₦airaland Forum

khassy:
And nw all dis drunk Tanke drivers be thinking dey are driving in GTA

See speeding anyhow

Make one weyrey man jam me first

Mtchewww

What does Tanke means

A husband comes home from Church, greets
his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the
house. The wife is so surprised and excited!
She asked with smiles, “Did the Pastor preach
on being romantic?” Out of breath the
husband replies, “No, he said we must carry
our burdens…”

Akpos’ Pastor called him after Church and asked him
how much he bought his iphone 6 smartphone.
Akpos lied that he bought the phone for $100 instead
of $1000, because he didn’t want the Pastor to shout
and ask how much he (Akpos) gave to God that
month.
All of a sudden, the Pastor gave Akpos two hundred
dollars to buy two of the phones for him and his wife.
Now Akpos is confused and doesn’t know what to do.
What advice will you give to Akpos.

lucrownt: To those that are still anticipating their own admissions, yours will surely arrive. Believe in this quote "Que Sera Sera" (what would be would be).. Inshallah you will be admitted.

Amen oh

shadelek: No admission given yet. Keep praying coz it seems direct entry candidates don steal the show. Best of luck lady

Chai! I pray I get admitted oh. Thanks

Someone should check mine 45408925CF Ayoola. Thanks

Earnestly waiting for the good news

merit list, 2nd list & MST probably supplementary list(I used d word probably bcus it was not released last year)
Thanks

How many list does unilorin always release

Howfar

Just comment any word that cannot be found in the dictionary!

No admission yet
Thanks

Kindly check this for me 45408925CF... Thanks

See this thread sha... my post dan dey scarce bcus of jamb admission status...

Hmmm... I'll be back with great news

Kindly check this for me 45408925CF

Congratulations Oyibo-Ebije Anthonia Nkechi!!! You Have Been Offered Admission for a 4-Year FIRST DEGREE Programme into UNIVERSITY OF PORT- HARCOURT,. Course: PHARMACY in the Faculty of MED/PHARM/HEALTH SCIENCES.[/quote]Kindly check mine 45408925CF... Thanks

no admission yet

How did u check it??

How did you check it..

sylvar02: no admission yet

Oooooo why nau.. Thanks

sylvar02: no admission yet

Chineke! Thanks

bizzosd: Fenk God have been offered admission to study physics,unilorin thr i come

How did you check it..kindly check mine 45408925CF.. Thanks

A giant tortoise named “Pepe the Missionary,”
who is known as one of the most photographed
animals on Ecuador’s Galapagos Islands, has died at
age 60.
Pepe rose to fame as a mascot for Franciscan
missionaries, whom he lived with for many years. He
was well loved by tourists who visited the area.
According to reports, his organs had begun to fail,
and he was overweight. He died of “natural causes”
at the Galapagos National Park on Friday, AFP
reports.
Pepe comes from the Chelonoidis Becki species of
tortoises known for living for up to 100 or 200 years.
And so he was considered a “young adult” when he
passed away.
Paying tribute to the tortoise, Park Director Arturo
Izurieta said, “After 6o years of life, Pepe the
missionary will remain in our memories forever.”
R.I.P Pepe.

#united Fans For Life#

uihebom: you don kolo abi? someone wrote her experiences and you are looking for source. Source as in spaghetti or Yam source ?

LMAO...I no even understand people again...Doctors sef don dey fear virus pass us...

