₦airaland Forum

appini:
APC working against Nigeria's interest because of elections.

i know they have a hand in it. There is nothing they will not do in their desperation to get into power.

I don't know why apc is breaking their head over this issue. To me, the morrocan king is the liar here. Religious bigot is what he is.

Destroy them all. No stone should be left unturned. I hope apc will not be sad as a result of this victory over boko haram?

Dubby6:
na wa oo

you see something?

nifeseun:
Lovely, wish some ladies can read this, so happy i came here and read it, thanks madam for sharing ur story, rily helped a lot..

in what way did it help you?

GeneralBosco:
Clevvermind, I sight you, please answer these salient questions

what do you intend to achieve with it?

“Believing that true love waits, I make a
commitment to God, myself, my family,
my friends, my future mate and my
future children to be sexually abstinent
from this day until the day I enter a
biblical marriage relationship. As well
as abstaining from sexual thoughts,
sexual touching, pornography, and
actions that are known to lead to sexual
arousal.”
At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my
church alongside a group of other girls
to remain a virgin until marriage. Yes,
you read that right — I was 10 years
old.
Let’s take a look at who I was as a 10-
year-old: I was in fourth grade. I played
with Barbie dolls and had tea parties
with imaginary friends. I pretended I
was a mermaid every time I took a
bath. I still thought boys were icky and I
had no idea I liked girls, too. I wouldn’t
get my period for another four years.
And most importantly, I didn’t have a
clue about sex.
The church taught me that sex was for
married people. Extramarital sex was
sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell
if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had
a responsibility to my future husband to
remain pure for him. It was entirely
possible that my future husband
wouldn’t remain pure for me, because
he didn’t have that same responsibility,
according to the Bible. And of course,
because I was a Christian, I would
forgive him for his past transgressions
and fully give myself to him, body and
soul.
Once I got married, it would be my duty
to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. I
was told over and over again, so many
times I lost count, that if I remained
pure, my marriage would be blessed by
God and if I didn’t that it would fall
apart and end in tragic divorce. I believed it. Why wouldn’t I? I was
young and these were people I trusted.
Everyone knew I’d taken the virginity
vow, of course. Gossip is the lifeblood of
my church. My parents were so
proud of me for making such a spiritual
decision. The church congregation
applauded my righteousness.
For more than a decade, I wore my
virginity like a badge of honor. My
church encouraged me to do so, saying
my testimony would inspire other young
girls to follow suit. If the topic ever
came up in conversation, I was happy to
let people know that I had taken a
pledge of purity.
It became my entire identity by the time
I hit my teen years. When I met my
then boyfriend-now husband, I told him
right away that I was saving myself for
marriage and he was fine with that
because it was my body, my choice and
he loved me.
We were together for six years before
we got married. Any time we did
anything remotely sexual, guilt
overwhelmed me. I wondered where the
line was because I was terrified to cross
it. Was he allowed to touch my breasts?
Could we look at each other naked? I
didn’t know what was considered sexual
enough to condemn my future marriage
and send me straight to Hell.
An unhealthy mixture of pride, fear,
and guilt helped me keep my pledge
until we got married. In the weeks
before our wedding, I often got
congratulated on keeping my virginity
for so long. The comments ranged from
curious (how in the world did you
manage?) to downright disgusting (I bet
you’re going to have one busy wedding
night!). I let them place me on the
pedestal as their virginal, perfect-
Christian-girl mascot.
I lost my virginity on my wedding night,
with my husband, just as I had
promised that day when I was 10 years
old. I stood in the hotel bathroom
beforehand, wearing my white lingerie,
thinking, “I made it. I’m a good
Christian.” There was no chorus of
angels, no shining light from Heaven. It
was just me and my husband in a dark
room, fumbling with a condom and a
bottle of lube for the first time. Sex hurt. I knew it would. Everyone told
me it would be uncomfortable the first
time. What they didn’t tell me is that I
would be back in the bathroom
afterward, crying quietly for reasons I
didn’t yet comprehend. They didn’t tell
me that I’d be on my honeymoon,
crying again, because sex felt dirty and
wrong and sinful even though I was
married and it was supposed to be okay
now.
When we got home, I couldn’t look
anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my
virginity was gone. My parents, my
church, my friends, my co-workers.
They all knew I was soiled and It didn’t get better. I avoided undressing
in front of my husband. I tried not to
kiss him too often or too amorously so I
wouldn’t lead him on. I dreaded
bedtime. Maybe he’d want to have sex.
When he did, I obliged. I wanted
nothing more than to make him happy
because I loved him so much and
because I’d been taught it was my duty
to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex.
Sometimes I cried myself to sleep
because I wanted to like it, because it
wasn’t fair. I had done everything right.
I took the pledge and stayed true to it.
Where was the blessed marriage I was
promised?
I let it go on this way for almost two
years before I broke down. I just
couldn’t do it anymore. I told my
husband everything. My feminist
husband was horrified that I’d let him
touch me when I didn’t want him to. He
made me promise I’d never do anything
I didn’t want to do ever again. We
stopped having sex. He encouraged me
to see a therapist and I did. It was the
first step on a long journey to healing.
Ten-year-old girls want to believe in
fairy tales. Take this pledge and God
will love you so much and be so proud
of you, they told me. If you wait to have
sex until marriage, God will bring you a
wonderful Christian husband and you’ll
get married and live happily ever after,
they said. Waiting didn’t give me a
happily ever after. Instead, it controlled
my identity for over a decade, landed
me in therapy, and left me a stranger in
my own skin. I was so completely
ashamed of my body and my sexuality
that it made having sex a demoralizing
experience.
I don’t go to church anymore, nor am I
religious. As I started to heal, I realized
that I couldn’t figure out how to be both
religious and sexual at the same time. I
chose sex. Every single day is a battle to
remember that my body belongs to me
and not to the church of my childhood. I
have to constantly remind myself that a
pledge I took when I was only 10 doesn’t
define who I am today. When I have sex
with my husband, I make sure it’s
because I have a sexual need and not
because I feel I’m required to fulfill his
desires.
I’m now thoroughly convinced that the
entire concept of virginity is used to
control female sexuality. If I could go
back, I would not wait. I would have sex
with my then-boyfriend-now-husband
and I wouldn’t go to hell for it. We
would have gotten married at a more
appropriate age and I would have kept
my sexuality to myself.
Unfortunately, I can’t go back but I can
give you this message as a culmination
of my experiences: If you want to wait
to have sex until marriage make sure
it’s because you want to. It’s your body;
it belongs to you, not your church. Your
sexuality is nobody’s business but
yours.
tarnished. I wasn’t special anymore. My
virginity had become such an essential
part of my personality that I didn’t
know who I was without it.



