₦airaland Forum

With your plan to HACK into INEC Server will not materialise, the game is up. We go for both manual that will generate the results to be transfer electronically. In Nigeria we vote manually with help of electronic

This was the video that got leaked in 2023, prior to the Presidential Elections, that made INEC suspended electronic transfer of results. They are all Tech gurus, IT experts that can play around with online data, manipulate whatever figures without anyone knowing....
Listen to the last speaker and his last statement...."we will rig this election for you"...
Even.....banging the table as he does his talk. No wonder, it was only them condemning the recent resolution by the NASS assembly to discard the i-Rev. Be sincere will you, as a person, after listening and watching this still support e-transfer?

The alliance of pro real time transmission of election results is void, your plan to HACK into INEC Server has been taken care of.

The game is up for you these social media wailers. You want a system you will HACK , do you think you have dullard at the centre?

I do enjoy 20 hrs supply in my area in the last three months running except there is accident on the path of supply by reckless driving

Obi is an illiterate complainer, anything that not go his way he must condem it

The good people have spoken & they spoke louder

Over to you Mr Governor. the CSO of the state

Ask Michael Jackson the source of his wealth and fane

SR, there are no facts in your story

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



Six years ago, I packed out of my matrimonial home when the situation between my husband and I was too difficult for me to handle.

We were always quarreling because everything about him irritated me. I didn’t know how to handle the situation at all. In retrospect, I realized my mother didn’t help matters as she supported me to do so much wrong to my husband. She, with my friends encouraged me to insult and humiliate him in every way a woman humiliates a man.

Although educated and well grounded, he didn’t bother to fight back. He allowed me and my mother to have our fill of everything. He never once complained about my behavior; not even when I denied him sex for over 18 months.

I guess I took advantage of his good nature of not complaining. I also knew for a fact that he didn’t have any girlfriend because of his rigid principle just as I knew he loved me to a fault.

I grew up with a mother who has gone through three husbands. My father happened to be her first and the one she humiliated the most. Although what she told us about our father was that he was difficult and stingy; I later discovered that she left my father for her second husband because he had more money than my father.

She made her second husband to drive away his first wife who later died of heartbrokenness. I actually thought her second husband was my father until she left him for her third husband. It was during one of their quarrels that I overheard the new husband telling her to return us to our original father.

I’m sure she is staying on because she is now old and lacking of male attention.

I really didn’t know she was the cause of my problem until after I left my husband and was dating other men. The man I would have loved to marry left me when he discovered I left my husband and that my mother was in her third marriage.

Deep down, I always thought my husband would never be able to remarry because of the kind of love he had for me. I thought if everything else failed, I would find my way back to his house. But how wrong I was! He got married three months ago to a woman who from all indications, he loves dearly. Sometimes, I see the two of them holding hands and strolling along the road whenever I come to the neighbourhood to see old friends.

Seeing them together makes me want him back. I discovered, I have never stopped loving him. He has become like an obsession to me as I drive around the area every day to have a glimpse of him. In addition, it is so embarrassing for me. I’m still single while he is married.

Because of the way I left, things I did and said when I was leaving and afterwards, there is no one I can go to among his friends and family members to beg for me. I have suddenly realized I want him back as my husband.

I divorced him legally on the prompting of my mother. Does it really matter, Agatha?

How do I go about it?

Lola.





Dear Lola,

You and your mother have done enough damage to this man; leave him to enjoy the company and companionship of his new wife.

You made your choice six years ago by walking out of your marriage to pursue other things dearer to you than your home and husband. So why are you now suddenly very interested in the man you admitted to treating badly? Had any of your relationships worked, would you have remembered him or developed sudden interest in his affairs?

There is a huge difference between want and love. You think you still love him because he has found himself a woman he cares for contrary to your presumptions that he loved you too much to even contemplate dating another woman not to talk of marrying her.

That certainly was arrogance at its height. Whatever gave you the impression that you were indispensable in his life must have informed your decision to make this man suffer needlessly for marrying you. You must have thought so highly of your importance in his life or feminine charms to think him incapable of feeling like a man again. Whatever powers or authority you relied on to have come to such conclusions about your ex-husband, obviously boomeranged on you. By now it should be clear to you that no man can be held down by any woman.

The fact that he didn’t respond to your behaviors didn’t mean he was incapable of doing anything or approaching another woman for sex. Yes, he must have loved you and cared about the vows he exchanged with you to make him appear so docile and accommodating of your excesses. You lost that right to his love and protection the moment you walked out on him and your marriage. No matter how ugly a man is, he would always find a woman who will see him differently from the way others see him because true love makes even the most ugly person, beautiful and appealing.

What you find useless is precious to another woman. You are wrong to assume he is still your husband. You lost the right to refer to him as yours the moment you sued him for divorce. He is free to remarry and be happy with another woman; so stop hoarding him to avoid the added embarrassment of him having you arrested for any kind of crime he or his wife may come up with. If they accuse you of wanting to harm them, how do you propose to defend yourself?

This is the point you throw in the towel and accept the fate you chose for yourself.

Also stop blaming your mother for whatever choice you made. She didn’t ask you to starve your man of sex for 18 months. Even if she did, aren’t you old enough to know how to manage your home and life? Would you jump in front of a speeding train just to prove your obedience to your mother if she demands it of you?

If you were wise, you would have learnt from her examples and used it to tailor your life differently. You would have resisted every pressure from your mother to make your life as miserable as hers clearly is. The fact that you wittingly allowed your home to be destroyed; means you supported your mother’s way of life until you discovered your ex has remarried. That piece of news spurred you to making a dramatic U-turn but which from this sentence by you, “I have suddenly realized I want him back as my husband” isn’t premised on love. Only a transformation that comes from your heart and is based on a sincere need to change your ways can work. For you to earn a chance to be happy again, you must really make up your mind to change many things about you. There is no moving forward in life if everything about you is centered on yourself. You must divest your interest from this issue and view things from the perspective of others involved in this matter to get things right.

There is really nothing stopping you from making contact with your ex if the essence is to apologise for all the pains you caused and to wish him well in his new marriage but, to expect the other woman to vacate her home for you because you consider the man as part of your furniture you can pick up anytime you like, is preposterous.

Your mother has her faults but, so do you. Accept this fact and a lot of things would fall into place as it would help point you at the reforms your life needs if you intend to remarry.



Don’t forget that your mother made her choice; you don’t have to follow her leading. Learn from everything that has happened to you since you left your husband. Your mother at least, is living with a man even if he is husband number three. She has a grace, you don’t have. This should tell you she cannot be you and you cannot be her. She maybe your mother but your lives are fashioned differently by God. Your destiny isn’t similar to hers. So stop listening to her on issues you don’t feel comfortable with. It doesn’t mean disrespect but exercising your God given right to chart your path in life.

Rather than waste your precious time pursuing the shadows of a time past, make your peace with your past, including with your father to make the process of moving on with your life lighter and brighter.



Good luck.More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/12/55394/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha

What Do I Do To Prevent Getting Pregnant?………I’m 16 and in Senior Secondary School. In the last couple of months, I have been receiving different kinds of interests and attention from both young and old men.

Although, my mother has never ceased to warn me about the consequences of allowing men come too close to me, I can’t help the delightful feelings I get whenever I get such attention from men.

I do have a boyfriend. All we have done is kiss and a little bit of romance. But, he is beginning to complain and threatening to leave me for another girl who will give him everything he wants from her.

He is in his final year and would be writing his secondary school leaving examinations from April. I’m in SS2.

My fear is: If I don’t give in to his demands now, I might lose him completely once he leaves school. I love him too much and don’t want another girl taking my place.

He has assured me that once, won’t get me pregnant and that there are drugs he would give me subsequently that would prevent pregnancy. My friends, who have gone all the way, assure me of such drugs.

Also, I’m tired of being made fun of by my friends who think I’m being childish and archaic in what they describe as a very modern world. They say men no longer cherish the big V (virgin) that they want experienced girls by their side.

I really want to belong; but I don’t want anything to interfere with my education in line with my mother’s warnings.

What do I do to ensure I don’t get pregnant?



Bola





Dear Bola,

By refusing to be part of the crowd, you are unique and delicately created by God to fulfill a destiny He has outlined for you. If He wanted you to be part of a crowd like your friends, he would have mass produced you. From the crown of your head, to the soles of your feet, everything is peculiar to you. So, why do you want to be part of the crowd? Why do you want to do the same things your friends are doing? Come to think of it, why do you want to follow the examples of your friends when you can also make the effort to change them to your way of thinking?

You don’t have to do anything to please your friends or your so-called boyfriend. As long as you are at peace with God, you have nothing to fear at all. He is the only one you have to fear, not your friends or boyfriend who is only out to destroy your nascent life.

If he really cares about you, he won’t give you conditions to continue to function in your life as your boyfriend. A man, who truly cares about the woman in his life, will never give conditions for loving her. Rather, he would abide with whatever she wants especially as you are both minors without a viable means of sustaining whatever emerges from the action he is blackmailing you into.

Pause to ask yourself this all-important question: What would happen to your dreams if you get pregnant and he dumps you to take care of the mess alone?

Every man has a sugar coated tongue, especially when it comes to winning the body of a woman. Your boyfriend clearly wants your body and would do and say anything to get his wishes realised.

For instance, telling you that once cannot get you pregnant is a huge lie. It is the line many men before him used to get ignorant women to do their bidding. It doesn’t matter if you are having sex for the first time or for the 100th time. The truth is, if a woman is in her ovulation period and have sex with a man, she will become pregnant no matter the state of her body.

Being a virgin and having sex for the first time won’t stop the work of nature taking place. Unless you want to terminate your education even before it has roots to sprout, tell this boyfriend of yours to go if he wants to. Sleeping with a man doesn’t assure a woman of his loyalty or insure the relationship against betrayal. A man that would stay true to a woman doesn’t need sex to stay with the woman. He would stay with or without sex as long the woman is happy with his company.

A man that makes sex a precondition for the sustainability of a relationship clearly has the mindset of using and dumping the woman. If your boyfriend has any respect for you, he will never make such a demand of you. He would instead, respect your need to keep your virginity for as long as possible.

In your bid to conform to the standards set by your friends, don’t also forget that you as the woman would suffer more should anything go wrong. You are the one nature has designed to incubate the baby for nine months. During that period, you would have to put your life on hold, bear the shame of jump-starting a stage of your life, which, ordinarily should be a thing of joy. Your so-called boyfriend has nothing to lose. He would continue with his education while you become a premature mother, drop out and frustrated young lady.

