₦airaland Forum

MichaelBlake40:
Centino G'day,abeg hurry up we are waiting o

MichaelBlake40...where you crawl out from?

The head still block my guy. All the people wey promise me orijin and orishirishi...oya all of you, redeem una promise.

I need tonic

make una no vex abeg. truth be say, the thing no been just dey body. every writer will understand what i'm trying to say. just hearing there's a holiday tomorrow, meaning i have a free day so you can expect a midweek update

horlahmieh:
started 2day, got here 2day
wow! what a masterpiece
i've bin laffing lyk a madman since
i wil av 2 wait til next sunday...
off 2 anoda realm...

Glad you enjoy my work

Sunday will be here before you know it

Seancodedprosper:
Bros i dey feel you ooo
atlast shey pe i will comment on this story...
Have been try hard one day to comment but all in vain ..
That God ooo
bros centino a beg add more ink into ur golden pen
i dey relax abit

Nice to have you man. Welcome on board.

Cadec007:
buhahahahahahahahahahahaha, ROTFLMAO!!!!! @boldened this statement threw me off my seat!!!
when i read this part i just paled!! Laff almost broke my ribs!!! Centino u are masterclass!!!!
imagine his face here!...,.lol

Ufan. Great appreciation. Love it. Thanks.

opalk:
Oga Centino..you too much. this is absorbing,intriguing,fascinating,stimulating,gripping,riveting, compelling,arresting, entrancing,engaging,entertaining,exciting,engrossing,provocative, thought-provoking,pleasing,pleasurable,enjoyable,satisfying,readable,stirring,enthralling, spellbinding,affecting,alluring,exotic,unusual,exceptional,impressive,striking,attractive, appealing, captivating,enchanting,inviting,winning,magnetic,prepossessing,delightful,amusing,refreshing; charming,exciting,stimulating....
More ink to you pen

jeez man!

tsharp:
King Centino. What more can I say. Brilliant as always. Surely something must happen to Mama Akunna soon. What manner of oppression

My main man. You too never disappoints. Thanks bruv.

EKLE:
Reading this makes me fulfilled like I have made it in life... #centino4president

Come on man!

Thanks.

eyesofpearls:
Centino baba! You deserve some accolades!

eyesofpearls. Why do you give me goosebumps

okeyben10:
choi!!!

who has akunna offended??

baba centimo, yu three much.

Chop knuckls bro

MhizSuccess:
Wehdone Centino

Thanks MhizSuccess

Ayobami7:
I Join Nairaland becuz of this Story,#Centino4President

Welcome aboard bro. Really pleased to know. Glad you enjoy my work.

labelle123:
Akunna don suffer
@op every update on point more ink to ur pen

Amen and thanks dear.

phoenixchap:
Choi! Mama Akunna has done it again o. She has finally killed Awero, Talabi be damned. But mama Akunna cup too will soon be filled up.

Centino please make this update 2X a week na please na

I no fit promise my guy. I don try before e nor work.

Ann2012:
Centino, thanks for this update. E make sense wella

You're welcome

ALIVE

The argument had died down. They agreed that there was no point getting into fights over what was already a tragic situation. So they went on to talk about burying the dead.

“You know we cannot waste any time, especially with the children. We should see that it is done it as soon as possible so that we can have closure.”

“What of Mama Akunna? She may have to be taken to the village. We don’t bury elders just anywhere.”

“Yes, it is true, especially since she came from the village. Her people will expect the body to be brought back.”

“And Akunna has no money.”

“We all know Akunna has no money. Is that not why we are gathered here?”

“Indeed.”

“So we will have to tax ourselves for him.”

“How much are we talking about?”

“For the children, we should be able to get space at Atan cemetery for twenty thousand naira each. Then we can get coffins for about that amount too. That means like one hundred and sixty thousand. Then for Mama, transportation alone is up to one hundred thousand, and the coffin about fifty. So we are looking at a little over three hundred thousand.”

“Blood of Abel! Where are we going to get that kind of money from?”

“We will have to contribute. We can’t leave Akunna alone now.”

“What kind of temptation is this one, ehn…in this difficult Buhari era?”

“No be una vote am? Sai baba! sai baba! After impoverishing you people, he is now insulting your children and calling them lazy. Ntoooii!”

“Sharrap there! You that did not go out to vote at all, how good do you feel now? Bad leaders are voted in by good people who refuse to vote.”

“I had no vote to waste. I could see already that the two candidates were donkeys.”

“Shut up both of you! Don’t you have any sense? We have five corpses on the ground and all you can do is arguing about politics.”

