointing to mum and I.
Young man talk, I'm listening or why did you come to my house the other day for. Was it not to confess and ask for forgiveness?

Clyde: Yes sir, I …. I….I … I know I have wronged you and your daughter.

Kindly forgive me and I want to properly ask for your daughters hand in marriage, if you will approve, that would make me so very happy.

Dad: What? Are you out of your mind? You think I want to see my daughter go through whatever she went through again Never, over my dead body.

Now get the hell out of my house and don’t ever come back. I said go, and don’t look back.

Clyde: Sir please, am sorry this time,. I was in tears for the embarrassment Clyde is going through.

Me: Dad, how could you embarrass my guest this way? He had problems with me, not you i don’t need you fixing my problems for me, i grabbed Clyde’s hands and asked him to follow me.

He hesitated a while, i told him if he wants to be lynched then he should be my guest. He quickly looked at my mum who beckoned him to go, then he runned after me.

By this time I was at the door. We left the compound in his car, he kept driving until he stopped.

Me: Why are we stopping?

Clyde: Am sorry Babs, I just couldn’t tell them what they want to hear, It would sound so stupid, I wanted to but it wasn’t just coming out.

Me: Then drive on, get me out of this environment.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts
EPISODE 33
“That feeling that wants to make you explode, that one that makes you young at once, don’t lock it in”


He indeed was looking like a prince charming With his cute pink shirt and blue trousers, simple and I noticed he got a hair cut. He sure knows how to pick them, I rushed down the stairs like a small girl.

I was going to embrace him, am not sure what was going on through my mind until I heard my dad’s husky voice, Clyde was then looking in my direction.

Dad: Hey young lady, careful you don’t fall, shouldn’t you be in something proper?

Me: Dad, this is proper, besides am in the house It’s not like you are taking me out for proms.

Dad: Okay fine, suit yourself go help your mum then. As if my dad was trying to prevent me from meeting Clyde, i nearly said something, but Clyde shove me an eye I wonder what that meant.

Dad: Young man, are you always this early or you are trying to impress someone.

Clyde: Sir good evening, my watch deceived me.

Dad: You need to get a new watch then, or you might be late to the white house.
I hid behind the blinds and once I saw my Dad going back upstairs i came towards Clyde, the atmosphere became weird.

Me: Hey, did your watch really deceive you or you just outsmarted my Dad.

Clyde: How are you, I hope you are not dressing up this way for dinner.

Me: Why are you all worried about my dress. Besides am yet to take my shower so, I might change. Why you don’t like it?

Clyde: Wow! That was straight forward, like is an understatement, I love it. We were suddenly looking at each other weirdly.

He reached out to hold my hands, which I didn’t object. Just then my mum interrupted us.

Mum: emmmmmmm, welcome gentleman. Barbara why is he still standing.

Young man have a seat. And where do you think you are doing.
Me: Am having a seat too mum.

Mum: suit yourself, and why isn’t he served with anything.

Clyde: I just got here, besides am fine for now.

Mum: Young man, I have been wanting to talk to you for some time now. Am sure Barbara might have told you something.
What’s your name again?

Clyde: Clyde Obi, Maa.

Me: I don’t intend asking you what happened between you two, because Madam here refused to tell us anything and am sure you won’t either.

But I just want to know your intentions this time I love my daughter, if she is happy, I am too. She seemed to be much of herself since you arrived unlike when she came home.

Clyde: Maa, i'm really sorry for whatever happened between Babs and I.

I acknowledge I hurt the entire Wilson family when I took her away at first just to bring her back broken. I can’t begin to say i can fix it, but I know if given the chance i wouldn’t go that way again.

I did a great harm to this beautiful woman here, and I can’t turn back the hands of time. Maa, simply put I love your daughter, and I would do anything for her this time.

Mum: well, if it were up to me alone, I would say you both are old enough to make your decisions but we have there the man of the house, Barbara is her Gold, He won’t let her go this time, though she is of age.

At this point, I was fumbling with my fingers i almost cried out loud, as his words touched my heart i keep stealing glances until, I heard some footsteps from upstairs.

I knew it was my dad, I quickly dashed to the kitchen. I came out laying the table and everyone was sitting watching some boring cartoon.

Both mum, dad and Clyde were quiet, I was wondering what was going on with them. I passed by as if no one noticed, I quickly showered, put on my best outfit and came out.

My dad shouted, finally the queen of the house has decided to let us eat.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 32
“Express your feelings if you have to, it doesn’t kill “



Woke up late since it was a Sunday, several missed calls I decided to call him.

Me: hello, ermm I was busy.

Clyde: Before you say anything, I would like to say sorry for yester night. Hope I haven’t ruined my chances.

Babs I want you, I need you. Please give me another chance.

Me:I will think about it, please have a nice day.

Clyde: When should I expect an answer from you?

Me: I will let you know I quickly hanged up.

Just then Livie called I gave him the latest gist, he wasn’t too happy about it.

But I told him I will be fine, besides am sure Clyde has learnt his lesson. We talked for a while, and I got out of bed downstairs.

My mum was staring at me, and finally asked I should spill it out. I told her there was nothing to talk about.

She then said whatever it is, if I am happy she will support me. I said thank you and asked what he thinks about Clyde.

Since before we got married they didn’t get the opportunity to know him that well. She said from afar he seems like a nice guy, but she is yet to have a talk with him.

I wondered how she is going to do that without pissing off dad, besides she doesn’t know where Clyde stays. Days turned into weeks, Clyde comes over to my work place to take me for lunch.

He comes over to my house but had to wait outside for me Sometimes we just sit outside in his car and have long chats Or take walks in my area, I just could not stop admiring him each and everyday.

One working day, he came for me for our usual lunch I was quiet busy so he just sat there in front of me, while I finished up Just then my dad came in, their eyes met and I was kind of nervous.

Clyde: Hello sir, Good afternoon.


Dad: I can see you are busy here my daughter, was going for lunch, Wanted to find out if you will tag along but let’s meet at home.

Me: Dad sorry another time. I have plans already.

Dad: Young man, Saturday 7 pm, my house. Don’t be late, I believe you can find your way.

Clyde: Yes sir.

When he left, Clyde asked me what just happened I have no idea either, I was just staring at you guys. Clyde then decided to cancel our lunch date so I can go with my dad.

I watched him go away sadly, I then went ahead with dad’s offer Lunch it was at ‘’spicy’’ his favorite spot I can’t just wait for Saturday 7 pm.

Clyde was so happy about it, I on the other hand was nervous considering I know my dad so well Clyde and I seemed to be doing a lot of talking these days.

And since the last kiss he hasn’t tried any move again.

I was beginning to get worried I mean it’s not like he doesn’t want it too I just want to explode anytime am around him. These are the old feelings I wish never resurfaced again I am beginning to like him gradually again.

The hatred I think I can bear, but this torture of not being in his arms is killing me already Saturday came and Clyde was early as a bird
He came an hour before time.

I was going to take my bath when my brothers prompted me my prince charming is here. The way they said it was funny I quickly put on a short and a tank top, I rushed downstairs.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts
EPISODE 31
“Don’t hold yourself back whenever your heart wants something, take the risk”


After lunch I went back to my room and called him up at the hotel, told him my driver was bringing over the phone later that evening.

But then at 7pm, i saw myself at the Clayton Hotel.
How did I get there, I drove myself there.

I made the receptionist call about my driver, I was asked to go in.

I gently knocked on the door just for him to open up.
With his towel wrapped around his waist and that his masculine body was glaring at me.

What a temptation, as soon as he opened the door and saw me, he got shocked at the door.

He could not utter a word, at least he tried and the words were not coming out I finally spoke up.

Me: Won’t you let me in or I should go.

Clyde: Come in, my bad. By the way what happened to your driver?

Me: He went home early.

Clyde: Kindly sit on the bed.

Me: I prefer the couch, thanks and you look confused. Are you going somewhere?


Well I have no plans of staying for long, i keep stealing glances while he changes in front of me.
I could just imagine the bare chest, all over me.