There is nothing trendy about being sexually active at all. Even in adulthood, sex is a very private matter, not to be displayed on the table.

To help you get it right; think of the kind of future you want. Build the image and etch it in your memory. Put a time frame to it to enable you focus properly. This way, it would be easy for you to monitor your progress at every point in time.

Concurrently, build another image of you having a baby at your age, the father abandoning you to fend for the child alone. Imagine you struggling to make ends meet while your friends are continuing with their studies. Having these two contrasting images right in your mind will definitely help you stay focused and know the kind of answers to give to any man who wants to destroy your life before you even have a chance to begin it.

The irony of life is: Sex will never go out of fashion and would at one time in your life, lose all the so called excitement so much so, you would at times find several reasons to avoid it.

So, why destroy your life for something you will have to live with for the rest of your life? When the time is right, you can have it for as many times as you desire it without anybody asking you questions.

Refuse to become a prey for the male predators showing interest in you. The sad thing about all these is, once they suck you dry of your nutrients like an orange, they will be the same people laughing at what they have turned you into. No man wants to marry a woman that has been passed around. That is why they look for women whose experiences are limited when they want to get married.

Morally bankrupt as our society has become, deep down, we are still a moral conscious society, which is why these men, who go out to destroy other people’s daughters, cage their own daughters from fellow male predators.

Take it from me; your boyfriend is the first of many men you would think you are in love with.



When you find true love, you will wonder and laugh at your foolish interpretation of love. Ignore your friends; quit your relationship with this boy and befriend your education, which is your visa to a promising tomorrow.

Tell your friends, when you are ready to embrace romance to the fullest, they won’t be the ones to tell you.

Don’t ever forget the warnings of your mother because they come from a wealth of experience. You will one day have a daughter. How would you feel as a mother if your daughter comes home with a shameful pregnancy instead of the good education you sent her to school to get? Life is a big stage and a cycle too. You will one day be standing where your mother is currently standing. The choices you make today, will determine how your own children react to your advice. Think about it!



Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/11/prevent-getting-pregnant/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha

She Doesn’t Want To Tell Me Who My Father Is…………My mother is one of the nicest women I have come across hence I’m always wary of hurting her.

I’m 22 years of age. She has been the only parent I have ever known. Not once has she mentioned my father or his family. Whenever I try to bring up the topic she becomes agitated and since she is very hypertensive, I do my best not to provoke her.

I’m her only child too. I don’t even know anything about her sex life as she appears to have frozen that aspect of her life. She goes and comes straight home from the office; has very few friends. Her family members too are extra protective of her so much so, the last time I tried to find out from her who my father is, my grandparent, uncles and aunties warned me never to make such demands of her. To appease me, my uncle who has never ceased to play the role of a father in my life, sent me on vacation to Paris with my cousins.

I lack nothing because every member of my mother’s family is ready to give me whatever I demand for. I have searched for every possible clue, including prying through my mother’s secret documents when she isn’t around. I found nothing except my birth certificate that has her maiden name as my surname.

I also knew from the dates on her certificate that she had me while at the university; in her second year.

I enjoy all the attention but I really want to see my father. The nearest I have come to finding out who my father is; is a group photograph of her former schoolmates. In the pix, she leaned towards this very handsome man who from my looks, I share some similarities with.

There was no name at the back of the picture.

By August ending I shall be 23 years of old. If things go very well, I want to get married next year.

It is very frustrating for me the way my mother and her family carry on about my paternity.

I also noticed that one of my rebellious aunties who isn’t in synergy with them and who has severally threatened to tell me who my father is, has been sent aboard.

I feel lost and very angry at the same time.

Don’t I have a right to know who my father is? What do I tell my children when they ask me for my father? please help me because much as I don’t want to hurt my mother, I want to know the identity of my father.

Stephanie.





Dear Stephanie,

It’s your right to know who your father is. Nobody should deny you that right.

But given the situation you have found yourself in, there is the need for you to be cautious else you risk making a total mess of everything.

On the surface, your mother has no right to deny you of meeting your father or his family members. But issues like yours go deeper than you realize because of the many complications and injuries that are tied to what you are demanding for.

The fact that your mother didn’t marry or remarry; has no known man friend; lives a semi secluded life should give you an insight into what might have gone wrong between them.

The actions of your mother alone is enough evidence that her hurt runs deep and that she must have loved you deeply to have kept you. Many women have been known to abandon their babies on the road side to escape memories of their misadventure.

That perhaps explains the special care and interest of her family in you. They obviously don’t want her worrying over you upkeep or taking a retrogressive step to her past.

It could also be the reason they don’t want you upsetting her with demands to see your father.

If you say she is hypertensive; that is only part of her story. She may have suffered some psychological damage to prompt her decision never to experience the love of a man again.

Until you get into the adult world properly, you may not totally comprehend all the different facets there are in the world of adults.

A simple matter of love that went wrong has been known to lead to deaths or insanity.

Doubtless, they are being unfair to you by denying you the identity of your father but if you are very patient, you will eventually understand the story behind it.

In your case, it has gone beyond your mother to her entire family. It only underscores how messy and complex the situation that brought you to life is.

The fact too that your father’s family, hasn’t made the effort to see you is also prove that things really went wary between them. If for nothing, they should have made the effort to fight for you or see you in school.

For this reason you cannot afford to be too hard on your mother or any member of her family in your quest to see your father.

This is because you aren’t even sure of their disposition towards you. To get your mother to talk, you need to sit her down for a mother-daughter discussion. Begin by appreciating her love, support and care all these years. It couldn’t have been easy for her, despite the support from her family to take on the sole responsibility of looking after you.

Go ahead to tell her all the good things she has taught you as a mother and why you would never want to hurt her in life. Make it also clear to her that asking for the identity of your father isn’t because she has failed or that you would leave her to be with him: that until death, she remains your number one any day; any time.

Assure her that, no matter how scarlet, her past maybe, you will never judge her because her conduct, since knowing her, has made you very proud.

Make it clear to her that your quest to see your father is both primitive and inquisitive. Since our genes are wired to know who are parents are. No matter the mistakes made by our parents; the right of every child is to know those through he or she came into being.

Tell your mother that you don’t want to through life not know who the other half of you is and that. Also, you want to avoid a situation where you might end up sleeping with your uncle, cousin or brother from your father’s side.

Besides all these, is the curiosity to know the man who fathered you.

Point out to her that telling you about her mistake could stop you from making a similar mistake.

If she refuses to heed your pleas, go to your grandparents and the rest of the family that you desire to see your father. Explain all these points to them as well as your gratitude for their love and care.

If they persist, ask them to imagine being in your shoes, not knowing who fathered you. Go on to ask them how they would feel not knowing the other half of their parentage. If they still refuse, threaten to go to the press or social network in your bid to locate your father. Let them know that you have a picture of your mother and her friends that would lead you to your father eventually. Ensure you have the picture in your custody before saying this as it is really the only clue you have of your father.

Since they wouldn’t want such negative publicity, they would be forced to reconsider their stance.

But this should be the last resort.

You could also try getting across to your rebellious aunty. Appeal to her conscience by asking her how she would feel without knowing who her father is. Since she appears not to be in consensus with the family, she may end up giving you the lead you need to meet your father.



Whatever you eventually come up with, don’t ever turn your back on your mother or hold any grudge against her. Always be respectful and thankful for her sacrifices on you.

Besides, you are not too young to adopt prayers as a tool for survival. With God everything is possible. Before talking to your mother, commit her heart to God. Above all, appreciate one fact; some memories are very painful to drag out. This could be the reason she and the family do not want to talk about it. All you need to win this battle is an unusual maturity and wisdom.



Good luck.

More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/11/doesnt-want-tell-father/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha

He Left Me With No Choice But To Have An Affair…………I got married to a Muslim. He actually deflowered me. Unfortunately, his father never supported our marriage because I come from a Christian home as well as tribe. His father never for once hid his desire to have his son marry a Muslim woman.

In his efforts to have his wish accomplished, he convinced my husband to travel abroad to make money. As at the time he left, I was already four months pregnant.

Life became very unbearable after I gave birth to our son as there was no body to help me with the upkeep. My husband wasn’t sending me money and his family just couldn’t be bothered. Infact, they compounded my problem with their treatment and attitude towards me.

After waiting five years for without a word from my husband, I traveled to Lagos to see my brother and look for job. A year after coming to Lagos, I met a uniformed man who came to Lagos for a conference. He stays in Abuja. He offered me a job in Abuja and a place to stay, I took up the offer because I needed to take care of my son, pay his school fees as well as my younger ones since I happen to be the first child of the family.

After five months, the man though married, asked out. We started dating but knew the relationship

will not transcend to anywhere since we were both married to other people.

I don’t know what to do. Please help me.



Worried Woman.







Dear Worried Woman,

No matter the fault of your husband and his family, you were wrong to have gone into an extra marital affair without first terminating your marriage.

Granted his family didn’t treat you right, but you would have found a way to reach out to your husband to demand for explanations as well as his decision concerning your marriage and child.

Legally, you are still his wife and would therefore be label as an adulteress by the discerning society. Besides, his family members, who have been looking for ways to get rid of you from his life, will only be too willing to expose you to him. Then, nobody would consider the emotional pains as well as financial difficulties his attitude has put you through. You will get all the blame for being a bad woman, wife and mother. Honestly, I understand you even risk losing that child to his family what you are going through but you made the decision to marry him; nobody forced you into it.

So don’t allow the situation you are in force you to do what you would normally not do. Given the fact that he met you a virgin is indicative of the high moral values you have. Having extra marital affair isn’t a solution to your situation. What you should do is to face the reality of your situation by being bold enough to make a decision, given all you have been through.

No matter what, your husband owes his child and you some allowances as well. The reason, you must make the extra effort to get him is the probability of his family confiscating the money he is sending you. Irrespective of your pains and disappointment with him, still give him a benefit of doubt by going through the weak chain in the family; that person who isn’t as hostile to you as the rest of them. There is always someone in the family who doesn’t think the way the rest of the people do. You may not have noticed that person because you simply didn’t bother to find out as a result of resentment you have against the headship of the family.

One thing you must not forget is the relationship your son has with them. He will always be their child, no matter what. That child will one day be in a position to ask you certain questions. You must avoid anything that will present you as worthless before your child.

Tough times don’t last; only tough people do.

