₦airaland Forum

;Dnice one

achi4u: @op___ weather you like it or not marriage for matured mind and is for better and for worst.
Taking too much carefull and over self conciousness will even lead you to a wrong spouse.

My take!!!
Close one eyes and get urself a WIFE

close one eyes kee

In terms of motivations for marriage, thus far I’ve been focusing mostly on delusional thinking processes caused by fantasies we create during the cocaine-rush phase of relationships. For example, within the context of a short courtship, two delusional reasons for getting married are “because it feels like I’ve known you forever, even though we just met” and “because our love story would make a great movie.”


There are a number of other equally bad reasons to take the plunge. These generally fall into three categories—anxiety, inadequacy, and self-centered pragmatics.

If you are contemplating marriage or are “on the hunt” for a spouse, I’d advise you to get honest with yourself and plumb the depths of your motivations. Do your motivations stem from any of the following thoughts?

I want to get married…

• because all of my friends are doing it.

• because I don’t know if I’ll get another chance if I take a pass on this one.

• because I want to feel secure.

• because I don’t want to deal with the dating world anymore.

These motivations are fear based. Anxiety is driving the bus when we fear that we will be left behind, when we accept the premise that a full and interesting life without a spouse is less successful than a partnered life, or when we believe that marriage will give us a sense of security that we cannot experience without a partner.

In a way, the person who marries for these reasons is looking to his or her partner to function as a different type of drug—not cocaine, but some type of sedative in this case. The supposed stability and security of the marital bond is sought as an antidote to the tumultuousness of “life on the outside.” When one looks to one’s partner to be any type of drug instead of a living, breathing human being with an agenda of his or her own, the result is often a short-lived bond.

A second category of unwise motivation is marrying because of feelings of inadequacy, typified by any of the following thoughts:

I want to get married…

• because the person I’m dating loves me and that makes me feel special and lovable.

• because marriage will show everyone that I’m an adult.

• because marriage will demonstrate that someone wants me.

• because this will bring my life into better focus.

• because I’m lonely.

If your motivations fall within this category, please consider some of the future blog posts I’ll submit about self-esteem and marital success (upcoming in the next couple months). I’ll need some space to address this issue in a meaningful way.

Finally, a third category of misguided motivation is shallow pragmatics, which boils down to thoughts such as these:

I want to get married…

• because we’ve dated awhile and this is the next logical step to take.

• because I want to register for nice things and create a Pottery Barn nest for myself.

• because I will not get stationed with this hottie I’m dating unless I marry him/her (for those in the military).

As someone who hears the stories that people don’t tell in polite society, I continue to be surprised at the frequency of motivations like these. Ultimately, motivations in any of these categories are likely to result in what author Pamela Paul has referred to as a “starter marriage.”

Wat should I say? Who's †Φ blame badlock right?

Wat should I say? Who's †Φ blame badlock rghite?

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STUPIDITY is when you don’t have a bicycle and you give your last penny to your pastor to buy a jet.......

MUMU is when commoners can’t pay children’s school fees and yet have money to contribute to your church to build expensive school which average families children will never attend..
...
IGNORANCE is when you believe it when your pastors tells you not to live worldly life, and yet he enjoys the best things in the world, the fine houses, cars, jets, babes etc, while you are waiting till you get to heaven to enjoy your own....

IDIOCY is when you refuse to take your very sick child to the hospital because your pastor said you should not do so, yet that same pastor secretly runs to USA for medical attention any time he has an headache...

KOLO is when you see a poor beggar on the road and you refuse to give him 50 naira out of the 5000 naira in your pocket because it is your tithe money....

YOU are a zombie when you trek, dance and gallivant for 30 kilometers under the hot sun sweating and smelling like shit during your revival program, while your pastor is inside a full option, factory fitted air-conditioned­ state of the art SUV with his delectable wife slow driving along the road.

STOP worshiping your pastors!!...Wor­ship GOD in spirit and in truth!!

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MI o le waku

joker

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"A boy is the head of the family?" I got serious responses by business guys last week as this topic is not very good to their business. Never mind...people will always do big weddings. My interest is to encourage young people to do very small wedding.

It is surprising young people wait long on courtship before marrying because of how rich they projected one day wedding to look like. It is foolish. The complicating part is when parents and friends join hands to "help"; parents try to make your wedding look like their own second wedding while committee of friends are planing styles to put on facebook&blackberry and don't forget those that come to eat free food.

If your parent and friends marry for you, you're in a big hot soup especially if the parent of the lady did. I can't put it into words what you will face when you're inside this "marriage". Where people put their money that is where their heart is. How can one manage and enjoy marriage(family) when everyone everywhere is a major investor in what you are suppose to be the major investor?

The most funny part is when people spent heavily on drinks, food, cake, hall, cloth, etc but their wedding rings are not even pure gold and their bed is small (maybe the same bed the young boy is using when he was single). Without pictures or videos, you can't remember easily how your wedding day was like so why worry so much?

"A boy is not the head of the family, it's the man"

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