As they talked, they did not notice the Keke that pulled up on the side of the road. Someone just shouted, “See Mama Akunna!” And then everyone turned at the same time. Mr Zubi was the first to reach the backyard. Josiah climbed the plastic table in front of him, it collapsed, and he scrambled to his feet and ran into the corridor. People took off in all directions as the familiar old woman hobbled into the compound.

As they ran down the street Irikefe was saying to Castro “No be wetin I dey ask you since be this? Una see Mama Akunna die?”

“Guy, she died. Paramedics confirmed it before they put her in the ambulance.”

“So what has just happened?” He breathed as they continued to run. Behind them, people were running in different directions.

Mama Akunna was wearing a diaphanous white hospital gown corpses were dressed in before they were rolled in for postmortem examination. As soon as she regained consciousness she climbed down from the slab they had put her and said “Ewo! How many days I don dey hia? Make I begin go before that yeye boy chop my market money.” She crossed over the corpses of her grandchildren without flinching and barely glanced at the stricken mortician. Everyone that saw her as she stepped out of the embalmment room simply took to their heels. Out on the street away from the morgue environment, some thought she was mad. But she was able to convince a keke driver that she was alright, and needed a ride home and would pay ₦500 on arrival. People ran because when she stepped down from the keke she looked like a walking corpse.

She saw them sprinting in different directions and ignored them. She went straight to Wasiu’s door.

“Washiu, Washiu. Oloshi boy! Wey my money?”

Wasiu in his confusion had run into his room. Why didn’t he just go down the street or run into the church nearby? Is this how he would come and die in the hands of a mad old woman ghost?

“I’m sorry Lord. God forgive me. Jesus accept my soul!”

“Washiu! Give me five hundred naira dia make I pay d keke man first. After we go settle the rest.

“Please, please don’t harm me.”

It was when he heard solid banging on the door that he collected himself.

“Mama, Na you be dat?”

“Na me na. which kain nonsense question be dat?”

“But you are dead!”

“Na ya mama die.”

“Mama they carried you and put in the ambulance. All of us see say you die!”

“Washiu, when I comot wetin I tell you? I tell you say na die I wan go die?”

“But mama!”

“Open d door jare. Give me five hundred first. If you don chop my money, den make you prepier yaself. Na you go die now now.”

“Wasiu had always trusted in the invincibility of Mama Akunna. He had seen her time and again wriggle out of difficult situations. She somehow stayed a step above every other person and he had developed a genuine admiration for her because of this. Death though was taking things too far. He saw them declare her dead! But then, Mama seemed to have done it again, and he knew she counted on him now even though she sounded like that. He was not going to forsake her. So he unlocked the door and cracked it open. The sight of her was terrible. She was pale and had in less than forty-eight hours, lost up to a quarter of her body weight. Did they put powder on her head and face? And when she opened her mouth, her breath!

“Oloshi boy!”

“Mama na you?”

“Before nko? Oya, carry five hundred go give dat keke man. I dey go baff. When I come back, I wan see all my money!”

“Okay ma.”


One by one, those that fled began to make their way back. When they saw Wasiu come out to pay the keke rider, they knew that that indeed was mama Akunna and she was alive. Irikefe and Castro were among the first to return. They beckoned Wasiu over to where they stood beside the kerosene tank at number 223.

“Wasiu. Abeg wetin dey happen?”

“Mama don come back. What did you guys expect? That someone will go and put otapiapia in Mama’s food and she will eat it and die? I always told you that you underestimate Mama.”

“Did she tell you what happened?”

“She does not need to tell me anything. It is either she did not eat the food, or the poison had no effect.”

“So why then was she found on the floor, cold and stiff?”

“Are you sure she was cold and stiff?”

That got Irikefe thinking. He looked at Castro who said, “Why are you looking at me? Like everyone else, I saw the medical people carry her away. I imagine they would have examined her.”

“I’m sure those quacks were in a hurry to go back to bed and just carried everybody into the van. If there was someone sleeping peacefully in the room they would have taken the person along without thinking twice.”

“Why didn’t they bury them at once ehn, which kind wahala be dis? That is why I like Muslim style! If you know what is good for you, just open your eyes and stay alert. If you close your eye and think they will check your pulse and give you CPR you dey waste your time. For them, you are either dead or alive. And if you are alive, just stand up begin dey dance. Any dulling, you go wake up six feet under.”

“But mama is not a Muslim.”

“Unfortunately.”