I love hairy men, I wouldn’t know what I would have done if he weren’t hairy.
I kept fantasizing over his hairy chest until he spoke up.

Clyde: Kind of, I wasn’t expecting you that’s all, You can stay as long as you want to.

Me: By the way check if this thing still works I handed him the phone.

Clyde: Thank you for bringing this, What should I offer you, I have everything.

Me: Nothing am fine and should be on my way before my dad starts looking for me.

Clyde: Did you tell him you were coming here.

Me: No, am old enough to take my own decisions.

Clyde: Does that mean you aren’t going away from here.

Me: No, just then his phone rang.

Clyde: Can we cancel? Yes I know, I will pay the extra, you just save it. Later then.

Me: I can tell whoever it was, wasn’t happy you cancelled.
You can go, I just came to drop the phone, and it’s working perfectly, I should be on my way now.

Clyde: Are you sure you want to go?

Me: I stood up headed towards the door when he pulled me towards his face.

Held my face up, stared for a few seconds, as if he was looking for some answers.
He searched my eyes for another seconds, and he started kissing me for like a minute and pulled away panting.

Me: Sorry I have to go, I thought him pulling away means i have to get going.

I rushed out of there, as if I just saw a ghost I walked straight to where my car was parked, I heard Clyde calling me but I ignored and drove away.
I went straight home and to bed, my mind hovering and crowded with what just happened.

I kept asking myself what just happened repeatedly.

Clyde didn’t stop calling, I had to turn my phone off I managed to get some sleep, not after fantasizing about the kiss one more time.
I think I love it, it made me feel something different I drifted off to sleep.

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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 30
“Sweet words soften the heart, no matter how tough it may seem”



I went back to my room and realized i missed several calls from an unknown number. I decided to call back.

Me: Hello, I missed a call from this number.

Unknown number: This is Clayton Hotel as I mentioned earlier, do you know anyone here please.
I might not have heard her mentioning it earlier, I quickly gave him Clyde’s name and asked if she could pass me on she asked to hold on which I did.

Clyde: Babs is that you, I hope you are okay.

Me: What were you thinking Clyde? What came over you, at least give me a heads up. I hate you for this now.

Clyde: I'm sorry Babson, I was just thinking of making things right.

I didn’t care what your dad would do to me so far as he would forgive me for your sake, i'm willing to come to your house every now and then besides you were not exactly happy the last time we met.

Me: The more reason why, you should have stayed away from my house. You better don’t try it again.

Clyde: Babs i'm still in love with you, if that’s the only way to get you back I will.

Me: Get ready to loose me forever then.

Clyde: Does this mean you forgive me, Babs do you still love me.

i think I should come over more often, if two slaps from your dad can make you forgive me then I will want to take that every day, until you take me back.

Me: No to your first two questions but I hope you are okay, did you get your face looked at. Does it still hurt, if it does get some ice on it?

Clyde: Yes it hurts, it will need your touch, why don’t you come over.
Me: And where will I tell my dad am off to.
I suddenly found myself easing up and smiling at his silly comments.
'Get some ice on it, you should be fine. By the way what happened to your cell phone, you called on the hotel line.'

Clyde: I can’t tell, I think i might have dropped it accidentally in your house.

It was in my shirt pocket, i think when i got slapped and I fell on my knees it dropped Kindly check for me.
Me: Really, you did this on purpose so you can come back for it huh.

Clyde: Come on who would want to come back for that kind of slap?

Me: Meaning you have agreed not to come back here. Thank you and don’t think you are so smart, you think I would bring this phone over, i will send my driver to you later on.

Have a good day gentleman we hanged up, just then daddy came in.

Dad: Hi dear, how are you feeling.

Me: 'I'm fine dad.' He came to sit on the bed with me.

Dad: You know your well-being is my top most priority. Sometimes I still think you are my little girl and I will do anything to make you happy and protect you from any one that wants to harm you.

As you said earlier, you are old enough, so I won’t send you off to your aunt’s but don’t try threatening me of leaving forever, you don’t want to kill me right.

Me: Dad I love you, and I don’t want to do anything that will kill you. Whiles in Nigeria, there was no day I didn’t think about you guys. My husband always say I should give it time that you will come around.

So many times he tried calling the house for me but I stopped him.
Dad he is a good man, but he has some stuff i'm sure he needs to work through Whatever happened and we divorced, I don’t want to talk about it either.

Can you give him the chance to get to talk to you? He always wanted to.

Dad: Does that mean you have forgiven him and want to go off with him again.

Me: Dad i didn’t say that either, what i'm saying is Clyde has a lot of pride and for him to come in here after telling him you might kill him shows he regrets whatever he has done and wants to apologize.


Dad: He hasn’t done anything to me, to apologize for, he should be apologizing to you and he dare not step foot in this house again. Whatever you want to do I won’t stop you, Just tell him i don’t want to see his face ever again in this house.

And he dare not try taking you away to a no man’s land.

Me: He has apologized, i'm sure he wronged you when he married me without your blessings.
He wronged you when he broke Daddy’s little girl’s heart.

Give him the chance to make up for it. Please dad, do this for me and i promise not to marry him again.

Dad: Are you sure you are going to keep to your promise. Then I will think about it.

Come down for lunch, your mum is waiting i went downstairs with my dad, thinking if i just did the right thing

On getting there, my mum found Clyde’s phone and handed it over to me.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 29
“When a man takes the bold step its worth whatever comes out of it”


The next day was Saturday, I just woke up and struggling out of bed. When I heard my dad yelling and my mum telling him to take it easy i quickly rushed down in my morning coat.

Just to meet Clyde on his knees and my mum preventing my dad from flaring up again.I took another look at him on the floor and then my dad.
I rushed towards my dad.

Dad: Hold it there, young woman.

How long have you been seeing this woman beater? Answer me, is he the reason for your weird attitude lately.

You don’t eat, you don’t come out of your room neither do you go to work. Girl I won’t tolerate this again.

Listen to me carefully, go pack up your things, i'm sending you off to your aunts end, and you get the hell out of my house.

Clyde: Sir i'm sorry, Babs I just want to make things right I could hear my dad still yelling.

Me: Clyde you better go now, and don’t come back.

At least this time he listened to me and left.
Everyone went their separate ways. After 30minutes, I went to my dad’s room and met my mum still calming him down.

Me: We need to talk.

Dad: What about, the fact that you kept seeing that woman beater after all he did to you. And had the guts to let him in to my house?

Me: Dad I hope you haven’t forgotten this is my house too. And I have the right to bring in whoever I want to.

And how do you know what he did to me or didn’t do to me. Besides I didn’t even know Clyde would go that extent to step his foots in this house.

Yes I know he came down to London, yes I met him some few times, Yes he is the reason for my weird attitudes.

But I never said anything about Clyde beating me up, and confirming it was the reason we divorced. But Dad don’t you think am old enough to be wherever I want to.

For Christ’s sake am 28 years, i have lots of years ahead of me, to meet a lot of men, if I want to. To have fun, build a family if I ever will.

Can’t you just support me, like you always do when I achieve something? You even go an extra mile for me when i fail.

How is this one different, How is my failed marriage not your priority.That you have to embarrass your fellow man in that manner.

You can’t send me off to my aunt’s place like some kid unless you want me to rebel and leave again. This time around i might leave forever.

I was walking away when my mum spoke up and told him i was right. I waited to hear what he will say but he just stood up and went into their washroom.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 28
“Whoever said love is for the strongest lied, everyone is capable of loving”


Later in the evening, I was with my family watching the late news and my phone kept ringing which I refused to pick up until my dad spoke up, is it that stalker again?

I realize you don’t want to pick up that call over an hour ago.

If he/she is still calling, they might be in trouble why don’t you pick up. I picked up and told him to call me in the next 1 hour, by then we might all be in our various rooms.

Exactly an hour, I took my bath, gave myself a real good massage and put on my best lingerie as if Clyde was coming over, then his call came in, there and then I realized I was fantasizing over him Clyde: Hi love, how was your day.

