₦airaland Forum

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

My sister died five years ago and left behind her husband. They couldn’t have a child as a result of certain complications with her fallopian tube.

Even though her husband was faithful to her and did everything to assure my sister of his love, she died from high blood pressure as a result of her constant worries that her husband might leave her for another woman. She became so paranoid that she fought any woman, including us, her sisters if we came close to her husband.

She left her job to give her the freedom to monitor her husband. In fairness to the husband, not once did he try to resist or protest her constant harassment of his freedom. He took everything in his stride. Not even when his family tried to pair him up with another woman did he abandon my sister. He kept telling everybody that he would never leave her and that in due course, a miracle would happen.

He kept begging my parents to plead with my sister not to kill herself for nothing –that her blood pressure was becoming alarmingly high. When her condition became worse, he traveled with her abroad for treatment. There they also explored ways they can have a child together. They found a way around the issue and it was this pregnancy that actually terminated her life.

Her blood pressure kept going up and she resisted attempts by the doctors to terminate the pregnancy to save her life.

She actually left England without the permission of her doctors and husband for Nigeria to ensure her husband didn’t leave her in England because of another woman. It was when she got to Nigeria that she called her husband from the airport to come and pick her. She died three days after she came back because of her blood pressure. Her pregnancy was only five months.

Since then, the husband has remained single. Despite pressures from all of us that he continues with his life, he refused. He still came to our house and continued with all his former obligations to us despite protests from my mother that he shouldn’t, he ignored her. Every month, he would send feeding allowances as well as drugs for my father. He also never failed to pay our house rents and other bills.

He called everyday to know how we were and would come to see things for himself to ensure we didn’t lack anything.

After trying to stop him from doing all these things, my mother gave up and even tried on several occasions to get him hooked up with nice ladies she knew.

Around August last year, he came to my place of work to pick me up for lunch. We really had a great time. He kept doing this and honestly, I didn’t know when my feelings for him changed to love. It hit me like a bolt of lightening that I no longer regarded him as my elder brother but as a man.

When he also communicated his love for me, I was happy and we started a secret relationship. He wanted us to inform our parents right away but I kept pleading with him to give me more time because secretly I fear our parents may not support the idea.

Without telling me anything, he went ahead to inform his parents two weeks ago and my parents last week. Surprisingly none of them is against the relationship. But how do I explain to the world that I’m in love with my late sister’s husband and I am actually planning to marry him? To me, it is all wrong. People may think I killed my own sister to enable me marry him. You know how people talk.

Agatha, I love him so very much but is it alright to marry him? Please help me as I am very confused. The two families have agreed on a date for the traditional wedding since neither of us is growing younger. I would be 30 in September while he is already 41.



Laife





Dear Laife,



The truth is, if you don’t marry him, someone else would and you will be the one left to ponder on your loss, pains and dreams you have built around him since you two started dating.

No matter what one does in life, people would always talk. If a person is too nice and generous, some mischievous people would label such person, a fool while a person who is not too nice is often branded; a devil. There is no pleasing everybody in the choices we daily make in our lives, so why even attempt it? The important thing is your conviction that you are not hurting anybody by marrying this man. Any objective person would know you have nothing to do with the death of your sister. If you had, it won’t be five years after that you and her late husband would be talking about marriage.

Besides, a clear conscience fears no accusation. As long as you did not do anything to compromise your sister’s marriage while she was alive or even contemplated ever dating her husband while she was still on this side of life, do not be bothered about the opinion of others. Let anybody who wants to talk do so, but do not give up your own happiness for anything or anybody. Life is too short to short change yourself in the area of your happiness and peace in life. If people have no scruples desecrating the memories of the dead, how much more you that is alive? In addition, if people would talk at all, it would not last for more than a week at most when someone else would take your place on the chart of those to be gossiped about.

Also, a lot of people may have even forgotten who this man is. Unless your close family and friends, five years is a long time for those who are not too close to your family to even remember your sister, not to talk of the man who married her.

If those whose business is to object, are all for you two marrying each other, why are you concerned about what others would say? Nobody gives happiness to another person. You are the only person who can define your happiness in life and if this man makes your heart skip beats, give the world a new meaning for you and answers those nagging thoughts about men and marriage which you have even refused to dwell on for fear of what you would find, then do not waste any precious moment dwelling on what is not the business of anybody.

At this point, your major concern should be what you intend to do with the marriage and not what people think of you. This is because, at the end of the day, it is what would matter the most.

He must have seen something extra exceptional about you to make him want to stick around your family so do not waste it by being anxious over nothing.

Having witnessed first-hand what transpired between him and your sister, try as much as possible to avoid making the same mistakes your sister did so as to give this man the kind of happiness he deserves in life and marriage. Learn to trust him implicitly. Do not forget that he may have been able to cope with your late sister’s massive mistrust of him, he may not be able to do so anymore; not because he does not want to but age makes the body unable to accept what it could when younger. At 40, this man needs a lot of peace in his life and happiness at home.

Be his friend first before becoming his wife; this way, no matter what you meet in your marriage, you will always have the presence of mind to cope and support him.

No matter what, always give him the respect due him; do not forget it is part of the package he saw in you. Being lovers does not mean a woman must begin to disrespect her man; as a matter of fact, it is the more reason for her to appreciate and respect him the more.

The bottom line is that you have every right to be happy. You have all mourned your sister enough; it is time to move on because there is nothing you can do anymore for the one who is dead. Cruel as this is, the truth remains, indelible.



Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/is-it-proper-to-marry-him/

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has been accused of a very deliberate snub against Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho at a recent coaches conference.

The pair were in attendance for a meeting of Europe’s top managers at Uefa headquarters last week, and it seems there is still plenty of bad blood between them.

Wenger and Mourinho have clashed on a number of occasions, with Arsenal and Chelsea enjoying a bitter rivalry in the Premier League in recent years.

Wenger told Mourinho he can't sit next to him at coaches conference

Having clashed both on the touch line and in the press in the past, Wenger now made little effort to alter his behaviour during this convention in Nyon.

According to Marca, Mourinho tried to take a seat next to the the Gunners boss, before being told to move on by the Frenchman.

‘Wenger has a real problem with us and I think he is what you call in England a Viewer. He is someone who likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. Wenger must be one of them – it is a sickness. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.’

‘Wenger complaining is normal because he always does. Normally he should be happy that Chelsea sold a player like Juan Mata, but this is a little bit his nature. I think what is not fair is that his team always has the best days to play.’

‘He is a specialist in failure. I’m not … eight years without a piece of silverware, that’s failure.’

Wenger on Mourinho:

‘He’s out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful. When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent.’

‘I know we live in a world where we have only winners and losers, but once a sport encourages teams who refuse to take the initiative, the sport is in danger.’

It is not entirely clear if the Portuguese asked if the seat was free or merely tried to take it anyway, but it prompted Wenger to say: ‘No, it is not possible,’ before an awkward silence and some laughter.

It was clearly a bad day out for Mourinho, with video footage previously showing Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane at the meeting also snubbed him.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/wenger-told-mourinho-cant-sit-next-coaches-conference/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

My husband is having an affair. How do I stop him?



Worried Wife.



Dear Worried Wife,

It isn’t every time a man goes outside his home for an affair that he is to blame. In some cases, the wife at home unwittingly aids another woman to get the attention of her husband.

Admittedly some men are chronic womanisers, but a lot of these aches can be minimised by the amount of efforts the wife puts into making her home comfortable for the man.

First you must work on your person and home before attempting to tackle the issue of the other woman in your husband’s life.

Although you didn’t say for how long you have been married, but a lot of women make the mistake of forgetting that men are not restricted by marriage from looking outside their homes as women are.

This is why every married woman must from time to time make effort to ensure that her husband’s reason for marrying her remains fresh. The moment a woman allows herself to be distracted from her reason for being a wife to her husband, she leaves her flanks open for invasion by another woman.

Therefore, before you battle your husband; how would you grade yourself as a woman in his life? Do you still excite him as you did before you tied the knots? Are you still sensual, taking special care of yourself in terms of your clothes and personal appearance? Do you still make his heart beat by your choice of clothes, hairdo as well as all those extra bits that make you a woman? Can he still show you off with pride and the arrogance of a man who knows he has one of the most special women by his side? Can you still remember what you looked like when you were still dating? Can you recognise that woman in your current form?

Were you to assess yourself through the eyes of your husband and give an honest answer, how would you rate yourself? Honestly, once you are determined to be truthful to yourself, you will begin to understand some of the things that are wrong with your marriage and importantly, his reasons for drifting. Although not an excuse but often than not, when the mind is desirous of something, it needs just a little bit of help from a potential source to make it happen.

The joy of every man is to have a woman he can put on display at all times. Even though many men make the show of not wanting their wives to dress in a particular way, the irony of life is, that same dress they don’t want on their wives, is the same one they appreciate on other women.



Take time out to think of those things he particularly liked about you, complimented you for when he was still trying to engage your interest in him. Make the attempt to recover those things. It will help re-engineer his interest in you, bring him back to you without fighting the other woman or him for that matter.

Your performance as his woman maybe just right but as a wife, how would you score yourself? How well do you understand the needs of the man you call your husband? This is often the reason some men give for going into other relationships. When a man doesn’t get the kind of attention from his wife, feels displaced by children or made to feel like an intruder in the life of his wife, he goes in search for the woman who would shower all her attention on him. Unfortunately, the woman outside knows this, hence puts in the time the woman at home cannot deposit in her marriage. She also invests the extra energy as well as innovations into everything she does for her man-friend to make her the better choice for him.

When a married woman finds herself in the kind of position you have found yourself, her best weapon to win her man over is to behave like the mistress. Fighting won’t stop both man and woman from continuing with their affair. As a matter of fact, it has the potential of complicating things for her. Instead, she should create time and purpose for her home. Like the mistress, she should use her money and time effectively. This is precisely what you should do to get your man back.

There is the need for you to do a little bit of investigation on your rival. Get people to give you information about her; this way you will know how to marshal your plans. Having information will give you an idea into her person. This way, you will be better guided in how you can neutralise her powers over your husband, not by fighting her but knowing where to channel your energy in the quest to getting your husband back.

From experience, there is always something to learn from the other woman. It could just be a simple matter of her temperament or attitude. Definitely, there is something the other woman always has, which the woman at home lacks. This is what a wise woman looks for instead of picking a needless fight with her husband’s mistress.

Allow that woman to be your mirror of reform. You need her to win your husband over. There is always a blessing behind every disappointment. I know you are in pains of betrayal by your husband but only a well thought out wisdom filled package can replace that pain with joy.

If you are the kind that nags, is not too particular about his food or home, has little time to discuss or listen to him, it is important that you change. Befriend him all over again, ask him question about his work, interest and health. Generate discussion about anything you know interests him; if possible key yourself into that hobby he cannot do without; just to make yourself relevant to him all over again.

You have to get through to him first before trying to change him or stop him from doing what he is currently engaged in. It is more of a battle for his conscience.

By making yourself appear completely at his beck and call, you increasingly make it difficult for the other woman to have anything to hold on to. If you have children, let them go and stay with a friend or relative for the weekend if you cannot afford to take your husband out. Ensure such a weekend is filled with ideas of how to re-invent your marriage. Woo him with your body, mind and soul. Bear in mind that your mission is to recover your marriage hence every hurt and pains you feel knowing out there is another woman in his life should be crushed. As long as you are determined that no woman is worth you giving up your husband and home for, you will at the end of the day smile.

It is only after you have done all these, won him over that you can bring up the issue of the other woman. By the time you are discussing her with him, she would have long become history in his life so the tension often associated with confronting an unfaithful husband wouldn’t be there. You will both be discussing the issue as friends, who are determined to cherish what they have found irrespective of what life throws at them.

In addition, make all the efforts to become his best friend. The good thing about being friends with your spouse is the open door of communication it offers to you as the wife. When a woman is her husband’s best friend, she enjoys a special place her position as a wife doesn’t offer her in her husband’s life. As a friend, the husband will tell her things he would never dare share with his wife. It takes both the grace of God and a deliberate effort on the part of the woman to be her husband’s best friend. No matter what this man does to you, refuse to be irritated instead, ask for the grace of God to defeat the problem.

Once your husband begins to notice changes in you behaviour, he will come back home to you. Every marriage must go through certain challenges to build its character. The different results we get during our time of trials are the issues we play up as well as our reactions while the situation persists.

Bathe him with love and attention more than you will ordinarily would. You need to now, more than ever before, because only love has the power to buy back a man who has found comfort in the arms of another woman. Any little mistake on your part is capable of making him stay in his new comfort zone forever. So be careful you don’t give in to your natural urge to be confrontational.

Above all, learn to pray and be mindful of who you discuss your home with. God remains man’s best friend.



Good luck
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/my-husband-is-having-an-affair/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

There is this huge problem facing me. Five years ago, I left my former boyfriend because I caught him in bed with another woman. He actually tried everything to make me come back but I refused.

A year later he got married to the same woman I caught him cheating on me with. I was very hurt by it all; I vowed to get even with him.

A friend of mine took me to a spiritualist who promised to help me deal with him. Thereafter, I met and married my current husband.

Before we got married, my husband and I had a good sex life but the moment we got married, I noticed he couldn’t perform as a man.

Before we begin, he would be okay as a man but the moment he attempts to get into me, he goes limp. We didn’t understand what was happening. At first, he thought it was just the stress in the office affecting him. I did all the tricks I know as a woman but none worked when it matters the most.

While I was still trying to solve the problem, I learnt he has put another woman in the family way. His excuse was since he wasn’t able to perform as a man with me; he did it with another woman just to make sure he wasn’t the problem.

It is just that he got her pregnant but his people are making plans to bring the woman to the house.

Hurt, I went out to do the same thing he did but I discovered that none of the men I tried to sleep with could get it up.

It was then I knew I was the target of whatever is wrong with my marriage.



I tried going back to the spiritualist my friend took me to, only to discover he no longer lived where we met him. I was told by his neighbours that he had relocated.