It's damil_ayl

I’ve only been for 7 weddings since I moved back 12
months ago. That’s a pretty small number as there is
a wedding every single weekend. 6 of these were in
Lagos while one of them was in Abuja. I’m going to
share/highlight on the different things I learnt at
each one.
The first one (August 2013) was an engagement
ceremony a few weeks after I moved back. It was
pretty small, the colour was orange and brown. I
didn’t have any trad in those colours so I wore my
mum’s iro and buba. I didn’t wear heels because I
had arrived a day or 2 before and the suitcase with
all my heels was still in transit (it was being
shipped).
1. You do not wear oversized clothes to a wedding.
You have to highlight your selling points. In other
words, you are there to sell your market so dress to
impress.
2. As a lady, if you are not a family member or Aunty
or close friend or cousin that is going to be running
up and down on that day, you have no reason to wear
flats, your heels should be on deck. I learnt this
after one of the groomsmen told me ladies have to
wear heels.
Ever wondered what it’s like to be a hostess at an
event? I can tell you as I was an usher at the second
wedding (September 2013) I attended. The bride
was a choir member and the husband holy police
(Redeemed Speak) at my church so she asked a few
girls in the youth church to usher on her special day.
I willingly obliged and was pretty happy when I
received the aso ebi all the ushers were going to
wear. She wanted uniformity so 6 of us turned ours
into oleku.
3. When working behind the scenes at a wedding,
communication is key. I was the only usher who went
to church for the actual ceremony. The others met up
at one of the girl’s houses where they got their make
up done by one of the girls who is pretty good at
these things.
4. You need to have an affordable, reliable, tailor
that can interpret designs. The closer he/she is to
your house the better for you. The other ushers
sewed their oleku for N500 each. I used my mum’s
tailor who charged N1,500.
5. Being a bouncer can get pretty boring so
they spend their time talking about/analysing
the guests/bridal train/ushers. At this wedding, I
was stationed at the door so the bouncer there was
my gisting partner. He sure kept me entertained!
First, he was yapping the bridesmaids, that they are
old and not the most attractive facially. Apparently,
there was only one of them he could “manage”. He
said his future wife most have fine friends o! He
actually scored these women over 10 and was giving
them pretty rubbish marks. You would think he was
handsome, but he wasn’t. It shocks me how people
think they can judge other’s looks. The third
wedding (November 2013) I attended was my
uncle’s traditional somewhere on the mainland. It
was my first time attending a traditional ceremony
from start to finish and there were a lot of things I
didn’t know happened. My dad is his older cousin so
we sat opposite the bride’s family.
6. If your family member is getting married
and you are on the groom’s side, make sure
you have enough cash in your bag in small but
reasonable denominations like N100 and N200.
I was not aware that the bridal party will come round
to the groom’s side expecting us to give money. At
this point in my life, I was still getting pocket money
as NYSC hadn’t started and I wasn’t earning much as
an intern. We also had to give money to the
musicians and the little cash I had got cleared, even
the pounds (Remember, at this point I was an IJGB; I
Just Got Back)
7. As the groom, make sure your groomsmen
have enough cash on them . At a point in time the
alaga was passing the bowl round to get donations
for herself, she said it wasn’t enough and the boys
should do better. They heard this many times during
the course of the event and I’m sure they left there
with their pockets dry.
The fourth time I attended a wedding was as a
musician. The Bride was a Masters student whilst I
was in undergrad, we attended the same youth
fellowship and I used to play the sax at our
conventions/conferences. The bride wanted me to
play the sax at a point during the ceremony and I
was nervous. The day before the ceremony I was just
like can rapture come so I don’t have to do this. It
didn’t come so I had to man up and play. I had
practised with my friend who has been playing for 11
years so we were pretty tight. The whole thing went
smoothly and the band which we met that day,
backed us up nicely.
8. If you are performing or speaking at a
