₦airaland Forum

#babaforthegirls

Your Complete Guide To Making Nigerian Kpangolo Music


You can call it kpangolo music, jollof music, disposable, microwave, or timkpa music. We all know what you’re referring to. The type of songs that are released, promoted, and killed in about 6 months. If there’s a really good one the lifespan might get to 9 months, but that’s about as far it’ll last. Literally in 18 months the song will cease to exist anywhere in the whole planet. However, say what you want, there’s a market for it. If not it wont keep selling. DJs need to play music at clubs, weddings, etc. Radio has to be playing something every time, and people need music to ginger to, and not worry about the longevity and/or the sense of it. Yep! We like it like that! So in this post, we’ll be taking you through our guide to making the classic Nigerian Kpangolo Song

Step 1 – Get a very familiar beat
Step 2 – Coin A Random Word or Phrase

i spotted Rotimi Amaechi driving a Range Rover sport in maitama abuja yesterday by himself.
because i was in a staff bus, the picture i took of him wasn't that clear enough

Hello people! What's the most popular meal eaten by Nigerians on Sunday?

kudos to them

1 Corinthians 13:1–13
Embed

1 corinthians 13 vs 1-13
The Way of Love
13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have aprophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, bso as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 cIf I give away all I have, and dif I deliver up my body to be burned,1 but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 eLove is patient and fkind; love gdoes not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It idoes not insist on its own way; it jis not irritable or resentful;2 6 it kdoes not rejoice at wrongdoing, but lrejoices with the truth. 7 mLove bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, eendures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For nwe know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but owhen the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For pnow we see in a mirror dimly, but qthen face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as rI have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

UAE is set to build a tower higher than the existing record-braaking skyscraper, the Burj Khalifa, which is presently the world’s tallest building. Construction for the new tower which is to be known as The Tower at Dubai Creek, will start at the end of June this year and is hoped to be finished before Dubai hosts the World Expo in 2020. The tower is said to cost around $1 billion and will be a notch taller than Burj Khalifa which opened in January 2010 and stands at 828 meters high.

A brief conversation ensued between them. She brought out a Point of sale (PoS) machine, and the man at the wheel slotted in a MasterCard, punched in a five-digit figure. He zoomed off. What went on afterwards was nobody’s business. This sex game is obviously an old shenanigan, the mode of payment, a new twist to it. Cashless sex is apparently a better title to it.

‘Transactional’ sex has gone digital.

In the city of Lagos, the digital revolution takes firm grip on the daily life of the citizens as shoppers are abandoning cash for digital payment using their Value Cards to purchase needful things and luxurious items––including sex!

The cashless option has become popular among prostitutes and operators of brothels and strippers.

Patrons of the city’s ‘fleshpots’ can attest that payment via PoS has become the preferred payment mode in high-end brothels and strip clubs of Lagos.

“The introduction of PoS is a good one. Me, naturally don’t go out with raw cash,” an old patron, Jeff, testified of the new development.

A DAILY POST city-wide findings show how this has changed the dynamics of transactional sex at the city’s various red light districts.

The entrance of a ‘cashless’ sex house located in Ikotun, a Lagos suburb carried the bold inscription on the wall: “PoS Available,” The message is clear and boldly written. With PoS, it is ‘pay before service.’

Most of the rooms have PoS points. An extra one is at the reception for general use. Kassy, one of the resident sex workers who manages a beauty saloon and a boutique at daytime, brings her private PoS device to the brothel as well for outside business of sex trade.

The sex-for-money mercenary described the introduction of PoS as a blessing for the flesh trade.

“I have had issues with men complaining that they wanted to have fun, but no cash at hand. But since the introduction of the PoS machine, once you have your MasterCard, you are in for fun. Fun unlimited.”

Asked if it is pay-before-service, the fair-complexioned prostitute said, “For me, as an independent person, it is not always. I have trusted customers who don’t go about with raw cash. Once we are done, I will bring out the machine for him to make the payment, there’s no big deal. But for some JJC, it is pay before service to avoid stories that touch,” she said amid a seductive smile.

