@Deepzone,
pls i need some clarifications,  didn't  that incident happen to u?? well showering a gal with gifts and not asking for atleast a kiss  definitely makes him the ''jewest'' man ever.

i once had an experience where i dated a gal although becos i kinda liked her, i didn't bother to ask her for sex (pre-conditions) just becos i was seeing other gals (sexually). but the truth is most of these gals tell us categorically that  they dont want sex but u will shocked to find out that they dont actually mean it and besides our gals should just stop pretending. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a sexual relationship.


GBAM!!!

hey buddy if he is not in the banking industry wat therefore is the need for cibn? bros go for msce or ccna, who doesnt know dat IT is the -in -thing now and besides you can be self employed. there is mega bucks in IT these days. forget about the cibn or even thinking about working in a bank. except u want to be a slave to so many people.good and fat salary but ?. i am a bank staff too.

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:
>
> Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can
> get myself treated fully within this period.
>
> Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my
> clinic, see that board.
>
> Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only
>
> Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an
> animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.
>
> Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come
> to you only,
>
> Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like
> me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not
> an animal.
>
> Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:
>
> Doctor: OK. Tell me.
>
> Man:
> I sleep like dog thinking about my work load whole night.
> I get up in the morning like a horse
> I go to work running like a deer
> I work all the day like a donkey
> I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
> I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
> I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.
> I am like a rabbit before my wife
>
> Doctor: are you a Bank Employee?
>
> Man: Yes !!
>
> Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should
> have told me in the beginning itself that you are a Bank
> Employee. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.
> (Pass this massage to all Bank employees. Let them know
> their real life.)
>

Fellas, i could not believe my ears when she opened up to me "I AM A LESBIAN". In as much as i try to satisfy her sexually because my hobby is making love or what some people will call a Nympho. but alas she is also a nympho like me. After every animalistic sexual act, she continues to touch herself. Hey people is she normal?

@ ogarkor

why be such an ass!!! That message you are complaining about was posted in april 2007.but appareently fellow nairalanders, unity bank recruits every three months or thereabout. please do not relent for once.try and send your cv down to the regional offices of unity bank now or better still at the head office.ONE LOVE

hello nairalanders, happy new year.i just want to inform you that unity bank will contact you via phone call.so u should expect to hear from us vey soon if u r sure u performed very well.unity bank's training schools are in lagos ,kano,kaduna and benin.this is your year, fellas.ONE LOVE!!!

hey !!anti virus if u performed very well during the interview, u have no need to be worried because u will surely be called.inside info there is a mass recruitment of staff going on.just patience is all it takes.and we will all succeed together. ONE LOVE!!!

hey guy are u sure u are for real. becos if u r not i am sorry for u oooooo. anyways send me the details asemostine22@yahoo.com.

their pay is quite mouth watering. guys dont let this opportunity pass u by. 1.9m p.a I am currently under going training.

"I Pity the Prosecutor!"

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer

The local sheriff in a small suburban town was looking for a deputy. He posted ads in the paper, and sure enough, Lisa, a wonderful looking blonde, went in to try out for the job. She wasn't the sharpest nail in the bucket, but seeing as she had a natural charisma about her, the sheriff gave her an interview,

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Lisa, what is 1 and 1?"

"11!" she enthusiastically replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right in a way, "

"Okay, Lisa. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Shucks, that's easy," the blonde replied. "Today and tomorrow!"

The sheriff was again surprised that Lisa supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

He thought of his next question carefully to make sure there could be no equivocation about the answer:

"Now Lisa, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Lisa looked a little surprised, thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while," the sheriff replied with satisfaction.

So, Lisa wandered over to the salon where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

"How'd it go?" they all asked.

Lisa was ecstatic. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

hey guys i received a message from Bid nigeria that my credit has been credited with the sum of 3,500ngn. hey how do i claim my money, any idea anyone? Thanks, ONE LOVE.