As they were talking they heard commotion in the corridor. No one ventured close. They watched from where they were and saw Talabi struggling to free himself from Mama Akunna who gripped him tight by the belt. They noticed he held on to a travel bag.

“Where you dey go?’

“Leave me o! Leave me, witch!”

“I say where you dey go?”

It was Mama Akunna alright. The strength of the voice. How did she manage to fool them all so?

“Leave me o!” Talabi repeated. Then they saw Awero coming out of the corridor, her hair dishevelled and eyes were swollen. She had on a black Tshirt and blue patterned ankara round her waist. She looked ten years older. Like one in a trance, she went and knelt before Mama Akunna. Even Mama was surprised. She released her grip on Talabi who also froze momentarily. He collected himself quickly and said ”Don’t say anything. Just don’t say anything.”

“The blood of my innocent children” Awero began. “The blood of my innocent children” she repeated. And as people began to get closer to hear what she was saying, Talabi bolted.

“Pursue am!” Catch am!” Mama Akunna cried. No one reacted. They were all rooted to where they stood as Talabi jumped the gutter and sprinted down the street.

“The blood of my innocent children” Awero was still saying.

“I killed them. We killed them. It was he who poisoned the food. Forgive me, Mama.” That said, she stood up and went back into the corridor.

Everyone waited for Mama Akunna’s reaction. They saw that she was looking in one direction and everyone looked there too. Then she said, “Who remove my table for where I put am?” Everyone exchanged bemused looks.

“Who dey find my trouble for this compound? Una follow me pay for my table? Who say make una remove am?”

Mr Zubi had managed to regain composure and spoke now. “Mama” He began. “We no understand this kind thing wey dey happen. How manage you dey here when we see dem carry you comot say you don die? And…”

“So you want make I die? Una happy say I don die?”

“Mama no be so. We happy say you no die, but we no understand wetin happen.”

“Wetin you no understand? You no hear wetin Awero talk?”

“We hear. But…”

“But wetin?”

Mr Zubi swallowed and looked around for help. No one wanted to meet his eyes.

“Okay. We hear wetin she talk, and we see as Talabi run. Him no go go far. We go go report to police. I for say make you forget this table matter first make we see how we go take solve the big problem wey dey ground now. You know say your grand pikin dem die? All of dem?”

“Who tell you say na my grand pikin dem be?”

“Na Akunna children.”

“Which Akunna children? My pikin children no fit wowo like dat.”

“Ah mama.”

“De people wey hide fvck to born dem don talk wetin dem do. Make una bring my table make I start my market. Na beg I dey beg una.”

Just then Ndifreke stepped out of the corridor with alarm in his eyes.

“What is it this time?’

“She has hanged herself” he said.

“Oh my God!”

They all herded into the corridor and some managed to squeeze into Akunna’s room. Awero's feet were still twitching from the final throes of death.

“Jesus, what is happening?”

“She should not have been left alone.”

"Who has Akunna offended?"


TO BE CONTINUED

ADECULATE:
Centino where is u na? We dey wait for update ooo

E remain small

zech, nittasha, seunadeolu, dimssy, YINKS89 (Mama no die na), INDUSTRIALFAN. I see y'all.

Thanks.

Cmyname:
Chai, one can always count on mama Akunna. No dull moment at all



Akunna don suffer. Who him offend?



Talabi & Awero, is that karma



Btw thanks for the update Centino

You're welcome Cmyname

seunadeolu:
Which kind winch be this mama Akunna . She will be back just like commando

eyesofpearls:
Ah! Centino!!! You too much! Please pretty please let’s not wait till next Sunday for the next update na mbok

Oh dear...

hemlock0:
Thanks for the update, this story na die

you're welcome

DEATH

The bodies were discovered by Akunna.

He was returning from his factory supervisor job at Agbara and was itchy for a bath.
He noticed as he entered the compound that his mother was not at her table selling her poison; instead, it was the wayward drug peddler standing over her things. He had been seeing all the hoodlums on the street gather around his mother’s table at the same time her shrivelled old men patrons went there for her to embalm them. Just why they drank that stuff he had no idea. Then to worsen matters she teams up with Wasiu to further wreak havoc on the errant lives. While she destroyed the old, Wasiu destroyed the young. For a moment, he wished that she was gone for good, wherever she went. But he knew also that she was so passionate about what she did that she never left her table even to go to the toilet. He suddenly had a foreboding of something unpleasant. He entered the corridor, fumbled with his phone, and found the flashlight function and threw his room door opened and beamed the light.