Desperate, I confided in a friend who took me somewhere. It was there I was told that the cause of my problem had to do with what I did to my former boyfriend. I had forgotten all about that. In my confusion, it skipped my mind that I had, out of anger, told the spiritualist that I went to that he should punish him by making it impossible for him and the woman he married to function as a couple.

According to this spiritualist, the only thing that would break the curse on me is to sleep with him. Surprisingly, he could sleep with me as a man but once I go back to another man, the problem came back. I am so fed up because it looks like I will never get out of it. The more places I go, the more complicated my problems become.

The latest is that my husband has driven me out of the house. I am writing because I don’t know what else to do. I have gone everywhere but the issue remains. Please help me.

I don’t know what to do or who to turn to? Can you help me, Agatha? Can you find a solution to my problem? Will I ever be able to have a baby? I know it isn’t the usual thing to do.



Martha.





Dear Martha,

The only help I know is the house of God. There is no running away from the fact that you have got yourself involved in a very terrible thing.

He remains the only one who can help you as long as you know how to find Him and the way to His house.

Whosoever told you that solutions come from going to the homes of different spiritualists told you a lie. Instead of solutions, you experience more difficulties like you are currently going through.

How does sleeping with a spiritualist translate to your finding solution to a problem you created in the first place? Did you ever pause to think how having a sexual encounter with a complete stranger, someone you don’t know can cancel a problem you are having with other men? Do you realise the power of sex, the covenant it invokes into one’s life? Even if it were true that these spiritualists have the answers to your problem, don’t you think it is strange that they should demand sex as solution?

Granted, they could go all the way with you but that is as far as your solution goes. The truth is that you have become a sort of toy to them all, a tool they can manipulate to their pleasure.

Don’t forget that you got the problem from them in the first place. Even if in your hurt and pains you sought ways to get back at your former boyfriend for what he did to you, they should have told you to leave everything to God.

Frankly, unless you want to end up frustrated throughout your life, go to God in prayers. He listens and cares so much about us all.

He doesn’t demand anything to make right our wrong. What you are suffering is nemesis. You went to them to make your former boyfriend and his woman unhappy; ensure they don’t enjoy their union. And when the time for you to be happy too in your marriage came, you too were denied the kind of peace and joy you denied your ex and his wife.

You, more than anyone else, know the things that transpired between you and the spiritualist you went to for help to deal your former lover. Even though you didn’t meet him in his last address, you should have gone back to your ex to apologise and plead for forgiveness.

Honestly, it is not too late to do it. Having indiscriminate sex with the so called spiritual helpers you have taken to consulting for solutions will never give you the kind of release from the consequences of your action.

Already you have lost your home to another woman despite the various spiritual homes you patronise as well as the kind of payments they demand of you. First, it was your husband not being able to be intimate with you and now, it is you not having a husband at all. The drift in your life underscores the extent of the hurt you inflicted on your former boyfriend and his wife. Even if he treated you unfairly, it was wrong for you to have taken laws into your hand. The extent you went in seeking revenge cancelled whatever sympathy you deserved. Your actions effectively stopped God from coming to your rescue hence the many problems you now have.

Whatever it would cost you in pride, go to this couple and confess what you did. It is the only way to find freedom from the prison into which you have put yourself. You must stop patronising the homes of these spiritualists because they will continue to defraud you spiritually, financially and emotionally. If you don’t take the step to end it now by making your peace with this couple, you will never be free to live your own life and anywhere you go, you will continue to meet with disappointment.

The forgiveness of this couple will make it easier for you to find God His help. The law of God is simple; we all reap what we sow. It is obvious you planned for this couple not to have more children in addition to wanting to deny them the joy that comes from being married.

Out of hurt, jealousy, pains and frustration you sowed pains into the lives of this couple, forgetting that you are not God. The fact that you met and married another man a year after he left you for this other lady meant you both, were never to last forever.

Even if God had planned it that way, leaving Him to fight for you would have given you a happier and trustworthy results.

To help yourself grow in faith, stop telling friends about your problem. Rather, tell God through prayers to help you find a solution.

The moment you tell the couple what you have done, chances are that whatever spell you are suffering from would go away.

Whatever happens, hold on to God. Don’t let anyone deceive you into thinking you can find a quick solution outside Him. You must also act fast because time isn’t your friend as a woman. Everyday you delay going to this couple to beg for forgiveness and reconciling yourself to God, you eat further into your time of productivity as a woman. This is very important if you hope to have children and enjoy matrimony again.



Good luck.
More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/43939/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I met my present girl after my former wife left. We had no children between us. The current lady is 27 years, while I am 49.

My problem with her is that she is most concerned about what she can get from me while she is searching for a better offer.

We rarely make love and when we do, she insists I use a condom, whereas, from the beginning she knows my desire to have a child. My request to meet with her family members next month hasn’t been granted. As a matter of fact, she has refused to make a commitment to my request.

I’m a federal civil servant and live in my own house, though moderate. My problem now is I need a serious minded woman that I can conveniently live and raise a family with.



Depressed Man.





Dear Depressed Man,

Getting another woman isn’t the most important issue for now. There is the need for you to first determine what the challenges are with you, have a focus of the kind of woman you now need in your life as well as the kind of the marriage you want, to avoid you making another mistake. You have gone beyond meeting and proposing to a woman; you need to present the woman with much more to make her yield to your proposal.

I concur that at 49, age isn’t something that you have too much on your side but it also doesn’t mean you should throw caution into the wind by becoming so desperate for any kind of woman.

Doubtless, you have lost considerable time but there is no way you can move forward if you don’t first accept the reality of your situation.

If at 49, you are still without a child after years of marriage, the natural salient question and fear on the mind of any woman you approach for a relationship would be; why you are still childless at your age. Any girl that agrees to date you without asking this question and having a satisfactory answer will end up disappointing you. Just like in the case of your current girlfriend, her decision to date you would depend on how much you are willing to part with.

Uncomfortable as this may sound to you, the truth is that your age and condition have made you a high risk to any young lady desirous of having children. Except you are extremely lucky, no young lady would ideally want to begin her life with you. A young lady that decides to take the risk with you would need more than the assurances of love and more of security considerations to stay with you.



She would need proof that she won’t be sacrificing her womanhood if she marries you. Therefore, to protect you from yourself, you must be very honest with the choices you have.

Without debasing your ex- wife and former marriage, honestly tell the new woman you want in your life every detail she ought to know about your former marriage.

Your willingness to talk freely about issues she maybe afraid to ask in order not to hurt you will encourage a woman to stay.

It is also important you factor into your plans the age of the lady. It would have been a bit easier if you already have children. But with your situation, you need a woman who is mature and has the right shocks and frame of mind to confront whatever she will meet in her marriage to you. You need a woman who is deep enough to first appreciate you for who you are and not the challenge of marrying a childless middle-aged divorcee immediately you contact her for a relationship.

The lady in your life is treating you the way she is doing because she doesn’t have what it takes to make this kind of sacrifice for you. By staying with her more than necessary, you risk damaging whatever confidence you have left in yourself as a man. And to date her kind would further demoralise you as a man. Therefore avoid her kind of person.

In your own interest, end this relationship because it is leading nowhere. Stop exposing yourself to avoidable pains from women who are obviously out to take advantage of your situation. That you are divorced isn’t a sin. You are not less of a man either on account of that episode. A good marriage is one founded on trust and sacrifices. Once one of the parties lacks the understanding of what his or her responsibilities to the marriage are, there is no way that kind of marriage would survive.

Accept those things you cannot undo. As one gets older, illusions give way to reality. You are at that age when you take sole responsibility for your action. There is no more future anywhere. This is that all-important future you have always talked about from your childhood. Count your losses and move on. At this age, you don’t have to please anybody. A desperate and inexperienced woman would only make your life more complex. Look for a woman who has seen all there is to see about life, the kind that has the understanding that life isn’t a straight line, that every curve and twist we meet along life’s journey is an incident designed to help others grow in knowledge and wisdom.

You need a woman who would first of all see you as her friend, son, brother and partner. Only this kind of woman will have the patience to help you come to your full realisation and potentials as a man.

A good marriage isn’t just about having a child but also about being happy. You must be happy to be a good husband, friend, father and leader of your home. Without the person you are sharing your space, body and mind with, you will be empty. This is one terrible thing about aging. It brings to the fore the essence and reason God made us in pair. As the days age, we are increasingly reminded of the importance of having that special person to share our space. There is no way a woman who isn’t properly in tune with your dreams can make you happy. Marriage is a compromise of every aspect of life.

Take time out of this relationship first; sort out your needs before settling down with one. Ensure you and the woman you eventually settle for share so many things in common. The examples of others around us should always serve as lessons for those willingly to learn. Besides, you have experience you should learn from; I’m sure you wouldn’t want to go through what you went through in your first marriage.

Your inability to pay attention to details, those ones we often, in our emotional bliss, neglect to notice and act on cost you the marriage.

Don’t allow that to happen again. Look for a woman who is your real soulmate.



Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/want-woman-can-marry/

It goes without saying that Barcelona are one of the most successful football clubs of all-time. Titles are won year after year as great players pull on the famous Catalonian blue and red.

All week, Sportsmail have been counting down the 50 best players ever to have played at the Nou Camp, and it is finally time to reveal the top 10.

There’s no Pep Guardiola, Carles Puyol or Neymar… but the below list surely includes some of the most talented men ever to play the beautiful game.

10 – PAULINO ALCANTARA

Born in the Philippines in 1896 but with a Spanish father, Paulino Alcantara moved to Barcelona when he was three years old and would grow up to be a Barca great, scoring 357 goals in 357 games.

Four years after his debut he returned to the Philippines to become a doctor but Barca lost the next two title races without him and begged him to come back. He sailed back to Europe (a journey lasting two months) and with in three days of his return scored a hat-trick against Sabadell.

Nicknamed ‘the net-buster’ he retired a year before the league was formed but did win five Spanish Cups before quitting age 30 to finally dedicate himself to medicine.

9 – PEPE SAMITIER

The third-highest goalscorer in Barca’s history with 326 goals, Pepe Samitier made his debut for Barcelona in 1919 aged 17 and played for the club for 13 seasons.

He won two leagues and was nicknamed ‘the Grasshopper’ and ‘the Magician’ – long in the leg but not short on spellbinding skill.

He also won silver with Spain in the 1920 Olympics, played a season for Real Madrid, and returned to Barca as coach, managing the club for three seasons winning another Liga title.

8 – JOHAN CRUYFF

For sheer impact on the club itself he would have to be No 1 but Cruyff the player was not quite the force of Cruyff the coach. He still left a huge mark on Barcelona, however, arriving in 1973 as the ban was lifted on Spanish clubs signing foreign players.

Legal wrangles meant he only debuted at the end of October with Barca one off the bottom. He lashed his first goal into the top corner in his first game against Granada and Barca didn’t lose again all season.

He had chosen Barca over Real Madrid despite the latter reaching an agreement with Ajax and he delivered Barca’s first league in 14 years at the end of that first campaign.

7 – DANI ALVES

He arrived in 2008 and for the next eight years he delivered a level of consistent excellence that helped Barcelona win three European Cups and dominate La Liga. He won 23 trophies at the club, including five leagues.

Of criticism over his defending he told Sportsmail in an interview last season: ‘Imagine what I would have achieved if I’d been any good!’

6 – GERARD PIQUE

Another player who may only be fully appreciated when he is a long gone and lesser mortal are trying to replace him.

Like Alves he arrived in 2008 and has won 23 trophies since. And if true greatness can be measured in part by a capacity to reinvent then Pique has that stamp – he was second in command to Puyol until 2010 but has grown into the defence’s leader since his pal’s retirement.

5 – ANDRES INIESTA

It’s four Champions League final wins now for Andres Iniesta. He came on at half time to change the game against Arsenal in Paris in 2006; his dramatic late winner at Stamford Bridge got Barca to the 2009 Rome final; he starred in the 2011 final at Wembley, and set up the first goal in Berlin in 2015.

One of Barca’s greatest … and he scored the most important goal in Spain’s history too.

4 – RONALDINHO

Mr Bojangles himself. Barcelona taxi-drivers still talk about the legendary nightlife Ronaldinho enjoyed during his five years but he played hard too putting a smile back on the face of a club in the doldrums when he turned up.

The league and Champions League double in 2006 was the highlight. He was so good they even applauded him in the Bernabeu.

3 – LADISLAO KUBALA

So many people wanted to see Ladislao Kubala play Barcelona in the 1950s that they had to build a new 93,000 capacity Nou Camp to replace their old 60,000 capacity Camp de les Corts.

He scored 194 goals and won four leagues as well as playing in the 1961 European Cup final Barca lost to Benfica.

Life before Barca had been fraught with danger. He escaped communist Hungary dressed as a Russian soldier and may have died in the 1949 air disaster that killed the great Torino side of the forties. He was supposed to be representing them in a friendly against Benfica in Portugal but pulled out for family reasons and it saved his life enabling to go on write his name in the history books of Barcelona and play 19 times for Spain despite having already represented Hungary and Czechoslovakia.

2 – XAVI HERNANDEZ

When he retired from Barcelona after 17 seasons in 2015 it was calculated that Xavi Hernandez had played 59,000 minutes for the club winning 25 trophies in the process. His record of 767 games may never be beaten.

He was the heartbeat of the team as they climbed to the summit of world football and, in the eyes of many supporters, he will never be replaced.

They console themselves with the conviction that he will return as coach some day.

1 – LIONEL MESSI

When Catalan agent Josep Maria Minguella brought a 13-year-old Argentine to Barcelona for a trial in 2000 he told the club’s then technical director Charly Rexach that he was bringing him ‘the next Maradona’.

There were quite a few ‘new Maradonas’ in circulation at the time so there was some skepticism. But of the first time he saw Messi play Rexach recalls: ‘After two minutes I knew.’

Sixteen years later and Messi is the greatest player in the club’s history. Years from now the club’s supporters will not need to reel off the trophies he won, or the number of goals he scored. It will be enough for them just to say: ‘I saw him play’.

More;http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/messi-ronaldinho-xavi-among-greatest-players-ever-no-1/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



My marriage is just three months old, but the kind of problems we are already having is making me tired already.