YEAH I FEEL YA TIPSYDUDE. mine is in abuja at the women development center. so guys and ladies lets hook up. call me 08065699182.see u nairalanders at the top.ONE LOVE!!!

The name of successful candidates have been sent to their lagos office. well for those of us that did ours in lagos, i guess by next week we should be expecting our invitation via text messages.A friend of mine recieved his on thursday in ph for medicals. Good luck and see u at the top.ONE LOVE!!!

unity bank has started inviting for medicals. so guys and ladies be expectant like a pregnant mother. one love!!!

hey guys what should i do, i received a mail from oceanic bank that i didnt pass a test i didnt write.

hey guys is it wrong to ask for the names of ur interviewers after the interview session.

hey guys where is their office in abuja.

hey sugar gal dont let those bullies out there intimidate you becos u have a lower credit. my dear just do you have to do and God will see u thru.Except u dont believe in your self. After all you are chartered. One love!!!

wats up nairalanders please kindly inform me of any test info in abj. or simply call this no. 08065699182 or mail me an invitation @ coolwater885@yahoo.com. one love!!!

hey i stumbled into an info that there will be a test in National University Commission, Maitama tomorrow by 8 am. this strictly for people in abuja.blessed are the gate crashers for they shall remain blessed. Grab this opportunity. guys their pay is very good.ONE LOVE!!!

REF:346
Title: Software Tester

Job Description: Software testers required for software development company. Must be able to write, design and implement test plans, understand functional specifications, and able to work with minimal supervision. Knowledge of Black box testing.

Job Type: Contract, Full Time

Job Category: Information Technology

Duration: 4-6 weeks

Location: Lagos

Career Level: Experienced (Non Manager)

Salary:

Relevant Experience: 5+ years


REF:347
Title: Web Programmer


Job Description: A seasoned web programmer is needed for a web application project. The programmer must have relevant experience in web design and/or scripting and a neat coding style. Programmer must be prepared to work on-site (Lagos). Knowledge of PHP, and Java scripting required.

Include Preferred Programming Language and List of previous projects executed in your application. (Proof with sample of work would be an added advantage.)

Job Type: Contract, Full Time

Job Category: Information Technology

Duration: 10 weeks

Location: Lagos

Career Level: Experienced (Non Manager)

Salary:

Relevant Experience: 5+ years


REF:351
Title: Freelance Contractors
Job Description: Business Support Services provider requires freelance contractors ranging from administrative and executive assistants to customer service representatives and project managers.

Job Type: Contract, Full/Part Time

Job Category: Admin

Duration: Various

Location: Lagos

Career Level: Minimum Post secondary school and No maximum!

Salary: Dependent on the job

Relevant Experience: Proficiency in any of the core services offered by us


REF:352 Title: Admin Assistant
Job Description: Supervise and coordinate daily activities in the organisation, liaise with customers and follow up on proposals and invoices, liaise with management for required resources and provide comprehensive reports on daily activities.

Position Requirements: Good negotiation and communication skills (oral and written). Good problem solver. Must be proactive and energetic and be able to work with minimal supervision. Computer literate and administrative skills. Lives within easy access to Ikoyi!

Job Type: Permanent. Full time

Job Category: Admin

Duration: Contract, Full /Part Time

Location: Lagos

Career Level: Entry level

Salary: 20K

Relevant Experience: 1+ years

Send an application and a detailed CV, quoting reference number, to
cv@purplesharks.com
I WISH U UYS BEST O LUCK. ONE LOVE!!!

HEY NAIRALANDERS WHAT IS HAPPENING. HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR UNITY BANK FOR THEM TO ALL US. HEY GUYS STAYING @ HOME IS BECOMING UHEALTHY FOR ME. HOWEVER ITS MOST LIKELY THEY EMPLOY MOST PEOPLE THAT PASSED THEIR TEST AND CALLED UP FOR THEIR INTERVIEW . AND IF NOT CALLED FOR TRAINING , JUST KNOW U DID POORLY IN THEIR INTERVIEW. FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE. HOWEVER I WISH EVERYBODY WAITING FOR UNITY BANK ALL HE BEST. ONE LOVE!!!