At first, it was confusion. Had he gone out to pee in the middle of the night and returned to meet everyone in their different slumber positions? Because it was only during the sleeping hours that everyone, particularly his mother would be found supine on the floor of the room. But he had just seen Wasiu at her stand. And he was still wearing his work clothes. He began to feel light headed when he trained the torch on his little girl and found foam in her mouth. He pointed at his children one after the other and then his mother. He started to go blank.

Awero walked in with her phone torch on and as soon as she saw her husband standing there confused, she knew.

“God ooooo! Katakata Street come o! Everybody come and see ooooo!”


It was then Akunna fainted.


The newspaper account the following day read thus:

“Tragedy struck at Number 225 Katakata Street in the suburb of Lagos as four children, two boys and two girls aged between 3 and 7 and a grandmother were found dead after a meal of bread and stew. The unfortunate scene was discovered by the parents of the children who returned from work to meet the bodies sprawled on the floor. Strychnine poisoning is suspected. Sources close to the family say they were a loving family that always did things together. The deceased grandmother, 70 year old Mama Akunna was everybody’s favourite on the Street. She loved children and adults alike and was particularly fond of her grandchildren whom she always went out of her way to ensure were well fed despite being poor. The Police Area Command is yet to confirm the incident but the bodies were said to have been deposited in the General Hospital morgue.”


All the residents of 225 Katakata Street came out for the meeting. Neighbours from other compounds were also in attendance. You could cut the sadness in the air with a knife. In one corner, Awero was inconsolable. She kept saying “Not my children. Not my children. My children were not supposed to die.”

If anyone read any meaning to that statement, nobody showed it. She was a grieving woman whom everyone knew was not particularly fond of her mother in law. Akunna continually drifted through different stages of consciousness. Lukman said to Ndifreke:

“The way Akunna has been fainting since yesterday, I no sure say him go know himself again.”

“Stop it, Lukman. Have some respect.”

“But how does he faint like that, check am. Since I came to this compound, every small thing Akunna will faint.”

“May you not experience anything the poor man has experienced. Or maybe you should so that we see how conscious you will be.”

“God forbid.”

“So now shut up your mouth.”


Mr Zubi took centre stage. “To say that this is a tragedy is an understatement. There are many postulations as to what may have happened but none of it makes sense.”

“What postulation? What postulation oooo!” Awero wailed and kicked out repeatedly on the floor where she sat. “Since when did Mama Akunna start feeding my children?”

“Calm down woman. We understand your pain.”

“Tell me, since when? She killed my children! Four children! My children were not supposed to die!”

“She is dead too. She could not have also eaten the poison if she knew anything about it.”

“I don’t care! I don’t care! She killed my children.”

Mr Zubi signalled to Josiah and Ndifreke and they took Awero and her husband inside. He then turned to the gathering and said “This is a criminal act. I’m sure everyone recognizes that fact.”

“Yes, it is” many chorused. Those who did not speak nodded to affirm.

“The police have started investigating.”

“Yes, we know.”

“We need to cooperate with them.”

“We will.”

“Under the state’s new coroner act, it is compulsory for autopsies to be carried out on every dead body in Lagos now.”

Everyone nodded.

“So they will take the bodies and cut them open tomorrow to look inside.”

“Please spare us the details Mr Zubi.”

“I am saying this so that everyone recognizes the terrible situation we are in. Our lives will never be the same again.”

“True.” And nods.

“So this is the thing. We live in a compound where everybody knows how much maggi is in everybody’s soup. Everybody here knows what is in each other’s cupboard or fridge, for those who have. Some even know what others will cook tomorrow.”

There were groans of approval and many nodded heads.

“We know these because we see.”

“Yes.”

“This is a face-me-I-face you. There are no secrets here.”

“True.”

“Someone here knows who poisoned Mama Akunna and her grandchildren.”

Many nodded in approval and others rejected the idea.

“How can you be so matter-of-fact in a criminal case? Don’t you know the kind of police we have? Someone only needs to repeat that in their presence and they will come and pack all of us. We are not happy with what has happened but that does not mean we should be reckless with our speech. We are mostly poor but not murderers!”

“So are you saying they poisoned themselves?”

“In abroad they will start with the immediate family to investigate.”

“So you are saying they should arrest Akunna?”

“I am saying that the police will do what they have to do and people will talk if they have to talk. It is not in anybody’s place to anticipate the course of the law.”

As the argument raged, Castro felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned and saw Irikefe.

“Omo bastard!”

“Shhhhhhhh”

“Where you come from?”

“Na true say Mama Akunna don die?”

“Just now you don hear?”