When my husband and I were dating we used to share his room and bed so I assumed after marriage we would share a room. But to my amazement, after a week, he told me to move my things into the next room. Even though the rooms have doors that link them together through the bathroom and toilet, I didn’t like the idea of sleeping on a separate bed from my husband at night.

The more I tried to argue the point, the more determined he appeared to be. Since it was too early for us to be fighting over such a matter, I didn’t push it beyond registering my displeasures. Besides, I reasoned there is no way he would protest my sleeping in his room.

But I reasoned wrongly as that night, he told me after making love to relocate to my room that he wanted his peace and space. He didn’t stop there; he told me it was a taboo for him to share his bed with a menstruating woman or a nursing mother. He also said by his upbringing, a serious minded man doesn’t allow a woman near him all the time. Finally, he told me that he would be the one coming to my room whenever he has the urge to make love.

When I asked what would happen if I feel like making love, he didn’t give a reply.

I thought he was joking but his attitude of the successive days showed he wasn’t. After I tried to force myself into his room once or twice, he took to locking his side of the two doors. He only opens the door when he felt like easing himself or taking his bath.

It is so confusing. Another thing is the issue of joint account. He wants us to have a joint account. I don’t want it due to the experiences of my friends. He is equally adamant about it. I am honestly getting fed up with all these challenges. We dated for two years. I never knew he was this rigid and so traditional.

We appear to be worlds apart. I don’t know what to do at all because the man I see daily in the house is a complete stranger who doesn’t have semblance to the one I dated and married.



Toyin.







Dear Toyin,

Marriage is like a gift pack; you don’t know what is in it until the package is opened.

The first attitude towards a successful marriage is to accept what you have been given. Without you looking for something positive to hold on to at this initial stage of marriage, you will end up making a complete mess of it all by focusing only on the challenges.

Trials can come anytime but when they come early in a marriage, they empower the couple to develop the essential determination to fight for their love.

Rather than see your husband as a difficult man, why not ask and investigate the kinds of doctrine he grew up with? Don’t forget our childhood experiences and examples provide us with the ideas we take into our adulthood. He cannot be better than what he was brought up with. If his parents or guardians shared separate rooms, that is what he is most likely to take as the norm.

Therefore fighting him over what he has been brought up to think is the right example of how married couples live would only heat up the temperature of your home unnecessarily. This is because he would never be able to comprehend why you are fighting him or want things done in another way.

So, drop the combative approach and show him love and understanding. To wean a person from long held notions require patience and love. If he has to embrace your new concept, the change must be clothed in attractive package to entice him to try it. To expect him to embrace your ideas instantly is wrong.

Begin by using your room as a love nest. When he comes into your room, make it impossible for him to want to leave you after making love. Having dated and made love to him for two years, you must have an idea of how he wants it or the things he desires. Once you perceive him to be in the mood, go and prepare yourself and room. Go for the kill in a nightgown that will make it impossible for him to resist or leave your arms. Bath yourself in smooth body, nice smelling body lotion. Follow with a perfume that will make it impossible for him not to remember you whenever he sniffs it anywhere. Ensure he has enough on his clothes so when he goes back to his room; he takes part of you with him.

In the morning, wear another kind of perfume that will stay with him throughout the day. Unknown to many, good perfumes stimulate sexual desires. It will etch you permanently into his subconscious sufficiently to make him dream of different kinds of fantasies about you. He has only said, he doesn’t want you both sharing a room, not that he doesn’t want you in his room. When you come before him, prepare yourself nicely for the taking. After giving him his meals, follow him to his room to discuss and share jokes with him. Ensure the issue of different bedrooms doesn’t affect your intimacy or friendship.



During those times, ensure your nightgown is the kind that screams sexy-the kind he cannot resist. Use whatever you have as a woman to ensure nothing affects the intimacy between the two of you until he begins to see the futility in having two different rooms.

Problem will come if you insist on being difficult or stubborn about it. As long as you play along with him, refusing to be defeated by his attitude, he would eventually come to see reasons with you. Don’t forget he is expecting you to be stubborn about this new thinking of his and is prepared too to have his way as the head of the house. But you disarm him by refusing to fight or complain about it.

By allowing him have his way, you are telling him you are ready to make the marriage work at all cost. It is one of the essential sacrifices women make to keep their homes.

As for the issue of joint account, there is no harm in trying. Put in only what you can afford. Don’t use the experiences of your friends to run your own. Have your own experience so that you can cite it in future as a reason for refusing to do a particular thing.

Above all, develop the attitude of prayers and respect for him.



Good luck.
More; http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/husband-doesnt-want-sleep-room/

With Auntie Agatha

I don’t know why my wife hates every member of my family. We have been married for nine years now and blessed with a male child who is six years old. After the arrival of our son, her hatred for my people, most especially my mother, grew. For some strange reasons, she came to the conclusions that my mother is a bad woman who pretends a lot and is also a witch.

Since then, anything I say about my people ends up in misunderstanding between us. When I realised this, I stopped discussing issues concerning my family with her. She doesn’t want me to have anything to do with them. When they call, she would instruct me to tell them she isn’t around. Sometimes, I say that to satisfy her. She also thinks I lie about the amount of money I tell her I give to them.

I confess she has been very supportive since I lost my job. But it is sad that since becoming the breadwinner, her behaviour has changed. In all sincerity, it doesn’t bother me except her nagging over issues that are best forgotten. As a person, I don’t brag over whatever God has used me to do for anybody because nothing can be accomplished without His power. Whenever I remind her of this important fact of life, she calms down. She is very aggressive; the reason I disallowed my daughter I had before meeting her from staying with us. She hates them all with a passion. I always tell her to appreciate God for giving her a male child. My sex life is zero. At times, we make love only about five to six times in a year; not because I don’t want to, but because she keeps resisting any move I make towards being intimate with her. I still love her but not as much as I used to. She even told me her mother advised her to end the marriage because everywhere they went, my mother gets fingered as being behind all the problems confronting me. Thankfully, she declined the mother’s advice. I am the very quiet type; I don’t talk much and am very patient but patience shouldn’t be taken for granted.



Folaborn.



Dear Folaborn,

No, patience shouldn’t be taken for granted. But in marriage, it is never enough especially when things are this cloudy and inexplicable.

There are so many confusing angles in this story making it difficult for me to be precise on this matter.

What was the relationship between you and your wife before you lost your job? Has she always been hostile to your family members? What is your mother’s contribution to the strained relationship between your wife and her? Why didn’t you marry the mother of your daughter? Did you notice these character flaws in your wife during courtship? Have you sat her down to discuss your pains and disappointments at her attitude? As a man, in what ways have you tried to assert authority? Being quiet isn’t the same thing as being timid. A woman can be the bread winner but she must be respectful and sensitive to the feelings of her husband.

Before taking your daughter out of your house, did you discuss the issue with your wife? How did you and your family treat her when you still had a job? What kind of mother is her mother? Is she the domineering kind who also lacks respect for her husband? If you were to comment on the relationship between your mother and father-in-laws, how would you describe it? How often do you resist attempts by your wife to recreate the kind of relationship between her parents in your home?

The reasons I asked these questions are to help you come to a better understanding of the kind of thoughts going on inside her mind as well as where the problems are coming from.

I will begin from the last four questions. There is no way your wife can be better than the training and examples she got from her mother. Except in very few instances, daughters grow into the kinds of wives their mothers are to their fathers. If her mother is in the habit of hushing her husband to submission through nagging, don’t expect anything different from the daughter. She will never be different from the example and situation she grew up knowing.

That is the only example she has; of a domineering mother and a hen-pecked father. The irony of life is that in most cases, girls gravitate towards men like their fathers. Chances are she noticed similarities in your person and that of her father. It isn’t something that happens consciously. Most of the time, we do these things unconsciously because the examples our different environments provide us with are permanently etched in that side of our memory bank that houses the hard-drive. We don’t get to use them as we use the software but they are there and come to powerful play when important decisions concerning our lives are to be taken.

That is why we want our children to do things the same way we did them as children. In a twisted way too, your wife also shares certain similarities with your mother; the reason you picked her for a wife.

Furthermore, the strength which has become a problem to you now, was in the beginning a plus as you thought it would come handy when things are not going on well for you.

The problem you are having with your marriage and wife is that of managing all the loose ends to your advantage. The fact that she is able to step in to care for the family makes your unconscious judgment about her strength on target but, as each day unfolds, this same virtue has become your pain.

If you want to escape being like your father-in-law, you must show your fangs from time to time. You don’t have to be violent to be in charge. There is tremendous strength in being quiet. Use quiet authority to take over the headship of your home to stop the downtrend of your marriage. Let her know that the reason you tolerate her excesses isn’t because you are afraid of being left in the cold; rather, you are enduring her behaviour because you swore before the world to uphold the tenets of the marriage institution. Make it clear to her that you have a choice as a man to go outside your home for the comfort of a woman’s body since she is denying you of hers. Both man made laws and the laws of God will support you, given the condition between you and her. Hearing that you do have a choice in this matter, would definitely make her more cautious. No matter her lack of interest in you, she would not want another woman to take her place; the reason she resisted her mother’s pressures that she quits the marriage.

She has persisted because you gave her the impression you don’t have a choice. Being jobless doesn’t make you less of a man. Which brings me to the next issue; only few women appreciate and understand the agony of a man without a means of supporting his family. If you have to borrow from friends, do so and begin a business, no matter how small it is. Going out everyday and bringing in something is the only way to end the reign of terror in your home especially with a wife like yours.

It is the only time you can sit her down to a meaningful discussion without enduring another series of insults from her as you will no longer appear to be pathetic. One question you should ask in your dialogue with her is, if you made a mistake by marrying her. Let her know that as a man, you will always have a choice of whether to continue or not in the marriage.



In addition, find out why she hates your family with so much passion. If she is unwilling to talk, ask her if it has anything to do with whatever attitude they put up against her in the past. Chances are, she sees your current travails as a God-given opportunity to repay you and your family for something they did to her long ago. Talking with her will unveil certain things, which you as a man and the head of the home must learn from. Sometimes, someone with a deeper mindset to mean something else could misinterpret a harmless statement. The fact that you took your daughter away from the house is enough to make a woman with the tendency to make trouble, determined to make life very uncomfortable for her man.

You can use your quietness to thaw her by refusing to talk to her, instead concentrate on your son. It is a matter of you being determined to regain the headship of your home. You are losing grip of everything because you have become comfortable in your situation.

Again, the fact that you are taking money from her to give your family is enough for her to be rude to them especially as there appears to be no love lost between them from the beginning. Your family should understand your situation and refrain from asking you for money. They should think of ways to help you get back on your feet again. Their demand is contributing to your problems with your wife who feels bad that her money is being given to people who don’t like her.

Above all, learn to trust God more than before.


Good luck.More; http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/hates-family-passion/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

My doctor has just told me, that I’ve very limited time to live. According to him, leukemia has eaten too deep into my system.

That is okay by me since I have lived a good life and can say I am fulfilled. My only child is doing very well as God has blessed me with four beautiful grandchildren.

I can’t complain except that a recent letter I received, threatening to smear my happiness.

It all happened 40 years ago when a prostitute who used to patronise my shop got pregnant. That day, she came to my shop located at Campus Square, Lagos, to buy rice. I noticed she had puffy eyes and wasn’t in her usual jovial mood.

She didn’t take her food away but sat on my side of the table. I allowed her be. It was more than a whole hour before she told me about her predicament. She was pregnant and wanted to terminate the pregnancy because it would affect her job.

Being childless after three years of marriage, I advised against it. She asked if I would be interested in having the baby since she had no intention of keeping it. I told her I would give the whole world to have a baby to call my own.

I said this to encourage her. That was the last I saw of her until one morning, I came to my shop to start preparing for the sales of the day and I met the most shocking but pleasant sight in the world. It was a beautiful bouncing baby boy in a milk carton.

He was neatly dressed. Inside the carton was a note from the mother that I should look after the baby as mine since I desperately wanted one. In it, she told me, she wanted the freedom to live her life the way she wanted it and didn’t want a fatherless baby stopping her.

I was sad at her rejection of the baby but glad she gave him to me. Six months before the incident, my husband and his people had thrown me out for another woman who was carrying my husband’s baby.

That morning, I didn’t bother with my shop that day; I took the baby to my mother in Mushin.

That was how I started a new life all together with the child. He brought me luck because suddenly everything started working well for me so much so I was able to buy an expanse of land at Palm Avenue.

I was able to send him abroad to study medicine and today he is one of the very best in the country.

Now, his biological mother has sent a note insisting, she wants to meet him. I called her on the number she gave, she assured me her intention is simply to know him and nothing more.

Agatha, the question is how do I tell him he isn’t mine? How do I tell him that he bears my mother’s maiden name? And that he is the son of a prostitute and that he has no father?

He is a very sensitive young man. How do I face my grandchildren with the truth concerning their heritage?

Do I beg her to allow me die before breaking the news to him and his family? Would he ever be able to love me again as his mother or accord me any respect for lying to him all these while?

Please help me resolve this issue before I die. This is a race against time.



Arinola.



Dear Arinola,

I can imagine all the different emotions going on inside of you. It isn’t easy coping with the knowledge that any moment one would stop breathing but don’t we all carry around the same death sentence? Even the doctor who has given you the verdict isn’t exempted from the mortal end we all come with.

For this reason, learn to celebrate each day with thanksgiving to God for His mercies that have kept you thus far. For the experiences as well as the opportunity of allowing you share in the excitement, pains as well growth of this young man.

Also celebrate the gift of your grandchildren as well as your daughter-in-law. You deserve to be happy after labouring to sustain his life through his nascent days to adulthood.

These are memories and investment no other woman can take away from you or deny you the opportunity of savouring.

Yes, she gave birth to him that is a basic fact which cannot also be denied her, for this she has a right to meet with him and get to know the son she carried in her womb for nine months. After all, if she had made the choice many young girls in her position daily make, you wouldn’t have had him to nurse.

Again, don’t forget that she had a choice of strangulating him at birth, dumping him inside the toilet or dustbin but she elected to bring him to your shop as a special gift to you. It could have been another woman who had him in your place. Something could have happened to you that morning to stop you from coming to the shop. The baby would have been taken to the Police Station and subsequently to the motherless babies’ home.