Given the fact too that this man is married doesn’t do anything for your image. Whether you like it or not, you will return to the street once his wife finds out so, why date a man you cannot be seen with or who can stand by you should everything blow out in the open?



Whatever will demean your position as a mother, don’t do it, no matter how tempting it is to you.

If your mind is made up about your marriage and husband, the least you can do is to tell his family about your decision. Let them know that you are fed up and want the freedom to start something new with your life.

If you do that, nobody will turn around to accuse you of anything immoral or betraying your vows.

As for this married man, it is either he gives you the job without dating you or you look for another job that will give you the freedom to choose who you want to date. In addition, don’t forget he is a married man. Let him enjoy his marriage. The fact that yours isn’t working doesn’t mean his wife shouldn’t enjoy her husband and marriage.

Be hasty in your decision at least for the sake of your son.



Good luck.

More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/11/left-no-choice-affair/

You might think there’s no escaping the high—and still rising—cost of college. But at some schools, the cost of tuition rings up as zilch, zero, nada.

These ten colleges across the country offer free tuition. At many of the schools, students work a set number of hours in a student work program or, in the case of the military academies, commit to a period of service after graduating.

Not surprisingly, the savings for families is significant. During the 2015–16 academic year, the average annual sticker price for tuition and fees for in-state students attending a four-year public college was $9,410, according to the College Board. Meanwhile, the average annual cost of tuition and fees for out-of-state students at a four-year public college was $23,893. Private colleges were even pricier, at an average total cost of $32,405.

Although the schools listed here are tuition-free in most cases, students and their families are expected to pay for required fees, room and board, and books. Financial aid is often available to help defray those costs.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/11/53775/

Nigerian men in the United States have gone berserk with rampant killing of their wives over disappointing and humiliation they suffer from NIgeria wives imported to America.

The men who often sponsored their wives to nursing schools for which the women earn fat salaries after graduation cause ruckus between the couple which often end in divorce resulting into husbands giving up their life property and earnings according to the US law. Vanguard investigations revealed that the pain of losing their life earned money and property built over the years, sparked the men to kill their wives than watch them enjoy the luxury of alimony. One of the Nigerian men, Mr David Ochola who killed his 28 years old wife, Mrs Priscilla Ochola, in Hennepin, Minnesota pulled a call through to the U.S. Emergency Number, 911 after he shot his wife dead. He admitted it to the US Police, “Yes, I have killed the woman that messed up my life; the woman that has destroyed me.

I am at Shalom West. My name is David and I am all yours.” The 50-years old Ochola husband was said to have gotten tired of being “disrespected” by his wife, a Registered Nurse (RN) whom he had brought from Nigeria and sponsored through nursing school only to have her make much more than him in salary, a situation which led to Mrs. Ochola “coming and going as she chose without regard for her husband.”

The couple had two children – four years old boy and a three year old girl. In Texas, Mr Babajide Okeowo had been separated from his wife, Funke Okeowo, with whom he resided at their Dallas home. Upon the divorce, the husband lost the house to his wife, along with most of the contents therein, as is usually the tradition in the U.S. Divorces where the couple still has underage children. Okeowo, 48, divorced his wife because not long after she became an RN and made more money than him, she “took control” of the family finances and “controlled” her husband’s expenditure and movement.

The husband could no longer make any meaningful contribution to his family back in Nigeria unless the wife “approved” it. He could not go out without her permission.

Frustrated that his formerly malleable wife had suddenly become such a “terror” to him to the point of asking for in court and getting virtually everything for which he had worked since coming to the US thirty years prior, the husband got in his vehicle and drove a few hundred miles to Dallas to settle the scores. He found her in her SUV, adorned in full Nigerian attire on her way to the birthday bash organized in her honor.

She had turned 46 on that day. Mr. Okeowo fired several rounds into his wife’s torso while she sat at the steering wheel, mercilessly killing her in broad daylight. Also in Dallas (they sure need anger management classes in Dallas), Moses Egharevba, 45, did not even bother to get a gun.

The husband of Grace Egharevba, 35, bludgeoned her to death with a sledge hammer while their seven year old daughter watched and screamed for peace. Mrs. Egharevba’s “sin” was that she became an RN and started to make more money than her husband.

This led to her “financial liberation” from a supposedly tight-fisted husband who had not only brought her from Nigeria, but had also funded her nursing school education. Like Moses Egharevba, Christopher Ndubuisi of Garland, Texas, (these Texas people!) also did not bother to get a gun. He crept into the bedroom where his wife, Christiana, was sleeping and, with several blows of the sledge hammer, crushed her head.

Two years before Christiana was killed, her mother, who had been visiting from Nigeria, was found dead in the bathtub under circumstances believed to be suspicious. Of course, Christiana was a RN whose income dwarfed that of her husband as soon as she graduated from nursing school.

Horror: Nigerian Men Go Rampage In Us, Kill Wives Over Divorce, Alimony
Nigeria-men-in-US
The husband believed that his role as a husband and head of the household had been usurped by his wife. Mr. Ndubuisi’s several entreaties to his wife’s family to intercede and bring Christiana back under his control had all failed. If the circumstances surrounding the death of Christiana’s mother were suspicious, those surrounding the death of a Tennessee woman’s mother were not. Agnes Nwodo, an RN, lived in squalor before her husband, Godfrey Nwodo, rescued her and brought her to the US.

He enrolled her in nursing school right away. Upon qualifying as a RN, Mrs. Nwodo assumed “full control” of the household. She brought her mother to live with them against her husband’s wishes. Mrs. Nwodo quickly familiarized herself with US Family Laws and took full advantage of them. Each time the couple argued, the police forced the husband to leave the house whether he had a place to sleep or not.

On many occasions, Mr. Nwodo spent days in police cells. Upon divorcing his wife, Mr. Nwodo lost to his wife, the house he had owned for almost 20 years before he married her.

He also lost custody of their three children to her, with the court awarding him only periodic visitation rights. Even seeing the children during visitation was always a hassle as the wife would “arrive late at the neutral meeting place and leave early with impunity.” Mr. Nwodo endured so many embarrassing moments from his wife and her mother until he could take it no more.

One day, he bought himself a shotgun and killed both his wife and her mother. Caleb Onwudike’s wife, Chinyere Onwudike, 36, became a RN and no longer saw the need to be controlled by her husband. Mr. Onwudike, 41, worked two jobs to send his wife to her dream school upon bringing her to the US from Nigeria.

After four years, she qualified as an RN. Once she started to make more money than her husband, she began to “call the shots” at home. She “overruled” her husband on the size and cost of the house they purchased in Burtonsville, Maryland. She began to build a house solely in her name in their native Umuahia town of Abia State, Nigeria, without her husband’s input whatsoever.

Mrs. Onwudike came and went “as she liked,” within the US and outside the US. In fact, she once travelled to Nigeria for three weeks “without her husband’s permission” to lavishly bury her father, despite her husband’s protestations that they had better things to do with the money.

Mrs. Onwudike let her husband know that this was mostly her money and she would spend it however she wanted. Through her hard work, she had risen to a managerial position at the medical center where she worked. Upon her return from burying her father, her husband got one of her kitchen knives and carved her up like a Thanksgiving turkey inside their home on New Year’s Day. Death is death, no matter how it comes. But the goriest of these maniacal killings is probably the one that happened here in Los Angeles, California. Joseph Mbu, 50, was tired of his RN wife’s “serial disrespect” of him.

The disrespect began as soon as she became a RN. Gloria Mbu, 40, had once told her husband he must be “smoking crack cocaine” if he thought he could tell her what to do with her money now that she made more money than him.

Before she became a RN, Mr. Mbu had been very strict with family finances and was borderline dictatorial in his dealings with Mrs. Mbu. However, Mrs. Mbu learned the American system and would no longer allow any man to “put her down.” When Joseph Mbu could not take it anymore, he subdued his wife one day, tied her to his vehicle and dragged her on paved roads all around Los Angeles until her head split in many pieces.


More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/10/horror-nigerian-men-go-rampage-us-kill-wives-divorce-alimony/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

Once my father is away, my stepmother does all kinds of things, including bringing her man friend into the house. Severally, she has hit me for daring to challenge her and has vowed to make life very uncomfortable for us if we dare tell our father what is going on behind him. From her utterances, she doesn’t like our father even though he loves her. Her only interest in our father is the money she gets. She is yet to have a child for our father

About three months ago, she brought her boyfriend to stay with us. She is 27. She told our father that the young man is her cousin and even got her younger brother to back up her lie.

About three weeks ago, whenever she is not around, he tries to touch me. I have done my best to keep him off me; even threatened to tell my father. But I’m worried that if he is unable to force himself on me, that he could harm my younger sister.

My brother and I have decided to tell our father’s brother who is very caring and comes round to see us what is really happening. We figure he would be in the best position to tell our father about it but we confused on how to introduce the topic to our uncle.

Our mother died six years ago.

Rolade.



Dear Rolade,

The earlier you told your uncle, the best for you all. The longer you and your siblings delay in telling either your father or uncle about what is going on in your home, the greater the danger of your being abused sexually.

Your father will blame you for not saying anything while all these were going on. Don’t stop at telling your uncle about the sexual threats you are facing, let him know that this boy isn’t in anyway related to your stepmother; that he is actually her boyfriend and not the brother she parades him as.

Insist, you and your siblings no longer feel safe staying with your stepmother who is quite capable of harming you all if she thinks she is losing out on your father’s love.

In the interim, until your father makes up his mind on what to do about his wife, you and your siblings would like to stay with your uncle or move into a boarding school. At least, it will put a distance between you all and your stepmother as well as her boyfriend.

Frankly, keeping quiet about everything happening behind your father is like giving your stepmother the support to cheat on your father and kill him when she makes up her mind on how to get his property.

Being the eldest of your siblings, your younger ones are looking up to you to do the right thing for them. Whether you realise it or not, you are not only failing your father but your siblings as well who would definitely be most affected if anything happens to your father. They will never forgive you for being such a weak sister if your stepmother succeeds in eliminating your father.

Your stepmother has the boldness to do as she likes because she knows you are too weak to challenge her or say anything to your father. Your age irrespective, she wouldn’t have dared if she knew you to be a no-nonsense young lady.

I’m Still Single At 30



Whose interest are you really serving by keeping quiet; your father’s, yours or your stepmother’s? Telling your father about the nature of this woman he calls wife is the only way you can help him come to a realisation of what is more important to him in life. And if that means ending his marriage to this woman, so be it. Have you considered the damage to you or your sister if her boyfriend succeeds in raping you? Nothing in your life or home will ever be the same.

