₦airaland Forum

the place is lacking girls of my spec unfortunately.

rusher14: You wear the shoe and you know where it pinches.

People of quality look for people of quality.

I've had your experience and i understand where you are coming from.

Don't listen to many here who want you to settle for less...broken homes are made of such!

Try the local libraries, Universities and professional circuits.

If all else fails try the hospitals (seen lots of pretty nurses and they are hard working too ).

Take up new hobbies as well it could help you take your mind off things (again the possibility you'll meet someone interesting).

I can imagine how frustrating it could be. so i'll say you need to be patient and open-minded.

Thanks bro. Been doing this. Will continue. The pool ain't here seriously.

khiaa: You are egotistical and lazy, and just because you are educated doesn't mean you are a decent man. You are what we call in the black community, an educated fool.

Mind your language sister. I prefer not to drive 4-6 hours searching for babe.How is that laziness? How am I an educated fool? please stop hating unnecessarily ok.

jeffizy: Baba, seems u need a companion real bad.
Since u are in N.Y, u have to stretch a bit by getting into NYC once in a while.
Our girls full there like sand.

NYC is 4-6 hours from me. I wouldn't want to be commuting because of babe.

kajole: Pictures please

what do u need my picture for

CastingCrowns: city dont have a name?

Somewhere in the damned state of new york. It is no new york city.

190: have you tried some nairaland yankee babes around here


like ermmm . . . babe

if there was a pool of Nigerian girls to choose from , I wont come on nairaland. I need a babe within my new damned city. Was in a long distance relationship with gf from previous city I lived.

jeffizy: Hehehe...
@Op, You got served! Unfortunately, you got it cold.
Check the local churches, you will find them waiting with a Godly smile.

BTW .. Are you in Philadelphia or Cheyenne?

Be like Johnnie.... Keep walking!

Am not in philadelphia. Churches are even worse here. Only old people go to churches here. The few decent girls there are married.

okpara ugo: Yeah the poor girls are beautiful while the rich ones are ugly. Even in Nigeria...you hardly have both...

So make a choice...

it is not about the poor being beautiful and the rich ugly. Re read my first post.It is the damned city.

khiaa: Why are you looking for women in nite clubs and how do you know the women are alcoholics and drug users without getting to know them? I think my black sistas may not be attracted to you. I think you should try harder for the white girls, they may be more suitable for you since you find so much wrong in the black women you meet. Don't give up on the white girls because all of them can't be racist. Trust me, there are alot of white girls who would love to have an african man like you, besides your whole post is nothing but stereotypes against african americans. Why don't you look for nigerian girls or are they not decent also?

I have lived in other places in the US, and they are not like this place.I feel like running away. I wasn't looking for girls in nite clubs. I just stated an observation.

Mrs.Chima:
Why do some Africans claim to come from better environments always ends up in. bleeped up placez abroad?

I live in America and my area is nothing like OP described and it's strongly minority non-white area.

I guess you attracts what you are.

I am a decent, up and coming educated young man. I doubt the problem is me. There is just no pool to choose from.

I came to the wrong city in America. You won't believe it I am yet to find a decent girlfriend. When I mean decent, i mean wife material. A black Slender,busty,bummy, educated and middle class girl will be perfect for me. A oyibo babe with such features will be ok. However,I find the oyibo babes here to be unfriendly. The friendly ones are obese and overweight. In addition they are bumless and unsexy looking. Indeed they are unfriendly. They are afraid of black males. Some of my friends will just go on and say they are racist. However, the history of blacks in this city makes the oyibo folks to be unfriendly and aloof to black folks. The city has a high population of poor African Americans. High crime rate is also associated with the black folks too. Every evening news bulletin has a the picture of a young black criminal beaming. Black girls that fit my taste are very rare. The ones I think are good for me, are always already taken,married or in a relationship.Like I said most of the black people in this city are poor.Ghetto. Unfortunately for me, most of the black Slender,busty and bummy girls are not educated. I see them in the club and other areas. They have low wage paying jobs. Janitors and caregivers. Most of them are alcoholics and drug users.The educated ones aren't that beautiful either. It is like it was designed that only the not too beautiful, overweight and pimple faced black girls are to be educated. While the slender and sexy ones prefer to be baby mammas to the city thugs and jobless black brothers. If not for my contractual agreement tying me up in this city I would have run away a long time ago. Nigerian brothers that have experienced this kind of city, please advise a brother on how to wade through this situation.