Call her whatever name you want to call her but she ensured she gave her baby to the woman she knew would give him a good home. She must have known how desperate you are to have a child, knew about all your matrimonial problems due to your childlessness hence decided to bless you with her baby, who she knew she could ill-afford to look after at that time.

That she knew where to locate you with a note suggests that she has never been far away from her child. What she feels is natural, she longs to touch as well as behold the child she carried in the secret of her belly.

Whether she is or was a prostitute is immaterial, this would never stop the maternal longings she has endured all these while.

Whatever her short-comings God designed your son to come to you through that process. If she hadn’t gone into prostitution, gotten pregnant in the way she did, you wouldn’t have had a child to call your own. She could have gone into prostitution simply to help give you this child. God’s ways are mysterious.

So in more ways than one, you must ensure their re-union and help douse the attendant tension on the part of mother and child.

This child is yours because you nursed him from the first moments of his life. He has your love deep inside his heart, so don’t be afraid he would ever stop loving you or abandon you now when you need him the most.

Besides, you must believe in the job you have done on him. If you planted love and wisdom into him, this is the time for you to reap it. We are products of our up-bringing. If you didn’t bring him up to be unreasonable, rude and unappreciative of the efforts of people, he would never blame you for lying to him or condemn you for it.



Your guidance too would help both mother and child talk without bitterness. No doubt he would wonder at the manner of mother abandoned her child at birth. Just as he would condemn her choice of a trade but you can help him get over the pains by pointing him at all the good reasons he should not turn his back on her now.

But before that, call him to tell him about his past. Start from the very beginning of your own story. How you were driven away by your husband and his family over your inability to have a child. Paint the picture of your pains, rejection as well as embarrassment.

He has to be made to feel in vivid picture what you went through. This is called playing on his emotions. It is the only way he can think objectively, appreciate the sacrifices of you and his mother to enable him forgives. His human feeling has to be brought to the fore in your presentation.

Then tell him of how you first met his mother leading to the time she came to your shop early that morning to tell you about her predicament and all the things you both discussed.

Prepare the grounds by telling him all the good things you observed about his mother, her smile and good nature. Include the fact that something must have pushed her into prostitution. It is imperative he has something positive about his mother to hold on to, something to help him cope with the shock of her presence and actions. When we are drowning, we all need something, even if it is a fragile straw to hold on to hope.

The bit about finding him at your shop door, the note and the joy you felt at having him should form the concluding end of your story.

Beg him after this, to forgive the lies you told about his identity as well as his mother’s behaviour before telling him of her wish to meet him.

This is an issue you both have to iron out on your own before bringing your daughter-in-law and grandchildren into the picture.

Call his mother only after you have done this.

Don’t worry, God, who has been in charge of your affairs before you were born, knows about this development and has taken care of it ahead of time. Just trust Him and celebrate His mercies in your life. Already, it is well.



Good luck.
More;http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/hard-say-biological-mother-LovePeddler/

Investigations into the Rs 2,000-crore drug bust case revealed that a Nigerian national, who was recently arrested for drug peddling, would sell the contraband to students in Navi Mumbai.

The anti-narcotics cell following revelations by the 11th accused, Sushil Kumar Assikannan, the director of a shipping company, arrested Felix Oshita, 34, a Kamothe resident.

Oshita, who was arrested late last Wednesday, revealed that he had taken a room on rent, claiming to be a law student with a Navi Mumbai college. On carrying out a house search, three kg ephedrine powder and six gm meth was found.

"He told us that he often had sold a drug, Ice, which is the final product from ephedrine, which he procured from Assikannan. His market was the student community in Navi Mumbai but so far no student has been found to be involved," said assistant police commissioner Bharat Shelke.

A police team escorted Assikannan to the Avon Life Sciences factory in Solapur to understand how he smuggled out the ephedrine from there.

Shelke said, "He initially told us that he was taking out old stock from an old godown. But we found that with the help of Punit Shringi, who has access to the godown, fresh stock was smuggled out to the drug cartel in Kenya, led by former Bollywood actress, Mamta Kulkarni." Oshita took 25 kg five times to Kenya and is suspected to have handed it to Vicky Goswami's cartel's Dr Abdulla of Tanzania for further processing, he said.

- timesofindiaMore; http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/nigerian-held-india-drug-bust-sold-drugs-navi-mumbai-students/

The Police in Enugu has arrested a 20-year-old herdsman, Ibrahim Adamumale, for being in possession of an AK47 rifle, police said.

The suspect, who said he was an indigene of Nasarawa State, was also found with 24 rounds of live ammunition.

The spokesman of Enugu State Police Command, Ebere Amaraizu, confirmed the arrest on Tuesday in Enugu.

Mr. Amaraizu said the suspect, who revealed that he lived at Hausa quarters in 9th-mile area and had some cows at Affa-Udi bush, was arrested on Sunday.

“The suspect was nabbed by the combined efforts of the police and the members of the public from Affa-Udi community acting on a tip off.

“The suspect, before he was nabbed, had expended about six shots on the air to evade being nabbed.

“Before now, the police and members of the public have gathered information about the suspect’s antecedents in relation to bearing of sophisticated weapon within Affa-Udi axis in Udi council area and its environs,” he said.

Mr. Amaraizu said the suspect was already helping the police in their investigation to determine how he came about the rifle.

He said the state’s Commissioner of Police, Emmanuel Ojukwu, had expressed delight at the effort of his men and the community that led to the arrest of the suspect.

“The Commissioner has reassured that under his watch, he will continue to partner relevant stakeholders and sister security agencies for a safe, secure and peaceful Enugu State.”

Suspected armed herdsmen have killed at least a dozen people in Enugu this year in attacks.

The first attack took place at Nimbo community. Two people were killed in the latest attack last week at Ndiagwu Attakwu, Akegbe-Ugwu in Nkanu West Local Government Area of the state.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/police-arrest-herdsman-ak47-rifle-ammunition-enugu/

With Auntie Agatha


Dear Agatha,

I am in severe emotional pains. This is because the man I am currently in relationship with is very jealous to the extent I cannot talk to any man except him.

Although he promised to marry me but we are always quarreling, as a matter of fact, every second. I don’t know what to do; either to end it or continue with the relationship.
Please help me.

Joy.



Dear Joy,
Of what use is a relationship where the couple quarrels every second of the day? When do you both have time to blend, discover your values and importance to each other if all you do is disagree because one of you is too jealous to be reasonable?

Trust is an essential part of a relationship. Without this, there is no way both of you can function as a couple. You both must find that equilibrium in your emotions to exist as one entity.

He has to scale down on his jealousies while you have to be more transparent in your dealings with him to erase every doubt he may have in his mind concerning your loyalty to him.

First you have to take the time to find out why he is this way. You must understand the premise he is coming from else you will never comprehend how deep his insecurities are. It is either he had a very terrible experience in the past or that he is generally an in-secured man.

Sit him down to ask for explanations on why he thinks you are dating every man you talk to. While jealousy is natural to mankind; the kind you describe is not normal. If you cannot talk to any man at all, how does he expect you to work or do business? How will you ever get by and cope with such a man?

From experience, this isn’t something you should treat with levity or go into at all. The truth of the matter is, overtime, such men become violent and very unpredictable. To marry such a man is to sign your death warrant as he could kill in a flash of jealousy.

There is no taming a man prone to jealousy. Not only are such men violent but are always depressed; two emotions dangerous for peace and harmony in any relationship.

Knowing what his problems are is only part of the solution; your major challenge would be getting him to beat the habit. Frankly, this kind of habit cannot be trashed so easily or within a day.

It takes certain kind of patience, sacrifice, tolerance and stubborn determination. There are times he would become wild, unmanageable and very unreasonable. Will you be able to cope with knowing your man is like a gun powder that can trigger anytime?

This isn’t time to be sentimental but for you to face reality by refusing to lead yourself into a situation that will make you very miserable at the end of the day.

Sometimes, it is best to remain single and be happy than to be married and be miserable. The choice is really yours to make at the end of the day.

Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/he-is-too-jealous-and-suspicious/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



I have been a follower of the heartwarming advices you render to the helpless; meaning I’m your greatest fan and I’d really say it’s encouraging, I took a blood oath with a girl for my own selfish reasons. Though I

have feelings for her but if you ask me, I’d say she has little feelings for me.

Since taking the oath, I’m no longer myself, I isolate myself from all my good female

friends. This has resulted into calls for thorough investigation into what is

going on.

My hands are always on my cheek whenever I’m alone.

The oath was made between the both of us. No native doctor was there. The razor blade we used; is still with me.

Please Ma, I want to know if the oath is potent without a native doctor. If it is, please assist me on what to do.

Victor.





Dear Victor,



An oath is an oath irrespective of whether or not there was the presence of a third party.

To help you understand the subject of oath taking; lets look at the agreement between a man and woman. The major covenant is the decision of the two of them to have a relationship. Without this initial oath between the two of them to spend their lives together, there would be no exchange of wedding vows that the world witnesses.

Irrespective of whatever method you people employ to agree on an issue; it becomes binding.

In the process of meeting a woman or man, we enter unknowingly into different kinds of oaths. The idea of having sex with a girlfriend or boyfriend is itself a covenant which also requires certain kinds of prayers to neutralize should the relationship go askew.

The reason for this is simple; in the process of making love, life generating fluids get exchanged by the couple; the reason sex outside marriage is both a spiritual and physical gamble. Sex with a cursed or wrong person can complicate and destroy the other person’s life because of this exchange. For a man particularly, having sex with the wrong woman can put him under her complete control unless God intervenes on behalf of the man.

Adding a blood oath to your relationship with a woman or man; makes it more binding because in the spiritual realm, blood signifies life.

By taking a blood oath, you have unwittingly bounded your life with hers forever since there is no way you can both separate the blood you each sucked from the other person’s finger.

It is also strange that you took the oath knowing that you aren’t totally into each other. It is like betting away your peace of mind as well as future.



Already, having sex with her puts you in a precarious position; to add a blood oath to it, is ringing yourself into a very difficult corner; one you will need the special grace of God to survive.

To be candid, spiritually, you have armed this girl with every weapon to deal with you. If she is from the wrong stock, there is no telling the kinds of attacks you will experience should you decide to break up with her.

As it is now, that oath you took with her is a life acceptance of her person in your life; an assurance that you will always be hers and by her side; an iron-cast commitment to her.

Deep in her mind, she has ended her search for the right man since you went beyond oral commitment to something more assuring- a blood oath. Not even the exchange of marital vows can be as strong as the oath you took with her. On this is the new anchor of your relationship; her renewed hope of a happy ending between the two of you.

Against this background; if you really hope to get out of this emotional gulf you have inadvertently placed yourself in, talk to her.

First sound her out; pick her brains on her views about the relationship, plans for the future as well as what she thinks about the blood oath.

From this point, you have to be very careful how you proceed with her and how you handle this situation.

Sounding her out, shall give you a complete picture into her feelings as well as her thoughts concerning the future of the relationship. This way, you will know what to say and how to present the issue to her.

At this crucial point, what you need is to come out with the truth. To do otherwise would only further complicate things in your lives.

If she isn’t into you as you claim; surely, she too maybe looking for a way out of the blunder both of you have committed.

By making an honest declaration that the reason for the oath was premised on selfish reasons and not a carefully thought at thing, you are giving her the open vista of the challenges that await both of you if you don’t come together to break it.

As much as possible; tell her about your unease, state of mind since the act and how wrong you think you in particular were to fathom such crazy idea.

This is the point you come out with the truth concerning your act. It could be you were scared of losing her to someone else; to ensure she remained yours for ever.

Whatever prompted you to ask for such highly spiritual covenant, she has a right to know.

Don’t lie about all the fears you had then and those you have now.

One of them, you must admit is the limitations it has placed on your socialization with members of the opposite sex. Let her know you feel very much like a prisoner to the oath.

No matter how bad she feels about the new development; she may not want to keep you tied to an oath against your will. If she is one woman who values her self worth and happiness, she will readily let go but if she isn’t you might have it very tough getting her to let go of you in which case, you have to pray ceaselessly to gain freedom from the prison you freely walked into.

Also, her attitude and reactions would also be moderated by what you intend to do with the relationship after the breaking of the oath. This is why you must be really clear and honest in all that you tell her.

If your reason is to let go of the relationship, don’t lie to her; be bold enough to tell her. the truth like I said before is, the sexual bond between a man and woman equips the woman with the kind of spiritual power to deal with the man anytime she wishes. So, the issue here is not just about breaking the blood oath but about treating her with respect and sincerity.

Once you are truthful, you will get every support from her eventually even if at the beginning she appears uncooperative.

As for the question of whether a native doctor is required to break the oath, what for? It is bad enough that you had to resort to blood taking oath; don’t complicate your life with going to a native doctor to undo it. The two of you did it, the two of you should undo it on your own by asking for the forgiveness of God because of the blood and His mercy to overcome whatever repercussions your act might have provoked spiritually and physically.

Good luck.More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/can-break-oath/

In what looks like a fallout of outcry against security insensitivity, the Enugu State Police Command has arrested the suspected mastermind of the herdsmen attack on Ndi­agu Attakwu Akegbe Ugwu community in Nkanu West Local Government Area of the state.

According to a statement by the command’s spokesman, Mr Ebere Ama­raizu, yesterday, the suspected mastermind is Umaru Isah from Gusau, capital of Zamfara. Amaraizu said that the arrest of the suspect followed intelligence made available to the command.

“The Enugu State Police Command, in its resolve to unmask the perpetrators of the attack on Ndi­agu Attakwu Akegbe Ugwu, has nabbed one Umaru Isah over his alleged involve­ment in the incident.

“The suspect, who claimed to be 20 years of age, said he came to Enugu from Gusau in Zamfara State to rear cattle, but has none to rear till now. Investigations are still on with a view to un­masking his gang,” he said.

Amaraizu said the police would, how­ever, stop at nothing to ensure that those involved in the act were apprehended and brought to book.