ceremony, make sure you practise beforehand.
Record yourself and watch it critically so you can
change anything that needs work/needs to be
changed.
The fifth one was a wedding of an older friend at
church. Her mum suggested I get the aso ebi and so
it was my first time tying gele. Remember the last
church wedding I attended, I was an usher, this time
round I was a guest. The bride is an event planner so
everything was well organised. The colours were
really beautiful too, I love yellow. There was a slight
issue with the air conditioning so things got a bit hot
and guests were advised to sit down and not talk too
much as the movement will generate heat.
9. Make sure you have a hand fan and pocket
tissues. They are very essential!
10. If you are a friend of the bride but you don’t know
any of her friends, target someone that you know
can dance so you don’t walk in with a boring person
when you lead the way for a bride to follow.
So I flew from Lagos to Abuja for my sixth wedding.
It was my friends sisters wedding and it was my
second time in Abuja. Yes, that’s right I actually flew
to Abuja for a wedding.
11. When attending a wedding in an unfamiliar
city, there would be a lot of unfamiliar faces, not
many aunties to greet or people you know. So make
sure you have friends other than those in the
bridal party that you can sit and gist with.
12. If you’re a natural haired sister like myself, it
wouldn’t be bad to invest in a wig for that
glamorous look. I’ve got a baby face so look pretty
young, long flowy locks would have made me look
slightly older. Plus, the convenience with wigs is you
can take it off and rock your fro the next day.
13. Alternatively you could invest in beautiful eye
catching accessories or be creative with your hair. It
crowns your face and is very important in making or
breaking your final look.
The seventh wedding I attended actually inspired
this post. It was my family friend’s wedding and it
was a pretty big deal. She’s a very special girl, I had
to hold back tears at some point, it got pretty
emotional at times.
14. When attending a society wedding where a
lot of people are expected e.g. 1,000 find an
alternative route as there is bound to be
traffic. My Aunty was stuck in traffic on one street
for an hour. It took us about 20 minutes to get there
as we used the alternative route even though her
house is way closer to the venue.
15. Sometimes it’s best to just get the Aso-Ebi. My
parents got but didn’t remember to get for me. I
didn’t remember to get for myself so just found
something to wear on the day. I haven’t reached that
age where it’s wedding season in my life and I have
to dole out money every weekend so I have no
complaints to make about the cost of aso-ebi. Certain
souvenirs/party favours were only given to those
wearing the aso-ebi, it was like their reward for
buying it.
16. Invest in nice strappy open toed sandals. I
don’t really have any because I think my legs are fat
and I don’t think they will look good in them. But
these shoes are versatile and more practical than
close toe pointed pumps/stilettos.
17. On my table there were a number of aunties who
had definitely done their make up professionally. I’ve
only had this done once and that was for my mums
50th birthday. As a young lady, it is cost effective to
attend a make up and gele tying class so you
can perfect those skills. You are bound to go for
many parties and weddings in your life time so just
learn how to present yourself nicely instead of
forking out 5-10k anytime you have an event to go
to.
18. If you attend a wedding as a single/with
your parents, people will undoubtedly make
statements concerning your to-be nuptials. E.g.
“Your time is coming”, “I can’t wait to dance at your
own, better shine your eyes.” Just smile and keep
quiet or nod your head. In my head I’m thinking, I
don’t even know what I want to do with my life, I’m
still a corper, haven’t done my masters so I don’t
know where all these people are rushing to.
I’m adding two for Jara so there’ll be a nice, even,
rounded number of lessons.
19. Make sure you eat before you go for a
wedding, anything can happen, food can finish or
you can get stuck in traffic, you just never know and
it’s better to be safe than sorry.
20. Take a picture of yourself before you leave your
house so you know what you look like and so you can
change anything you don’t like about your
appearance.
I’ve only been for a few weddings and I am not an
#AsoEbiBella.
This list is by no means exhaustive and I am sure