Me: fine, what do you want Clyde. Can’t you leave me alone? Haven’t you done enough harm to my heart? Why are you tempting me this way? Was it a crime to Love you this much Clyde: You still love me?

Me: No? What a stupid question to ask, I thought to myself.

Clyde: Please grant me just one meet up Me: Okay, tomorrow lunch time, Boyce restaurant.

Clyde: Thank you.

I quickly hang up before he could say something else I had trouble sleeping throughout the whole night, I can’t wait to meet him.

I went to work in my best attire, my best make up and heel, I was so happy modeling on my office corridor beaming with smiles which I haven’t done since I came back from Nigeria.

I remember I used to be so fun until I left London and came back, I kept watching the time until lunch time and I drove off to Boyce restaurant.

When I got there I saw Clyde waving from one corner, He is looking awesome today sine the last time I checked, I got there and he pulled a chair for me like he always does back then.
We were all looking weirdly at each other in silent until he broke it.

Clyde: I don’t know where to start from, but first of all Thank you so much for meeting me I want to officially apologize to you for my behavior in Nigeria Since then life without you has been painful, especially after I learnt the truth.

Me: And what exactly was the truth.

Clyde: Come on don’t make this hard already, I had my own share of embarrassment from your friends already, and do you know what I had to go through just looking for you?

Me: and how is that my problem or my concern. You wanted the music that way so you must as well dance to the tune.
You still haven’t told me the truth here you know.

Clyde: Okay fine, I expected that response from you anyway, I know you didn’t cheat on me, and you love me enough to do that to me I'm sorry I doubted you Love.

Me: who is your Love Clyde? You think it’s that easy to call me all sort of names and still sit here listening to you trying to push your way back in my heart.

You think am that kind of lady who wants to get broken two times.

Clyde: Babs I understand you, I know you don’t want me right now. You are still hurt, i'm not expecting you to take me back either, but I do hope you would consider it.

I was stupid, I knew what I was doing will hurt you, But I did it anyway because I thought I was giving you a piece of what you deserve for cheating not knowing i was harming my own self.

Me: Clyde you broke me completely, I had you what do I need in a man again. i just needed you to give me the benefit of the doubt. Was I not good enough in bed, what else do you want, tell me.

Clyde: You were perfect, forget whatever I said I was bitter and finding ways of getting you out of my life.

Me: And how do you expect me to do that, you seem to have everything figured out, tell me how to forgive you, now I saw myself tearing up whiles Clyde made to touch my hands.

The thought of those hands touching those ladies, I pulled out and told him to the face I don’t want any virus, I have had enough.

Me:Clyde get those hands off me, before you can touch me, get all the test in the world done i don’t want to contract anything, after sleeping with all those girls.

I stood up to leave when he held me again.

Clyde:I didn’t sleep with those girls, and please don’t leave yet.

Me: So you were camping them or they were rather sleeping with you, i am leaving and don’t try to stop me.

He didn’t and I left quietly to my office i became so sad on reaching home and everyone was wondering what was wrong with me. Two days and I haven’t gone to work nor left my room.

My parents tried but I just want an alone time.

The next day I was home and I got 3 hospital reports addressed in my name.
My mum handed me the reports and was wondering when and why I went to 3 different hospitals.

I was confused too, until I opened and realized Clyde took the tests i asked him to. He is clean, no STD’s but he is down on blood, I quickly called him.

Clyde: i'm guessing you got your report, what now Babs.

Me: Nothing Clyde, whatever you wish to achieve in sending this down to my house, Well it didn’t work, by the way you need some blood.
Have a good day. I hanged up, he called severally which I didn’t pick up.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 27
“A kiss may or may not change that situation, give it out anyway”


The next day at the office I asked the receptionist if someone came looking for me which she responded No, I was a bit disappointed but I sure know he won’t give up.

I was worried something might have happened to him, but I quickly brushed it aside when my dad came in to enquire what I want for lunch, he then decided why not go out for lunch rather.

After a couple of hours, it was time for lunch.I decided we should drive in my car.

A few meters away from the office I saw a car following us, I recognized that to be Clyde’s car after his last stalking game, I got nervous.

I didn’t want him to meet my dad, because they certainly will be at each other’s throat. I quickly pulled up at my dad’s favorite restaurant and saw Clyde pulling a chair in some corner.

I was thankful for that As our order was yet to be brought, I excused my dad to visit the washroom.

I beckoned on Clyde to follow me, he did immediately. We met in the hall way, and he pushed me against the wall.

I suddenly became weak, his fragrance, his masculine body and that face. I was struggling to tell him to stand down whiles we talk.

He tried to touch and kiss me until the thought of him sleeping with all those girls came rushing back in.

I pushed him so hard away from me and told him to stay away from me. I warned seriously, when in the first place.

I was going to take his number and arrange a meet up. I quickly adjusted my dress and left him there.

I realized he didn’t follow me to the restaurant again. My best guess, he might have taken the other way out.

I was done eating and I asked for the receipt when the waitress handed me a piece of paper whiles whispering a certain gentleman asked I should give it to you Just then my dad asked if there was a problem, because he saw me looking so funny, I quickly replied, I think I run out of money dad.

He just laughed and asked I should get my expenses to the accountant when we get back, he will get my credit card sorted out.

We left and I tipped the waitress for giving me Clyde’s number. When we got to the office.

I picked up my phone and called his line. He instantly picked up upon hearing my yells.

Me: Can you stop stalking me for Christ’s sake.

Clyde: Babs, am sorry for coming down on you like that.

Can we meet over a drink?

Me: I didn’t call to talk to you.

Clyde: If you didn’t call to speak with me, Why then are you still on the call, i just quickly hang up.

He called severally but I didn’t answer. I quickly called Bebe and told her what has been going on.

She only laughs at my predicament and teases me when she can, to her she wished i met another Clyde. But whatever my decision is, she will always support me.


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[b]Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 26
“Two hearts apart, even far away beats for one another”

BARBARA’S DIARY



Mum:Babs what happened out there, I thought you guys went to eat out, but you came back early and the food has been delivered to you, it has a card too.

My best guess is you have a secret admirer.

Me: What card? Which secret admirer?

Mum I told you, I don’t want any man now. I tried telling my mum we lost our appetite and that we didn’t order for anything to be delivered,
I quickly snatched the card from her before she opens it.

Somehow am protecting this bastard from my father’s wrath, I have a good thing going on here with my family.

Am working on adopting two kids and my life will be back to normal again I don’t ever want to get myself in that web again, well if I want to get laid there are a lot of them out there, I could just hook up with one random guy, besides am not sure I want to get laid now The words in the card pierced me so hard.


Hi Love,

I can’t begin to say how sorry I am but I know, I was stupid, I didn’t deserve you at first but I deserve you now.Am a better man now, I know you have heard this before.

But believe me now when I say that is over.

What should I do to make up for this? We have come a long way, I lost all my friends because I messed up Nobody is willing to help get you back.

I don’t care if I have to face your parents This time am ready to go through anything for you.Tell me we can start afresh. Am sure by now you heard from your friends I was wrong all long.

Am sorry for breaking your heart and trust I miss you so much, your love, smile and the meals.

I know you want to start all over but kindly include me in your plans.Even for the silent treatments, so far as I can get to see you every day, am sure I can stand it for the sake of the love I have for you.

I will wait until you are ready.

Clyde,
Claytons Hotel room number 45A east end


Clyde has a way with his words, they always get me agreeing to every bit of his silly ideas but not this time
I tore the card apart whiles my mum stares on.

I ordered the food to be given to the gate man Surprisingly my mum didn’t ask much questions. I rushed to my room and cried a little, then I called up Bebe, malia and Livie they told me to do what I feel is right.

I told them I am sure I don’t want Clyde back anymore, they insisted I don’t know what am talking about.

It’s true, I still love the guy, he stirs up this fire in me am not able to explain, and he gives me the chills. I admit I want to be in his arms, even right at this minute.