It would be recalled that sus­pected herdsmen attacked the community in the early hours of Thursday dur­ing which a Catholic seminarian, identi­fied as Mr Lazarus Nwankwo, was killed.

Four other victims of the same family, including a pregnant mother, also received various life-threaten­ing machete cuts on their heads and stomach.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/master-minder-enugu-herdsmen-killings-arrested/

Explosion Rocks Isoko Development Secretariat In Delta
With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I’m a man of 29 years of age. I met my wife, who is still a student, during one of my regular visits to her daddy’s. She visited me for a few weeks and the following month, she came with the story of her missing period. As at then, I didn’t have any reason to doubt her. So we started marriage preparations and got married.

However, I recently chanced on something she used before which implicated her of still being in a relationship after we started dating with a man she earlier told me she wasn’t dating any more when I first went to visit her at her hostel at the time we just started.

I confronted her immediately, pretending I had a spy in her hostel who told me about the over night visit of her ex around the time we became intimate.

Thinking I actually had someone spying on her, made her to admit to the truth, but, insisted it happened a month before she slept with me.

She has put to bed. Though the baby takes after her in look, I’m planning to trick her into taking the baby for a paternity test to make sure the boy is my mine. I want her to follow me abroad during my regular visit to put to rest my suspicions and anxiety over the true paternity of the child. Please advise me on what to do if I confirm that the baby is not mine.

Suspicious Father.


Dear Suspicious Father,
You are part of the problem you are trying to solve. The reason is: If you didn’t sleep with her within few weeks of meeting her, you won’t be subjecting yourself to these bouts of doubts over the paternity of the child.

If you didn’t demand for moral values when you first met her, why are you now questing for it with the paternity of the innocent child?
Don’t forget, he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. If you could sleep with her few days of your meeting her, why do you think another man too cannot do the same?

What investigations did you conduct into her behavior before going the whole way with her? Did you bother to find out the kind of woman you were getting entangled with? What plans did you have in mind when you first met her?

There is a lot more than just sex in every relationship. If you had given yourselves time and space to discover each other’s weaknesses, strengths, social and moral values, you won’t have this vexing and delicate challenge so early in the marriage. Unfortunately, your inability to fine-tune your desires is going to be shouldered by an innocent child, who didn’t have anything to do with your decisions to date, have sex and marry his mother.

Besides, either way the result goes, your marriage may not survive it because if it turns out that the child is really yours, your wife may not be able to forget and forgive the humiliation the test put her through as a woman. It can be very painful to a woman to discover that the man she thinks she knows doesn’t trust her at all.

By all means, it is your right to find out whose baby you have under your roof, especially as you are suspicious of the child’s paternity. But, it would do your marriage a world of good if you prepare the woman involved in all these.

There is no way she won’t find out the purpose of the visit at the end of the day. If she knows how you feel about the piece of evidence you saw and the damage it has done in the area of trust so early in the marriage, you might not need to go all the way abroad to find out whose baby the child really is.

She might opt to tell you the truth instead of allowing others witness her disgrace at the hospital where you intend to have the test done.
Often than not, a well intentioned dialogue within a relationship/marriage achieves more than force or deceit, which is what you are about to do by tricking her to follow you for paternity test of the baby, without giving her the opportunity of admitting to the truth. If you are thinking beyond this issue of the paternity of this child, you must find ways of solving this issue within the two of you.

This is because if the child turns out to be yours, the wound of what you are about to do will remain fresh forever, as your wife can use this piece of information against you whenever you step out of line. This is because there is always a special bond between sons and their mothers, which a woman can use to either make or mar her husband.

Being your first son and child, you need from this nascent stage, start a foundation of friendship, trust and responsibility between the two of you. This can only happen if you handle this matter with utmost caution and wisdom.
Don’t do anything that will be difficult to erase for life. Give her the benefit of admitting the truth to you. And if she insists that the child is yours at that point, trust her and allow peace to reign in your home.

However, if the child turns out not to be yours; don’t give in too much to pains of disappointment by making a big show out of it. Quietly as possible, ease her out of your life by telling her to return the baby to its biological father, because that child has a right to the love and support of the father.
The decision of what to do with the marriage becomes your choice from that point.
Before you do this, why not pray about it as every child comes with a blessing from God.

Good luck.



More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/doubt-child-mine/

A certain kind of drama almost always plays out when EFCC arraigns an accused person in court. The defence counsel would immediately apply for court bail. However, if the court temporarily denies the application, the counsel would again rise in open court and passionately plead with the trial judge to allow his client remain in EFCC holding facility, pending the determination of bail, or, where his application was granted, pending fulfilment of bail conditions.

Notwithstanding this, some people with ulterior motives have continuously sponsored false stories likening detention in EFCC facilities to being held in dungeons where torture and other forms of human rights abuses are commonplace.

The Commission however prides itself as meeting the highest possible professional standards in all its operations. Such unprofessional practices are not only outlawed in EFCC, they are regarded as criminal and anyone who engages in them, risks severe sanctions, including administrative reprimand and criminal prosecution.

EFCC has arguably, the best holding facilities of all law enforcement and security agencies in Nigeria. To prove this to sceptics, Commission on Thursday, 25th August, 2016, threw its facilities in Abuja, open for inspection by journalists from all media persuasions, including those who had unwittingly helped to propagate false notions about detention in the EFCC.

The media men saw things firsthand and freely interacted and conducted interview with suspects of their own choosing. They also toured the clinic attached to the cells, fully manned and run 24 hours round-the-clock by two qualified medical doctors, nurses and other health professionals. Among the other medical and diagnostic facilities, is a dedicated ambulance.

The journalists also saw the meals served the suspects, which are sourced from the EFCC Staff Canteen. Those who prefer relatives to bring their meals from home, are so obliged. At the end of the tour, one reporter described the detention facilities as ‘A guest house for the big boys’.

Acting Chairman, Ibrahim Magu, however threw a challenge to the reporters: “If anyone of you think all these have been arranged, you are welcome to come at anytime you chose, to spend time with us and see for yourself (you can even spend some days in the cell); see how EFCC carries out investigation, arrest, interrogation and if you want, be detained as long as you say, in any of our facilities across the country. You don’t need to give us prior notice of your coming. You can even arrange it as a group of reporters if you don’t want to come alone.” He must be truly confident in EFCC’s detention facilities.

The over 30 journalists drawn from print, electronic and online platforms, said they would seriously consider the offer

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/see-suspects-beg-judges-remand-efcc-cells/

Frantisek Hadrava thought driving to work for 14 minutes was too much, so he built a plane to cut the commute by half.

The `vampira’ which is an ultra-light plane built based on the U.S design called Mini-Max by the 45 years old Hadrava who is a locksmith.

The plane has an open cockpit, propeller powered by a 3-cylinder engine made by Czech firm Verner, and maximum speed of 146 km (91 miles) an hour.

It cost between 3,700 Euros and 4,200 dollars to build, Hadrava said.

Early in the morning, Hadrava flew his usual path through the forested hilly foothills of the Sumava Mountains for his 6 a.m. shift at Drevostroj, a small factory in the town of Ckyne.

He lands on a meadow across the road from the factory, and then needs to push the plane across the road, leading to the German border to a parking lot outside the factory.

“It takes me about 12 to 14 minutes by car.

“By plane, it would take around 4 to 5 minutes if I flew directly, but I take a bit of a detour so that I don’t disturb people early in the morning.

“So it takes about 7 minutes,” he said.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/41954/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I wish to know more about a quote you used; ‘A woman who doesn’t know what is expected of her as a woman or wife” and what is expected of a woman in a relationship that will lead to marriage.

What are the dos and don’ts of a relationship? Please I really need help.



Lynda





Dear Lynda,

Relationship is a chain of exquisite threads; each strand, embedded with its peculiar complications that must however be harmonized, if the chain is to stay appealing and firm.

For it to be in perfect shape, every member of each strand must first grow the determination to remain within the family fold.

As with every organization; one party has to learn to work extra hard for its unity and sustainability. Usually, it is this selfless member of the group that holds the chain together. Without a hook, no matter how beautiful a chain is, it remains un-wearable.

This is the role of a woman in a relationship; whether dating or married. She is the one who has been equipped by Mother Nature to play the role of the cement in a relationship. Apart from being the woman, wife and mother of the relationship; she is the public relations officer, the politician, the front desk person, the ambassador, minister of home affairs, the teacher, the moral barometer of her family, the trouble shooter between all parties that make up her family, the prayer warrior and intercessor between God and her family. She is also the shocker absorber, the think tank of the family. So the role of the woman goes beyond cooking and house keeping.

Therefore, if a woman isn’t proactive, her family suffers because she has to think for everybody to make the wheels of the home rotate very well. So as a girlfriend, you have to go beyond frivolities to reality. While every woman would be a girlfriend to a man at one time or the other in her life; not every woman will be a wife or remain married because of the qualities required to keep a home.

A woman in a relationship, no matter her marital status, must be patient, selfless, tolerant, understanding, supportive even when she doesn’t completely agree, be funny to encourage every member of the family to relax and build wonderful memories they will take away into their own homes, be firm when the need arises and still have time to be a woman by being romantic to remain relevant in the life of her man.

She must know without sentiments, who comes first in her scale of preference always. Most women, once married often make the costly mistake of neglecting their husbands once they begin to have children by transferring all their affection, attention and care to them leaving their husbands in the cold. This is why most men find solace in the cocoon of another woman’s bosom. Unfortunately, once a woman makes the mistake of sweeping her husband into the waiting hands of another woman more desperate to have him than his wife, it becomes difficult to wean the man of the warmth of this other woman because she is giving him the attention and services the woman at home is neglecting to do.

Every wise woman must know that without the husband, there will be no children or home for that matter. Therefore, she must keep the husband as her focal point of attention because if the man decides to stray; the entire family goes into crisis. Besides, the children will one day leave the home to begin families of their own. If she failed to carry her husband along when she was nursing the children, she will have problems integrating with him after the children go away.

This is why so many women, advanced in age are unhappy and grouchy at that important time in their lives when they should be enjoying the company and companionship of their husbands. Too late, most women who forgot to prioritize their affection while growing their children wake up one morning to find out, they have lost their husbands to other things like women, drinks, friends and social outings.

A wise woman must never forget the reason she left her family to become a member of another family: her man on whose authority and influence she became a wife and mother. No matter how busy she gets, she must make out time to be wife and friend to her husband. She must learn to prepare her home for the second honeymoon-when all the children would have left her nest to begin lives of their own.

No matter how busy she gets with the children and task of sustaining her family, she must always celebrate her man with everything that makes her first a woman and then a wife. She must constantly upgrade her looks to remind the man of the woman she was when they met thereby keeping alive the flame of their passion as well as give him her unconditional respect as his wife. A woman who makes the habit of disrespecting her man or has mastered the habit of nagging him at the slightest opportunity leaves the man with no choice but to find other sources of happiness.

A woman must make her home, a wonderful oasis for her man to come to anytime. Her role as wife doesn’t begin and end in the kitchen or bedroom. It is all encompassing. When she is not around for a day; the whole family must miss something actual about the woman of the house. When a mother leaves home and nobody misses her absence, she has completely lost it.

Many career women have developed the habit of using money to buy the affection of their children and husbands. Money is good in a marriage but isn’t the essential ingredient that oils its wheel of progress. As the homemaker, cradle builder and bridge between father and children, a woman must give all of herself to her family without reserve. She must be the one both the children and husband come to when they have issues. Wisdom demands she must put herself in the position to be a problem solver to all of them else friends of her family members will take over her position and destroy her home through wrong advices and influences.

Taking into cognizance that nobody is perfect; that we are all defect from the manufacturer’s table, a woman who wants to remain a wife must never do or say anything that will make anybody disrespect her husband. Even when she has reasons to be extremely upset with him, she should refrain from engaging her man in a war of words when there is an audience; the children inclusive. Every matter between the two of them should be argued and resolved in the bedroom; where she has the right to say whatever she likes to him without reservations.

A good woman and wife is also the one who knows how to project positively the image of her husband among his friends and family. She is also the kind of woman who knows how to wiggle her way out of issues involving her in-laws. The truth is, every wife will become a mother-in-law and sister-in-law one day. what she wouldn’t want the wife of her son or brother do to her, she shouldn’t dish it to her own in-laws either. As long as humans exist, there will always be issues. Once the daughter-in-law recognizes the fact that she too isn’t perfect, the easier it becomes to gloss over the many faults of her in-laws.

If a woman can accommodate the imperfection of her own mother and other females in her own family; there is no reason why she should not understand the defects in other people. This is because without the efforts of the mother-in-law on the man she came to marry, she won’t have a home and the children she loves so much. Difficult as it is to love certain people, every woman must make the effort to love her in-laws for both the peace of her mind and the well being of her husband as well as the children whose family the in-laws she is fighting are.

A wise wife and mother must make whatever sacrifice is required to insure the future of her own immediate family through prayers. Sometimes, it isn’t always convenient to wake up at certain hours of the night to pray but most marital battles are fought and won on bent knees and not through fighting or nagging.

Therefore, to be make a marriage work, takes the quintessence of the woman; it is either that or nothing. The magic of marriage; is for a woman to stay in relationship with her man at all times, no matter the weather of the day.

Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/41868/

In a war-torn Aleppo in Syria, a baby was given birth in an emergency cesarean section, after a bomb in an airstrike seriously injured the mother on her way to the hospital.

According to CNN reports and footage, the baby’s mother, Mayissa’s arm and leg were broken and she was in shock as doctors remove inch-long pieces of shrapnel from her body.

“As doctors pull the baby from her gashed abdomen, dread rushes into the operating room.

“Her baby is silent; white as the tile. “Is his heart beating?” asks a person in the room. “No. I’m sorry,” a doctor responds.” the CNN report said.

While the baby’s umbilical cord was still attached, the Doctors pumped his chest, hoping to start the minutes-old heart.

“They are resolute as they put what looks like a small baster in the child’s nose and mouth, hoping to suction out any fluid blocking his breathing.

“A flutter in his umbilical cord is the first sign of life. His heart is working.” the report said.

A doctor had to grip him by the feet and thumps his bottom, which appeared to be a rough thing to do to a new born.

