@ dominobaby - Ohhh. I see what you mean. Well, I think I know the answer to that, as I've heard some black American men talk about it, and it's not good. The black American men who get with women who are not black American mostly go for Asian women first, white women second, then African women. This is in order of which group of women they think they can exercise more control over the easiest.

For those men who don't want/like Asian or white women, they'll go for an African woman. In their minds, she's still easier to control than a black American woman. Control is defined as they can be as irresponsible as they want without much hassle from 'their' woman.

@ Kajad - The reason I didn't really attribute my qualities to attracting African men is because I don't see myself as being unique. There are MANY black American women like me. Granted, I don't know if they're open minded enough to date an African man (the things we're told about African men are scary), and the black American women I personally know probably would not be. I've always been the most fearless one among female my friends and relatives.

@ Ono - Just come home, huh? Easier said than done. I would actually LOVE to pursue a Master's degree at a good African university. Maybe even a PhD if it'd be accepted with no problem back here in the U.S. But, I only speak English (although I learn really fast) and I don't understand the admission requirements for some of the universities I've looked at due to the differences in educational systems. I have not been able to find any equivalency charts with which to compare my U.S. degree, grades and GRE test scores for entrance.

Then there's the money. My eyes bug out when I go to the XE website to do the currency conversions for tuition and see how inexpensive it is in American dollars. BUT, the only African countries where U.S. educational financial aid (in the form of gov't loans) can be used is at 2 universities in S. Africa and the American U. at Cairo. Three schools on the whole continent! Ugh! So, even if I was able to get admitted, money would be a problem, because I can't afford to pay out of pocket.

But, I do plan to visit one day.

@ Ono - Where did I say I was surprised or bothered? I'm just curious. I also don't want to make people think I don't get ANY attention at all from black American men. I do. But, many of them want flings, and I'm not the fling type -- and I think a lot of them can tell by my demeanor. So, they don't waste their time.

The "African" in me, etc? That's new. LOL.

@ dominobaby - I'm not bothered. And, I am not understanding last part of what you wrote. Will you clarify, please?

@ Zahymaka - I see your point, and thanks for responding. But, I think something else is mainly in play.

@ mamaput - What kind of paper are you talking about? In the U.S. the word paper is a slang term for money, so I'm not 100% sure what you're referencing, and I don't want to assume. Are you talking about money or immigration papers? If you're talking about immigration, that's not a factor for me. I don't date men who haven't been a legal resident long enough to apply for citizenship on their own, or who are not already citizens.

[QUOTE]Have you ever asked them?[/QUOTE]

I answered that question in the beginning of my post, when I said I hadn't had anybody to ask.

[QUOTE]Well, deep down most black Americans I've come to meet feel inferior to whites[/QUOTE]

Um, that's not what I asked.

[QUOTE]so the only way to be among is to pick a girl from the white side.[/QUOTE]

Say what? I'm not following you here. I don't think you completed your thought.

[QUOTE]Most Africans however, feel that the whites are good for a lay but don't consider anything serious with them worthwhile -- the general feeling is that white women are morally decadent.[/QUOTE]

Err, what does this have to do with what I asked?

Please don't take offense to an American posting here. I am not trying to start any controversy or mess. I have had a question I have wanted to know the answer to - or at least get some insight for - for years, but had nobody to ask. This is not a prank/spam posting. Okay, here goes:

A little background info on me: I am a 35 year old black American female from the deep South. I was raised in a strict Christian environment and am conservative in the way I dress and behave. I speak correct English (I speak "Ebonics" with family and friends as the situation calls for), I don't have any children, and I'm somewhat educated (bachelor's degree, some grad school). I am not promiscuous or loud, and I am careful about who I let in my life.

Black American men don't pay me that much attention. But, for some reason I don't understand, I get a LOT of attention from African men - MUCH more than I get from black American men. Mostly, it's been Nigerians (Igbo and Yoruba), but I've been approached/pursued by other West African men and even a black Libyan (as he self-identified).

In my late teens and early 20s, I dated a couple of the men who approached and pursued me, but ended up breaking off the relationships, because they always wanted to move TOO fast, and that scared me a lot. And to be honest, I also didn't know a dang thing about being a wife at that age, and I wasn't ready, as I'd finally gotten out of my miserable little backwards and racist Southern hometown and wanted to see what else existed in the world.

Anyway, the question I've always had, but never got to ask until now is (if it even HAS an answer):

Why do I attract so many African men? Especially Nigerian? Don't get me wrong; I do not think this is a bad thing; not at all.

But, I'm wondering what it is about me that makes black American men keep going, but makes African men stop. With the exception of the almost 7 years I was married (to a man from Guinea, ironically; hey, a girl's gotta get in where she fits in and I'm not going to turn down a good man of another culture just to wait for black American men to see my worth), I have been pursued by African men. Now that I'm single again, same thing. I don't even know what to think.

Can anybody give me some insight on this? A hint? A clue?

Thanks in advance.