But I wish he would have apologized when I was still with him. I would have taken him back, tore the divorce papers and give him a hot kiss to seal our marriage.

But now it’s too late, my parents are involved and there is no way, they are going to let me fall for Clyde again
I was in my room when my dad came to inquire what happened today with the delivery i got.

I explained to him, I got this guy asking me out which I wasn’t ready for and he understood saying so far as it’s not that heart breaker of a husband then he is fine This man will do anything for his only girl, I must better warn Clyde to go back to Nigeria.

I love him but I don’t want to destroy my family again because my dad might end up killing him and go to jail for it.

I thought of what to do until I remembered, i didn’t get the room number off the card, I sure do know the hotel But am not going to go there asking for a room number like some stalker I will stay put, until I meet him again, I do want to see him again Since the last encounter with the delivery.

I have not been able to get him out of my mind, I keep seeing his face everywhere now, at work, at home, my outings and everything.
He seemed to have an effect on me anytime he is around.

My soul and body yearns for him, it wasn’t like that back in Nigeria when we had the issue and I was so bent on getting him back,I think the difference now is, he has apologized and dare do that in a restaurant, the Clyde I know is a lot of things but he is too proud to kneel and apologize in a restaurant full of people.

He may kneel to propose or give me special gifts, but not to the extent of sitting on the floor crying. I thought for a while until sleep took over.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 25
“Determination of a man knows no bounds”


But I never stopped frequenting the company, until one sunny Saturday afternoon I saw her pulling out of her mansion in another car I guess she has so many, so I shouldn’t expect to see her in only one car.

I followed her until she pulled up at a restaurant with a guy leading the way in Instantly my mood changed, jealousy swept over my feelings, then I remembered the same feelings that made me loose her besides that guy is too young to be her “something” I encouraged myself.

I walked in after them, they got their order and was about to eat When I pulled another chair beside Babs.

Babs: What the hell?

Me: Before you say anything, please hear me out, we are in a public place.

Babs: Oh really, so I should keep quiet when you are stalking me? Or you came here to finish what you have started.

I heard from my friends you might come, I know how smart you are, no matter how far I hide you will always find your way to hurt me again. She said a lot of hurtful things and I just kept quiet, listened and the guy with her was just staring at me.

Me: Babs am not here to hurt you please, I instantly knelt down to the amazement and stares of on lookers.

I sat on the floor weeping like a baby, She just grabbed her bag and pulled the young guy and they left the restaurant after leaving some money on the table.

I quickly runned after her, but she drove so fast away.

I told myself, today wasn’t that bad, and I quickly ordered another of the food they were eating earlier. When I entered people were still staring at me like I killed someone.

I followed the order van to their gate where he delivered the food and left, I waited there to see any action but to no avail I went back to my hotel for a nap.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest thoughts

EPISODE 24
“I will travel so many miles to tell you I love you again”


So the next few weeks I made preparations for my travel to San Francisco On my arrival, I went to several places I know Barbara usually frequent but to no avail.

For three weeks, "I got nothing'

Until one evening I met one of Barbara’s numerous friends back here who after narrating everything to her had pity on me.

Though she lost contact with Barbara after we left probably because I changed her number she managed to give me her dad’s company name.

Apparently it’s a well-known and popular company in London; THE WILSON’s


I thanked her so much and took her line, just in case everything works out she can talk to Barbara again.The next two days, I spent shopping for Barbara, I don’t know what she likes now Until I ended up buying nothing at all.

The third day I left for London, got there late so I booked a Hotel for myself which I had no intention of leaving now until I get my woman back
I relaxed for 2days planning on how to get through to Barbara on paperThe next day, I got a hired car, for the rest of my stay in London.

I was just so sure I will leave with Barbara soon. I had so much luck in locating her dad’s company with the help of the driver.

I was just going to find out their house address from the receptionist because I had no idea she has started working in the same company she was running from I got to the receptionist, and met some handsome guy there waiting to see someone Just then the receptionist called out to him.

Receptionist: Hello sir, Miss Barbara Wilson will see you in just five minutes.

Handsome Guy: Thank you I got confused as to whether she works here now, so I got closer to the receptionist and asked if Barbara works here now, she told me she resumed work a month ago and hoping to take over from the Dad once he retires.

I asked enough questions just to be sure it was my Barbara.

I was so nervous when I saw the guy going up to see Barbara I waited outside in my car to catch up with Babs when she closed for the day but to no avail.

The next day I woke up early to stalk at her company gate but yet still nothing. A week after waiting in the reception, I saw a figure walking to her car outside which I had no doubts it was Barbara.

She has become so much beautiful, with her curvy hips and her beautiful black hair With her 7 inches heel, her beautiful official wear, she modeled to her car, i tried running after her but then I got glued at one place.

But I managed to get her car number and colour which I can follow later some other day.

For now am in so much pain, so much shock as to seeing my Babs again. I went back to the hotel, to get some rest, where I would continue the stalk tomorrow.

The next day, finally came and as early as 5 am, I was in front of Babs Company I waited until she pulled in at 6 am, I was wondering why the boss would come to work this early Just then I saw her coming out with some files and I followed her car.

At a point I felt she knew our car was following her because she kept looking in her mirror to see the driver. We kept avoiding until she pulled in front of a huge and beautiful mansion, the gate is controlled remotely, so there is no way I can storm in there and ask of Babs.

So I stood far away, when she entered, and I left.

Now I know where she stays and work, so it’s very easy to talk to her. I took some days off my stalking, when I started again I realized she hasn’t been coming to work, close to 3days I asked the receptionist to book an appointment and I was told she traveled for a conference with her Dad and she has no idea when she will return.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 23
“Communication is the root of every relationship, even the very little things needs to be talked about”



I quickly called my mum, to find out if she knows the whereabouts of Barbara, She only told me to carry my own cross It’s not like I have confirmed anything yet, but I feel like my heart will explode.

The next day I went to Bryan and Julia’s house I knew very well, I lost them the minute I decided to embarrass them that way
But luckily they were so accommodating, they told me they have no idea where Barbara is.

But I don’t believe them, I don’t blame them either, I just wanted a meeting between Livie and Malia, so I can get some explanations as to why he kept sending my wife secret messages.

I just hope they agree to come, But then what do I do with the truth am looking for Why didn’t I look for the truth rather at first? At this point a lot of things are going through my mind. Just then Bryan called; Livie has refused to see me.

I then called Bebe, after millions of apology she agreed to see me. She came to my place later in the evening.

Me: Please have a seat, what do I offer you.

Bebe: keep the drink to yourself and keep this conversation short.

Me: First of all am sorry, I know it wouldn’t change anything but I just wanted to know the whereabouts of my wife.

Bebe: your wife, have you forgotten how you threw a divorce paper into her face, Like she meant nothing to you after all these years.

For your information, I don’t know her whereabouts, Even if I do there is no way I will give out that information to you.

Me: Bebe please, I agree I might have messed up, I just wanted to clear my doubts.

Bebe: Really, Clyde you still talk about doubts when I thought you have finally come to your senses.

You know I think I should leave now, I can’t sit here and you insult my friend again, after all she has no obligation to you anymore.

Bebe stood up to leave and all I could say is am sorry I couldn’t fathom what I was saying the sorry for, but I feel some tiny guilt and regret
There and then, I called up Livie’s hospital to book an appointment for the next day.

I just couldn’t wait to get to the bottom of this. I was finally called in to Livie’s office and he was like, you want to see a gynecologist or you brought someone with you.

Me: Livie you know why am here, could we please sit somewhere and talk.

Livie: This is my working environment, whatever you have to say can wait maybe when I close from here, I will see what I can arrange I just heard Livie saying next, then I knew I had to leave.

I checked their notice board and realized he will be closing in about 5 hours I told myself I can wait, I was there close to 7 hours, until he came out and I runned after him like a puppy running after his mum.

Until he waited and luckily didn’t ask any questions, he just told me to follow him.

