₦airaland Forum

Just because he’s your friend, doesn’t make him immune to temptation. We’ll help you tell if he has made your woman the object of his desires.

Obviously, they’re not going to start coming on to her when you’re around or start talking about her inappropriately in your presence, so how can you tell if they are indeed enamored of your other half or just being nice for your sake. Well, fear no more gentlemen: the following list tells all.

#1 I can feel your presence. Is your friend one of those who you have that kind of healthy relationship with, where you might not see them for six months at a time, and yet you can seamlessly pick up from where you left off? Then they meet your girlfriend and all of a sudden are ringing you every other day, inviting themselves round to your place or on already planned nights out? Does he always ask if you’re going out on your own or whether there will be anyone else there?

These are all surefire indications that he has the scent of your woman in his nostrils, and is relentlessly pursuing her. He may not have admitted it to himself at this stage, but he will, and it will lead to trouble. Try not to encourage his behavior, and keep him to a routine that he was previously comfortable with – no matter how close you are.

2 It’s no joke. Your friend’s one of the lads and like a bit of a laugh, but he holds onto his laughter like a cheating husband holds on to his nether regions. He’s kind of cool and collected and exposes his humor through little more than the odd sardonic smile.

Then he meets your girlfriend, and starts belly laughing over every silly and inconsequential thing she comes out with for no apparent reason. No, he hasn’t suddenly turned into the slowpoke he is acting like. He has actually and very suddenly become infatuated with your girlfriend. In a desperate attempt to show her how nice he is, how approachable and friendly he is, he has thrown his cool scruples to the wind. Best keep your eye on him.

3 Whose side? You go out for a drink or meal or something similar, and whether orchestrated that way or not, your girlfriend and friend bump into each other, and the chat starts flowing. Do you find that your friend is starting to be all obsequious with her, hanging on her every word?

And more importantly, do you notice that he starts agreeing with everything she says, and yet disagreeing with you. If he is so swift to take the side of someone he barely knows against someone who could have been a friend for years, then you can bet your bottom dollar that his little brain is firmly in control
4 It’s a gift. Not everyone has the subtlety to make moves on a girl the way that some of the previous points require, and your friend may be oblivious to how obvious his attempts to woo your girl actually are. So, if he starts turning up with bigger bouquets and more expensive boxes of chocolate for her than you, then it may be time to have words!

If you want to get dumped, then act like a chump. Otherwise, use the insights above to keep your friends’ crushes firmly under control!

http://www.trendypulse.com/8-signs-that-your-friend-has-a-crush-on-your-girlfriend/

The secret law of attraction in love

How to find love in a world that’s so full of people with unique desires? Truth be told, we can leave it to the secret law of attraction in love. It works, and it’s very easy. But you have to understand it.

You’ve made a checklist of the things you want in a partner. And just like you, your prospective partner’s made a mental checklist of the things they want in their partner too.

If both of your checklists match perfectly, it’s instant attraction. The secret law of attraction in love would set into motion a chain of reactions that will draw both of you together like moths to a warm flame!
How to find love with the right partner?

Instead of dropping expectations in love all the time, retain them. But just like you have expectations from your partner, remember that your dream partner has expectations too. Ask yourself what your dream partner might want from you and try to become a better person yourself.

Speak with a few friends of the opposite sex and ask them to define their ideal partner. Learn from them, and try to improve your own shortcomings. Remember, the difference between looking beautiful and ugly is a coat of thick makeup or a good workout, so don’t really bother if you think you look unattractive. Attractiveness is more about charisma, persona and attitude than anything else. You’ll learn this over time, even if you don’t believe it now!

Change the law of attraction in love

All of us have our own desires when it comes to finding the perfect match in love. If you really want to live a blissfully happy life with your own true love, don’t drop your expectations. Instead, change the odds by improving yourself. Mould yourself to become your dream partner’s dream!

By dropping your expectations in love all the time, you’ll only end up feeling let down. Instead, work hard towards becoming perfect yourself. We’ve all seen movies where drooling oversized men stare at gorgeous women who are desired by everyone. There are no laws of attraction in love there, and that’s just physical attraction we’re talking about. For the law of attraction to work, there are so many factors you have to consider. See your checklist and ask yourself if you fit into all those requirements too. And if you’re flawed somewhere, try and improve it.

How to find love in the open

Once you understand the real way in which the law of attraction in love works, you won’t have to wonder about how to find love. The ball will roll, and before you know it, you’ll find yourself in situations where the odds of love will be high and you’ll be bumping into perfect partners all the time. But you need to keep your eyes open too, and look out for opportunities when you’re out with friends, or at your workplace

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Does your instinct tell you your lover is cheating on you? Use these 16 discreet ways on how to catch a cheating partner to catch them red handed!