“Why I no go hear?”

“For village wey dem send you go?”

“So you believe say me, correct guy like me, aspiring Y boy go go village? Guy na wa for you o. I dey na. I dey this hood sef.”

“Oh boy. Come make we go backyard. Make dem no hear us.”

They moved away from the crowd and Irikefe again said “Guy, tell me. Mama Akunna die?”

“I swear. She die yesterday.”

“Anybody see the body?”

“They were all loaded into a local government ambulance in the presence of everyone here last night at around eleven.”

“Dem put Mama Akunna inside too?”

“Did they say she was immortal? Dem chop poison. All of dem turn to panla.”

“Including Mama Akunna?”

“Yes including Mama Akunna.”

“Guy, I no sure.”

“Well, I was here. I saw the bodies. It is sad. Akunna don crase. He just stares into space. He has been unable to cry even. His wife has been inconsolable.”

“Guy, leave that thing. Inconsolable what? Has anyone seen Talabi?”

Castro thought about it and then said, “Wait o!”

Irikefe chuckled and said “The randy goat.”

“Wait o” Castro said again.

“You are thinking what I’m thinking abi?”

“I don’t want to think anything. Didn't you also put something in her food?”

“Abeg, shut up, I take God name beg you.”

“So mind what you think.”

“But this is different. Talabi may want to kill Akunna for his wife.”

“You don come again with your theories Irikefe.”

“Who stands to gain anything from any death in that family?”

“Guy, I no know.”

“Well, that one no concern me. I just wan dey sure say that winch don die. I miss my people.”

“Did you leave because of her?”

“You no know?”

“How?”

“I go tell you when I see dem bury Mama Akunna.”


The mortician arranged the bodies on the floor and went on to mix his chemicals. He felt unease each time he glanced at the bodies, especially that of the old woman. But he shrugged and continued his work. He touched his chest to be sure his charms were still hanging around his neck. If there was an earthbound spirit amongst them, he expected a visitation at any moment. He was well fortified to deal with that so no problem there. He was running out of formaldehyde, he knew however that these ones would be buried quickly so he could dilute his chemicals some more. So he added more water than he normally would and felt satisfied with the result. He would make the Y incision by himself just in case anyone wondered if the autopsies were done. He already received his pay for that. The law was not for these low lives. Who really cared how they died? Word was that they ate rat poison. So why would they spend money on autopsies again?

He began work on the children. One by one he cracked the bones and rearranged them after they had been disfigured by rigor mortis. He then drained the blood from their hearts and pumped two gallons of his mixture into each of them. Then he turned to the old woman. As soon as he touched her hand, he felt the warmth. The hairs on the back of his neck stood when he felt his hand being squeezed. Then he choked on his saliva and passed out when the woman said “Wait, my pikin.”


TO BE CONTINUED.

jagugu88li:
Centino tell me. Which devil told you to stop calling me when you are done cooking?

jagugu88li!!! *breakdancing*

Ran into trouble with the mods here o. Couldn't see anything I did wrong other than invite my people when I was done cooking. Then viam! Delete. Ban. So I stopped. And since they've let me be. So I just post my thing knowing my own will always come look for me

eyesofpearls:


I need more! Na like this I go dey dey?!

Sorry dear. Sunday Sunday tonic

Hope you are here to stay this time

MisFit77:
This is an interesting read man, your knowledge of metaphysics, Christianity, politics, sport and everything in between is mind blowing. I admire you brain Centino, bless up!!!

Thanks man

Cmyname:
yehmy and MhizSuccess

Una never exchange number finish

From one page to another. Anyway, we are watching

My broda...

Afolorunshor:
ghost mode deactivated

centino oya update oooo!!! don't forget to mention me oo...

Welcome man!

labelle123:
Finally i don land let me register my presence.
@op you are the bomb the story make sense die.
Following bumper to bumper.

Welcome on board labelle123. Nice to have you here

tsharp:
For anyone who thought he was losing it this is ur answer.

Vintage Centino. can we end the debate now? nairaland's finest!

Thanks for this centino. you just made my day.

"crippled in the curry" lord have mercy

And mama akunna...surely she isn't waking up!

Tsharp mehn. Thanks for the kind words. Not sure about Mama Akunna o. Make we dey watch

eyesofpearls:
Extremely beautiful! Interesting read! Jeez! Still laughing out loud! Thank you centino for the comic relief in a world filled with drama!

You're welcome dear

seunadeolu:
Prof Centino pls mention me in your next update

I appreciate the comment man. But every time I have mentioned people in recent times I get banned.