It is best for your father to experience another disappointment in his relationship than to have any of you, his children humiliated, abused or eliminated. Informing him directly or through your uncle is the only way he can offer you the protection you all deserve at your tender ages.

Life isn’t structured by God to be sweet always. It is a mixture of bitterness and sweetness; this is a fact your father knows. Whatever disappointment you are protecting him from, would heal with time.

He doesn’t need you to play mother hen to him; what he wants is for you to be his daughter, ask for his protection and love.

Call that uncle of yours immediately. And please, do call me. If you want me to help inform your uncle and father, I will gladly do it.



Good luck.
More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/brings-lover-house/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I’m 30 years old. I’m a National Certificate of Education (NCE) holder.

You won’t believe that I have no boyfriend, not to talk of a husband. The strange thing is that no man is coming my way when I am supposed to marry and have kids. I’m confused.

Worried Girl.



Dear Worried Girl,

Don’t be. There is always a time and season for everything. God is never known to be late or early. His time is always right for those who trust and belief in Him.

As we are different in faces and character, so are our seasons.

If you know the worth of the God you serve, you won’t worry too much unless there is something you aren’t doing right or didn’t do in your previous do relationships.

Sometimes, women confuse their desires with what is really important in life. If you are one of those women who didn’t get right her priority, who put materialist considerations above love and prospect of the man, then you have nobody to blame but your own ideals.

But if all you have ever wanted was someone to love and cherish you always, you will eventually get that special man.

Some blessings come only when we know the value of what God is giving to us. Yes, marriage is wired into our gene even before we were born, the truth is not every adult knows what to do with it if given, when the time isn’t right for such person.

It is the reason divorce cases are daily on the rise. Many who rush into marriage, find out that they simply cannot cope with its numerous challenges as well as adjustments. Only those who know the value of gold, cherish it.

While you are praying for a husband, take the time out to prepare yourself psychologically to prevent the tales of woe a lot of people are telling about their own choices.

It is always best to wait a little bit and be happy in a marriage than to rush into it only to find the nearest exit door minutes after signing the dotted lines.



Like everything else in life, marriage requires absolute preparations to make it right.

By using this period judiciously, you will end up happier than those who didn’t have time to prepare at all.

Always be prayerful for the discerning spirit to recognize when that special man comes.

Many women end up being spinsters because they lack the gift to identify their very own Mr.Right. Refuse to be influenced by the world’s definition of who is right for you and who isn’t.

Good luck.
More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/im-still-single-30/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I’m 22 years old and a 400 Hundred Level student of Ekiti State University.

Throughout my days in secondary school and university, I refused to have a boyfriend simply because of my feelings for my cousin.

My love for him is inexplicable. I’m still a virgin because my cousin has refused to touch me and he will do anything for our love.

My dilemma is this, while I can’t date someone else, I can’t marry my cousin. I am so confused. Please, I need your help.

Cassie.



Dear Cassie,

Don’t be confused because that is the surest way of making a wrong decision. You need to be clear headed to think and talk to your cousin about this.

The best way out of this is for both of you to sit down to first acknowledge and examine your feelings for each other.

Something must have brought it on. Unless both of you go back to the very beginning, it will be almost impossible for both of you navigate your ways out of this situation.

You won’t solve anything by denying your love for each other or using another relationship to quench your thirst for each other.

To do any of these is to merely postpone doom’s day in that it would affect the quality of relationships you have with other people. Yes, it is wrong to experience what you feel for your cousin but that cannot erase the fact that you do.

Since you are both matured enough to recognize what you feel for each other and the implications on the unity of the family, invite your cousin over for meeting in a place where you in particular will not be tempted to do something foolish.

Confess what you feel. By letting him know how you feel, you will also encourage him to talk about his feeling for you. At least, it would give him the opportunity to properly articulate his feelings towards you.

The truth here is that you could be misinterpreting his feelings, reading too much into a situation only you feel.

That he hasn’t taken advantage of what you obviously would have willingly given him shows he is more in control and absolutely reasonable. Another young man, won’t be so sensitive or reasonable. The thought of making love to you would have made him forget any considerations of your blood relationship.

This attribute of his, will help both of you become reasonable about the necessity of the decision you have to make.

At this juncture, let reality guide you in particular because you are the one who will suffer the most should anything go out of place.

Remember this isn’t just about the two of you. A lot of people too are involved; if you decide to go against the norms, the present peace and unity being enjoyed in your families will vanish; therefore factor in the pains and disappointment of all these people should you allow your feelings hold you prisoner.

In addition, keep in focus the spiritual angle of sleeping with your cousin. While some people may argue otherwise, be reminded that you have in common a set of grandparents, aunties, uncles, other cousins hence the spiritual links that must also not be tampered with.

The implication here is, if there is a health challenge in your family, rather than thin out when family members marry other people, marrying within the family only enhances such situation. Medically, it isn’t also wise to get involved with a relation.

Follow this talk with a rigid determination to let go by staying away from situations that always bring both of you together.

There are always a thousand excuses not to come home for the holidays, if he stays in the same house with you or for family gathering that will bring both of you together.

I can understand the emotional pains of letting go of someone you obviously love so much but, if you consider the fact that this is all wrong for you, you will gain the strength to let go.

In addition, you should be more friendly with suitors that come your way. You don’t have anyone apart from your cousin because you have refused to apply yourself to any other relationship.

It won’t be a bad idea after talking with him and getting a clear signal from the radar to have someone in your life whose presence will not only help you forget your lost love but also engage your time, mind and emotions on getting to know him.

At 22, you are young and able to recover fast.



Besides, you cannot really say what you feel for your cousin until you experience a relationship with another man.

Between love and hate are different kinds of emotions; some very strong and appealing. Chances are what you consider to be love for your cousin maybe infatuation following something you find compelling about him. It happens even between brothers and sisters, daughters and fathers. The woman’s mind is often drawn to that male in her family who protects her the most; who is always at her beck and call

Without knowing how or when, she builds her emotions around him; making him her idol for life. While some girls begin to look for their idol in every man that comes their way, some like you simply decide to shroud their feelings in the garment of love.

If at 22, you are yet to give a man outside your cousin the chance to occupy your mind or thoughts, then, you cannot be certain that love is what you really feel.

Even if it is, like I said, it is all wrong. Also ask God for assistance to make you forget your cousin.


Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/live-cousins-love/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I married at the age of 20 and I’m currently 41 years old with six children.

My husband is 53. When we got married, I didn’t have urge for sex but since I turned 39, my sexual urge has increased. I now lust after men.

My problem now is that my husband ejaculates even before we start sex.

Please what can I do?

Confused Wife.



Dear Confused Wife,

As we grow older, we acquire not just experiences but liberty to interpret our desires and needs at any given time.

What has happened is, you are no longer under fear to explode in your desires to be pleased in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, this freedom has opened your eyes to the inadequacies of your husband. At 20, you were young and naïve. You didn’t have the experience or guts to know what you wanted or desired as a woman.

The fact too that you didn’t know better made you to accept the package that came with your marriage. Back then, you thought you were the sole problem as a result of your attitude towards sex.

Now that you have come of age sexually, you have discovered that it would take much more to draw you out of your shell and give you the kind of satisfaction that you crave for.

The fact too that you and your husband have gotten to your middle ages, means your marriage needs overhauling to suit your present demands. There is no way the technique you both applied in the early days of your marriage can continue to work effectively in your middle ages.

First, you now have a more matured outlook; which means everything about you and your husband has changed dramatically. Long gone are the fears and insecurity of the early years. Especially for you, who got married at 20, your body is now demanding for the years of excitement you buried in marriage and raising a family.

With the children no longer as demanding as they were years back, you are increasingly having more time on your hands to remember you are a woman with needs of her own. The emotions you buried in your task as mother, nanny and home keeper are now coming to the fore.

To ignore them is to deny the reality and gravity of the issue at hand.

What worked perfectly for both of you then may not be so perfect anymore. This is why you are feeling this inch to have more, to enjoy yourself better. Deep down, you are feeling cheated and if care isn’t taken, you might find yourself doing things against your conscience.

Sadly, the inability of the woman at the centre of it all to look her husband straight in the eyes to complain has led many women to go outside to find solutions that ended up boomeranging on them.



The fact too that a woman’s body reengineers itself sexually when she begins the 40 years climb, is another reason you should cry out to your husband to help you stay faithful to him.

If you take a statistic of married women having affairs, they fall within this age group.

According to a doctor friend, just like the hormones play havoc with young girls at the start of their menstrual years; the same thing applies to women approaching the menopausal years.

While some women are turned off sexually, the majority of women becoming more intense sexually. This is the time she has to be very close to her husband who she must make to understand the changes in her body.

This explains why some women go out of their homes to have affairs with younger men who have the energy to give them what they want.

A good reason you must talk as sincerely as possible with your husband. You must be able to make him understand and accept your need to be pleased by him.

You must conquer your inner fear of what he would think if you push him too hard. Honestly, given the attitude of our society to demands by women to have more sexual satisfaction from their partners, this could be a little bit tricky as he might come to the often wrong conclusions that you might have started having an affair outside your home.

It is to prevent the danger of you doing so that you need to initiate a discussion to this effect with your husband.

Sex is the most delicate aspect of marriage. The fact that you are not getting the kind of satisfaction you want exposes your marriage and emotions to; a very dangerous thing considering that such emotions could take you outside your home for solutions that will consequently destroy your years of toil.

In discussing with him, appreciate his love first. Assure him that he is the best husband and father any woman can ever have.

That if you have to do it again, you would still have him as your husband. This is to relax him and give ear to the topic you want to discuss with him.

Begin your story of lack of sexual satisfaction by painting the picture of how more and more married women are going outside their homes for sex.

Make it clear this is what you are trying to prevent by asking him to help make your love life better.

Before, you go to him, read up books on how to improve your sex life and also watch adult films to get knowledge of what you really want from him.

The reason for talking to him about it; is to get his support for all the new things you want both of you to do as a couple.

Also, by now you should be able to say if this is a new development with him or the way he has always been. If it is a new development, it could be an age thing, hence he would readily welcome your suggestions for other ways of finding sexual fulfillment.

But if it has always been like that with him, don’t expect him to immediately buy into your idea. You may have to introduce your reforms gradually like delaying the process of the actual thing until you are ready.