We got to a house with a giant gate, I assumed that was his house, we entered and parked both our cars. He called out to malia, who quickly came out beaming with smiles and gave Livie a hug then noticed I was standing at the door, she quickly withdrew and said Hello you are welcome.

She asked me to come in and have a seat, they both excused themselves for about two minutes, I could hear tiny voices in the kitchen as to they want to agree on what to tell me then they came out malia headed upstairs with Livie’s bag and Livie with a tray of juice I smiled, exchange of responsibility.

Livie: My wife will join us soon, oh there she is.

We officially exchanged pleasantries and I asked if I could talk Me: I apologize for causing your household some kind of disrespect, but am here to find some answer.

With what happened at the restaurant, I understand now why Barbara insisted she wasn’t the one.

That could only mean whatever messages I saw on her old line, I might have been mistaken too.

Livie: Which messages, from which number. I don’t get you Clyde.

Clyde: I have them here, from your number Livie take a look at it, I handed over Barbara’s phone to Livie.

I remember when I first saw the messages they really didn’t mean anything to me that much I thought it was just a friendly message until I met you guys severally at the restaurant which she denied.

I nearly believed until my secretary also confirms meeting you and Barbara there some time ago.

Malia: These messages were not from my husband, yes I admit that’s his number but we exchanged our second numbers a year ago I guess by then Barbara might have saved it with Livie’s name.

You can even see it saved Livie 2?

How could you distrust your wife this way, over just a simple message like this ones? What is wrong with saying I miss you or thanks for coffee, let’s do this again I can’t believe you could hurt a good woman over this kind of messages It just shows you don’t love her or even trust her.

Me: OMG!

Am so sorry, I just can’t believe I was this stupid. Yes I admit I had a little personal issues.

I battled with some weird feelings but I think I have gone too far I quickly muttered and they all agreed to my loudest thoughts Me: How can I make this right Livie, you are the only one who can tell me where I can find Babs.

Livie: And what exactly do you think you can achieve, besides I have no idea where Barby is, Even if I do I don’t think she will want me to tell you.

Please am not sure I want to be involved in this anymore than I have already.

We talked for a while and after several pleas they refused to tell me where Babs is. I went home so heart broken, for once I can see clearly now.

All feelings came rushing back in, I remembered how much my life changed after meeting Barbara.

How much a Casanova I wasn’t anymore, how much loving her changed me? I want all that back, at least if she doesn’t want me anymore, I just want her forgiveness.

Days passed by with no luck of finding Barbara, my parents weren’t willing to help either.

I got drunk one day and took a taxi to Bebe’s end. She had no option than to take me in for a few days.

Most times I overheard her talking on phone with someone my gut tells me it’s Barbara because they seem to be arguing a lot.

After some few more days, she drove me home and told me i should start from where I found love. I might definitely find love there again I thought she was giving me a hint as to where Barbara left to.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 22
“Don’t wait until you regret a wrong deed before you say sorry, Say it once the deed is done”

CLYDE’s DIARY



Days and months passed by there is no show of Babs around the house, I asked the gate man and he has no idea where she went to
I wasn’t bothered.

I thought she was just avoiding me, since her wardrobe is still intact, Little did I know she took only the things she brought with her.

I went about my daily activities, from the clubs to restaurants I wasn’t ashamed of my life After work one day, I wanted to get something from Mr. Biggs for dinner since I can’t cook I was about leaving the place after getting my order, when my eyes caught up with Livie and Babs.


I only saw Barbara’s side cheeks but I can see Livie clearly. I quickly told myself, today their cup is full I quickly walked towards their table where they were taking selfies.

And started shouting, Barbara today your cup is full.

Then Livie saw me and instantly stood up, everyone is watching us now.

I then shouted, Babs name and tapped her on the shoulder, she turned and I realized I was mistaken, this strange woman I always see Livie with isn’t my Barbara, it’s a look alike, but how?

They look so much alike, the walk and especially her cheeks.

The last thing I heard was, Clyde is that you? Are you okay, the way you are referring to my sister as Barbara I hope you aren’t hallucinating.

By the time I realized where I was after that incident was on my steering wheel, driving to no particular place in mind. I may never be able to tell how I managed to leave the scene I created earlier.

I finally stopped at the thought of what if I was wrong all along, I quickly changed my thoughts to; remember she cheated that’s why she left I cleared my mind after some hours sitting alone and realizing I may never find answers to what am looking for sitting down in my car.

I quickly drove home, and questioned my gate man.

Me: Do you remember your madam’s friend, the doctor I was exchanging words with the last time.

He said he was here two times before he visited again the last time. Do you know when he came and what he did when he came around.

Gate man: Oh, the doctor Oga, he came first time with some two women to see Madam, and second time he came with the other woman. Some fine woman.

They were very happy due to the laughs coming out from the veranda, I can’t tell what they were doing inside, but they sure look so happy and having fun.

Me: Thank you, I managed to mutter, I was confused and disappointed I didn’t find anything incriminating enough to confirm what I have been blubbing about along. Could this just be a mistake?

Did I blame my wife for something she didn’t do? I went inside my room, sat for a long time, tried several times to keep the new drama out of my mind but I couldn’t. What about the text messages on her other line.

Of course she hasn’t read most of them so she can’t confirm. I need to get to the bottom of this.

I went ahead to Bab’s room, which am fully aware she hasn’t been to the house in a long time. I looked around, there and then I realized most of her things are not in place.


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Love Me Again

By: Loudest thoughts

EPISODE 21
“Goodbyes are not forever”


The next week, I was on my way to the airport. Bebe and Jake escorted me I saw myself at Heathrow airport the exact time I needed to be there in London.

My parents picked me up, everyone was in tears, but I was crying for another reason I left London for close to 5 years now, am back but with nothing Well, I still have a life to get back to, I assured myself.

We finally arrived home, and nothing has changed My entire family, nuclear, extended and friends were waiting to welcome me home
I had to really dodge the whereabouts of your husband question, but I knew I may not avoid forever. Soon enough everyone left, and I was alone in my room when mummy came in.

Mum:How was your journey?

Me:fine thank you, to be honest it was so hectic and am glad am finally home. Can’t wait to get back to my life.

Mum:Oh really, How are you here alone, How is your husband, why didn’t he come with you.

Me: mum am tired, and too many questions at a time won’t help.

Mum: okay my daughter, we will talk later, welcome back once again. Weeks passed and I keep avoiding the topic anytime we are having a family time.

As if I was hoping Clyde would come back for me soon and this nightmare of ever telling my parents they were right from the beginning would give me some relief.

A month of my return, no day passed by without wishing Clyde was here with me.

Bebe never stopped calling, the rest call once a while. I was on phone with Livie and he was asking if I found someone else and I replied one heart break and a divorce is enough.

I wasn’t ready to go through it again Just then my mum entered, Barbara, what did that man do to you exactly I can see it in your eyes, I can feel you went through something terrible And I just heard you are divorced, OMG!

Your father will kill this man.

Me:Mum, stop yelling, yes am divorced, that’s what you and Dad wanted all along

It’s over now, that’s all to it. You can leave now Suddenly tears engulfed me as if my tear duct just got opened. I cried uncontrollably until my mum wrapped her arms around me in a quick and calm hug.

We stayed that way for quiet some minutes, until mummy spoke up.

Mum: am sorry you had to go through this.

I can’t imagine how difficult that was. But if you are not ready to talk about it, I will wait until you are. Now get some sleep.

Me:Okay mum, thank you.

But I can’t talk to Dad, His anger I can face but the embarrassment and that I told you so, I can’t take it. Please talk to him for me.

Mum:That’s not a problem, we are just glad you are back home in one piece. I quickly laid myself on the bed, which she covered me with a blanket like she always do when we were children. I woke up somewhere late at night and saw my dad dozing off in the sofa beside my bed.

He might have pulled it from its initial state Obviously my mum didn’t waste time to tell him about the divorce.
I quickly muttered Daddy and he woke up immediately asking if am okay.

I told him I was fine, he shouted out for my mum who quickly rushed in with a serving tray, which I assumed is my dinner? I asked what was going on, and they were behaving so weird.