As human color slowly flows through the baby’s body, he was laid down, and he cried which reveals a great sign of life. His mother, too, survived the ordeal.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/war-torn-syria-baby-pulled-injured-mothers-womb/

Former governor of Edo, Prof. Oserheimen Osunbor, said Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) declared him disloyal his refusing to share the state’s resources to party leaders.

Osunbor, who defected to the All Progressives Congress (APC) at the 2015 general elections, disclosed this at APC’s campaign rally in Iruekpen, Esan West Local Government Area, for the Sept. 10 governorship election in the state.

He described the PDP as an "evil party", whose interest was not for the development of the state, but to share the resources among party leaders.

He said that such mentality of the party was reason for the defection of prominent sons and daughters of the state to the APC, adding that PDP was a "sinking ship".

"Evil people have hijacked the PDP; the party is a sinking ship, which is why I have told my people to act like the former president, Obasanjo, by tearing their PDP membership cards.

"I have told them to join the party that is interested in their welfare and the overall development of the state.

"PDP has no interest in what becomes of the state and the people, but their pockets.

"This was why they said I was not loyal because I refused to share the money meant to develop the state while I was the governor. That was why they started fighting me.

"The PDP, whether at the local, state or federal level can't do anything for us, it is only the APC that can make us a proud people through development," Osunbor stated.

Addressing the rally, the APC governorship candidate, Mr Godwin Obaseki, said that Edo people, having produced great sons and daughters in various sectors of the polity, deserved the best.

He said that he was in the best position to govern and offer the people the best, beind part of Oshiomhole's success story.

Obaseki promised to not only continue with the laudable projects of the Adams Oshiomhole government, but to take it to another level through job creation and human empowerment.

70 members of the PDP defected to the APC at the rally.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/pdp-labelled-disloyal-refusing-share-money-osunbor/

By Mustapha Ogunsakin

Lawrence Nomanyag­bon Anini, Nigeria’s most notorious armed robber, was born sometime in 1960. He terrorised the old Bendel State, especially its capital, Benin City in the 1980s. By 1986, his robbery exploits had reached such a terrible level that it became a national issue.

He operated along with his lieutenant, Monday Osunbor, and others. However, one striking feature in the Anini reign of terror was police complicity. It was soon discovered that the Anini gang had insiders within the Police hierarchy George Iyamu, a Deputy Superintendent of Police, was their arrowhead.

Anini, dreadfully called ‘The Law’ or ‘Ovbigbo’, was born in a village about 20 miles from Be­nin City. He migrated to Benin at an early age, learned to drive and became a skilled taxi driver within a few years.

He became known in Benin motor parks as a man who could control the varied competing interests among motor park touts and operators. He later took to criminal acts in the city and soon became a driver and transporter for gangs, criminal godfathers and thieves. Soon after, he decided to create his own gang. They started out as car hijackers, bus robbers and bank thieves.

Gradually, he extended his criminal acts to other towns and cities far north and east of Benin. The complicity of the police is believed to have enhanced Anini’s reign of terror in 1986.

Memory Lane: Lawrence Anini, Nigeria’s Most Notorious Armed Robber
Lawrence-Anini & co robbers
Early that year, two members of his gang were prosecuted over an earlier under-the-table ‘agree­ment’ with the Police to destroy evidence against the gang members.

The incident, and Anini’s view of Police betrayal, is believed to have spurred retaliatory actions by Anini. In August, 1986, a bank robbery linked to Anini was reported in which a police officer and others were killed.

That same month, two officers on duty were shot at a barricade while trying to stop Anini’s car. During a span of three months, he was known to have killed nine police officers.

In an operation in August of 1986, the Anini team struck at First Bank, Sabongida-Ora, where they carted away N2, 000. But although the amount sto­len was seen as chicken feed, they left the scene with a trail of blood. Many persons were killed.

On September 6, same year, the Anini gang snatched a Peu­geot 504 car from Albert Otoe, the driver of an Assistant Inspector General of Police, Christopher Omeben. In snatching the car, they killed the driver and went to hide his corpse somewhere. It was not until three months later that the skeleton of the driver was spotted 16 kilometers away from Benin, along the Benin-Ag­bor highway.

A day after this at­tack, Anini, operating in a Passat car believed to have been stolen, also effected the snatching of another Peugeot 504 car near the former FEDECO office, in Benin.Two days after, Anini’s men killed two policemen in Orhio­won Local Government of the state. Still in that month, three different robbery attacks, all pointing to Anini’s involvement, took place. They include the murder of Frank Unoarumi, a former employee of the Nigerian Observer newspapers; the killing of Mrs. Remi Sobanjo, a chartered accountant, and the stealing of the Mercedes Benz car in Benin, of the Ughelli monarch, the Ovie.

Before September 1986 drew to a close, Anini, now an elusive dread, struck at a gas station along Wire Road, Benin, where he stole a substantial part of the day’s sales. He shot the Station’s attendant and gleefully started spraying his booty along the road for people to pick.

The height of Anini’s exploits, however, took place on October 1, 1986, the Independence Day when the state’s Commissioner of Police, Casmir Igbokwe was ambushed by the gang in Benin, followed by a hail of bullets. The police boss survived the attack with serious injuries. Earlier that day also, the Anini men had gunned down a policeman with­in the city

Also, on October 21 of same year, the Anini gang terminated the life of a Benin-based medi­cal doctor, A.O Emojeve. They gunned him down along Textile Mill Road, in Benin. Not done, Anini and his gang went and robbed the Agbor branch of the African Continental Bank and carted away about N46, 000. A day after the operation, Anini, The Law, turned to a ‘Father Christmas’ as he threw wads of naira on the ground for market men and women to pick at a vil­lage near Benin.

Anini’s image thus loomed larger than life, dwarfing those of Ishola Oyenusi, the king of robbers in the 1970s and Youpelle Dakuro, the army deserter who masterminded the most vicious daylight robbery in Lagos in 1978, in which two policemen were killed. Anini spear-headed a four-month reign of terror between August and December 1986. He also reportedly wrote numerous letters to media hous­es using political tones of Robin Hood to describe his criminal acts.

Worried by the seeming delusiveness of Anini and his gang members, the military Presi­dent, General Ibrahim Baban­gida then ordered a massive manhunt for the kingpin and his fellow robbers. The police thus went after them; combed every part of Bendel State where they were reportedly operating and living. The whole nation was gripped with fear of the robbers and their daredevil exploits.

However, Police manhunt failed to stop their activities; the more they were hunted, the more intensified their activities became. Some of the locals in the area even began to tell stories of their invincibility and for a while, it felt like they were never going to be caught.

However, at the conclusion of a meeting of the Armed Forces Ruling Council in October 1986, General Babangida turned to the Inspector- General of Police, Etim Inyang, and asked, ‘My friend, where is Anini?’. At about this time, Nigerian newspapers and journals were also publish­ing various reports and editori­als on the ‘Anini Challenge’, the ‘Anini Saga’, the ‘Anini Factor’, ‘Lawrence Anini – the Man, the Myth’, ‘Anini, Jack the Ripper’, and ‘Lawrence Anini: A Robin Hood in Bendel’. The Guardian asked, emphatically, in one of its reports: ‘Will they ever find Ani­ni, “The Law”?’

His Arrest

Finally, it took the courage of Superintendent of Police, Kayode Uanreroro to bring the Anini reign of terror to an end. On December 3, 1986, Uanreroro caught Anini at No 26, Oyem­wosa Street, opposite Iguodala Primary School, Benin City, in company with six women. Acting on a tip-off from the locals, the policeman went straight to the house where Anini was hiding and apprehended him with very little resistance.

Uanreroro led a crack 10-man team to the house, knocked on the door of the room, and Anini himself, clad in under­pants, opened the door. “Where is Anini,” the police officer quickly enquired.

Dazed as he was caught off guard and having no escape route, Anini all the same tried to be smart. “Oh, Anini is under the bed in the inner room”. As he said it, he made some moves to walk past Uanreroro and his team. In the process, he shoved and head-butted the police officer but it was an exercise in futility.

Uanreroro promptly reached for his gun, stepped hard on An­ini’s right toes and shot at his left ankle. Anini surged forward but the policemen took hold of him and put him in a sitting position.

They then pumped more bullets into his shot leg and almost sev­ered the ankle from his entire leg. Already, anguished by the ex­cruciating pains, the policemen asked him, “Are you Anini?” And he replied, “My brother, I won’t deceive you; I won’t tell you lie, I’m Anini.”

He was from there taken to the police command headquarters where the state’s Police Commissioner, Parry Osayande, was waiting. While in the police net, Anini who had poor command of English and could only communicate in pid­gin, made a whole lot of revelations.

He disclosed, for instance that Osunbor, who had been arrested earlier, was his deputy, saying that Osunbor actually shot and wounded the former po­lice boss of the state, Akagbosu.

Anini was shot in the leg, transferred to a military hospi­tal, and had one of his legs am­putated. When Anini’s hideout was searched, police recovered assorted charms, including the one he usually wore around his waist during “operations”.

It was instructive that after Anini was captured and dispossessed of his charms, the man who terrorized a whole state and who was supposed to be fearless suddenly became remorseful, making confessions. This was against public expectation of a daredevil hood­lum who would remain defiant to the very end.

Shortly after the arrest of Anini and co, the dare-devil rob­bers began to revealthe roles played by key police officers and men, in the aiding and abetting of criminals in Bendel State and the entire country.

Anini particularly revealed that Iyamu, who was the most senior police offi­cer shielding the robbers, would reveal police secrets to them and then, give them logistical supports such as arms, to carry out robbery operations. He further revealed that Iyamu, after each operation, would join them in sharing the loot.

It was further exposed how Iyamu planned to kill Christopher Omeben, an As­sistant Inspector-General of Po­lice in charge of Intelligence and Investigation. But Iyamu was later to be disappointed as the assailants dispatched to eliminate Omeben were only able to kill his driver, Otue, a sergeant. Iyamu, whom the robbers fondly referred to as ‘Baba’, reportedly had choice buildings in Benin City; proof of how he invested the loot he obtained from men of the underworld.

Due to the amputation of his leg, Anini was confined to a wheelchair throughout his trial. Iyamu, on his part, denied ever knowing and collaborating with Anini, but Anini The Law furi­ously retorted, “You are a shameless liar!” Anini had accused him before Justice James Omo-Agege in the High Court of Justice in Benin City. Of the 10 police offi­cers Anini implicated, five were convicted.

The robbery suspects, including Iyamu, were sentenced to death. But in passing his judgement, Justice Omo-Agege remarked, “Anini will forever be remembered in the history of crime in this country, but it would be of unblessed memory. Few people if ever, would give the name to their children.” Their execution took place on March 29, 1987.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/memory-lane-lawrence-anini-nigerias-notorious-armed-robber/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I am in big trouble with a capital T. My marriage is just one month old and the problems already manifesting are more than I can handle on my own. To add to my complications, I am six weeks pregnant which means I cannot even abandon the marriage at least, not until the baby arrives.

My situation is made more complex because I cannot confide in my parents because from the very beginning my parents, especially my mother didn’t hide her dislike for him. She told me he was too smooth to be true and that I should investigate him the more.

I thought my mother’s objections had to do with the fact that I met him about three months ago. Knowing that my mother’s idea of a good relationship is one that has lasted for over a year before talking about marriage, I ignored her anxieties and told her literally to mind her business.

This is why I cannot go to her with this problem. My elder brother, I would have gone to is mummy’s son to the core. He would immediately call my mother to narrate everything to her and my father. This is why I need your help as well as that of the public.

It actually started on the eve of our wedding when I chanced on my husband and his friends having a drug cocktail in the house. He said he didn’t want a big bachelor’s eve party; that he just wanted to stay with his very close circle of friends at home.

But I forgot the bag containing my shoes, purse and accessories for the wedding in his house. I discovered it very late at about 8p.m. I tried calling him to bring it to my place but his phone wasn’t going through so I decided to make a quick rush to the house to pick up the items. Since he and his friends were not expecting me, they were surprised when I came in and saw them doing their thing.

I knew nothing I said that night would make any impact on him since he was as high as the friends. I took my things and went out without saying a word. It was not until the next morning we spoke to each other.

Since he didn’t make any reference to what happened that night, I decided to ignore it so we can have the wedding. At least he didn’t take it the night of our wedding so I didn’t push it or mention it.

But I discovered that after a week, he would sneak into our guest room to take the drug after which he would be hyper active. Also, strange people would come home after which he would leave the house without telling me.

Before the incident of last week, I sneaked his phone while he was busy with his bath to transfer to my phone some of his messages. I was shocked to my marrow with the things I read in his messages. Not only is he a user but he is a major distributor as well.

He is also into Yahoo scam. I saw a picture of him and this lady old enough to be his mum; he got married to in London. He is supposed to be in Nigeria on a business and the woman is beginning to wonder why he hasn’t come back. The name he gave the woman is different from his real name. The woman is of the belief that he is from the North, while he is actually an Egba man.

Agatha, what will I tell people if he is caught and displayed on television as a drug baron? I haven’t dared to confront him because I’m not sure of what he is capable of doing to me. With the kinds of people that come and go from my house, he can easily erase me from the face of the earth. This is why I haven’t said anything to him. Besides where will I say I got the picture of his wedding to that white woman from?

Please this is my dilemma. Do I keep quiet or cry out? Do I stay or quit? Time is of essence to me.

Omoduni





Dear Omoduni,

As his wife you have the responsibility to confront him with your suspicions first before providing him with the evidences of your findings. There is no way you can gloss over the things you found out; to do that would be like stepping on a live wire.

The trick is not to be confrontational. At least he would not ask you how you found out about his drugs habit and business because you chanced on them on him and his friends on the eve of your wedding.

The fact that you saw him and his friends taking the drugs makes it easier for you to begin, you can then premise your discussions on that incident. There is no way he can deny what you have evidence of such.

The only question he would likely ask is why you did not say something about that incident before now. And it is the same query I have for you. Why did you not say anything on that day? Why did you keep quiet until now? Did it not occur to you that anything that has to do with drugs would contaminate the future you want with him? The truth you did not realise then is this: You will never be happy in this marriage because of this deadly habit of his. Drug business may appear lucrative but it has this shadow of darkness that envelops it as well. The same thing goes for fraud.