This you can achieve by urging his fingers and tongue to areas of your body you know are your most vulnerable zones. This is also assuming you know the areas of your body that set you on fire. If you don’t, get on it immediately as it would help your case.

You too must know the areas that make him go wild; bring back not just his old exciting memories but also his energy to take you to that special height you have never been before.

It is all a matter of you and your husband changing your attitudes to sex and its essence in your life.

Furthermore, marriage must always be overhauled; just like manufactures do with their brands from time to time. This isn’t just a matter of having sexual satisfaction; it is that of rebranding your marriage entirely.

What this has brought to fore is that you and your man aren’t communicating at all. If you both were close, are friends to each other, this matter wouldn’t have become such a bother. If you were friends, it wouldn’t even have gotten to this stage because you would have on the spur of the moment communicated your needs of each other.

It isn’t too late to start all over again. If you deal with only the sexual side, it wont last because all the other things that make for sexual harmony and compatibility must be addressed too.

Being friends alone with your spouse is enough to ignite a whole array of exciting emotions. So, give your marriage the right injection to serve you better by paying special attention to your husband, his needs, comfort and welfare. This way, you would be paving the way for your own wholesome happiness.



Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/46777/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



I met a girl during our secondary school days. She attended a different school from me but when we met, we fell in love.

During the time we started dating, I dedicated myself to observing her way of life as well as lifestyle; I found out to my satisfaction she was worth having as a wife. I therefore didn’t waste time to introduce her to my family. It got to a stage in our relationship she vowed never to marry another man.

After our secondary school education we agreed that she should further her education while I go into business to enable me prepare for the future ahead of us.

With the consent and knowledge of her family members, I paid her enrollment fees.

Suddenly, she started rejecting my calls and when she manages to answer, she gives all manner of reasons for ignoring my calls.

Recently, I traveled home only to discover she is planning her wedding to someone else very soon without my knowledge.

What do I do before I do something crazy?



Hurting Man.





Dear Hurting Man,

The idea of life itself is a huge gamble. That is why some babies simply elect to go back on the day of their birth.

That you are alive is a testimony of your willingness to fight against the odds of life. Every stage and thing that happens to us in life is intended to help us move on to a better and higher level.

There is no teacher like experience. At times it comes with bitter pills but it eventually opens the way for a better choice.

Obviously you misjudged this lady and her interest in you. You were in love with her but she saw in you, an opportunity for her to move on in life.

No matter how hurt or disappointed you are, don’t do anything stupid. She isn’t worth your time and attention. At least, she didn’t allow you to waste your time and money training her through the university before dumping you for another man. Whatever you feel, still thank God for this early exit. It gives you the time and energy to pursue a more viable relationship.

However, the lesson will only make meaning if you look past your pains to what you did wrong as well as the signs you ignored in her.

Sometimes, when we are too much in love, we become careless and blind to signs we should have taken very serious.

Honestly, she wasn’t meant for you else she would never have married another man. Irrespective of the emotional pains you are going through, be glad that she didn’t wait until you are both married to manifest her true feelings towards you. Had she waited till then, it would have been very devastating for you.

See the money you have spent on her so far as one of those gambles we make in life. As a businessman, you should be used to bad investment decisions. This is one of them. Your speculation simply didn’t work. A true businessman rebounds fast so as not to collapse his investment after suffering a set back.

Move on by forgetting her. To you she has become history; a teaching aid used by nature to teach you a fundamental lesson about life and relationship. This kind of lesson is one you don’t forget in a hurry because of its importance to you.

For now, don’t rush into any relationship to enable you get the nasty feel of this experience out of your system.

Besides, having just finished secondary school, you assumed too much and took a huge risk on your future by abandoning your education for her. What makes you think you cannot combine growing your business with going to school?

Whatever her reasons for abandoning you for another man; make a resolution to make it irrelevant in your life by going to school. You will always need the power of knowledge to make your business perform better.

See her treatment of your love and support as the clarion-call for you to revalue your life and make the necessary corrections while you still have the power to.

If you cannot sit for the regular examinations, apply for a part-time programme to give you time to manage your business. The focus on your studies will help remove the thoughts of women from your mind for the time being.



By the time you are ready again to love, you will be doing it from the position of strength and maturity. You failed to notice her true character because you allowed passion to influence your decision. When you are ready for a more serious relationship, you will discover that there are more important qualities to look out for in your partner than those you played up in this relationship.

The funny thing about relationship is, even if both of you went into a written agreement, you cannot force her against her will to remain true to the promise. You cannot report her to the Police.

Don’t forget she went into this relationship of her own free will and she is walking out also of that free will.

There is nothing you can do at this point but to accept the situation as it is. Her parents you could have reported her to, are parties to her decision so allow the matter to rest. This is certainly a blessing in disguise; one you will have reasons to be grateful for.

When you find the right woman; who loves you unconditionally, you will look back at this point in your life, and bless God for His mercy.

Good luck.

More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/left-marry-another-man/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



I met a girl during our secondary school days. She attended a different school from me but when we met, we fell in love.

During the time we started dating, I dedicated myself to observing her way of life as well as lifestyle; I found out to my satisfaction she was worth having as a wife. I therefore didn’t waste time to introduce her to my family. It got to a stage in our relationship she vowed never to marry another man.

After our secondary school education we agreed that she should further her education while I go into business to enable me prepare for the future ahead of us.

With the consent and knowledge of her family members, I paid her enrollment fees.

Suddenly, she started rejecting my calls and when she manages to answer, she gives all manner of reasons for ignoring my calls.

Recently, I traveled home only to discover she is planning her wedding to someone else very soon without my knowledge.

What do I do before I do something crazy?



Hurting Man.





Dear Hurting Man,

The idea of life itself is a huge gamble. That is why some babies simply elect to go back on the day of their birth.

That you are alive is a testimony of your willingness to fight against the odds of life. Every stage and thing that happens to us in life is intended to help us move on to a better and higher level.

There is no teacher like experience. At times it comes with bitter pills but it eventually opens the way for a better choice.

Obviously you misjudged this lady and her interest in you. You were in love with her but she saw in you, an opportunity for her to move on in life.

No matter how hurt or disappointed you are, don’t do anything stupid. She isn’t worth your time and attention. At least, she didn’t allow you to waste your time and money training her through the university before dumping you for another man. Whatever you feel, still thank God for this early exit. It gives you the time and energy to pursue a more viable relationship.

However, the lesson will only make meaning if you look past your pains to what you did wrong as well as the signs you ignored in her.

Sometimes, when we are too much in love, we become careless and blind to signs we should have taken very serious.

Honestly, she wasn’t meant for you else she would never have married another man. Irrespective of the emotional pains you are going through, be glad that she didn’t wait until you are both married to manifest her true feelings towards you. Had she waited till then, it would have been very devastating for you.

See the money you have spent on her so far as one of those gambles we make in life. As a businessman, you should be used to bad investment decisions. This is one of them. Your speculation simply didn’t work. A true businessman rebounds fast so as not to collapse his investment after suffering a set back.

Move on by forgetting her. To you she has become history; a teaching aid used by nature to teach you a fundamental lesson about life and relationship. This kind of lesson is one you don’t forget in a hurry because of its importance to you.

For now, don’t rush into any relationship to enable you get the nasty feel of this experience out of your system.

Besides, having just finished secondary school, you assumed too much and took a huge risk on your future by abandoning your education for her. What makes you think you cannot combine growing your business with going to school?

Whatever her reasons for abandoning you for another man; make a resolution to make it irrelevant in your life by going to school. You will always need the power of knowledge to make your business perform better.

See her treatment of your love and support as the clarion-call for you to revalue your life and make the necessary corrections while you still have the power to.

If you cannot sit for the regular examinations, apply for a part-time programme to give you time to manage your business. The focus on your studies will help remove the thoughts of women from your mind for the time being.



By the time you are ready again to love, you will be doing it from the position of strength and maturity. You failed to notice her true character because you allowed passion to influence your decision. When you are ready for a more serious relationship, you will discover that there are more important qualities to look out for in your partner than those you played up in this relationship.

The funny thing about relationship is, even if both of you went into a written agreement, you cannot force her against her will to remain true to the promise. You cannot report her to the Police.

Don’t forget she went into this relationship of her own free will and she is walking out also of that free will.

There is nothing you can do at this point but to accept the situation as it is. Her parents you could have reported her to, are parties to her decision so allow the matter to rest. This is certainly a blessing in disguise; one you will have reasons to be grateful for.

When you find the right woman; who loves you unconditionally, you will look back at this point in your life, and bless God for His mercy.

Good luck.

More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/left-marry-another-man/

The Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria was on Thursday shocked when the Senator representing Kogi West, Senator Dino Melaye revealed that the frontline communication company in Nigeria; MTN Nigeria has been involved in gross money laundering.

Senator Melaye who made the disclosure under order 42 of the Senate rule was particularly pained, saying that at the crucial moment when the nation is facing economic challenges, all hands must be on deck to recover every loot in the country.

“We are in a precarious situation and now is the time to recover every stolen money in the country,” he said.

Speaking further, Senator Melaye revealed that, “between 2006 and 2016, the MTN Nigeria, in collaboration with 4 commercial banks and with the help of a serving Minister, has moved over $12bn out of this country”.

He also disclosed that if given the opportunity, he would move the substantive motion in the next legislative day, with concrete evidences.

Ruling on the point of order, the Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki granted Dino Melaye the privilege of moving the substantive motion during the senate plenary of Tuesday 27th September.More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/melaye-expose-mtn-moved-12bn-nigeria/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

Men are very treacherous. How unfair can men be to a woman! I am going to be 60 this year and have been married for 40 years. I invested everything I had into this marriage. I am the on

ly child of my parents so I inherited everything they had. When things were very difficult for my

Today, he is quite successful. If anybody had told me that this man I helped to become the success he currently is, would turn round to bite my fingers, I would have called that person a liar.husband and I, the only house they had in Surulere, I sold to enable my husband begin his business.

About two months ago, I went to the United Kingdom to visit my son whose wife just put to bed. While there, one of the wife’s cousin came to visit her. From their discussion, it was obvious that they hadn’t seen in recent time. This cousin apparently lives in the United States with his family.

I really couldn’t say what was so familiar about the cousin but he looked like someone I once met long time ago. I was really curious to know so I asked him about his work, State of origin, his parents and all the things you ask when trying to help the memory recall something from its bank.

