₦airaland Forum

WHERE IS HE FROM?
A man fell into a well and was screaming for help. His wife came with a rope to help. Down inside the well, the man looked at the rope and said
......"How much did you buy this rope"?
The wife said N1,500"
"What! The man shouted inside the well. "Return it to the seller now now and go to Mama Queen's
shop down the street. Her own is N300. Hurry up before I die here!!
I beg, which ethnic group do you think this man comes from?
A. Ijebu
B. Igbo
C. Hausa
D. Yoruba
E. Igbira
F. Benue

remember

WEALTH is when you buy a 1st class
return ticket to the UK just to pick a
dress. TROUBLE is slapping a soldier in
front of a barrack. FAITH is using the
last money with you to buy a wallet.
IRONY is a chairman of an okada association driving a range rover
sport.:s WISDOM is marrying your
landlord's daughter. STUPIDITY is
driving 6 cars in a rented apartment.:|
FOOLISHNESS is taking a N5000 cab to
watch a movie of N500 Luv is eatin onions while d girl eats suya........‪#‎drop‬ yours let roll up

Why are you checking out my post without commenting. ?" @ U






No Comment

A Jamaican man was making love to his wife for
the 1st time.
He screamed out suddenly; ''Ye man, Jah bless!''
And ran out of the room.
He came back with a giant bucket of water and
poured it on his wife's Kitty-Cat.
His frightened wife shouted; ''Watta gwan, rasta
man, what u do that for?.''
The man replied; Bomboclat
woman, this thing too sweet, me gwan dilute it,
remember me diabetic and sweet thing no good for me rasta man.

[color=#990000][/color](1) "we want to thank the president for bringing facebook to Nigeria" ...Information Minister Labaran Maku.
(2) "you press men,you always say there are no minerals in kano.
We have Coca Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite"...Bakin Zuwo.
(3)"Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria"...GEJ
(4) " I will water your school and fire your school"..Orji Uzoh Kalu
(5) "Nigerians dont panic, terrorist attack is everywhere ..maybe is our turn"...GEJ
(6) "I will rather kill myself than commit sucide"..Dame Jonathan
(7) "I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is
850,000 naira"...Atiku Abubakar
(Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." -Umoru Dikko.
(9) "Telephone is not meant for the poor"..David Mark
(10) "The worth of a child born and breed in Nigeria cannot be
compared to that in the United States" - Yakubu Gowon
if no b 9ja den no b 9ja

07059620250

Once upon a time, there lived a sorcerer and a
wizard.
Unfortunately one day, they died...
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Why re u still scrolling down
I said they died !
Abi Death get Part 2?

Conversation between God and billy...
Billy: God can I ask u a question?
God:sure!
Billy: promise u won't get madat me.
God: I promise.
Billy: why did u let so much happen to me
today?
God: how do u mean?
Billy:well I woke up late,
God: yes.
Billy:my car wouldnt start.
God: okay.
Billy:at lunch they made me the wrong
sandwich and I had to wait asthey prepared
another.
God: hmmm.
Billy : on my way home, my fone went dead
just as I was about to pick upa call.
God:Alright.
Billy: and on top of it all, wen I got home I
just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot
massager and relax, but it wudnt work!
Nothing went right! Why did udo dat?
God: let me see, the death angel was at ur bed
dis morning and I had to sendone of my
angels to battle him for ur life, I let u sleep tru
that.
Billy: (humbled) oh!
God:I did not want ur car to start because
there was a drunk driver on ur route that
wud have hit you if were on the road and
wud have killed you.
Billy: (ashamed)
GOD: the first person who made ur sandwich
today was sick and I didn't want you to catch
the flu, I knew u cudnt afford to miss work.
Billy: (embarrassed) okay.
God:your fone went dead coz the person dat
was calling was going to givefalse witness
about what u said on that call, I did not even
let u talk to him so u cud be covered.
Billy: (softly) I see God.
God: on the foot massager, it had shortage
that was going to throw out all of the power
in your house tonight. I didn'tthink u wanted
to be in the dark.
Billy: I'm sorry God.
God: don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in
all
things, the good and the bad.
Billy: I will trust u.
God: and don't doubt coz my plan for ur day
is always better than ur plan.
Billy: I won't, and God let me just tell u
thank u for everything today.
God:you are welcome my child, its just
another
day being your God and I love looking after
my children..
If ur grateful to God for all he has done and
the ones He is yet to do, type THANK U GOD

Dem say no mata how your tongue long reach, you nor fit lick your elbow
Dem say e nor get how your eye ball go pulp out , you not fit see you ear ...
95 % will try this
. ADd yours
. Lets keep Da FuN. rOLLiNG !!! yARGAhhh

ONLY FEW CAN GET IT . .. AS FOR THE REST LEMME READ THEIR COMMENTS

FAST AND NEAT MONOGRAM AND ALL KINDS OF PRINT

Print on your CLOTHE/FABRIC, CUSTOMISE YOUR SHIRTS, PROMOTIONAL ITEMS ,WE MAKE SPORT WEARS

CALL FOR OUR SERVICES 07059620250
EMAIL : DAVEOSAZ@GMAIL.COM

gingerman876:
Opera Mini doing good..... But the recently TEcno HiOS Browser is doing magic too. My default for browsing now.