He is duping that woman he married abroad of her hard earned money. By keeping quiet, you would also be helping him to further hurt that woman.

What you saw was too grave for you to ignore back then. No matter what time it was to your wedding day, the ideal thing would have been for you to challenge him with a view of ironing out the matter before your wedding appointment. Honestly, keeping quiet about it, gave him the impetus to continue to do drugs in the house and allow people of all sorts of shading character to come to his abode.

You did not do yourself or you coming baby any good by ignoring that incident. Imagine your baby growing up in a home where his father does drugs and is among the kinds of people you described. What do you think would happen to such a child? Marriage is a life-long business which must be protected against anything that would prematurely terminate its lifespan.

Besides, it is always easier to walk away from a relationship, than a marriage. Until the moment vows are exchanged, either party can still walk away. Whatever informed your decision to go ahead despite what God allowed you to witness must make you find the strength to find a solution.

And if truly he is legally married to another woman, irrespective of her age and the country it took place, your marriage can easily be termed illegal; making nonsense of that thing you tried to prevent in the first place.

This is the reason you must confront your fears of what people, especially your family, would say about you before the situation in your home goes beyond what you can quietly manage on your own.

If he becomes violent refusing to say anything, go to his people with the evidences you have, including the bit about him being married to another woman. Although chances are that his family members know one or two things about his businesses, but telling them is only to incident the case with them, should the Police catch up with him.

Your next bus-stop is your parents’. No matter how unpleasant this is going to be for you, please tell them. This is not just an ordinary marital issue. What you are talking about has criminal implications. Police may already be on his trail. Do not wait until he is arrested before crying out because by then, nobody would believe you were not in the know of his businesses from the beginning before you yielded to his marriage proposal. People would naturally assume you married him for the money and when you really think about it, meeting and marrying him within three months compromises you in all these. He is into drugs and fraud; these are not just local crimes but international crimes the world is fighting to stop. It is way beyond your league.

It is the responsibility of your parents to decide if they want you to continue in this marriage or pull you out now that the issue has not become full blown.

I lack the right to advise you to stay or quit. It is the decision of you and your family.

But remember: This case has gone beyond sentiments. You got yourself into this because you were blinded by emotions; do not make that mistake again.



Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/husband-drugs-fraud/

One James Omale on Monday dragged his wife, Yetunde before an Igando Customary Court sitting in Lagos state for alleged infidelity.

The 41-year-old man told the president of the court, Mr. Adegboyega Omilola, that his wife must go to his village and swear an oath to proof her fidelity.

Speaking before the court, Omale said “She left her matrimonial home for a month to an unknown destination.

“In my tradition, when a woman leaves her matrimonial home and wants to come back, she must first go to our village to swear that no man has slept with her.

“My wife left my house without my consent and when she returned, she refused to go to my village instead, she rushed to court to ask for divorce.”

“My wife knows that she is guilty of adultery that is why she is afraid to go to my village to swear,” the self-employed man said, describing his wife as an ingrate.

He said, “I sponsored Yetunde from her 100 level to final year. After her graduation, I lost my banking job and she told me she was not interested in the marriage again.”

Omale begged the court to dissolve the two-year-old marriage.

On her part, 29-year-old Yetunde told the court that her husband asked her to go to his village to make sacrifice.

The mother of one said, “My husband tells me to travel to his village in Benue State to make sacrifice and swear to an oath to prove that no other man had slept with me. He tells me that he always sees a man making love to me in his dream. His elder brother is a herbalist and his wife is currently mad, while his second brother’s wife has been sick for years without solution.

“They cast spell on the wife of his other elder brother who is now a prostitute. I will never be a victim of their evil plan.

“My husband always leaves the house without my knowledge and he will never care to call me. Because of his bad behaviour, I went to stay in my parent’s house,” Yetunde added, begging the court to dissolve the marriage as she was no longer in love.

The court president adjourned the case to September 6 for mention.

-dailypost

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/wife-must-swear-village-shrine-prove-fidelity-man-tells-court/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

There is a girl [woman] I have a crush on and wishing we would end up getting married. I am 30 years of age and an engineer by profession. I am currently doing my masters programme. She has finished her masters. She is also an engineer but unlike me, she is yet to secure an appointment. We met about two months ago but my problem with her is that she acts funny at times. One day we are the best of friends and another day she goes all cold on me to the extent of not picking my calls.

Although I have not made known to her what my real intentions are but she knows about my soft spot for her. She actually started her funny attitude after I declared my likeness for her. This behaviour of hers has made it difficult for me to make my intentions known to her because she might just start avoiding me completely.

Agatha, I do not really know how to approach her so as not to embarrass myself and as well scare her away from me completely. Sometimes I think part of her problem has to do with pride due to her level of education or just doing the normal things women do, play tough before agreeing to a man’s request.

Kindly assist me on how to approach her because I would really wish to marry her if she pays me attention.



Worried Guy.

Dear Worried Guy,

To desire to have her in your life permanently means you have seen some very rare qualities in her which are absent in the women that have graced your life so far.

Is not, there a saying that the more rare a qualities of gold, the more precious it is to those who want it? Therefore it follows that there is always a price of patience and perseverance that must accompany something very precious.

Success does not come easy in life. A determined mind must cross so many obstacles to get to that desired goal. If you really want this woman so desperately in your life, you must develop the thickness of skin to overlook her current disposition towards you.

The fact that she is behaving this way does not necessarily mean she is arrogant about her educational accomplishment; after all you are not without the same scale of education as she has. So why would she want to show off to you? To assume that is her reason for doing what she is doing is a restricted way of thinking and is completely unfair to her, since you don’t even know anything about her past as well as her experiences with men.

So many things could make a woman wary of going into a fresh relationship. For instance, she may just be recuperating from the after effect of a relationship that she has invested so much in. To jump therefore into another relationship may not be on her menu for now. She would certainly require from any man who wants her, certain measure of sympathy and tolerance to vacate whatever bitterness she has accumulated from her not too pleasant experiences in the hands of men.

She also may be the kind of woman who has persistently fallen into the wrong hands of men who only want a woman’s body.

You must also appreciate one fact; that she may currently be in a very profitable relationship. Other men are not blind to the qualities you see in her.

Just as you desire her for those qualities so would other men. Simply because you are single does not mean she is. To think that way would be very presumptuous of you.

In addition, when a relationship goes sour, the woman is the one who suffers the most because apart from missing the affection of the man, she is the one whose body suffers the wears and tears of intimacy. For every unplanned pregnancy and abortion that takes place in her life, the lifespan of her womb depreciates. Some women never recover from such experiences. If at the end of the day, the man for whom she procured the abortion ends up not marrying her, she becomes the sole victim of that entire experience and decision.

These are some of the reasons some women put stiff obstacles on the path of men wanting to get close to them.

Rather than begin your quest to win her with calling her names, first make the effort of getting to know her by becoming her friend.

On the days she is quite friendly, ask her why she goes completely cold on you at times. It might be her cue to open to you. Knowing you are willing to get to know her beyond the façade of the face she presents to the world might warm her heart enough to share her past with you. For women who know how to think, love is not the first thing a woman looks out for in a man. Rather, she looks out for friendship, a man who can make her talk about those things hidden deep in her heart, who can make her laugh, forget her challenges, cry her heart out over those things she has no solutions to, make her smile even when she is hurting so much and making her appreciate who she is.

What she may really be in need of is a friend who would make her feel all these things. Love is woven into friendship; by the time she is relaxed with you, looks forward to seeing you and brightens up at hearing your voice, then you know she is ready to feel love again.

Your concern now should be what is responsible for the way she is currently behaving. Once you know, it would be easy for her to see how much you want to make her happy. This way you would have allayed whatever fear of insincerity she may think you have towards her.

Good luck


More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/dont-understand-woman/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



My husband left my children and I when they were still very young. He left us to marry his former girlfriend, the one he left to marry me.

From that point, my children, two girls and a boy, have been on our own. It was very tough, but God saw us through.

My son, the second child of the family always wanted to be a medical doctor. I practically sold all my gold to assist with his dreams.

Fortunately, he got a scholarship from his father’s elder brother in his second year in medical school. This man paid for everything including his books, cloths and other allowances.

Now he is married, but I don’t like the woman he is married to. They met while he was in medical school. From the very first day he brought her home, I have resisted his choice but he ignored me to marry her.

I simply don’t like her person at all. She has never been rude to me, but I dislike her with a passion.

I would have felt more comfortable if he had married the daughter of my best friend, the woman who stood by me during my difficult times. We had this arrangement between us that her last daughter and my son will end up marrying each other.

His refusal to marry her has caused a big gap in our relationship.

There is nothing I haven’t done to separate both of them.

Now she has become so rude to me to the extent that when I go to their house, she doesn’t bother to entertain me except to cook my meals, her children too don’t play with me as they used to, making it obvious that their mother has been telling them about me.

I have tried talking to my son to let her go and give me the joy of having my friend’s child as my daughter-in-law but he won’t hear of it.

Besides as my only son, I want him to marry more than a wife so that I can have more grandchildren through him. After all, his father left me to marry the one he dated before meeting me. I suffered to bring them up. It wasn’t easy for me but this woman he calls his wife isn’t making him to listen to my wishes.

Please help me. I don’t know what to do to win back my son’s listening hears. His wife is evil.



Ayoka.







Dear Ayoka,



Allow your son and his wife to be. From all you have said, you appear to be the issue in this marriage since you failed to say what she has done to you precisely.

If she isn’t going out of her way to be friendly with you, you asked for it through your attitude towards her. In her shoes, would you subject yourself to the horrors of being in the company of a person who doesn’t like you?

That she is going out of her way to cook your meals, provide what you need shows that she isn’t a rude woman, just one who is avoiding a nasty situation.

She isn’t to blame if your son failed to honour whatever promises you and your friend made to each other. If your son didn’t approach her for a relationship, she would never have ended up as his wife. She ended up as your daughter-in-law because your son found something very special and precious in her.

Not many young women would put up with your kind of attitude towards her without her coming out smoking against you. If she is influencing her husband not to yield to you, she is not doing anything out of the ordinary. Every woman must take measure to protect her territory, which is what she is doing in her own way.

The fact that you had issues with the father of your children, doesn’t mean your son and his wife must suffer the same thing you suffered. Your husband left you and the children for reasons best known to him just as your son is determined to stay in his marriage to his wife.

For whatever reason, you are not being fair to your son and his wife. As a mother how would you feel if the mothers of the men that married your daughters are making life as difficult as you are brewing for another woman’s daughter? How would you feel if your sons-in-law decide to dump your daughters and marry other women? Come to think of it, how did you feel when your husband left you for his ex?

It is an act of undiluted cruelty to wish the same fate that befell you on your daughter-in-law. Is marrying your son such a crime? Is happiness forbidden to your son simply because you didn’t enjoy your marriage?

The choice to stay on to look after them was one you willingly decided to take. Back then, you had the option of leaving the children for your ex-husband to care for. After all, if his elder brother took on the responsibility of training your son through medical school, it shows that there was no draught of capable persons in that family.

If you persist in your attitude, you will end up losing this son. Remember, he is now a man of his own and educated enough to realise the harm of marrying more than one wife. Your daughter-in-law is very responsible, that is why she hasn’t bothered to confront you. And if she does, you would only have yourself to blame because even your son will not support you.

It is also important you change your attitude towards this woman for the sake of your latter years. A time would come when you would want and court the company of your grandchildren, these ones may not want to have anything to do with you again. If at this stage of your life, they are beginning to show indifference to your person, you can imagine the kind of relationship that awaits you when you are older than you are now?

Chances are their mother may not have put them to it. You and I know how children pick up negative signals with ease. Children these days are especially sensitive to things done to their mother. Their reaction is a way of communicating their displeasure over your attitude to their mother. They are just as capable of going a step further to confront you if they think it is necessary.

If you don’t like her at all, stop going to their house. This way you will save yourself the hassles of seeing her.

But what will you lose by being nice to her? From what you wrote, you do stand a better chance of gaining more from being nice to your son and his wife than fighting them.

Whatever she may have done, would you act like this if she were your daughter? As a woman and mother, you must learn the act of forgiveness. Whatever mistake or something your son and his wife may have done to you, let go. The beauty of being old is the wisdom it gives us to manage our affairs better.

If you are truthful, you will know that what you are doing or planning for your son is wrong. But you are pushing on out of your own buried pains and hurt when his father left you with three children. Although you didn’t say it, but deep down you are determined that no woman in the life of your son escapes the kind of pains you passed through. Even if he had married the daughter of your friend, with your kind of pent up anger, you still would have found reasons to complain.

There won’t be peace in your life and son’s home until you change your mind and attitude towards life generally.

To do this right, there is the need for you to take that essential trip back into time, go back to your own marriage. Ask yourself that question you have been unable to ask all these years. Why did he leave you? This question holds the key to your peace of mind.

That your children turned out successful has answered the question of your suitability as a good mother. Doubtless, only a good mother can make the kind of sacrifices you made for your children.

But to make your happiness complete, bury all the disappointments of your failed marriage. Your daughter-in-law and children are innocent of what their father did to you.

Even if this woman is making a mistake, your place is to help and correct her. If God had wanted your choice of a wife for your son, nobody would be able to stop it, therefore allow this couple to be happy.

The best revenge in life is to succeed and be happy. Whatever reasons your ex may have had in abandoning you and the children, don’t give him the last laugh by being a grouch. Even if it weren’t the reason he left you, he would eventually tell the children that he left when he couldn’t take anymore of your attitude.

Even if it was his reason, disappoint him by changing for the better.

Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/son-wont-take-girl-want/

A pregnant British woman with no history of drug abuse died of acute heroin poisoning in a hotel room in Ghana, an inquest heard today.
Chairmain Adusah, 41, from Arbroath, Angus, was discovered in the bath by staff at Mac-Dic Royal Plaza Hotel in Koforidua, where she had been staying with her Ghanaian husband, Eric.