My daughter-in-law innocently aided my quest for information as she announced that he shares the same surname as our family name. I was very curious to know so asked him his full name; the same names as my husband’s. I asked him about his mother, who I gathered is from the Caribbean.

I didn’t know what to do because the face I thought was familiar was actually my husband’s. the boy was the replica of my husband. He was more of his mirror image than my son. When I asked how old he was, I discovered he was just three years younger than my first son while his sister and my third were age mates.

Again, my daughter-in-law provided the information about the sister. When I asked him about his father, he said he was fine and presently in Nigerian with his other family.

Further questions reveal that he has told them about his Nigerian family; and how afraid he was of them coming to visit him because of his wife. He said the mother and father were legally married in the United States. When he asked if I knew his father going by the similarities in our surnames, I told him, I would find out from my husband. It was all I could do at that time not to let the secret out of the bag.

Without explaining my reasons, I told my children I was going back to Nigeria the following day.

In the plane by home, I was praying against the reality of what I just heard but it turned out to be the truth. He didn’t bother to hide the truth from me.

His excuse? I never made him feel like a man. Right from the very day I married him, I have always made him feel inferior, never lost the opportunity of reminding him I made him.

He said, I kept stripping him in the presence of the children by my recount of how I sold my father’s house to help him. He attributes the attitude of the children towards him to that.

I am really hurt and confused. I know he is trying to justify what he did by all the excuses about my behavior. Even if I am guilty of all these, is marrying another woman right? His way of repaying me for all I have done for him?

Of his own volition, he personally told the children about his other family. Ironically, my children, especially my sons, I thought would align with me against their father all appear to be blaming me for the situation in my house. My eldest son, actually told me he didn’t blame his father for sourcing for happiness else where. He stopped short of calling me a nag. My only daughter though wasn’t as vocal as the brothers just urged me to take things easy and sort it out with their father.

I have made up my mind to leave and have actually initiated discussion on the ownership of his business since I brought the money for the initial capital. I wont let another woman reap where she didn’t sow. But I need your help, am I doing the right thing?

An old friend of mine thinks, I am going about it the wrong way and that if I am not careful, I risk losing the respect and support of my children? But I cannot allow any woman into my home, the one it took my parents money to establish. It isn’t possible! As it is, he has already used my money to train his other children. What kind of help can you offer me Agatha?

I want you to appreciate that I am a hurt woman who is desperate to keep her inheritance.

Patience.



Dear Patience,

At almost 60, shouldn’t you be more concerned about your peace of mind, making up with your children than fighting over a legacy, your children, from your narration, may do not really need?

Can two wrongs ever be right? Granted, your husband has been unfair to you but don’t you think your current reaction is giving basis for his decision to marry another woman? If your children are not supporting you, actually appear to be giving their father tacit support, can you still say you are right?

There are situations in life when our righteousness can end up be very wrong. In this situation, your justification may not be right at the end of the day.

What is life? What is the essence of marriage? Is it to just have children? We can all give one reason or the other to rationalize our actions but would these excuses stand the test of time, when our actions and the results we get are put side by side?

Yes, you did the right thing, helping to kick start your husband’s success in life but does it merit your constant nagging of him; exposing him to the disdain of the children? If your own children can say those things about you, then you must have been terrible in your quest to ensure their father didn’t forget the side where his bread was buttered.

Marriage is more than a journey of having a good financial base; it is more of a journey of success, respect and tolerance.

Nagging him to remain loyal to you obviously drove him into the arms of another woman; one who knows that a good marriage is more than having plenty of money to spend.



Unwittingly, you created the opportunity for this woman to have a permanent stay in your husband’s life because the resonances of your words were hurting his being. You were making him feel worthless of himself and as a man, he needed to assure himself that he was man enough to command the respect and loyalty of a woman.

Granted, he started with your money but over the years, he invested his time, intellect to making that money a success. If it weren’t for his sound business mind and judgment, do you think, you would have been able to manage that inheritance you pride more than anything else in your world?

If it wasn’t his destiny to be successful, that money would have gone down the drain. What you only did was to give him an early start; he did the rest. If you hadn’t given him the money, someone else would have. God only used you to make His desires for your husband to come to early manifestation.

In your shoes, I would discard any attempt at sharing out the property or leaving the home. To continue with this line of action is to say your 40 years together as a couple have been a complete waste. Deep down, isnt this marriage worth saving despite what he has done to you?

The beauty of life is our ability to learn from our mistakes. At every level in life, we must make conscious effort to do away with the mistakes of the past. There is nothing stopping you from enjoying your marriage by making conscious and positive attempts at correcting the mistakes of the past.

Going ahead with your decision will further cause a disharmony between you and your children on one hand, and your husband on the other hand.

Take advantage of your chance meeting with your step children to mend the wounds your attitude and utterances have caused in your home. To do otherwise is to become a very lonely woman in life. As it stands, your children already have their own families, ones if you stay longer than necessary will become uncomfortable with you your husband too has a wife and children to fill his space too. Your leaving the house will give him the freedom he needs to fully integrate his family into his life. Old age gives us the opportunity to count our loses, adjust our lives to accommodate the many imperfections of life.

There is nothing love cannot forgive. Become the rallying point for your family. His other wife and children will never take your place if you are wise and know how to patch things up. Rather than fight him, encourage discussion, this way you will know what went wrong as well as how to manage all the new challenges without becoming the ultimate victim.

By being close to God, you make things easier for you to manage.



Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/he-betrayed-me/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



I have been married for just nine months and my husband is already getting tired of having sex.

Since January this year, I can count the number of times we have had sex. I have tried getting him to talk about any problem he might be having but he keeps assuring me there is nothing wrong.

But when I make the move to indicate my desire for us to make love, he shouts at me that I’m disturbing his sleep; even to cuddle me appears to be a huge problem for him. Funny enough, before we got married, we were making love frequently.

What got me bothered enough to ask for your help was what he said some few days ago when I complained. He accused me of being too interested in sex for my own good. He doesn’t even kiss me except to peck me on his way out or when he comes in.

The funny thing about all these is that he is attentive to me. He calls me even when I don’t call him during office hours; wants to do how I’m doing at any given time and talks to me about his office and friends. I know my husband sufficiently well to know he isn’t the kind that goes about acquiring girlfriends. This is why I don’t understand his disinterest in having sex with me.

I’m really confused because there is no way I can go outside my home for fun. In my culture, any woman who goes outside her marriage for sex risks losing her life or that of her husband.

Agatha, who do I tell my problem to? How does one begin to complain about sex to people? Will they also not accuse me like my husband is doing that I am oversexed? I’m so confused. My baby is seven months old. I was pregnant when we got married.

I don’t ever want to be unfaithful to my husband. Please help me.



Nehita.





Dear Nehita,

So many factors can make a man develop apathy towards sex. First and foremost, his nature; he may not be the kind of man that gets his kicks through sex. Despite what many women think, not all men have huge appetite for sex. The fact that he appeared sexually active during your courtship days doesn’t mean he has a very huge hunger for sexual pleasures.

Also it could be finance related. For instance, if he is having money related challenges, it could affect his interest in sex. Unlike women; the average man’s desire for sex can be adversely affected by whatever challenge he is going through. A man needs maximum peace of mind to have a good hungriness for sex. This has to do with the external nature of the male anatomy, which is stimulated by sight. The vision of a man with plenty of challenging issues cannot concentrate on the female body long enough to get excited. Sometimes, they remember how good a woman’s body can be but when it comes to doing the act, they lose every interest once the mind drifts to the problem nagging at his heart.

Unlike in a relationship where the woman can afford to take a walk; this is marriage, which means you, have to find ways of getting at the problem chewing up your husband.

And it isn’t by nagging but by being understanding and friendly.

Since you know your vows and culture forbid you from seeking sexual relieve outside your home; it behooves you then to work very hard to get the kind of sex you want from this marriage.

To avoid any point of disagreement, allow the matter rest for now. Although it can be very difficult getting sex out of the mind once it occupies a space especially as you have to sleep next to him every night but, you still have to try to be sensible about it so he doesn’t have a wrong impression about you.

Unless a man is out of love; he will always come back to the woman he loves once he is able to clear out his mind of whatever problem is biting him.

This is why you must change your tactics but not the game of getting him back into your arms. Rather than base all your questions on sex; ask him about his work; what is going on in his place of work; the management of the place; the politics within the organization and between various managers. Also ask him about his position in all these; the group he belongs to and how strong the group is when it comes to security of his job.

Sometimes, the problem may not be the obvious but the mundane things that appear unimportant but when left unattended to, could transcend the office and permeate the peace of the home.

This is why you must step out of the wife mode to be the friend he needs to unburden his mind to. If you don’t know how to begin; make up an imaginary problem affecting a friend. Tell him you are confused as to how to handle the problem this friend wants your help with.

In discussing this friend’s problem; make reference to your own office politics before zeroing on his own experiences in his office. Keep your eyes opened for the things he isn’t saying but which are bothering him.

Removing attention from him will help him open up unconsciously on his own office challenges. Sometimes men are unwilling to talk about their fears, insecurity so as not to make their wives worry about them. It is all in line with that traditional male ego.

If the problem is with his make up as a man; then you have to find ways of stimulating his interest on those few times he wants to make love. Give him something to remember to encourage him to come back for more.

Remember, you are not aiming at quantity but quality whenever you both come together. Ensure you are prepared by giving him the total package.

Whatever cultural hang-ups you may have against certain aspect of sex, must be buried in your quest to give you and your man that something extra special in your love life. The more you are able to make him relax, overcome whatever may have instigated his lukewarm attitude to sex, the more times he would come back to you.

Therefore, you have to forget whatever he has said or would say to you in the process of weaning him of his attitude to sex. If you store any hurtful word he has said to you in your memory bank, you will never find a solution around this major challenge.

Be rest assured that we all carry secret cans in our marriages. No man or woman has it all; it is only that perfect determination to stay married that makes the burden light for us to handle.

Being a lifetime journey; you cannot afford to nag too much else you make the whole experience frightening for him and boring for you. I’m sure that isn’t your intentions.

By being understanding and gentle even in your anger, you make it possible for him to realize and appreciate the danger he is putting your marriage in if he consistently refuses to have sex with you.


Because you haven’t tried hard enough to solve the problem on your own, don’t for now report him to anybody. Rather take his case to God through prayers.

Furthermore, reporting the case to his parents or yours would only make him withdraw from you further. No man likes his sexuality exposed. But if you use your wisdom and sense of imagination to get him to realize he could lose you if he persists, it will make your home more peaceful.

