₦airaland Forum

C

Had to create a new moniker for this. And because yours truly also reads Nairaland, I won't go too detailed and will keep it short so she won't decipher it. There is a serious problem giving me sleepless nights. I don't know what to do again. It's not money, it's love. Love wants to kill me. It goes like this….................


I once met a girl years ago, let me call her C and I swear I was the type that never believed in love at first sight but I don't know wtf happened to me or how it happened I just fell in love like that. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I toasted her or something, it started like this she walked up to me at a grocery store and said hello. I just Hi'd back and moved on, only got a little glimpsed of her face because that night I had a lot it my mind and talking to a stranger wasn't my thing to begin with, neither was I in the mood that night. Days later, we meet again, this time, still a casual chat but this time around I saw her well and my God she was just it. I don't know how, but it was like love at first sight hit me so hard, like Cupid shot me a billion arrows, like someone blew some sparkle dust into my eyes and I just felt love so strong so deep that moment - I knew it. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about lust nor is it about physical attraction primarily. No doubt she was pretty af, aswerugawd, but she wasn't my type really. My type is the busty, curvy, big round soft jiggly 4-dimensional ass, dark or brown, slender tall. She didn't have none of that. We was just plain like a 2-dimensional 9ja flag, but to be fair, her eyes got me, she had the most prettiest eyes ever. Can't go into details of the eyes, so as not to expose too much, but trust me, her eyes were angelic, not the every day type you see. Later same week I think, maybe like 4 days after, I see this pretty girl and I was like damn, let me just chyke this babe, didn't even know we had met before that evening, didn't recollect at first. Looking back now, I think it was fate that brought her to me somehow, I don't even know how to explain. I'm not the type that goes around place to place chyking females. I'm a proud mudafuka, lol, quite handsome too, well at least, no girl has ever called me ugly before. So for me to chyke a girl, something must be different about her, as in something must stand out about her from the rest. And that something for me is not big ass or big boobs, even though l like these . For me, it's graceful simplicity, and being natural. But this wasn't just it, in her case, looking back now, I see the initial attraction was because she reminded me of or looked like my ex. You know we all have that one ex that even though we ex's but you still like them for who they are, like for the kind of person they are and things didn't work out not because you guys had a fall out or fight so to speak but things didn't work out because life took you on separate journeys and you couldn't keep up with the lovey dovey long distance love ish anymore. So you just decide to switch to just being good friends. And this my ex, was also this simple, no-makeup drop-dead pretty af Cinderella innocent, mermaid Ariel singing kinda girl. She (C) was just like that After, in fact even better, like a goddamn upgrade. So this girl C, she was the simple fashion, natural looks, natural hair, modest, decent, classy type of lady and those kind of things get me all the time as far as attraction goes. Those are the kind of ladies I want to start something deep with, not all the slay queens that are just one-night stand material as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, she responds like we met couple of days ago, but you were cold kinda cold and unwelcoming, but er, I was like, really, I don't kinda remember like that, maybe it was one of those days I got off work too tired (but it was due to a bad mood sha). Good thing we get a second chance, so let's do it right, lol, so we get talking, convo was slick and fun, exchanged numbers, bla bla bla. Fast forward, we start getting real close, I was so fucking dead mad in love with her, she also, a little less than mine tho, to be honest. We had mind blowing unforgettable sex once, I was so deep into her but i swear it was not the sex, it wasn't her eyes, it wasn't her shape, it wasn't her height, not her looks, it had nothing to do with any tangibility. I just loved her in a way I couldn't explain, it was magical, it was growing each and every fucking day. If you have never loved someone in way that you just couldn't explain it, then you won't understand. There was nothing I couldn't do for her, nothing i couldn't forgive, there was nothing I couldn't give, figuratively speaking tho, because she doesn't even ask for anything, the type that is content with was she has and lives within her means. I knew they had finally got me, this guy that never falls for girls easily, when I couldn't stay mad at her for long. Like I'm freaking hot tempered. Get me angry and watch yourself burn in the flames of my temper, lol. But I became so soft when it came to her, I would get angry and turn to the Hulk but she always had that thing about her that would make me ditch the green in a short time. She was humble and soft spoken, and she knew how to calm me down. So I was into her totally. Everything was cool till fast forward, life happened. C and her family moved to the Europe. It was the most emotional time of my life, for both of us. She left. We talk everyday like WhatsApp but at a point I felt I had to move on because I'm not the type to stay in emotional bondage for too long and didn't want no heartbreaks. Fast forward, i cut off communication, just to help move on, not like we fought or anything like that. But it was so hard to move on. No girl could fill her space or take her space. Until fast forward, I met this new girl H. Like omg, the type every man dreams about, fine at, in fact prettier than C, big boobs (milk factory), thick, black with pink lips, taller than C, goofy and fun to be with. Like the kind of girl when you're with, there always loads of guys chasing her every single day. Oh, and she got a fat ass, not perfectly round tho, but big. Overall, she's like a 9.5/10. Guys won't let her rest, but somehow share, she's in love with me. She loves me more than I love her. Bottom line is, for H, the attraction was physically based, it was about her pretty looks, her intelligence, her sociability but for C, it was straight from the heart. What I mean is, if H didn't have big boobs, or drop dead fine, or sexy af, or intelligent and with good oratory skills, I won't have dated her. That is , I'm dating her because she's my specs, the kinda woman I want. But for C, I swear k can't explain, I don't date short girls, but she's short and for the first time in my life it didn't matter. No curves, it didn't matter, small boobs, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, I just loved her the way she was and accepted her like that 100%. I'm trying g so hard here to highlight the subtle differences of how I feel between the two. Anyways, fast forward, H, loves me like crazy, I love her too but not as much as she loves me. I love C like crazy, she loves me too but not as much as I love her. Now the problem is H is like 6 months plus pregnant. I didn't want the baby, but she did, she wanted to keep me by all means. She knows I'm in love with C, so she took a drastic act. C wants me back, as in marriage. C said she never knew how much I meant to her until we were apart. Her relationships there didn't work, she's tired of trying, no one loves her like I do or did. I can relate because it was the same thing with me before I met H. No other girl worked. I'm planning to relocate to Europe. I love C more than H, H loves me more than C. My mind says H but my heart says C. I've never been so confused in my life. I don't know what to do again. I can't marry two wives, can I? I'm a Christian, plus I really don't want 2 wives. Please help me before love kills me. What do I do? Is there a a way out of this mess. I might love them both unequally but I love them both enough to don't want neither of them getting hurt. I still can't comprehend how I got into this situation. Are the gods playing chess with my love life?