andromida:


Who has been behaving strangely MIL or wife?Why does she want you guys to visit her mom? Does she know you are angry with her mom?

MIL of course and my wife is aware that I'm not happy with her mom.

andromida:


If this is the issue why are you talking about your wife's infidelity because it has nothing to do with the sick relative. That happened sometimes back this is happening now i am just trying to understand what you are really trying to say. I get the feeling you are still angry with your MIL the way she handled your wife's infidelity. So that issue may be coloring other issues you normally wouldn't take to heart.Next time your wife brings up the sick relative issue you can tell your wife you don't feel comfortable the way her mom spoke to you and that is why you have decided to keep your distance. No one enjoys being disrespected.

It has a lot to do with it because she started behaving strangely since the occurence of that incidence. She's not happy with the involvement of the father Inlaw. She kept on bringing the issue everyday, that she want us to go and vist her mum and I always let her know that she's free to go but I won't because I can't be going to somewhere when I will not be welcomed.

andromida:
I don't understand why you are angry, your MIL dos not want you to know about her relatives so what? If you have forgiven your wife and you are at peace with your decision face your immediate family and forget about the MIL anytime your paths cross you simply be polite and kind to her you don't have to be buddies with your MIL.

Thanks for your response, I've decided to stay away until this particular relative of hers got sick and I felt it won't be nice to pretend that I don't know about it, I inquired the whereabout so as to go and visit him in the hospital. Besides, the MIL keep on telling my wife that I'm being rude to her and that would I have treated my own mother the same way.

I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?