To also get him to remember he is with a woman; become more sexy in your choice of outfits when you are around him; including sinfully sexy night-wears; those kinds that tell their own stories. Can you recall his favourite romantic songs? If you don’t, try to find out from his friends or him. It helps a troubled marriage to go down memory lane for inspirations on the way forward.

Even if he is having an affair; don’t give up on your marriage. You are licensed by virtue of being married to use everything that makes you a woman to lure your husband into your arms.

Only few men can resist a sex siren. Bring out all your ammunitions and use them to remind him of the basic fact that you are a woman, his wife, friend, mother of his children and his life companion.



Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/he-denies-me-sex/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,



I have been married for just nine months and my husband is already getting tired of having sex.

Since January this year, I can count the number of times we have had sex. I have tried getting him to talk about any problem he might be having but he keeps assuring me there is nothing wrong.

But when I make the move to indicate my desire for us to make love, he shouts at me that I’m disturbing his sleep; even to cuddle me appears to be a huge problem for him. Funny enough, before we got married, we were making love frequently.

What got me bothered enough to ask for your help was what he said some few days ago when I complained. He accused me of being too interested in sex for my own good. He doesn’t even kiss me except to peck me on his way out or when he comes in.

The funny thing about all these is that he is attentive to me. He calls me even when I don’t call him during office hours; wants to do how I’m doing at any given time and talks to me about his office and friends. I know my husband sufficiently well to know he isn’t the kind that goes about acquiring girlfriends. This is why I don’t understand his disinterest in having sex with me.

I’m really confused because there is no way I can go outside my home for fun. In my culture, any woman who goes outside her marriage for sex risks losing her life or that of her husband.

Agatha, who do I tell my problem to? How does one begin to complain about sex to people? Will they also not accuse me like my husband is doing that I am oversexed? I’m so confused. My baby is seven months old. I was pregnant when we got married.

I don’t ever want to be unfaithful to my husband. Please help me.



Nehita.





Dear Nehita,

So many factors can make a man develop apathy towards sex. First and foremost, his nature; he may not be the kind of man that gets his kicks through sex. Despite what many women think, not all men have huge appetite for sex. The fact that he appeared sexually active during your courtship days doesn’t mean he has a very huge hunger for sexual pleasures.

Also it could be finance related. For instance, if he is having money related challenges, it could affect his interest in sex. Unlike women; the average man’s desire for sex can be adversely affected by whatever challenge he is going through. A man needs maximum peace of mind to have a good hungriness for sex. This has to do with the external nature of the male anatomy, which is stimulated by sight. The vision of a man with plenty of challenging issues cannot concentrate on the female body long enough to get excited. Sometimes, they remember how good a woman’s body can be but when it comes to doing the act, they lose every interest once the mind drifts to the problem nagging at his heart.

Unlike in a relationship where the woman can afford to take a walk; this is marriage, which means you, have to find ways of getting at the problem chewing up your husband.

And it isn’t by nagging but by being understanding and friendly.

Since you know your vows and culture forbid you from seeking sexual relieve outside your home; it behooves you then to work very hard to get the kind of sex you want from this marriage.

To avoid any point of disagreement, allow the matter rest for now. Although it can be very difficult getting sex out of the mind once it occupies a space especially as you have to sleep next to him every night but, you still have to try to be sensible about it so he doesn’t have a wrong impression about you.

Unless a man is out of love; he will always come back to the woman he loves once he is able to clear out his mind of whatever problem is biting him.

This is why you must change your tactics but not the game of getting him back into your arms. Rather than base all your questions on sex; ask him about his work; what is going on in his place of work; the management of the place; the politics within the organization and between various managers. Also ask him about his position in all these; the group he belongs to and how strong the group is when it comes to security of his job.

Sometimes, the problem may not be the obvious but the mundane things that appear unimportant but when left unattended to, could transcend the office and permeate the peace of the home.

This is why you must step out of the wife mode to be the friend he needs to unburden his mind to. If you don’t know how to begin; make up an imaginary problem affecting a friend. Tell him you are confused as to how to handle the problem this friend wants your help with.

In discussing this friend’s problem; make reference to your own office politics before zeroing on his own experiences in his office. Keep your eyes opened for the things he isn’t saying but which are bothering him.

Removing attention from him will help him open up unconsciously on his own office challenges. Sometimes men are unwilling to talk about their fears, insecurity so as not to make their wives worry about them. It is all in line with that traditional male ego.

If the problem is with his make up as a man; then you have to find ways of stimulating his interest on those few times he wants to make love. Give him something to remember to encourage him to come back for more.

Remember, you are not aiming at quantity but quality whenever you both come together. Ensure you are prepared by giving him the total package.

Whatever cultural hang-ups you may have against certain aspect of sex, must be buried in your quest to give you and your man that something extra special in your love life. The more you are able to make him relax, overcome whatever may have instigated his lukewarm attitude to sex, the more times he would come back to you.

Therefore, you have to forget whatever he has said or would say to you in the process of weaning him of his attitude to sex. If you store any hurtful word he has said to you in your memory bank, you will never find a solution around this major challenge.

Be rest assured that we all carry secret cans in our marriages. No man or woman has it all; it is only that perfect determination to stay married that makes the burden light for us to handle.

Being a lifetime journey; you cannot afford to nag too much else you make the whole experience frightening for him and boring for you. I’m sure that isn’t your intentions.

By being understanding and gentle even in your anger, you make it possible for him to realize and appreciate the danger he is putting your marriage in if he consistently refuses to have sex with you.


Because you haven’t tried hard enough to solve the problem on your own, don’t for now report him to anybody. Rather take his case to God through prayers.

Furthermore, reporting the case to his parents or yours would only make him withdraw from you further. No man likes his sexuality exposed. But if you use your wisdom and sense of imagination to get him to realize he could lose you if he persists, it will make your home more peaceful.

To also get him to remember he is with a woman; become more sexy in your choice of outfits when you are around him; including sinfully sexy night-wears; those kinds that tell their own stories. Can you recall his favourite romantic songs? If you don’t, try to find out from his friends or him. It helps a troubled marriage to go down memory lane for inspirations on the way forward.

Even if he is having an affair; don’t give up on your marriage. You are licensed by virtue of being married to use everything that makes you a woman to lure your husband into your arms.

Only few men can resist a sex siren. Bring out all your ammunitions and use them to remind him of the basic fact that you are a woman, his wife, friend, mother of his children and his life companion.



Good luck.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/he-denies-me-sex/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I am very confused and don’t know what to do. For over 15 years, things have not worked in any relationship I go into. I know I failed only one man; that was 12 years ago. Since then, things have not worked out for me.

I am fed up of being depressed. What can I do?



Depressed Woman.



Dear Depressed Woman,

A combination of things could be responsible for this development in your life. It could be spiritual, physical or combination of both.

Your allusion to the man you failed 12 years ago maybe the beginning of your present predicament. What happened between the two of you? What kinds of pains did you inflict on this man? Under what circumstances did you end the relationship? Did he deserve what you did to him?

There is nothing wrong in ending a relationship but if done unjustly, especially if the other person has been of extreme value, done exceptional things in the life of the other person, chances are the offending party may never enjoy the mercy of God to have a partner that will be so caring.

Many a time, certain things we take for granted are the same things that come back to hunt us. there is the need for you to go down memory lane to this relationship. If your problem started after then, there is the possibility that you cannot out of tune.

Were you unfaithful to him? What kind of man was he? What was the reason for your dating him? Did you leave him after getting what you wanted from him or left him for a man you considered better?

This is that point one gets to in life and the truth becomes inevitable. You may succeed in deceiving everybody but you cannot afford to lie to yourself on this matter. If you did anything to this man, you shouldn’t have done, go and make peace with God and the man.

Look for him to beg him for whatever you wrong you did to him. Certain things are inexplicable on life and until we take the right step, we would appear to be moving in circles. In begging him for forgiveness, you liberate yourself from the consequences of the actions you took years back.

If you don’t know where he is, go to God in prayers for help.

In addition, it might be of help to look at the histories of the women in your family. Sometimes, a certain pattern emerges in the lives of members of a particular family that others soon take as the symbol of that family. How many women in your family have similar tales to tell? How easy is it for the women in your family to commence and sustain a relationship? If three or more women in your family have gone through similar situations, a pattern is emerging and you must pray to God for help to escape.



Another possibility could come from the mistakes of either of your parents. At times the decisions or actions of parents wait in the future to hunt their children. Only God provides the insight to help one defeat this kind of battle. So don’t be far from your knees.

Then it could be your attitude. This is something prayer cannot resolve for you. Ask yourself, if you were a man, would you date a woman like you? Sometimes we are our own stumbling blocks to success in life. It could come from your attitude, the way you address men and others around you, your approach to issues or playing up things that you shouldn’t. Chances are if you are looking at the wrong direction for your Mr. Right, you may never notice him when he comes in another direction. Learn to be realistic in the choices you make.

In all, be very close to God.





Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/relationships-not-smooth/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

I am very confused and don’t know what to do. For over 15 years, things have not worked in any relationship I go into. I know I failed only one man; that was 12 years ago. Since then, things have not worked out for me.

I am fed up of being depressed. What can I do?



Depressed Woman.



Dear Depressed Woman,

A combination of things could be responsible for this development in your life. It could be spiritual, physical or combination of both.

Your allusion to the man you failed 12 years ago maybe the beginning of your present predicament. What happened between the two of you? What kinds of pains did you inflict on this man? Under what circumstances did you end the relationship? Did he deserve what you did to him?

There is nothing wrong in ending a relationship but if done unjustly, especially if the other person has been of extreme value, done exceptional things in the life of the other person, chances are the offending party may never enjoy the mercy of God to have a partner that will be so caring.

Many a time, certain things we take for granted are the same things that come back to hunt us. there is the need for you to go down memory lane to this relationship. If your problem started after then, there is the possibility that you cannot out of tune.

Were you unfaithful to him? What kind of man was he? What was the reason for your dating him? Did you leave him after getting what you wanted from him or left him for a man you considered better?

This is that point one gets to in life and the truth becomes inevitable. You may succeed in deceiving everybody but you cannot afford to lie to yourself on this matter. If you did anything to this man, you shouldn’t have done, go and make peace with God and the man.

Look for him to beg him for whatever you wrong you did to him. Certain things are inexplicable on life and until we take the right step, we would appear to be moving in circles. In begging him for forgiveness, you liberate yourself from the consequences of the actions you took years back.