EXCITING & CHALLENGING EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES IN A TOP HOSPITAL IN
ABUJA, F.C.T.

A NEW 130 BED SPECIALIST HOSPITAL IN THE HEART OF ABUJA METROPOLIS,
AIMING AT WORLD CLASS STANDARDS OPENS SHORTLY. WE REQUIRE HIGHLY
SKILLED MEDICAL, PARA-MEDICALS AND SUPPORT STAFF WITHIN AND OUTSIDE
NIGERIA FOR THE SUCCESSFUL TAKE-OFF OF THE PROJECT:

Core Medical Service (Ref No: Med/01)
Consultants & Medical Officers are required for:
• Internal Medicine (cardiology, renal, Chest, GIT, infectious
diseases, metabolic & hormonal disorders, Endocrinology, etc.).
• Obstetrics & Gynecology (Fetal Medicine, Infertility,
Oncology etc)
• Pediatrics
• Surgery (General, ENT, Orthopaedics etc)
• Dentistry
• Ophthalmology
• Anaesthesiologist
• Family Medicine
• Radiology
• Laboratory Medicine

Medical Support Service (Ref No: Med Sprt/02)
Professional and support staff in:
• Nursing/Midwifery services (All cadres)
• Radiological services (All cadres)
• Diagnostics & Laboratory Services (All cadres)
• Anesthesia Services (All cadres)
• Pharmaceutical Services (All cadres)
• Emergency Medical Services
• Mortuary Services

Admin (Ref No: Adm/03)
Also required are qualified professionals & their support staff in
the following areas:
• Accounts & Finance
• Medical Records/Statistics
• Marketing & Business Development
• Personnel & Office Administration
• Procurement
• Internal Audit
• Information technology & communications

HOW TO APPLY: E-MAIL OR SEND YOUR CURRICULUM VITAE WITH A COVERING
LETTER DETAILING YOUR SUITABILITY AND CORE COMPETENCIES FOR THE
POSITION & QUOTING THE APPROPRIATE REFERENCE NUMBER, NOT LATER THAN
28TH FEBRUARY 2007, TO: medical.careers@ yahoo.com, or to the address
below:

THE ADVERTISER,
P. O.Box 7320, Wuse,
Abuja.

hey patho, let me know where the test is taking place. since i stay in abuja too. nairalanders will really appeciate ur effort and God will bless u as u do so. ONE LOVE MAN

please for those of us in abuja how do we summit our cvs. pls come to our aid.(SOS)

Makoko please if there is way u can assist me in order to write ecobank aptitude test either in lagos or abuja, i will really appreciate it. please try and help me. below is my attached cv.

Agnessoseka please let me know the moment oceanic bank starts collecting cvs and moreover when they will be writing their test. tanx and good luck.

hello guys what is happening to unity bank? how long do we have to wait for the result of thier interview. please nairalanders give any info as regards their recruitment process.

hello buddy, no information as to where to apply to. please give an info or an address.

Hi,

We have Bulk requirement for VC++ & Mainframe Professionals for CMM Level 5 Company.

Enclosed are the details:
Requirement- 1:Mainframe Professionals.
Role: Software Engineer.
Experience: 1-4 Years.
Skill set: COBOL,JCL,DB2, CICS.
No. of Positions: 15.

Requirement- 2: VC++ Programmers.
Role: System Engineer/Sr. System Engineer.
Experience: 2-6 Years.
Skill set: MFC,COM.
No. of Positions: 10.

Kindly, mail your updated CV to maruthi@codem- soft.com with the following details:
Current CTC:
Expected CTC:
Notice Period:
% of 10th Standard:
% of 12 th Standard:
% of Graduation:
% of PG:

We'll be grateful if you can pass on this mail to all of your friends who are looking for a change.

Regards,
Maruthi.
CodeM Software Solutions,