Longeria: sharaaaaaaaaaap, Mr AYINDE was sentenced 90 years imprisonment in America for raping his daughters and making babies with them. I think it's Ngozi or Nneka that caused it abi?

true

Skinni10ne: You did not answer my questions...
How was my post wrong?

you agreed with the poster that said you are what you attract. But then went on to say your own view. You are wrong for agreeing not your view. Your suggestions are ok. I am sure you are one those too I will see and might not like.lol.just kidding. It seems like you are super skinny for your moniker to be skinnyone.lol

ok

The job was with a news media outfit that covers Africa and the affairs of the black Diaspora. It was fashionable, in every sense, that media company. Funded by big-name multinationals, Third World saviors, it sought to tackle malfeasance and corruption with heavy handed, not always credible citizen reportage. The company had made its name among particular Westerners and Fela-loving expatriate Africans, students of the school of thought that says African governments need a total sociopolitical upheaval to weed out the kleptocrats before anything substantial can be planted, plug in the former student union grassroots activists who give a care about the proletariat, slum dwellers, retired civil servants, and unemployed twenty somethings. A single-handed crusade propelled by American dollars and mercenary Africaphiles, this media company had recruited a handful of passionate, impressionable youngsters with a compelling allegiance to Africa. Aluta Continua! Help the motherland. We thought, or at least I did.

When we get up to leave, he grabs my waist. He pulls me to his chest. He leans in for a kiss. My stunned mind stops thinking. It shuts down; I hurry to turn it back on. Easy, Chika. Don’t embarrass the man. Take it easy. I slide out of his arms with a surprising calm. I’m just not interested. I say his name for effect. It works. He gets the point, yet the perplexity in his eyes remains. I never bring it up. It’s like it never happened. It never happened again.

“It gets to their heads,” he said of women in management roles.

ogugua88: It really isn't. Just a bunch of generalizations and people looking for relationships in the wrong places/with the wrong people.

You are just being smart by half. why not tel us where to find them. Don't consider yourself to be decent or that pretty to my taste. If you are that much, you know atleast where we can find folks like you.

[quote author=lyfe]I grew up watching many Nollywood movies both Igbo and Yoruba films and I see many people referring to a "big man" as Chief , usually rich people with big body and big belly. I still remember Sheef Koko, sheef Kanran, Adebayo Salami and Peter Edochie playing "Chief"

So, in reality what do I need to do or have to become a chief? Does it happen in reality anymore or only in movies?



These days you pay 250000 naira and you can be made a chief. It is not hard. once I get a wife I will go get one too.

kitlady02: @op, "you are what you attract"

you shouldn't settle, you should just use you list to work on yourself.

Fro your profile you are in Nigeria. So I didnt ask for your opinion. You know nothing about this issue as you are not an upwardly mobile Nigerian young man whom i seek their advice.

Skinni10ne: ^ I def. agree with this.
Where do you hang out? Do you hang out at the mall, the club, regular spots mainstream ppl go to? OR Do you go to libraries, business conventions? do you volunteer with a non profit organization, charity org? are u involved in art, science or book projects or clubs? Only dedicated ppl go to these things and ull be able to meet nice women from any race at these spots

You are wrong sister

lyfe: Same thing here in Canada. The situation is becoming hopeless, even the so called Nigerian girls want something more and not people like you. God will help you, you will find one and you will see what I'm talking about.

