₦airaland Forum

Leriebloom:
prologue

Someone was in her home, she could hear the careful steps, the picking of the locks. She had never been this scared before. She could taste fear on her tongue. Something bad was going to happen tonight, she could feel it as much as she could breathe . She was fear stricken, her toes curled in fear. It all went down to the fact she was scared, she grabbed her piĺlow tight.
"Please God, stop him from entering" she whispered trying to turn on her already dead phone. This was the worst time for her phone battery to be drained.
"Get out!" she screamed at the locked door, but the intruder ignored her totally. He stopped picking the locks and she thought she was safe, she thought no harm would come to her tonight,but she couldn't be more wrong.
The intruder kicked the door hard, and it opened on the second attempt which caused her to scream loud.
"Help!, someone please help me!" she screamed at the top of her voice.
"Shut up!" The intruder barked angrily heading for her. She tried escaping him, which was a dead attempt. He pulled her hair and slapped her hard.
"I said shut up!" he growled angrily. She noticed he was wearing a mask, she slapped him continously, trying to push him off her, but he held her by her hands and threw her back onto her bed which was already a scattered mess. She didnt give up, she kicked and pinched, and the intruder growned in pain.
He held her throat "I said shut the heck up" he said punching her face causing her to spit out blood. She used her last strength to pinch his hands off which failed badly. She targeted his face and was able to reach his eyes. She deeped her her fingers hard into his eye socket and he lost his balance. She grabbed the opportunity by running for the door, but she was not fast enough, he got to her and before she could open her mouth to scream, she felt a sharp pain in her back, a continous pain, the intruder was stabbing her continously. She had lost it, there was no strength in her anymore. The intruder had claimed his fourth victim.





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Okay, i am testing the waters here, i couldn't stay off this section for long. Though i would be quite busy in the next few weeks, but i would try my best to update 3 times a week during this period. Criticisms allowed.


Emmyedes Kingrex1 Davspog2 Skarlett Heemah lsofdk
Smellymouth
Cutehector Weirdman,, Frei, Tremainegold
Spanner4 stteejax meryl4merit Aijalon

it's aptly written and cool... i'd love to see more lines from this... moreover, i'd say not everyone likes a "thriller" tho..reminds me of the Hollywood movie "scream"

Secondly,

she dipped her fingers hard into his eye socket and he lost his balance

I think during this moment, the intruder must be pretty hurt bad due to the severity of the poke " "hard" to the extent he may be having difficulties with sight. He may even be gushing out blood at this moment, I really don't think it would be possible for him to catch her at this time... possibly, if it would have been a real movie, this scene would have ended up for her being rescued by the cops, den the intruder being arrested...


I just duno if you are understand what i'm tryn to figure out..


Well my opinion tho, i'm still open to corrections from others.


Nice one leriebloom.. I was impressed by your other story that made front page.