Sometimes, you just know it.

You don’t know how, but you feel it in your gut, and something tells you that your partner is cheating on you.

You try confronting your partner about it, but they swat your concerns away and tell you that you’re just being paranoid.

Ever been there?

Are you convinced that your spouse is cheating on you, even though you can’t find any proof of it?

Of course, sometimes you may be going overboard with your paranoia, especially if you’re rather clingy and insecure to begin with.

But what if, by some miniscule margin, your instincts do turn out to be right eventually?

The fact that you doubt your partner is a sign that things aren’t all rosy in romance land.

And just suppressing your doubts and fears, and pretending like everything’s perfectly normal won’t help you at all.

In fact, it’ll just tear both of you apart from the inside because there’s no more trust in the relationship.

Is your partner cheating on you?

There are just two ways to get the nagging worry out of your head. One, you talk about it with your lover and get a convincing answer from them. Or secondly, you sneak around discreetly and try to get some proof of your partner’s philandering ways *if any*.

If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then perhaps, the only way to get the real answers is by snooping around and looking for clues when your partner is too busy doing their own thing.

16 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner

Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.

After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.

Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 18 signs and ways to catch a cheating partner to catch your lover in the act!

#1 Watch the signs. Do you see a change in your partner’s behavior recently? Have they started working out, dressing better, or started using a new seductive intense evening perfume? They may have no reason for the changes, and almost always, these changes may seem very spontaneous.

#2 Drop by unannounced. Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced. If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry!

#3 Check their recycle bin. The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s recycle bin often. Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.

#4 Snoop on their phone. Does your partner carry their cell phone with them wherever they go, even if it’s a trip to the loo? If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their cell phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.

Erased phone logs, a password protected phone, several calls to the same unknown numbers, or phone bills without detailed call information are all good signs that your partner is trying to hide something.

#5 Spontaneous sex. This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to have spontaneous sex with them when they get back home. If your guy gets angry, pushes you away or tries avoiding it at all costs, chances are, he may be exhausted down there. He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!
#6 Follow after a fight. Most cheating partners intentionally try to pick fights, slam the door and walk away, because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been picking fights and walking out of the house often recently, try to follow them on the pretense of apologizing *if they see you following them.

#7 Change your sleeping habits. If your partner’s cheating on you, their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house late at night. Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?

And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them.

#8 Does your partner want space? Space is something all of us need in a relationship, whether we accept it or not. But has your partner started getting fiercely protective about their space recently? Do they hate answering questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to? It’s definitely a small warning sign.

#9 They get jumpy. Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while. Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something and they don’t want you to know what it was.

#10 Changes in schedule. All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights on work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. If your partner doesn’t ever invite you with their friends, or if they claim to be very busy working and still look fresh and happy when they get home, your partner’s probably up to something.

#11 The phone etiquette. Your partner suddenly needs a lot of space while talking over the phone. They either sound awkward or they walk away from you to the next room while talking over the phone with a few people. You may even find text messages from random numbers with random texts in them.

Remember, when people cheat, they could always store the other lover’s number under another name, and use code words to interact with each other when they miss each other!

#12 Gadgets. Your partner has changed most of their passwords, even if you thought you knew all of them. And even when you ask them for the new password, they make an excuse to hide it from you. And sometimes, you may see that they position their computer facing away from you, and they would never do that before.

#13 Grooming habits. Hitting the gym, wearing new clothes and perfume are all signs your partner wants to look better. But are they going overboard with their appearances? Has your partner started grooming themselves down there meticulously all of a sudden, even though they aren’t keen on doing something with you?

#14 Sneaking away. Does your partner sneak out of the house every now and then, using the silliest of excuses? “I’m driving down to the store to get something…” “My friends are catching up around the corner…” “I’m bored, I’m going for a drive…” or something along those lines?

That’s alright though. But when you offer to tag along, what does your partner say? Do they make an excuse to go alone? That’s fishy, don’t you think?

#15 Create a fake profile. Create a fake profile and log on to websites that promote cheating spouses and see if your partner’s using one of them. Or for starters, just create a fake facebook profile and add a lot of random friends to make your account seem legitimate.

And then, send an invite to your partner and get friendly with them. And over a few days or weeks, start flirting with them and see how they respond to you. Are they interested in meeting up or hooking up?

#16 Keyloggers. Keyloggers are software that you can download off the net *some free and some for a price*. Some of these keyloggers, especially the paid versions, can be installed in a computer and the person using it would never know it’s running in the background.