Mum:You slept for close to 10 hours, we were just so worried.

Me: Mum, am fine, I was just so tired from the journey that’s all.

Dad: Baby eat something please.

Me: Okay, I will definitely eat but not in here, Besides you guys don’t have to treat me like I just buried someone close, common, it’s just a divorce.

Am almost over it, you don’t have to pamper me. So I don’t feel embarrassed about my failed marriage, which I know you two are so overjoyed about

Dad:Barbara, stop it now, You think a parent will be happy to see the daughter go through this kind of thing.

Yes we are glad you are back safely to your home, and we were not in support of your marriage, but we never wished you harm.

Can’t a father pamper his baby girl anymore? Or we should have thrown you out when you came rather than welcoming you with an open arms, Or you think we actually prayed for you to fail in your marriage.

Me: Dad am sorry, I guess this whole thing is yet to hit me so hard, And am just finding an easy way out trying to give the blame to you guys. He just stood up and left, mummy runned after him with the food tray

I think this is the reality, Clyde is gone, he is no more mine. Let me get out there, get some real work to occupy my time and mind
All my life I have never done anything for myself like a real job. I keep volunteering all over.

Daddy’s big idea of me becoming his successor of the company since my brothers are still young. I do go in to his work place sometimes to run things, I will wait for him to cool down so I ask for that opportunity to be given to me once more.

I went downstairs and dad was not there, my brothers as usual were fighting over their video games then I went back to my dad’s door, I knocked severally before he asked to come in.

Me:Daddy, I said am sorry now, with that weird Nigerian tone. I rushed to give him a tight hug, which he had no option to hug back.

Dad:you get me worried when you rebel and talk to me that way I hope you are fine, I know your mum promised you she wouldn’t ask for details But I wish you could tell me, but then I won’t push you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it that’s fine.

Me:Dad can you let this one pass please, I want to start afresh by going back to my duties at work.

Dad:Really, thank you my dear.

Now I can rest for sometime We talked for a while until I decided I was going in for some coffee, since it’s late for heavy food.

The next day I was ready for work, my dad gave me a tour of the office, nothing has changed that much. My office space was still intact, I quickly got myself involved in work Day after day, I receive so much pampering from my parents, which is getting me worried.

When they start like that, they have something up their sleeves.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 20
“The pains we feel makes us stronger, though we may cry along the line”



I seemed strong but I can break down anytime soon. I just pray for strength, though I had no idea what going on my knees to pray will do for me.

After a week, I got so much worried he hasn’t shown up yet, I called her mum and she told me she hasn’t heard from him I asked myself why I was worried.

I was in my room, after a week and 2 days since he left home and I heard his car moving in I peeped through the window to check if he was the one, after confirming I laid on my bed, while informing the mum he was back.

She muttered thank you and we hanged up Since then, it was I dodging him or he does I finally told my parents I was returning home They were so happy so didn’t ask too much questions.

Am sure they will when they realize I had no plans of leaving.

However, no day passes without lots of regrets clouding my judgments I wished things were different, but they are not, and I have to start leaving soon.

My plans are almost ready, telling my parents speed up the process with their numerous links. Bebe never stopped calling, neither did the Oke’s
Livie and Malia called later on to apologize after the last fight.

I admire what they have, no matter how much Clyde painted the story in front of Malia.

She said she knows what her man can do, he is a lot of things but not a cheat and if he ever cheats, he wouldn’t have the guts to introduce the woman he is cheating on her with.

They are not perfect but this is what every couple should learn,You trust your partner to the extent that when the truth hits you in the face, you can still stand up for them.

I don’t know how I can get rid of this love, but I think with time, it will diminish I must admit I do love my husband despite the divorce and he ripping my heart apart.

But somehow I still feel he is there and never going anywhere I was coming back one afternoon after a visit to the embassy and I met Clyde and a lady coming out of the room.

Their appearance and demeanor shows what they are clearly as if I wasn’t bothered, I just walked pass them to the room I quickly closed the door and started crying all over again.

I am now accepting the fact that my marriage is finally over I started packing up my things, the one’s I came here with. I left behind the things I acquired with Clyde, I want nothing that will remind me of him Before he came back, I left to Bebe’s end.

I called up my Dad, to help finalize the papers I can’t wait for another two weeks as the embassy stated. He tried putting words in my mouth, but I refuse to tell them anything even though I know at a point, I have to after a week at Bebe’s.

Clyde never bothered to find out why I never came back home. It’s not like it bothers me that much, but at least I was hoping he did.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 19
“Once a Casanova, always a Casanova, you only believe you are that bad if you lack the overcoming spirit”



Yes I know about my husband’s past, he told me he was a “Casanova”, but then I trust him after we realized we are so much in love with each other and can’t go a day without feeling what I know is love but now hatred.

I loved him despite his numerous ladies he slept with in the past, I understood, his looks got him that far. Was I selfish to want to keep him all to myself, or I was stupid to marry a fine Casanova.

Just when I was busy thinking about his past, my mother in law spoke up.

Maa: My daughter, how can I change this great damage that has been done?

Am sure you have already taken in enough of his lies, And how he would defend himself when he is caught cheating.

I know he cheated, the same thing he did to the many ladies we wanted him to marry, They all left, but you stayed. He told us, he got his act together, and I can clearly see that’s not true.

Me: Maa, this is beyond repairs, I then showed her the divorce papers.

Maa: What? How? When? Then how are you still here. I narrated to her my proposal to stay for at least two months.

Me: Look I love your son, but if he doesn’t want me anymore, I have to leave that wasn’t my decision, it was his and I accepted my fate the moment I signed those papers.

My intention was to stay for this two months and check if there are any regrets from his end but he is not going to change now, I have to get going too, my tickets and visa would be ready very soon.

Maa: You sure you don’t want to give it another try?

Me: Yes Maa, I want to get back home to the family I have left behind for this one which only ripped my heart out.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 18
“A mother in-law who rebukes their children for their wrong doing rather than supporting is a real keeper”


Just then I heard a car pull in the compound and I saw my mother in law coming out I then shoved my eyes at him and asked; so you called your mum here to do what.

I am waiting to see what she will do, she better not try anything funny or else she will smell pepper I left him there, and saw him walking towards the door to meet her mum.

Still scratching and checking his head out. I was in my room, and his mother came knocking.

I welcomed her and she enquired why I didn’t come down to see her, I told her I was asleep and had no idea she was around. We talked for a while and I decided to cook dinner just for the sake of those days.

After laying the table, i told them I was not hungry and then was going upstairs when she insisted i just sit with them. It was so weird at the table, I just kept burning inside, How this man destroyed my life and still had the guts to eat my food.

They finally finished and I packed up the table and kitchen, just went straight to my room to sleep Woke up to an annoying knock on my door, it was my mother in law.

Maa: We need to talk.

Me: By this time?

Maa: Yes, besides its just 3 am. And I need an explanation to why Clyde is sleeping on the couch.

And don’t tell me nothing, like he did last night, I noticed how weird and silent the whole house is since yesterday I arrived I know you guys, but your husband told me nothing.

Me: Maa with due respect, since your son told you nothing is going on, I think it should remain that way.

Maa: Come with me downstairs.

We walked to the living room and found Clyde sleeping on the couch His mum woke him up immediately while he struggled to get the sleep off his eyes.

Clyde: What is it again, I want to sleep Then he opened his eyes and saw me sitting on one of the sofas
Clyde: What did you tell my mum?

I hope whatever you told her, you included the fact that you cheated on me with your gynecologist and tried to shoot me down this evening with my father’s gun, if she hadn’t showed up, only God knows what would have happened.

His mum shoved me an eye, and surprisingly, the mother in law, i thought i knew was somebody else for once I was always under the impression she supports the son even when he goes wrong.

The only thing she managed to say was OMG.

That was it, she stood up and off she went to her room. Without asking to hear my side of the affair tale.

I can’t tell how I managed through the night, but I woke up late and Clyde was not home My best guess was he left for work.
I met my mother in law at the dining table, chewing on something.