what do you have to say about this woman's story?

Apc is a mumu party. WASTING THEIR TIME.

See the kind of leaders we have. Fooling themselves.

let them bring it. let's see what they got.

dein77:
That's good. We saw all these injustices in the system occasioned by the lazy quota system.

It's just a matter of time.

it would change. they should continue the peaceful protest.

dein77:
2005. What of you?

2008.

dein77:
Nice meeting you here. I graduated there too.

I saw all these unjust things back then. Protest is on point as far as it's nonviolent.

exactly. nice meeting you too. when did you graduate?

Jesusloveyou:
keep quiet,u want to remain in dis present evil corrupt govt,that kill innocent soul more than d past regime,u must be a fool to support dis present evil corrupt gay president.buhari wil take us back to d good old days,where corrupt pple wil be afraid to steal.dis present day evil must stop in jesus name.

typical of apc supporters. let me tell you again that buhari can never become president. is buhari himself not corrupt? a man that lied under oath and forged a certificate? take Jonathan to court if you have any proof that he is corrupt. ok.

it's ok in my area.

deskossy:
how will it stop when all d big bosses in nnpc are hausas. It is never gonna change

that was why i supported this protest. we need to register our displeasure instead of keeping quiet and watching it continue.

deskossy:
federal character my foot!this can never happened in federal university in d north,where non indegenes are more employed

it can never happen. you won die?

supported!!!

deskossy:
my brother the thing tire me oo...even during admission into d institute hausas which score low gets the admission. .it is that bad

you are right. i was once a student of that school. i know all this things. it is time for this nonsense to stop.

say no to violence. it won't take us anywhere.

it is really senseless. i'm in support of the protest. enough is enough. time to act. we must fight this nonsense.

keep quiet. Nigerians can't be deceived by you. we are voting for Jonathan. don't take us back to your evil days as head of state. we are already marching forward as a nation. we are wise now.

[quote author=tola9ja post=31536123][/quote]you can hang yourself now ok.

[quote author=tola9ja post=31536123][/quote]he is daft. stop this nonsense. mourinho is a daft coach. parking the bus.

if you think mourinho is daft, click share.

Chelsea go fit make am so?

nigerdeltaa:
so you are saying the Ukrainians, Slovakians, Slovenians that broke away from the former Soviet union are tribalists?

their reason might be different, but in Nigeria, we all know that tribalism hold sway and it is the major cause of all this.