These programs can record whatever you want, the passwords they use, the letters they type, the pages they visit, or even record a video of the screen as they use the computer. You can also download a few paid apps over your phone and install a secret app in your partner’s phone to keep track of their calls too.

SOURCE: http://www.trendypulse.com/16-ways-to-catch-a-cheating-partner/

There is an old story that women only date bad guys, and nice guys finish last in their life.. Dating is a minefield, that’s for sure, so here are some tips on how to spot which one’s a keeper, and some warning signs to know when you ought to slip out the door and run from your date

1. He respects women. Any guy who refers to women in derogatory terms is a definite no-no guy, as sooner or later he’ll turn that attitude on to you. However, if he is considerate to women, then he’s likely to treat you well.

2. He listens to your point of view and doesn’t talk over you. If he doesn’t agree with what you say, he won’t tell you you’re wrong, but will simply suggest reasons why he doesn’t agree. No good guy will ever put you down and continually tell you you’re wrong, especially in front of other people

3. He loves his mother but doesn’t let her smother or dictate to him. Any guy who is still tied to mummy’s apron strings is not a good guy to date, even if he cares about her. Mummy will make sure that you always come second best, as she wants to be the most important woman in his life.

4. He likes you as you are and doesn’t try to change you. He makes you feel good about yourself no matter how you look: dressed up, dressed down, wearing the same sweatpants three days in a row, whatever. He is most attracted to you when you feel the most comfortable in your own skin, whatever that means to you. If a guy tries to change you, then he is not into you as an individual, he just wants to mould you into his fantasy. A good guy is with you because it’s YOU he wants, not some idealised fantasy woman

5. He knows how to control and deal with his temper.There will be times where he gets frustrated or angry with you because he’s human; but at the same time,

6. And most of the time, he’s just as happy to join you and spend time getting to know your family and friends better and also makes you feel like you have a person who’s on your side, on your team, always rooting for you.
For the remaining signs hit the link below:
http://www.trendypulse.com/category/12-signs-you-are-dating-a-good-guy/

Are you falling in love? How can you tell?

There’s no question that the early stages of a relationship can be confusing. You might puzzle over your own feelings, and wonder what the person you’re dating really thinks of you. Your own emotions may be difficult to fully decipher, and trying to categorize them as falling in love or as just a passing attraction can be tricky. Is what you’re feeling the real thing, or are you just prone to feeling this way and need to be careful moving forward?

Drawing on recent research (focused on heterosexual relationships), here are some questions to help you sort it out:

1. Are you suddenly doing new things?As people fall in love, they often branch out beyond their normal range of activities and try those that their partners favor. You might find yourself trying new foods, watching new shows, or attempting new activities like running, fishing, or gambling. People who fall in love tend to report growth in the content and diversity of their own self-concepts (Aron, Paris, & Aron, 1995).

2. Have you been especially stressed lately? As welcome as falling in love might be, evidence links the experience with higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol (Marazziti & Canale, 2004). So if you’re anxious, tense, or just plain jittery, it might be a normal response to the strain of repeated social encounters with someone whose impression matters deeply to you.

3. Are you highly motivated to be with this person?Transitioning from a casual relationship to falling in love may have a chemical underpinning: Evidence shows that dopamine-rich areas of the brain are involved in the beginning stages of love (Fisher, Aron, & Brown, 2005); these areas are considered part of the brain’s “reward system” and serve as highly motivational. Once couples are “in love” for a while, the intensity of these emotions tends to decline and different areas of the brain, potentially more closely linked to attachment, become more active.

4. Does the person you’re falling for return your feelings?If you’re a woman and you feel like you’re falling in love, you might be interested to know that women experience reciprocity in those emotions more than men (Sanz Cruces et al., 2015). Maybe women are more apt to hold back their emotions until they believe they are returned, or maybe women are more successful at seducing partners. In either case, women who think they’re falling in love tend to have their feelings returned more often than men, making them more likely to find their feelings turn into relationships.

5 How intense are your emotions?People high in attachment anxiety (i.e., they question their own self-worth in relationships) tend to experience a high degree of passion when romance is budding (Sanz Cruces et al., 2015). If that’s not you, a lack of intense feeling isn’t necessarily a sign that Cupid hasn’t struck—not everyone experiences falling in love the same way. In fact, those who have avoidant attachment orientations tend to fall in love with much less intensity.