Maa: My daughter, you are awake, how was the night I was shockprised, couldn’t utter a word for a minute, when I finally found my voice I managed to say, yes Maa am fine.

She asked to join her at the table which I did, apparently she was waiting for me but couldn’t wait anymore so she took the lead.

I contemplated on eating her breakfast, as I don’t know what is going through her mind, but if she had wanted to harm me, am not sure I would be awake now. We ate in absolute silence, until getting to the end of packing up the table she asked to see me when am done.

I finished washing up, took along my copy of the divorce paper and headed downstairs I met her already in deep thoughts I decided to start the conversation as I know what she wanted to talk about.

Me: Maa before you say anything, I want you to know,I would never do anything to hurt your son, before I could finish my sentence, she cut in.

Maa: I know you didn’t cheat on my son my daughter, I know my son so well. He was a lot of things before he got married, though I understand he changed for you.

Anytime he becomes so insecure and aggressive with someone cheating on him I know he is lieing, besides you aren’t the first one he’s done that to.

The only difference from the earlier one’s are you guys are married. I know it might resurface again, those traits.

I don’t know how much he told you about his past when you guys decided to spend your life’s together. I was thankful he found someone who could love him despite his past, I know I defend my son too much sometimes.

But yesterday, I looked into his eyes when he was talking about you, I know my son too well and when he is lieing, I know my son too well, when he starts his things, I can tell if he is lieing or not so don’t worry, I believe you cannot hurt a fly.

She called several times before I came out of my reverie, simply because I was dumbfounded.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

Episode 17
“Whatever you do violence is not the answer”


In fact I was hoping they come whiles he is still at home, but then they came in a little early. I was inside talking with Malia, while Livie wanted to pick up his phone from the car parked outside.

Suddenly we heard some yelling’s outside. Malia and I quickly rushed out, and saw Clyde holding Livie’s shirt at his neck.

Clyde however was trying to beat the hell out of Livie. We rushed to their end and Livie gave us a sign to pause and do nothing.

Clyde: What the hell are you doing here in my house?

Livie: I came to see your ex-wife, since she has no obligation towards you anymore And you decided to let a good woman walk away just because of your stupidity and jealousy I came to check on her. Do you have a problem with that?

Clyde: Did you just call me stupid. Well it’s not your fault, you got what you always wanted, now you can put on my shoes.

I knew all those gynecologist appointments were just a means of sleeping with my wife. After several yelling’s and insults from one end to another, I saw myself yelling out so loud.

Livie: Look, man you are making a big mistake here.

You know a man slept with your wife, when you catch them red handed or you come face to face with the other guy. You should be able to tell right now I don’t have a thing for your wife.

I never did If I did, she would be running into my arms, just after her divorce. She isn’t that cheap, like the street ones you pick up.

Ooh you think I don’t know, Ruby, Mercy, Chinaza, should I continue, I have a whole list, I knew all along. I could have told your wife but then I wanted you guys to work your own thing out, When I found out you guys were having a problem.

The last time I visited was to confirm my suspicions, after I confronted some of the ladies after you guys met.

Me: Livie and you never told me anything, what the hell is wrong with everybody around me. Malia you knew too?

Malia: Was just trying to do well by my husband, we agreed, your problems are ours but then we wouldn’t be part of breaking your marriage. We tried reaching out several times to find out if you guys are okay, but then we couldn’t really talk about it.

Me: So that was what all these coffee meet ups, the how are you text messages were all about, and am thinking anytime I receive those messages from you malia, you guys might have met this cheat of a husband somewhere.

Malia: It wasn’t an easy topic to decide to talk about in just a day Me: So this started when and you two never bothered to talk about it right?
All this time, Clyde was still face to face with Livie with his shirt in his grips.

Clyde:So you want to tell me you didn’t sleep with my wife, you liar.

And I can see you brought a camouflage of a wife, You both think you can fool me. Malia or whatever you call yourself.

You believe this cheat of a man and this tramp of a wife here I then shouted stop it now on top of my voice, when I heard Clyde call me a tramp. He immediately let go of Livie.

Malia and Livie tried to reach out to me on the floor and I slowly told them to leave me alone and leave my house, as if it was still mine
I picked up myself from the floor and went inside. That coward of a husband left the house like he always does.

What he didn’t know is I was waiting patiently for him this time I have been hurt too much not to do anything I waited until 1 am when I heard his car enter the compound I quickly opened the door when I heard him turning the knob.

Me: Welcome you cheat, take a seat there.

Clyde:What is this? In my own house? Really?

Me: I said take a seat, or I will beat the hell out of you now.

Clyde: And you want what now? I quickly dragged him to the seat, bringing the gun behind the door, holding a gun to his head.

He forgot he brought his father’s hunting gun to our house when he said he wanted to take me on a hunting journey. Clyde quickly sat down,and made several attempts to talk but with the gestures I made with the gun he couldn’t.

Me: I think I have been quiet enough, this is my time to ask questions. I need correct answers, or you will see the other side of me.

Me:How long have you been seeing those girls? He wasn’t responding, I threatened with the gun again.

I said how long have you been cheating on me with those whores Answer me you coward, I hit him with the gun on his head and watched him yell out.

I said how long has it been?

Clyde: 6 to 7 months, I think.

Me: Wow, you think?

Really. I was about to cry but I realized if I do I might not achieve anything here yet. Why?

I mean i gave you everything, my life, my body, my heart, Or was it something I wasn’t doing right? To the best of my knowledge we had no issues, with our s-x life,so am asking you why?

Clyde:Why? Because you cheated on me and you think you are that good in bed? Common Babs you and I know you fake it sometimes.

Me:Wrong answer, you think I cheated on you? Or you know.

And what makes you think I fake it, Besides should that be the reason why you should rip my heart out that way?

Tell me what exactly, when or where, because I can’t remember a thing. Clyde: I don’t know what you want to achieve here, but this is like kidnapping, I can sue you.

Me: Go ahead, if you are a man.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 16
“It’s okay to cry sometimes, it gives you the clarity you need”


I was silence throughout our drive home which Bebe insisted I stay at her end.

I called Livie later at Bebe’s end, he came confused as to what i was blubbing about over the phone.

Now it’s Bebe’s turn to speak; I hope the allegations made against her are not true I trust my friend wouldn’t do anything like that, but it’s you I don’t trust.

Come down, I said amidst tears.

Livie: am surprised all these went on and madam here never bothered to tell me about it.

I admit I like Barbara but as a friend, besides I have a partner of 5 years.

5 years? Bebe retorted! Wow, so why are you not married yet, 5 years is a long time.

Livie: we just understand each other, we are practically married already, and just the ring is missing We both hate the idea of putting on a ring.

We signed our own vows, hanging on our wall and that’s it, we are married Or whatever we call it, we are happy with each other, and Barby here knows my wife so well.

They met several times over coffee, after I introduced them.

So I don’t know what your husband is talking about.

Bebe: wow, I like this. Well am glad I don’t have to worry about you.

Livie: My partner will say this is stupid.

Me:that’s fine, am sure I will be okay.

Just greet Malia for me when you get home.

Livie: If you ever need anything don’t hesitate I left the next day to my house, well that’s not my house anymore Just for Clyde to question my whereabouts last night.

Clyde: where do you think you are coming from?

Me: Does that concern you, or didn’t you read my terms and condition of living in this house.

If you haven’t; it says I have no obligation towards you and am free to go where I want to and bring home whoever I want to So clear off my face, or you will see the other side of me For once, I like the way am handling a heartbreak.

Maybe because somehow am still stupidly in love with him.

I woke up late, since it was a Saturday, walked to the kitchen and met my ex-husband trying to fry egg which am not sure he has ever done.

The last time he tried it was a disaster, so I intentionally stroll around pretending I was looking for something I couldn’t find. He keeps looking back to see what I was doing, then I heard him shout, ‘ouch’

He burnt his hand while trying to hold the handle of the pan with once again his disastrous fried egg.