Mr Adusah, 28, a Christian pastor, was charged with his wife's murder in Ghana but the case collapsed due to lack of evidence - and an inquest has now been held at Essex Coroner's Court.

Mr Adusah was present at the hearing today along with Mrs Adusah's mother, Linda Speirs and stepfather Peter.

The court heard that the couple had checked into the hotel together after travelling to the country for work connected to Mr Adusah's church.

The pastor checked out of the hotel on March 18, 2015, and unverified allegations have since been made that Mr Adusah told staff not to disturb his wife, who was due to leave two days later. When Mrs Adusah failed to check out, hotel staff checked the room and discovered her body in the bathtub.

Authorities in Ghana discovered heroin, codine and morphine in her system. An interim autopsy report issued the week after she was found indicated a heroin overdose as a cause of death.

Doctor Charlotte Randall carried out a second post-mortem examination when Mrs Adusah's body was returned to the UK.
She told the court that she had found traces of heroin, codine and morphine but no evidence of assault or prolonged drug use.

Dr Randall said she could not ascertain the cause of death from her findings but did accept the findings from the earlier examination held in Ghana.

Mrs Abdusah's body had remained in Ghana while the case against husband was on-going but was later returned to Britain.

The pastor, a leader of Global Light Revival Ministries Church in North London, told the court: 'I have no idea what happened, I don't know how it got into her body, I never seen her do anything like that'.

Detective Chief Inspector Stuart Smith from Essex Police confirmed that there was no drug paraphernalia found at the scene or signs of how it was administered.

The attorney general in Ghana claimed there was no evidence connecting Mr Abdusah to his wife's death.

Mr Smith added: 'Mr Adusah was arrested and charged in Ghana and spent a number of months on remand there and on bail and they found no direct evidence linking him to the death of the deceased.

'In Britain we would call that insufficient evidence, I believe that it the correct decision.'

Senior Coroner for Essex Caroline Beasley-Muarry dismissed conclusions of unlawful killing, suicide or an accident due to lack of evidence.

She said: 'Because of the insufficient evidence for any of those conclusions I shall record an open verdict. We shall never quote know what happened there just is not evidence.'

Mrs Beasley-Muarry said this was a difficult and unusual case.

Addressing the family, she said: 'She [Mrs Adusah] clearly was a striking woman, attractive and with a bright future in front of her and was clearly much loved and I would again like to express my sympathies to you.'

Mr Adusah broke down in tears as he left the inquest, surrounded by parishioners. Mr and Mrs Speirs spoke outside the court following the conclusion.

Commenting on whether her daughter could have used heroine, she said: 'She would not have done it, we know that for a fact, she just would not have done it.'

Mr Speirs said the inquest was 'done well'. Mrs Speirs added: 'It didn't go into great details but we know, we know the rest.'

Mr Adusah was unavailable for comment after the hearing. His church in Tottenham describes itself as a growing international, multi-cultural Christian church and also has a branch in Edinburgh.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/pregnant-british-woman-no-history-drug-use-died-heroin-overdose-ghana-hotel-room/

After 16 years, it was a lick of honey that did it. The world’s longest hunger strike ended on Tuesday when an Indian human rights campaigner gave up her protest against state violence but pledged to continue the fight in the political arena.

Crinkling her face at the taste of food, Irom Sharmila, 44, from the troubled north-eastern state of Manipur, finished the fast she began in 2000 after the Malom massacre – when 10 people were reportedly killed by a government-run paramilitary group near the city of Imphal.

“I will never forget this moment,” said Sharmila, whose solo protest had become a symbol of Manipur’s resistance against state violence.

At the start, she vowed not to eat until the repeal of the Armed Forces Special Powers Act (AFSPA), which grants the military immunity from judicial scrutiny in disturbed areas. But years of fruitless struggle have driven her to try a different route.

Speaking to journalists on Tuesday, Sharmila said she wanted to topple Manipur’s incumbent chief minister, Okram Ibobi Singh, whom she accuses of presiding over years of insurgency and corruption.

Indian Activist Ends 16-Year Hunger Strike With A Lick Of Honey
Irom-Sharmila
“I’ve been the real embodiment of revolution,” she said. “I want to be chief minister now. I know nothing about politics and academia. My education is very, very low. Everything I have I will use for the positive, for society.”

Sitting on a plastic chair outside the Jawaharlal Nehru hospital, Sharmila burst into tears as she tasted honey for the first time in 16 years. During that time she had been fed only by drip while in police custody.

Doctors had told colleagues she would not survive for long without food or water. Now they fear that her body may struggle to cope, and have advised a liquid diet as she starts to eat and drink again.

Sharmila is charged with attempted suicide – a crime in India – and was granted bail on Tuesday afternoon by Judge L Tonsing at a court in Imphal after announcing her intention to break her hunger strike. In court, she refused to plead guilty to the charge, and insisted that she should be freed.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/09/indian-activist-irom-chanu-sharmila-ends-16-year-hunger-strike-lick-honey

Some of her supporters have expressed anger at her decision to break her fast before her goal was reached.

Tokpam Somorendra, who lost his son Shantikumar, in the Malom massacre, said: “She has not fought for herself, or for someone she knows, but for all of us. She has fought our struggle. For me, she is next to God. But why did she take this decision so suddenly?”

Speaking to reporters at her hospital bedside, Sharmila said: “Let them kill me, the way they killed Mahatma Gandhi with their blood … People remain negative towards me, they want to think of me with the tube, without any desires, just as a symbol of resistance. This is my right to choice. I have the right to be seen as a human being.”

The end of her hunger strike coincides with the 70th anniversary of the Quit India movement, Gandhi’s non-violent resistance against British colonisers in India. This timing was interpreted by some as a shrewd political move from Sharmila that would highlight what many see as the betrayal of Gandhi’s vision for a free and democratic post-independence India.

AFSPA was passed by a Congress party government under India’s first prime minister, Jawaharlal Nehru, but has been used by successive governments to squash separatist movements in many states. Addressing the current prime minister directly, Sharmila said: “I want to tell Narendra Modi: Mr Prime Minister, you may indulge in your violence. But as a civilisation we need non-violence, we need an India without this draconian law.”

Political parties have already made approaches to Sharmila’s friends, but she has said she does not know which party she will join, or whether she will run as an independent candidate.

“She is above politics,” said Somorendra. “She has already achieved so much in the last 16 years. Military violence has gone down because of her and the awareness she has raised. For 16 years, people can’t object to anything she has stood for. If she joins politics, opposition will come.”

Amnesty International said: “Irom Sharmila’s decision to break her hunger strike gives India another chance to start a dialogue and recognise how the AFSPA has alienated Manipur for over 35 years.”

More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/indian-activist-ends-16-year-hunger-strike-lick-honey/

Dear Agatha,



Within a decade of my marriage, I have had seven children because of my husband belongs to the school of those who doesn’t like using birth control.

According to him, being a Catholic, using any form of birth control would be going against his faith.

I almost died during the birth of my last child prompting the doctor to warn me against any attempt at getting pregnant again. He was even called and warned not to allow me get pregnant again if he valued my life.

The doctor advised us on the different birth control methods we could use. He told him that if he didn’t want me using any of the ones he explained; he could use condom because it has no effect whatever so ever on any of us. He recommended this after my husband argued against every method he suggested for us.

He Wants More Children After Seven
Auntie Agatha
When he was told I could die if I attempted to have another child, he grudgingly agreed to condom.

I didn’t know it was just a trick to escape from the prying eyes of the doctor.

My last child is now four months old. Apart from me not being ready because of the emotional stress I went through during this particularly difficult birth, my husband wants to resume sex without any form of protection.

Life. When I reminded him of the danger to my health; he replied that his mother gave birth to 11 children without any consequence to her health.

He said, being the only son of his mother, he intends having enough children to make her happy. Already I have four boys. He said he wants two more boys to make his sons six.

What is upsetting me the most is his insensitivity to my health. He doesn’t care about me at all. He makes me feel as if my only usefulness in his life is to make babies for him.

He has forgotten that I have a job to keep. Although I am a civil servant, the reason I have not been sacked as a result of my incessant maternity leaves, but it is also affecting my career as a public relations officer to my ministry.

My husband isn’t behaving as an educated man at all; he is a director in the federal civil service.

He reported me to our parish priest who rather than reprimand him on his unreasonable demand told me that the only form of birth controls recognized by the church were the billing or withdrawal methods. My argument that these methods didn’t work with me wasn’t even considered.

The way it is, there is no way I can sleep with him without any form of protection. The reason I am writing you is to ask if it is alright if I go outside him to insert a birth control that I feel is good for me.



Josephine.





Dear Josephine,

Your situation is very complex. Frankly, you cannot find a solution to this problem outside your husband. Granted it is your life and body that are at stake here, to go against his will and adopt a form of birth control will only worsen the situation between the two of you.

No matter how unreasonable his demands are, don’t be tempted to, unless you resolve the problem between the two of you because he could easily accuse you of infidelity or disobeying his orders.

The only way out of it is to use the medical report by the doctor to convince the church that you need protection too. There is no church that will willingly offer the life of its member to death just to preserve a doctrine. Once the church knows of the medical implication to your health, I’m sure they will find a way around the problem.

If the priest is adamant, report him to a higher authority vested with the power to take a decisive decision on the matter. Back up your position with the medical reports given you by the doctor. If possible, get the doctor to come with you to explain why it is important you prevent against another pregnancy. It is also important you ask the church what would happen if your subsequent pregnancies produce girls instead of the boys he wants. Let him explain to the church when it would be enough if the boys don’t come early. The essence of this question is to expose the folly of his desires.

Only God determines the gender of a child despite claims by scientists that a particular position adopted by a couple can produce the desired gender.

Beyond that, you might need to also report the matter to his family as well as yours. This is because of the danger to your life. You have to know where he is getting the idea from. The kind of remarks his mother makes concerning the matter or attitude she puts up, will tell you where he is getting the idea from. If his mother is the one putting such idea into his head, go and meet her to explain what the doctor said the last time you had a child.

Explain in clear terms the verdict of the doctor concerning your life. If possible too, let the doctor come to explain to your mother-in-law why she should plead with her son to allow you use birth control.

Explain the consequences of leaving all your seven children behind should you die as a result of going through another childbirth. This is to make her think beyond the issue of her having more grandsons to how she would manage with seven children who are less than ten years old.

Blinded by her desire to have more grandsons, she may not have considered or thought that far. Besides, her son may not have told her about your health condition if you get pregnant again. Being a mother and woman, she may not support anything that would kill you.

But if she too refuses to listen to you, hand over the matter to your family who will definitely know what to do about it.

In the meantime; there is the need for you and your husband to discuss the situation between the two of you. From his attitude, it is absolutely clear things are not normal in your marriage. For a man to insist on his wife having another child so soon after he was warned by the doctor not to allow her get pregnant tells a story of so many things wrong in your marriage.

No loving man would send his wife on such a journey of no return. So what is wrong in your relationship to make him this callous and unthinking about the health implications to you?

Has he always been this unreasonable and unfeeling for your health and welfare? How many children did you both agreed on before you to married? Has he always made his desire to have so many children known to you? I ask this particular question because such passion to bless his mother with six grandsons certainly wouldn’t have started today. He must have mentioned it while you were both dating. The fact that you didn’t think of protesting when you kept getting pregnant for the seven children you now have within such a period of ten years shows that you also weren’t thinking of your health and wanted to meet up with the targets you both set for yourselves.

To be candid, would you have gone ahead to have more children if the issue of your health didn’t arise?

Also, didn’t you realize the nature of your man before you agreed to marry him? Chances are you did but thought you could change him; a mistake many women often make in their bid to get married.

Whatever the issues are, you can no longer pretend all is well in your marriage when it is so obvious that your marriage needs counsel and all the help.

This is the time for you to appeal for help from the church and your family in your quest to right those things that have gone wrong. The problem of birth control is only a smoke screen for the real issues which I think you are aware of but too timid to address with all the seriousness required to make this marriage work.

Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/wants-children-seven/

A worker for Google has been found dead after being raped while jogging in woodland close to her mother’s home.
Vanessa Marcotte, 27, was reported missing after failing to return from her run over the weekend.

Police dogs found her murdered body on Sunday evening around half a mile from her mothers home in Princeton, Massachusetts.
District Attorney Joseph Early said authorities didn’t know if the attack was a random act.

‘We have a horrible set of facts; a horrible set of circumstances right now,’ Early said. ‘People should be concerned. We are asking them to use an abundance of caution.’

Police Chief Michele Powers urged town residents to remain vigilant. Officials asked anyone with any information to contact authorities.
No other details were immediately released.

Marcotte, a graduate of Boston University, worked for Google, and the company released a statement Monday expressing shock.

‘Vanessa Marcotte was a much loved member of the Google team, working in our New York office for the last year and a half, and known for her ubiquitous smile, passion for volunteer work and love of Boston sports,’ the company said. ‘We are deeply shocked and saddened, and our thoughts are with her family and friends.’

The rural town of Princeton has about 3,500 residents and is 40 miles west of Boston. Early says Marcotte grew up in nearby Leominster..........

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/08/google-worker-raped-murdered-jogging-woodland/

A lorry has struck a crowd during Bastille Day celebrations in the southern French city of Nice, with reports of many dead.

The incident took place on the famous Promenade des Anglais during a firework display, media reports say.

One image on Twitter showed about a dozen people lying on the street, some being tended to.

The local prefecture has urged people in the area to remain indoors, calling the incident "an attack".

Nice Mayor Christian Estrosi said that "a lorry driver appears to have killed dozens of people".

He urged residents to stay indoors.

Some reports spoke of shots being exchanged between police and the occupants of the lorry but these have not been confirmed.

Social media video showed people running through the streets in panic following the incident.

A journalist with the Nice Matin newspaper reported from the scene that there was "a lot of blood and without doubt many injured".

An Agence France-Presse reporter said the incident took place as the firework display was ending, adding: "We saw people hit and bits of debris flying around."

Another image on Twitter showed a white lorry stopped in the middle of the promenade with damage to its front, and four police officers observing it while taking cover behind a palm tree.

More; http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/07/14/30-dead-100-injured-lorry-hits-crowd-nice/