6. Do you fall in love frequently?If falling in love is a feeling you feel frequently, you’ll have less chance of missing the real thing—but more chance of heartache from mistaking attraction for something more. New evidence suggests that men fall in love more frequently than women (Sanz Cruces, Hawrylak, & Delegido, 2015). Researchers can explain this tendency from an evolutionary perspective, linking love to sex: Whereas women are likely to be more stringent in their partner criteria before declaring love, because their potential investment in an offspring is greater (e.g., pregnancy, childbirth), such emotions for men might promote reproduction and could therefore be considered evolutionarily advantageous.

7. Are you tempted to say, “I love you”? A sure sign of romantic interest, some people are more hesitant to utter these three words than others. Although people might imagine that women are the first to utter it, though, research on heterosexual couples again indicates that it’s men who are more apt to say “I love you” first (Harrison & Shortall, 2011). They also tend to fall in love faster.

8. Are you investing more in this person?One hallmark of successful couples is investment—all the time, energy, emotions, etc. that people put into their relationships (Rusbult, 1980). People falling in love are likely increasing their investment in a person, linking their lives together in a way that might promote commitment and stability.

Falling in love is a uniquely intense period of time for anyone. But we need to sort out a lot of other questions during a falling-in-love phase: Beyond clear attraction, is this person someone who will support you, respect you, understand you, and be compassionate with you? And does this person share your values and priorities?

If you’re lucky, putting in the time and effort during this initial period will pay off, and your mutual attraction can transition into a more stable (and less stressful) long-term relationship.

http://www.trendypulse.com/category/how-do-you-really-know-if-youre-falling-in-love/

you might not really tell if your woman is deeply in love with you as she claims. I don't think intimacy is in the dating dictionary of women especially when they are not yet married.

Even though a woman wants to be in an intimate relationship, it doesn’t mean that this takes place. However, while there will be some women who realise that this is because they fear intimacy, there are going to be others who are unaware of why they are unable to experience it.

In the first case, they may believe that it is because of what is taking place within them, and in the other case, they may believe that it’s because of what is taking place externally. If they believe that is relates to what is taking place within them, it is likely to be more empowering than if they were to believe it is because of what is taking place externally.

Hopeless

However, if these two scenarios are put to one side for the time being, it is going to be incredibly frustrating to live life in this way, and they are likely to end up feeling hopeless. On one side, they have the need to be intimate, and on the other, this need is not being fulfilled.

This doesn’t mean they won’t have close friends or have moments when they do experience intimacy with the sex that they are sexually attracted to. But what it is likely to mean is that this is not going to be an experience that is going to last and the intimacy that they experience with their friends is not going to be enough.

Unavailable

If one is aware of their fear of intimacy, it is not going to be much of a surprise if they attract someone who is unavailable. They will know that they are a reflection of them, and there is then going to be less chance of them blaming the other person.

When one is not aware of their fear of intimacy, it can be even harder for them to handle another person who is unavailable. This can then be taken as another sign that they are never going to have what they need and they can feel as though the world is against them.

Available

Yet, this is not to say that they won’t attract people who are available; but when this happens, there are going to be other reasons why they are not ‘compatible’. They may say that they are not their type or they may meet them whilst they are on holiday, for instance.

In this case, they are a good match but they live too far away, and while they may be happy to travel to see them, it is not going to match up with what they need. Having said that, there is also the chance that the distance is not a problem and this may be what feels comfortable, at least for a while.

Short-Lived

As they look back on their life, they may see that they have been in a number of intimate relationships. If they take a closer look, they may see that these relationships lasted for a certain amount of time and there may have been a pattern when it comes to why they came to an end.

Perhaps they felt as though the other person wasn’t a suitable or that they changed their mind and no longer wanted to settle down. The other person may have started to pull away just as their relationship was starting to go in the right direction.

Dating

Through being in an intimate relationship and having what they say they want, they may find it hard to understand why part of them wants to go with others. In the beginning, they say they want one thing, and after getting what they want, they say they want the complete opposite.
This doesn’t mean they will leave the relationships though, as it could cause them to hold onto their relationship and to go with others at the same time. When this happens, their need to expedience security is being fulfilled on the one side and their need to experience ‘freedom’ is being fulfilled on the other.

The Story

There is takes place in the external world and there is what occurs in one’s mind and the feelings they experience in their body. Each of these factors is often seen as what makes up the story of one’s life.

The reason the word ‘story’ is used is because one’s life is not fixed; it doesn’t have to be the way it is. Yet, in order for one’s life to change, it will be important for them to change.

A Deeper Level

So whether one is aware of their fear of intimacy or not, there is going to be a reason why they stop themselves from experiencing it. At a deeper level, they are not going to feel safe with intimacy, and until they feel that it is safe for them to experience intimacy, they are not going to allow themselves to truly experience it.