Across the street, another unholy mansion also operates the PoS regime. It has only one PoS terminal for the use of its inmates. According to the price list, quickie goes for N5000 while an all-night romp is priced at N15,000 but a customer would find himself punching in N5,200––including condom cost for a short time sex. Take Away (go away with the lady) ranges between 30,000 and above depending on the shape and poise of the lady.

One of the commercial sex workers, Priye, who spoke with our undercover reporter, complained that the management of the hotel often cheats them by taking what she termed ‘outrageous commission’ from her hustle. The 300 level undergraduate of Delta State University said before now, she took home no lesser than 20k per day. Now, she has to wait till the end of the week to get her pay from the management of the hotel, after rent deductions.

“It is fun but crazy at the same time,” she says. “Before now, I make about 20k per day and go away with my money, but since the introduction of the PoS here, I will have to wait till the end of the week to get my pay.”

Another shocking finding by this reporter during one of his visits to the brothel was the rentage of the device to commercial sex workers for outside usage.

The owner of the brothel hires out the device to any sex worker who is interested in using it for the weekend at the rate of 5k. A day rentage goes for just N1, 500.

DAILY POST findings reveal other outlets using the PoS payment, including a new bride, Cephas Cave, a hotel, and Golden Grooveyard strip club both located on Allen Avenue.

The investigation also revealed that rich and highly connected society cashless men now frequent some of these secluded unholy zones, for the despicable sexual acts.

The ‘house of sex’ are all similar in their modus operandi, and parade all kinds of girls, both from Nigeria and beyond, who are ready to bare it all, to the admiration and fantasy of both male and female fun seekers. At a brothel in Ikotun, the following conversation ensued between a prostitute and our reporter:

Why the shift to payment via PoS?

Because the world is gradually going cashless and we need to follow the trend so we don’t run out of business. Sometimes, many customers don’t like going about with money so the introduction of PoS machines helps a lot. I remember in 2014 when a customer came to pick me from the house around 1 am on a Sunday to Lekki. On our way, after CMS, he decided to enter one of the ATM galleries to make withdrawal. After he finished collecting the money, robbers accosted us and made away with all the money he had withdrawn including my Blackberry Porsche. I will never forget that day.

What if it fails?

It has never failed me, I don’t know about others.

Who owns the one you are using here?

It is owned by the owner of this place. Sometimes, he releases it to us for outside business provided he gets a commission.

How much commission does he get?

It depends on prior agreement you had with him. For instance, if you are going out with the PoS for weekend, he collects 5k but if it is for ‘quickie’ he takes 5 percent.

How much have you made from this business?

Wait, all these your JAMB questions sef. You wan do abi na wetin sef? You think say I come here come look your tribal marks.

She terminated the conversation on an angry note.

An encounter with another sex trader around Toyin Street, Ikeja shows that the new technology is no longer a new thing among patrons of commercial sex workers. Most sex hawkers on parade on Allen Avenue at nights are armed with PoS device. As soon as you drive through the Lagos ‘Vanity Fair’, you could hear sex traders whispering: PoS! PoS! Go-go girls ready for cashless sex on the go.

At a strip club in Allen Avenue, some of the strippers parade the place with PoS terminals in case patron runs out of cash.

According to our finding, on the high end-street of Allen, one session of ‘cashless quickie’ goes a minimum of 30k. Customers using the PoS pay extra tariffs than those offering raw cash.

Inquisitiveness on the part of this writer led to a conversation with one of the strippers who simply gave her name as A3. Diminutive, dark-skinned and pretty A3 said the PoS device has been a boost to their business since it was introduced.

“As long as you have your MasterCard and there is money in your account, no more wahala. If you no get raw cash now and you need Mouth Gig or serious lap dance, just slot in your card now let the fun begin and stop sitting down like a Bishop,” the unclad girl said while trying to seduce the writer for a dance. “I am okay, don’t feel like dancing,” this reporter replied before moving off the place.

In separate chats with our reporter, most patrons applauded the new ‘invention’.

“This looks more like it.” Lekan, a patron said of the introduction of PoS into the illicit business. “I have used it severally and I think is the best option. My conscience pricks me each time I give out raw cash to them,” added.

A few other persons, however, faulted the extra charges on the use of the device.

