₦airaland Forum

Which one exactly

Take her advice, trust me

Being single sucks, man, easpecially if you are the guy in blue

Please!

Why are you ignoring me, why!!!!

Weird as fk

DaD I KNOW I DON'T CALL, BUT I AM BROKE AS FK

What's the hold up, get it over with, i have chore practice at 9

This is quite crazy and bleeped up

Cum in my big ass

Its frustrating when you are trying to get your crush to notice you, we dress and act in certain ways to get noticed. sometimes that crush you like so much as her or his eyes on someone else who is prettier or handsome than you are, it's is in our human nature to want we cannot have. Such is a story guy named Abiola with four year crush on his cute neighbor Assibi, a 21 year old with everything a man would desire in a girl, the curves, the skin like that of Bobrisky(except she wasn't a man) and the natural long hair that most ladies desire, she was a princes in his eyes own eyes, everyday he had been anticipating to approach, reading all the books about seduction or all the shit in the world to get him laid, but one day the opportunity gaped, she had just broken up with her boyfriend and now it was time for some action, he decided to text her first, stealing her number from the church documents where he used to work as an usher he wrote a thousand word text message in which he expressed his love, how long he as loved her, he promised marriage and shit a man could promise just to get in that skirt and finally after two hours of typing he finally hits send and faced the phone downwards fearing the response would be bad and after a minute the message did come back, in the middle of the night, his heart was thumping hard,the hair on his skin stood up and he waited to check what the response was, first he did push ups, lifted some weights, took an hour long dressed up nicely,some perfume on him and six condoms hoping the message was an invitation to a date, he slowly turned it, with drumsticks ringing his head,"Sorry, you have insufficient credit to send this message,please recharge, Dial *778# to get the latest caller tunes from Davido on M.T.N" was the response from M.T.N and Mucus started running down his nose

(([color=#990000][/color]Hi nairaland iam zambian and i have been folowing this forum for quiet some time now,it's cool and i also notice that there is an evil oga called seun who bannies people for no good reasons and i also think you nigerian's are so creative in evrything and i admire you all.So iam i welcome here.

How many here have been to jail, i am sure one out five of you reading this have been there and it's not pretty, my cousin just recently came out of jail[won't say what he did] but he was telling story's of when they got there prisoners were shouting'virgin!virgin!' when there entered and his friend was told to draw a TV with a charcoal and perform like Justin bieber, what a shame minutes later one inmate presented a pillow to my cousin and asked him what it was and when he answered pillow he slapped" It's not a pillow, it's a wardrobe"

Hey guys just to share some experience i have had experienced although some of you might ask, are you that rich to be giving us advise on how to get rich? the answer is that i am not but my life is stable, so let save you all some time and get straight to the topic can waking up early really make you a dangote? yes it can for it boost one ingredient in wealth creation and thats is productivity, what time do you normally wake up? i don't know about you but i know some guys who wake at 9 and others at 11 and it's normal for it makes you weak like a baby and usually you want more sleep, for some it gives you a split head like you have a hang over and you normally feel like clap, your brain is slow and it makes you usually lazy, but if you wake up early and breath in the morning air and plan your day, i promise you will feel energetic to pursue anything, new ideas and possibilities will burst open and you will start to feel a feeling of well being, for health is one of the major ingredient in wealth creation.[Acute1..com]

A Zambian traditional healer by the name Emanuel chikali was last night. the incident happened last night at a motel where the victim who had syphilis went to the traditional healer for help then he shoved roots which he referred to as herbs into the woman private part and it didn't take long for the private part to get swollen beyond normal, the man is currently in police custody and is awaiting judgment.[Acute1..com]

All my god this is just amazing, a Japanese guy by the name of masanobu sato who won the world masturbating championship as broken his own record from 9 hour 58 min to to 11 hours just masturbating. last year 8 competed 6 went out in just 1 one and one went out in two leaving only masanoba who did for almost 10 hours non stop, for him it's rather a hobby and he enjoys it very much hope one day we would have a Nigerian competing[Acute1..com]

As the saying goes jail is not the last place you might want to end up in, not just because you might lose your freedom but there is a real chance of you becoming a human pin curt ion and there is also a real chance of not been able to differentiate between a woman and Justin bieber.

A benin based ward chancellor by the name of tommy efuelu chido was last night beaten and stripped naked for allocating one piece of land to more than six people according to a news report the piece of had some previous quarrel between two individuals who had been fighting for it for about a year now but the fire started when yet another man claiming ownership of the land came with a truck full of bricks and the real beating began on the thief of a chancellor who was stripped and rubbed chilly down his bottom, the house was raided and the wife was not seen, the three who took part in the beating are yet in police custody and the chancellor is in hospital.[metrozed.blogspoot.com]

well that's cute, but just as they know the parents shouldn't blame the teachers for most of the rape and child abuse

A Zambian man by the name of Felix mutale is currently facing charges of assault on his boss[Geoffrey mutalika]. last night Sunday the Unusual case happened when the two got into a heated argument when the security guard visited the boss's home demanding for a three month delayed payment and when the boss said he hadn't yet been given the check for five month, Mr mutale punched his boss three times on the teeth and four came out and the boss woke up in the hospital, the security guard was arrested at his mothers home in gorge compound in Lusaka where he flees to hide the hearing of the case will be at 12 June and Mr mutale is currently in police custody, well atleast if he can't pay with his money he can pay with his teeth, [www.metrozed..com]

Be honest and say what you think is happening to this girl

what do you think is happening to her?

what do you think is happening to her?

The one below is the foundation of the family[the father] and followed by the mother, then then laying on the back of the mom naked is the elder son and the last one iis the last kid, tell me guys planning on taking the same photo with your family.[www.metrozed..com]

It was last week i stole a 24k from the fulani herdmen and i went clubing all night and when i woke up the next morning i found the exact money in my pocket, at first i thought it was a joke then in started to have vivid dreams of cows milking me instead of the other way around, then i dream two cows playing me like a soccer ball, please help i have tried spending and spending but its not ending.

The situation of ritual killings in Zambia has intensified, people are now living in fear of these evil men killiing people on a daily basis and just last night the nation was shocked to from the sad development of two grade one pupils in kitwe were brutally killed in the school toilet early in the morning.
according the their teacher the 6 year old james mulenga and kondwani phiri asked permission from their teacher to take the toilet and little did they know that the killers were hidden in the toilet, after about thirty minutes of not coming back the teacher decided to follow them and found their mutilated bodies laying on the floor[www.metrozed..com]

Hey guys people say iam very handsome is it true?