There is likely to have been a time in their life where their boundaries were not respected and this would have caused them to be smothered, and if they were not smothered, they may have been neglected and this would have caused them to feel abandoned. As a result of this, getting close to another person will be seen as something that will cause them to lose themselves or for their life to end.

The Years Go By

This is something they may have experienced during their beginning of their life and although the years may have passed, it is still defining their life. Intellectually, they might not remember what happened, but their body still remembers and this is all that matters.

Childhood

What they were aware of during their childhood years may have become what they have no awareness of during their adult years. During this time, being smothered would have been overwhelming, and as one couldn’t protect themselves they may have felt as though they were being annihilated.

Being abandoned at this time would have felt as though one was going to die, and this is because they would have had the ability to regulate their emotions. Through having these kinds of experiences, it is going to be normal for them to fear intimacy.

Awareness

To move beyond this challenge, it will be important for one to look at what is taking place within them and let go of the past that has remained within them. This may involve changing beliefs and mourning unmet childhood needs, among other things.

The assistance of a therapist and/or some kind of support group may be needed here. What matters here is that one reaches out for support and doesn’t suffer in silence.
http://www.trendypulse.com/category/why-do-some-women-fear-intimacy/

my Brother i don't know what politicians are turning graduates into. i am also a victim. i just concluded my meticulous service in Ekiti state, an outgone batch c corper. instead of the government to wade into our case of paying us our state allowee is busy probably using the money to fight his opponent. tell me how can anything good come out of this country? I can never forget in a hurry our services in the conduct of the first ever free and fair election Nigeria has recorded that brought him to power. tell me if we had compromised in discharging our duty in the election would he have the privilege of being the governor of the state? God help this country!

its more than 6 weeks now since we passed out of service in Ekiti state hoping that the new administration will address the payment of our state allowance but uptill now nothing is done about it. i am slowly getting disappointed at the Government of Fayose. The past administration has a clear cut of national youth service scheme thats why he never owed corpers in the state. i know the meticulous services we rendered in Ekiti state in our various PPAs teaching. we did bulk of d work. the government's silence or should i call it negligence on the past batch c corpers services in the state is inhumane. but one thing is clear. our colleagues that are still serving are watching what is happening. Tell mw how do you expect them to render selfless service to the state? well i have learnt a big lesson. But my advice to you mr Governor, i am following what is happening in the state ranging from the political chaos and inter party fracas.for the sake of peace and the good people of ekiti state that cherish and love you this is the time to mend every broken fences and stop the political fighting. if you want to mind or tame the opposition party it will only go a long way to distract you from fulfilling your promises to the people. may God guide you and give you the grace to lead the state aright.

First off, I, outgone batch c corps member with the state code no ( Ek/13c/0211) would like to congratulate His Excellency the Governor Elect of Ekiti State; Ayo Fayose on his successful swearing in. I am writing on behalf of thousands of corps members from different ethnicities and background of 2013/2014 Batch C corpers that successfully completed their clarion call in Ekiti State on the 15th of October, 2014. Sir, we understand the amiable relationship the Ekiti Government has been having with State NYSC. In view of this, the state decided to be paying each corps member #50,000 after the completion of their service in the state. I am a living witness of this cordial gesture accorded to the past batches of corpers. We, the outgone batch C corpers had always looked forward to this gesture which we understand due to the sudden strike embarked on by the state chapter of NLC. our state allowances were not remitted to us. I can never forget the doggedly and heroic role this batch of corps members played in the gubernatorial election that brought you to power. We didn't compromise our stance in fairness and justice in the conduct of the election. The election was indeed an epoch making election as it is adjudged as the freest and fairest election ever conducted in Nigeria. Sir, We are imploring on that good name that you are called; the people's Governor to facilitate the remittance of the #50,000 state allowance to the outgone batch c corpers as a sign of the state government's commitment and support to the youth service scheme. most of us have not left the state because of the unflinching trust they have in your government to effect the payment anytime soon. We pray that the almighty God will give you the wisdom to lead the state to a place of pride.

hello chairman happy new year pls am sori i jst sumbled on ur post na pls am interested akrahdad@yahoo.com

please i am seriously interested.i am a batch c corper n my ppa is at obada high school at ise orun but i have not been formally accepted by the school principal here is my no. 08062557086 please try n reach me because i am reporting on 8th of january to know whether i should accept d rejection letter n serve in your said school for that amount .

Nysc batch C corpers share your experiences so far in ppa

mehn i de kinda feel d area.my ppa na 4 ise orun guy persn no fit die of hunger 4 dis town. notin do us we must s
urvive wakki!!!