If you don’t know where he is, go to God in prayers for help.

In addition, it might be of help to look at the histories of the women in your family. Sometimes, a certain pattern emerges in the lives of members of a particular family that others soon take as the symbol of that family. How many women in your family have similar tales to tell? How easy is it for the women in your family to commence and sustain a relationship? If three or more women in your family have gone through similar situations, a pattern is emerging and you must pray to God for help to escape.



Another possibility could come from the mistakes of either of your parents. At times the decisions or actions of parents wait in the future to hunt their children. Only God provides the insight to help one defeat this kind of battle. So don’t be far from your knees.

Then it could be your attitude. This is something prayer cannot resolve for you. Ask yourself, if you were a man, would you date a woman like you? Sometimes we are our own stumbling blocks to success in life. It could come from your attitude, the way you address men and others around you, your approach to issues or playing up things that you shouldn’t. Chances are if you are looking at the wrong direction for your Mr. Right, you may never notice him when he comes in another direction. Learn to be realistic in the choices you make.

In all, be very close to God.





Good luck.
More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/relationships-not-smooth/

With Auntie Agatha

Dear Agatha,

Please I need your help, I am having the serious problem of quick ejaculation and this naturally, has been causing serious problem in my home. My wife is forever complaining about my performances. I have tried everything to cure it, including losing a lot of money to people who claim to have all cures, both orthodox and herbal medicines. Painfully, nothing has happened. Please help me find a solution. Save my marriage, Agatha.



Desperate Man.



Dear Desperate Man,

Sorry I cannot answer your question as well as several men who have sent this kinds of letters to me, early enough.

Although in the past, we have attempted to answer this kind of question through the help of our doctor friends but we have discovered that the problem appears to be on the increase raising fears that it might have to do with the kinds of food we are eating these days.

Actually my several researches actually give credence to the possibility that men may be suffering this condition due to poor diet combinations. Majority of men may actually be lacking the right mineral combination to stimulate enough blood flow to their anatomy. It is an established scientific fact that for the male organ to perform the way it was programmed by God, it has to have enough blood supply to awaken it from slumber. It therefore follows that for it to perform at full capacity it must have enough blood supply during its duties.

Therefore, if it is not getting enough blood to stay functional, something is obviously wrong with the process that gives blood to that region of the body. We all know from basic biology or health science that blood supply to the body, is fuelled by vitamins, amino acids and enzymes, the major reason doctors and health experts keep harping on the essence of fruits and vegetable in our diets.

Amino acids, vitamins and enzymes are the agents that make our bodies perform at full capacity. This is because they come with all the essential minerals required by our bodies to stay healthy.

This is where nutritionists come in. They are trained to tell us the kinds of mineral combinations and classification we need for our bodies to stay healthy.



There is no way your wife would not complain because your body is expected to perform its functions to her as at when due.

Go and see your doctor outside his consulting room; when he has time to listen more as a friend than when he has others competing for his attention.

Engage him in a discussion of the functions of amino acids, enzymes and vitamins to our bodies. Tell him to help you get the combination that will stimulate more blood supply to your anatomy. You are desperate to find a solution, so be determined to do something differently by befriending your doctor so he would have patience to think along with you and go the extra mile to ask and read on how this problem can be solved.

If you depend on his normal office hours, you may not find solutions; not because he doesn’t want to help you but that he has no profound reasons to go the extra mile.



Good luckMore: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/experience-quick-ejaculation/

There is no denying that the traditional African man believes all chores in the home are the sole responsibility of women. But then, some others are of the opinion that helping hands should be given to women especially in this era of role reversal in which a lot of women not only contribute to the running of the home financially but in many cases have taken over as bread winners.

In this report by Our Correspondent writes about men’s new responsibilities at home aside providing ‘bread’.

Recently at a Beauty Parlour in Lagos, two married women met and while ‘jiving’, one of them Funke Ayodele, mother of two who works in one of the new generation Banks couldn’t stop praising her husband who she referred to “Adeorimi” (My Crown) to high heavens. Ayodele told her girlfriend, Chigozie Oke that her husband who is also a banker assist her in doing some home chores.

But Oke however is not on the lucky side as this mother of one lamented how her husband lives her to do all the chores without appreciating her efforts. “I am not enjoying my marriage at all. He won’t even appreciate me even if I work 24hours. He says it is his duty to provide money while I do the house chores.

He told me that his father was like that and that is how African men are to behave. Though I noticed this before we got married, I thought he will change but five years after our wedding, it is not getting better. I know he can do it but he just don’t want to lift a finger for me at home. He is very caring but he will never help with house chores”, Oke lamented.

Does helping out with house chores make men more responsible or is it just Africa’s culture that men should never partake in housekeeping?
Should men who don’t see reason helping their wives with chores be castigated or labelled “irresponsible”?

We sought the opinion of Banke Akabueze and she said, “I grew up knowing that a man will always be different from a woman. I’ve got two kids, work in a bank and we have never been lucky with house helps.

So I wake up by 4am, prepare meals for everyone, bathe the kids and try to be at work before 7am. I come back from work at about 8pm and have some chores to attend to before bed time. Without any discussions or quarrel my husband changed his pattern.

“He leaves his business as early as 5pm to go pick the kids, he bathe them, feeds them, helps them with homework, if their nails need cutting he handles that. He also does our laundry.

I talked to him once about it because I wasn’t comfortable with it because I don’t think it’s right my husband doing all that but his response humbled me.

He said ‘I am doing it because I want and it’s the right thing to do! I don’t expect you coming back from work and stressed before sleeping’! There are very simple ways to get our men to love and assist us but if we keep trying to shove ‘gender equality’ down their throat, that’s a recipe for disaster!”

Amara Brown, a Nigerian-based in United Kingdom believes it is not out of place if a man gives a helping hand in doing some home chores but she maintained it is not the sole responsibility of men and so women should not expect it but rather appreciate when men assist in doing chores.

Hear her, “This is Africa, a man spent hundreds of Naira to marry you and there you want to protect your own rights. You are African and your husband is one of those raised to believe that the woman owns and controls the affairs of the kitchen.

You knew these when you married him and suddenly you are fighting him for not trying to help out in the kitchen. If you fail to find out the best way to humbly and with respect, get your husband to help in the kitchen, get ready to carry placard to the United Nations building in New York.

“We are Africans and the fact that you live in a different society doesn’t make you one of them. Even my father in the village helps and sometimes cooks for us, but it’s all for fun and because he loves my mum. My mum does not control him but she runs his head through submission.

The easiest way to get your husband, not just to wash plates but to mop the whole house and do your laundry without machine, is through submission.” Brown said in a conversation with our reporter.

She added that African women should not believe in some ideologies, which do not go with African belief on marriage.
Though still single, Tolutope Idowu who herself is very homely and domesticated vowed when chatting with our reporter on social media never to marry a man who doesn’t believe in helping out with chores.

According to Idowu, such men have wrong mentality. “Once in a while, and you shouldn’t have to beg for this, your husband should help out a little around the house. I won’t marry a man that thinks it’s an abomination to help out around the house.

I work as hard as you do for this same family, please help me out too. What some people forget is that culture can stop outside the gate. In your home, your rules are what you live by,” Idowu opined.

Just like Brown, Linda Ajetunmobi a marriage coach said, it bores down to submission on the path of the woman. Ajetunmobi who has been married for over four decades lamented that most ladies are not submissive while some want to be the head in their homes.

“I welcome civilization and constant refinement of the society where the man can lend a helping hand with some of the chores when he is free or feel like doing it; but not authoritatively from the woman. It is all fall back to submission and understanding though.

“When you are tired or wanted someone to help you like bringing down the kettle from the gas because you are busy doing another thing, you can lovingly call your husband to please help you out, any responsible man will help. I believe that a healthy marriage relationship should be based on love, companionship, respect, understanding and tolerance.

In totality all of these mentioned virtues if applied properly helps in the general day to day running of a home be it in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in raising God fearing children and even when a couple is faced with trials and challenges in their Marriage. Women should apply wisdom, if you don’t have pray for it.

As a woman, you should know that attitude that melts the heart of your man, always show him that attitude and you will have him on your palm,” she said.
Habibat Salihu has different view on the subject matter. Salihu in her opinion believes a man as a matter of necessity ought to help with house cores.

“Submission is something I hear only from people who think that life doesn’t exist outside marriage so they put themselves through hell just to stay in it. The demography has shifted a lot.

African women nowadays contribute and assist their men even during wedding. If in 2015, African men will expect their women to work and assist in paying the bills which is technically not our culture since we want to go back to the Stone Age , then the men should be ready to modify their role descriptions and assist women in areas like in the kitchen .

During the time African women’s place belonged to the kitchen, the men were working and were the sole bread winners of the family. But things have changed and so the role modifications , I won’t go to work , bring the pay home for us , cook , clean , take care of the kids and also be an acrobatic wife in the bedroom for you .I am saying no to slavery”, she noted.

Marriage is still meant to be a relationship between two consenting adults and not some sort of draconian institution where a man is seen sitting on a high and mighty dictatorial chair with the woman on the other end having her fists and ankles in chains.

No two persons are the same and so no two marriages are the same as what works for one person may not work for the other. for women, submission may still be the key even if they are the breadwinner.

More: http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/45365/

The Bank of England introduced its first plastic banknotes on Tuesday, with a new five pound entering circulation in England and Wales featuring World War Two leader Winston Churchill. Reuters Report.

The new notes, which will trickle through to the country’s cash machines and banks over the coming weeks, are made of polymer, a thin and flexible plastic, which is cleaner, less harmful to the environment and harder to forge than current cotton-based notes, according to the central bank.

“The use of polymer means it can better withstand being repeatedly folded into wallets or scrunched up inside pockets and can also survive a spin in the washing machine”, BoE Governor Mark Carney said in a statement.

The notes are expected to last around two-and-a-half times as long as their predecessors.

Scotland has had a limited amount of its own plastic five pound notes in circulation since March 2015, with mass issuance planned for October 2016.

Britain is one of the largest economies to adopt plastic banknotes and they are already in circulation in Canada, Mexico, New Zealand and Australia.

A new plastic 10-pound note featuring the author of “Pride and Prejudice”, Jane Austen, will appear in 2017 and 19th century artist J.M.W. Turner, most famous for his seascapes, is due to feature on a plastic 20-pound note from 2020.


More:http://newsherald.com.ng/2016/09/first-plastic-banknotes-enter-circulation-england-wales/