It doesn't matter what state they crime was commited in what matters is that they've been apprehended...

Who knows?

Operatives of the Special Anti Robbery Squad, SARS,
Ikeja, Lagos have smashed a syndicate that
specialize in selling human parts, Vanguard reports.
The 3 suspects whose names were given as
Mustapha Muritala, Sunday Oluyeba and Adenike
Olanrewaju, were arrested at the Ojumerin area of
Sagamu, Ogun State following a tip off. Recovered
from the suspects were two human skulls suspected
to have been procured from a graveyard.
When interrogated, one of the suspects, 42 year old
Herbalist Mustapha Murtala, said he ventured into
the business two years ago following an offer of
N30,000 for a human skull. Continue...
"I am a herbalist from Sagamu, Ogun State. I was
introduced to human parts business by one
Sunday Oluyeba I knew through my friends,
Olanipekun and Kazim, three years ago. My
friends asked me to get native birds called
eyeoshi and eyeoke, and I succeeded in getting
them. They later came and requested a human
head with an offer of N30,000. They said they
wanted to use it to prepare concoction for a
pregnant woman in labour . They told me they
also use human parts to prepare concoction for
women who have difficulty in getting pregnant.
What they do is to grind the human skull, mix it
with water and give to the woman to drink. Such
concoction cleanses the stomach, after which she
would become pregnant. Sunday brought the
human head and I paid him N15,000 for it. This is
the second time I am buying a human skull from
him. I do not know where he got them from.”
Recounting how he was arrested, Mustapha said
“I was going about my herbal business when a
man came and demanded human skull. As I
handed the nylon where I kept it to him, some
men I later discovered to be policemen swooped
on me. I have never killed anyone in my life.” he
said
After his arrest, he was made to put a call across to
his partner in crime, Oluyeba, demanding a human
head. Oluyeba, who was indisposed, instructed one of
his herbalist friends, Baba Beji, to go for the supply.
He was arrested when he got there.
Further investigations by police led to the arrest of
another suspect in Sagamu. The suspect, Juwon
Olarewaju, another herbalist, reportedly fled on
sighting policemen and his wife, Mrs Olarewaju was
arrested instead.
34 year old Mrs Olarewaju, said she was shocked to
find out her husband was involved in such a trade.
She said;
“I have been married to Juwon for five years and
we have two children. My husband is a herbalist
but I didn’t know he was dealing in human parts. I
was arrested in my house at about 2am over the
weekend. I swear, I didn’t know anything about all
these. I was arrested because my husband whom
they came to arrest ran away. These people
implicated my husband in the matter; they said
my husband supplied them with a human head.”
she said
Police say the suspects will soon be charged to court.

As a good friend, I decided to give u dese credits.

MTN 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Etisalat 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Glo 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Airtel 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Scratch gently plz...

For safe scratch use knife or cutlass

You will give testimony after doing it

When was the last
time you had a
good, spontaneous
deep-bellied
laugh? Do you
laugh when you’re
feeling happy, and
do feel happy
when you laugh?
Are you drawn to
people with a good
sense of humor?
Laughing helps us
to experience joy
in the everyday
and be present in
the moment.
Here are five reasons why laughing is
something you should do every day:

1. Laughing relieves tension. Laughter
relaxes the muscles in the body and eases
stress, anxiety and fear.

2. Laughing feels great. Laughing releases
endorphins, the chemical in the body that
makes you feel great.

3. Laughter brings us together. Sharing a
good laugh with others is a wonderful way to
bond and have a good time in social situations.

4. Laughter is healing. Laughter is an
amazing source of both physical and
emotional healing. Physically, laughter
improves blood flow, deep breathing and
boosts your immunity (not to mention, it
strengthens those abs). Emotionally, finding
the humor in even the most difficult things we
face can be a powerful step to bringing some
light into dark times.

5. Laughter is beautiful. Laughter attracts
others who like to laugh. Plus, aging lines from
laughter are beautiful markers of a life well-
lived.
Of course, it’s easy to say, “Just laugh more!”
But how do you laugh more? Here are some
quick tips for how to bring more authentic
laughter into your life:
Smile. You’ve got to start somewhere, and
a laugh begins with a smile.
Loosen up, and let go. Don’t take things
too seriously. Authentic laughter is a
spontaneous, easy going experience.
Making a list of the good things in your life
is a great way to think more positively and
loosen up.
Find funny people. Spend more time with
people who make you laugh. Find someone
in your life whose sense of humor is spot-
on, and get together with them more often.
Seek out people at a Play. Playing with
animals or children is a great place to start.
Taking a canine friend to an off-leash park,
visiting an animal sanctuary, or spending
time playing a silly game with kids is a
wonderful way to loosen up and laugh.
Have fun. Spend more time doing things
that you find fun and funny. Watch a funny
movie or read a funny book. Go to a comedy
show. Tell funny stories, and ask other
people to share funny stories.
What makes you laugh? How do you bring
laughter into your life?