“The introduction of PoS is a good one but the extra charges is discouraging sort of. Me naturally don’t like going out with raw cash. So I sometime resort to the use of the device for a good time,” an old patron, Jeff, hailed the new development.

sai baba

fuel palava

trying not to fart while with your bae

cartoon of the day

Lagos – ntel, Nigeria’s most advanced 4G Long Term Evolution(LTE) Network on Friday announced the commencement of its phased and commercial operations. Mr Kumar Abass, the Chief Executive Officer of ntel, made the announcement during a news briefing held in Lagos. According to Abass, the operation will come with bumper offers for early bird pioneers and data users. He said the earliest customers would be able to buy and use their services in clusters across Lagos and Abuja from sales outlets, and agents featuring their bright new brand name: ntel. “ntel, Nigeria’s 5th mobile network operator start of operation is the culmination of its journey from acquiring the old Nitel/Mtel assets. “The first 100,000 to redeem and activate their ntel SIMs will get free on-net calls for life, while data subscribers will get 3-months unlimited data usage.” He said that ntel had established the Pioneers Club to reward early bird joiners to its network and those who had reserved their numbers, and who subsequently activated its SIM this month. The ntel chief executive said the company’s 4G/LTE-Advanced technology built on the 900/1800 MHz spectrum would deliver unbeatable and game changing customer experience of high-speed internet access up to 230Mbps. He said that the access was the fastest available in Nigeria and it would enable a world of full mobile broadband experience that would transform both lives and livelihood. He said that the 800 sites bought from Mtel and NITEL would serve for coverage area but that there was also room for collocation. Abass said that mobile coverage would grow steadily and strongly over the next four to six weeks across Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt. “We are passionate at ntel about the power of broadband to boost productivity, and thereby transform lives. “We expect to see this happen as ntel helps to accelerate the ongoing migration from existing 2G and 3G services to genuinely high-speed mobile broadband on 4G/LTE-advanced.’’ Abass said that ntel was offering an exciting range of price bundles with high quality mobile experience to improve productivity and it came in three forms; Smartphone Starter, Smartphone Standard and Smartphone High. He urged subscribers to buy a 4G LTE device from ntel so as to enjoy the many features that the network would offer. He listed the features as; high speed broadband, high definition crystal clear voice, high quality video without buffering, a chance to be one of the pioneers’ club member and device financing. The ntel boss also listed their business partners as; agent entrepreneurs, device retail outlets, high-touch and service points, online retail, ntel stores and experience centres and also virtual top-up channels. He said that they had a point of sale device known as ”Kuchio” that would perform the full range of sales and support activities. “The introduction of Kuchio will push telephoning deeper into the rural area. “ntel’s business capabilities are focused on addressing the emerging data ongoing migration from 2G to 3G and 4G. In 4G world, congestion is better managed,” he said. Abass also listed some mobile phones which support the 4G as Tecno C5, Samsung S6 Edge, Konka L5 70S(R1)(R2)(E1), Phantom 5, Infinix Zero 3, Infinix Note 2 among others.

Read more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/04/ntel-commences-operations-lagos-abuja/

According to Twitter user, Dan-Borno, the lady above is a member of the state's vigilante group that assists soldiers in the fight against Boko Haram members. Quite commendable!

13. THIS HORSE PHOTOBOMBING SOMEONE’S WEDDING PICTURE
14. A FIREFIGHTER GIVING A KITTEN OXYGEN
15. A DOG AT A BAR
16. A TINY PYGMY HIPPO EATING LETTUCE

9. THIS CAT WEARING A SWEATER
10. A PIG WEARING GREEN BOOTS
11. A PIG WEARING PINK BOOTS
12. A DOG TRYING TO GET A HIGH FIVE FROM A CAT

5. A WALRUS WITH A FRUITCAKE
6. THIS BABY OWL
7. A PUG WEARING PUG SLIPPERS
8. A POLAR BEAR WITH A CONE STUCK ON ITS HEAD

1. THIS FAT CAT
2. A BABY PENGUIN MEETING A BABY DOLPHIN
3. SHAQ HOLDING A PANDA
4. AN EMBARRASSED WALRUS

so help meGod

idonblivit

bleeching went wroung

fear of FA

fear of FA

nice 1

nice 1

ybnl all d way

lol