He got it burnt again, I couldn’t help but laugh I quickly fixed my own egg, and sat beside him at the table. He gave me a look which I have never seen before.

Was he starting to regret?

I just gave him the rest of my egg and left to the kitchen.

He seemed like he wouldn’t take it, so l left it on the table. I walked pass and he has eaten it, leaving his burnt one for the dog I think I smiled to myself and went upstairs.

Days passed by, and I realized I had to tell my parents I would be home in about some few weeks I was sitting outside by the pool one Saturday when I saw my ex-husband, in a polo shirt and his favorite jean trousers.

Those were the same i gave to him as a gift on several of our shopping journey’s we use to go on I stared at him for a couple of minutes, my tears started to flow I told myself, I was never going to cry again, last week, but here am I now.

I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand, am I starting to regret signing that paper I saw him walking towards his car, he looked so much handsome in that polo shirt now, unlike before I always tease him, the shirt looks on him like he just came out of a 30 days fast.

I kept watching him until he drove out, I was cooking lunch when Livie informed me he was going to come over with Malia. I thought that was a bad idea, but then I remembered I had no obligations towards Clyde so I can decide to do whatever I want to.


To be continued

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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 15
“Take a minute when making life time decisions, ask yourself can I forgive myself easily when the need arises so you don’t end up with million regrets”

Early the next day, Bebe came waiting to take me to Julia’s office.

We got there, just when my husband came in from wherever he has been spending the night these days.


Julia: You are all welcome, so as you are all aware of situations.

My husband and I will like to know your minds.


If you are for the counseling or you still want to go ahead with the divorce.

Me: to decide I just wanted to know what wrong I have done to deserve this kind of broken marriage.

Julia spoke up.

Clyde over to you, answer your wife.


Clyde:Julia I don’t have to give an explanation to this lazy cheat of a wife.

Bebe nearly slapped him with those eyes of hers, surprisingly I was just so calm.

Julia: you think your wife cheated on you or you know she has and still does and please no insulting of each other, let’s be calm and find solution to this problem.

Clyde:I know she has with that doctor friend of hers, Livie.

Please I just don’t want to be married to her anymore.

Me:You know and you have evidence of that?


Cut me that crap, between you and me, who always meet his partners at the Majestic Hotel in Lagos, huh! And you dare call me a cheat.


Livie and I were good friend until you told me to stop seeing him, Which I did because I love you.


What wouldn’t I do for your happiness? I love you, and there was no other man as you think.

Can’t a woman have male friends anymore when she is married?

I don’t know where that is coming from, but I always tell you whenever I need to meet Livie.


You sometimes tag along, what’s the problem again.

When did you start distrusting me as the love of your life?

I mean I lost my family because of you, do I have to lose something for you again.

My good friend, yes; I lost him too for you What again, Clyde, answer me.


Clyde: you are here lamenting like an angel, as if you don’t know what am talking about.


It wasn’t once, it wasn’t twice. I saw you guys together.


Me: infact I don’t know what you are talking about, Just tell me when and what you mean you saw us together.


Clyde: Am not here to argue with a tramp like you, besides he has seen whatever he needs to on the examination table. Do you have to go offering again?


Me:Bryan, have you made the adjustment to the papers as I asked last night.


Bryan: Yes I did, but are you sure of what you want to do?

Clyde: what adjustments is she talking about Bryan? Talk to me.


Bryan: your wife doesn’t want anything from you as you stated in your divorce paper, she just wants about two months to get herself back to San Francisco.

She doesn’t need your help, she can sort herself out.


Clyde: And you didn’t tell me that because, well that’s not a problem, so far as she’s out of my hair in 2months, am fine.


Besides she can afford to transport herself back, she can run to Livie for help that’s all she’s good at these days.


Me:You think this is about needing someone or money I already had money before you met me, so don’t make it seem like, I go offering myself to men for money.


Trust me, you will live to regret this Clyde, and when you do,it will be too late.


Because there will be nothing left to salvage, Now pass me that piece of paper, I grabbed it from Bryan and signed.


Julia and Bryan thank you so much. Will call later.


I grabbed my handbag and Bebe confused as to what I just did, as she never spoke a word in there.

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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 14
“When you tell mama and Dada about your marriage baggage, mama and Dada will always remember when you have forgotten”


As soon as I entered the room, I saw Clyde with a paper sitting on the couch, I walked pass him and he yelled. Hey you, don’t you know how to greet?


I turned and muttered good evening, He just threw the paper i saw him holding earlier to my face I picked it up, made an attempt to read but I just couldn’t I dropped to the floor and started crying.


He stood up and walked pass me upstairs, there and then I found the need to call my dad. Because I am definitely going back home just that this time with a broken heart. But I dare not tell my Dad that part of my story.


Me: Hello dad, it’s your baby girl. He complained of calling several times which I apologized for.

I was surprised even though I was at the verge of losing my marriage to a divorce Which was just thrown out to my face as if the past years meant nothing, I had the courage to stop crying when I heard my dad’s voice.


Dad:Baby, how have you been, how is marriage, your mum told me you aren’t fine. Has that man succeeded in destroying you?


Me: Dad, not again, that man is my husband. Whatever mum has told you is not true. I am fine, you worry too much for nothing and thank you for not forgetting me.

Dad: and why is your voice trembling, Talk to me or I will come down to Nigeria and whisk you away.


Me: Dad I called because, I miss you and wanted to clear the tension between us and apologize for not following your orders.


Dad: baby I have forgiven you, but promise me if you ever need any kind of help, Your home will always be yours.

Whatever it is, I wouldn’t bring my parents into my marriage, not ever I have already failed the third party rule but then I trust the people around me right now.


Just then Julia called and said she heard from her husband about the divorce papers. Apparently Bryan has spent a week trying to talk Clyde out of it but he has refused, So we should all meet tomorrow.


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Love Me Again

By:Loudest Thoughts

EPISODE 13
“The answer is not ANGER, sometimes you just need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on”


The next morning, everything seemed weird. As Clyde made out of the house without his breakfast as usual, Bebe also left later.


I felt lonely, I called Livie, we talked for a while, and then I thought of my dad. I dialed his number and he picked on the first ring.


Dad: Hello Wilson here, who am i speaking with I couldn’t help myself and I started crying amidst the mention of daddy.


Dad: Barbara is that you, talk to me, what’s going on I quickly hanged up and laid on my bed, sleep came unannounced.


When I woke up, I missed 11 calls, 9 from my family and 2 from Bebe. I quickly called her first and she said she’s on her way to my end so I decided to wait, While contemplating on whether to call my family back.


I knew I had to at a point. Bebe came over and we talked for a while on which counsellor to see I suggested our friend Mrs Oke, I decided to call her and book an appointment since with her, Clyde wouldn’t object. She was free that afternoon so Bebe and I drove there.


Mrs Oke: How are you my friend, you got me worried after the call. I hope everything is okay with you.


Me: Julia, that’s her first name. Everything is not okay, I then narrated to her what has been the issue for close to a year and a half now.


Mrs Oke: Barbara I knew it the moment the small talks started between you guys when we visited You guys seemed different from the Clyde and Barbara we knew, But then we thought you guys were having a bad day, So I told Bryan to let it go.


Me:How did you figure that out, were we that obvious? And why didn’t you say anything.

Julia: We are friends, and friends know each other so well. But then what do you need from me now. How do you want to go about it?


Me: I know he respects you a lot, at first I thought it was just something that will blow away soon.


But now am pretty sure it’s beyond that, and I can’t stand and watch myself go through this pain I was enduring it hoping it will be over soon.


I just need my husband back, he seems too far away, but I know he listens to you May be you can convince him for the counselling sessions, I really need to know what my offense was, why he is treating me this way.


Julia: Alright my dear, will talk to my husband and see if he can be present for the counselling session Please take it easy, we will talk him through this.


Me:Thank you, we gave each other a hug and I left with Bebe, who was just sitting staring at us throughout my meeting with Julia. She dropped me home and drove away.


To be continued

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