How much did you buy your TEcno HiOS

AKPOS QUESTION!!!
How smart is your English? Now give me an English word that
starts with
letter T and ends with letter T.
LIKE THIS PAGE FOR MORE

Akpos wanted to get rid of
his nagging and
over demanding girlfriend.
He tried all attempts which
did not work out.
One day, an idea flashed into his head.
He logged in to
facebook, browse d into
people's profile and
suceeded in downloading 4
beautiful girls pictures. He printed it out
and wrote R.I.P
with a red ink on each of
the pictures. He hid
them in a magazine and
kept it ontop of his tel evision.
On saturday morning, his
girlfriend was cleaning the
house and saw the pictures
on the magazine. She
walked up to him. Girlfriend: Darling!
Akpos: Sweetie, what is it?
Girlfriend: I saw this pictures
on a magazine
at the top of the television,
who are these girls?
Akpos: Oh! Forget about
them, it'snot
important.
Girlfriend: It's important to
me, i need to know please.
Akpos: Ok, this one is
Onome, i met her at a
friend'swedding . We dated
and wanted to
get married but 2 months before the
wedding, she got involved
in a caraccident
and died. This one is Ngozi,
we met at Mr
Biggs restaurant in Ughelli, we dated for a
while. One day she was
goingto Lagos and
her car catched fire, she got
burntbeyond
recognition. This one is Amanda, she was my
neighbour's daughter who
came back from
London where she was
schooling on a visit.
We met and spent a night together. She was
involved in Dana Air Plane
Crash while
returning to London. Her
body was notfound.
This one, oh Eloho, her name is Eloho, we
went to visit my Pastor, on
our way back, a
truck ran over our Keke
Napep, she died
instantly, the driver and i survived.It was after
her that i met you.
Girlfriend: Met who? No be
me and youo! I
am no longer interested in
this relationship, bye bye.
(She quickly picked up her
bag and took to
her heels) DESCRIBE AKPOS IN ONE WORD



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THE MATHEMATICS OF LIFE
A small truth to make our Life 100% successful
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is equal to; 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K; 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E; 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
L+O+V+E; 12+15+22+5 = 54%
L+U+C+K; 12+21+3+11 = 47%
None of them makes 100%.
Then what makes 100%?
Is it Money? NO!
Leadership? NO!
Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE".
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E; 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100% Successful

Akpors is right back from school, tired and hungry
Mother: Akpors u are back?
Akpors: Yes mum..
Mother: What were u taught in school 2day?
Akpors: It's agriculture
Mother: Which topic?
Akpors: Desert.!
Mother: What is desert?
Akpors: A desert is a place where grass never grow
Mother: Gud boi..gv example?
Akpors: Uncle's head

COW BELL. OUR MILK !!!
. THIS LADY GET FUTURE oh ;!
Leaving her past behind her Kai
Enough milk 4 the unborn :PU
. UNILEVER SUPPOSE ENDORSE THIS LADY

WHAT IS THAT THING THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE AS YOU GROW

LETS BE SINCERE !;;;;!!

WHEN LAST DID YOU HAD A FIGHT ??

How Old were You When You gave your life to christ

[color=#000000][/color]ME AND MY FRIEND WERE KINDA HAVING SOME HOT ARGUEMENT ABOUT THESE TWO SAYS
>>>>> []YOU LIVE TO EAT
AND
. []YOU EAT TO LIVE. !!!

Mine is RED
BECAUSE IT REPS THE FOLLOWING :
RED IS LIFE
RED IS BOLD
RED IS FLASHY
RED IS YOUTHFUL
RED IS UNIQUE
AND MOST OF ALL RED IS MANCHESTER UNITD.

..... ADD YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS !!!

You all HAVE TURN THIS THREAD INTO FOOTBALL ARGUEMENT. ..WELDONE @ SULEIMAN CO...

WHAT IS YOUR DISGUSTING FOOD EVER
HAVE YOU EVER TRY
. EGG INSIDE OGBONOR SOUP WITH AMALA. ,??*HAVE YOU EVER EATEN EBA AND BEANS ??
. WHEN I TRIED IT, I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO VOMIT


. ADD YOURS IF YOUVE GOT ANY !!!

slyIsaac:
SLY

. YOU MEAN SILLY. ??

[img][/img]Guyz,wetin b ur nickname wen u dey secondary school. Letz c wu get d funniest name. Mine na L1Abe

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: NOT A COMPETITION...
Just to remind us that we are not in any
competition with anyone.
You were born in a first class hospital, I was
delivered at home, we both survived.
You went to a private school and I went to a razz
government school, we both ended in the same
higher institution.
You woke up from the bed and I woke from the
floor, we both had a peaceful night rest.
Your outfits are all expensive, mine are all simple
and cheap, we both still cover our unclothedness.
You ate fried-rice and roasted chicken, I ate pap
and akara but we both still ate to our satisfaction.
You ride on Lexus Jeep, Range Rover, G-Wagon,
Hummer Jeep and I use public transport but we
still got to our various destinations.
You may be reading this post from your sony
Xperia, BBZ10, Q10, iPhone6+ and I typed it with
my Tecno H7, we still see the same thing.
You got married in Dubai and I married in Abia, we
both wore ring and people ate rice.
Life is not a competition and there are different
ways to get a lot of things done, different lanes
all
leading to the same destinations.
Just because your neighbour is doing things
faster
does not mean you are failing.
Happiness doesn't come having everything, but
from making the best out of what you have, it's all
about how you see yourself.
Stay on your own lane and forge ahead with your
Creator,
Don't look back...
Have a blessed day...

07059620250
am in for your game
Thanks alot