Nothing, I repeat nothing, like perfect lady. That fine chic you think is all that will either snore like a moving light-train or have halitosis or be dirty or have epilepsy in her gene or something that will scare you out of relationship if you eventually find one.


learn to cut your expectations; look beyond the superficial things. that's what I'm training my brain to do right now.

mr lyfe I see your profile that there is some gf in your life and there is another one on the bus you are considering. I know beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but are these girls in the category of girls I painted. They might be decent but have those other flaws I mentioned.haha

I suppose you guys need more information to be able to meaningfully help here. I attend a local church here and I have even attended multiple churches too. I feel like a church prostitute now.haha. Remember that naija song onwa december. But the fact is that that has dawned on me is that the decent shapely pretty ones in my age category in the church are all married. The others are obese and overweight and are baby mamas. For the baby mamas they are mostly african-amaerican. At some point I stopped going to church because it seemed like that's where overweight and non pretty ladies come to get comfort.

I work and like I said the oyibo at my work dont really catch my fancy as they are ridiculous skinny. The ok ones already taken.

Those of you saying that I attract only girls like me are totally not living in AMerica and don't understand what I am facing. I am not a drug addict, weed and tobacco smoker or not cute. So don't say what you don't know. There is a definite lack of decent, non drama, non baby mama, non obese, beautiful girls that can be wife material for the young upwardly cute black man. The beautiful girls wanna hang out with the crazy dudes that impregnate them and dump them. Why should I take left over? Many of them prefer to be club addicts and chain smokers of weed and tobacco and other kind of narcotics. And they don't really have any plan for their lives except for what their nice booty and breast can give to them.

Anyways I rest my case. I am going to Nigeria to get a wife. In fact I will put some attention on the girl here that already signified interest. I hope she got her thing together and not like the ones I am complaining about. TO my brothers in canada, nyc and other cities in the US, if you happen to overcome this issue before I do, please endeavor to share.Peace.

Mrs.Chima:
Nothing is going to help him.

I wonder why you are saying this. This case is not too complicated. If you have advice give.

This could be a personal problem. I doubt it though. I think it is just the city where i am at in the United States. I am an upwardly mobile young black man. I have been in this city for a few years now and I haven't been with a decent woman that is beautiful to my taste. I work among mostly white folks. Even though I am cool working with them, none of them has caught my attention as a suitable love partner. They are either too skinny or too pale or obese. The few decent black girls--non smokers of weed or drugs, no excessive make up, ostentatious hair extensions, in my job are taken.

Outside my job, the decent white or black are overweight or lack decent higher education. The story they tell with regards to education is that they will be starting next fall or spring. You free them and call them one year later they will say the same story. Either about taking prerequisites for nursing or one ridiculous major. Or you discover they are just sobering up after having a child for some irresponsible baby daddy.

Outside work, I have comes across pretty, bootylicious and yummy black girls but they are indecent(opposite of my definition of decent) ones. For the love of me, I can't deal with this group because they are extremely materialistic and shallow in their reasoning. They sometimes become decent after they have had a child with an irresponsible baby daddy and become overweight due to childbirth.

When it comes down to a decent pretty naija girl which will be perfect for me, I don't have them in this city. In this case I mean I rarely see them or know where they are. I went to a Nigerian wedding recently in a different city to check things out. No show. Nigerian girls from home and those born here are becoming overweight too.I am not that interested in interstate or distant intercity relationship but I am open to try.

I have noticed among some of my friends and acquaintances in other states that they are dealing with this same issue and are settling with the obese, skinny, freckle faced girls. I don't want my city to chose a partner for me. I don't want to deviate from the vision of the kind of partner I want. I don't want to settle for a girl that is below the quality of my dream girl because because that is the only quality of girls my city can provide as my other friends have done.

Young Nigerian men in America that have found decent, pretty partners( not too skinny or overweight but curvy) white,black, latino, asian any race should advise this brother here on what to do. Advice me on places to go to find these quality girl i want. Don't tell me to settle for the type I have just described. I know that in Nigeria we have a lot of pretty girls too to go pick from. But I still have to figure how to avoid the indecent from the decent. God bless you as you advice.