₦airaland Forum

jaymichael:
Sorry for your plight. The solution to your issues lies with your husband. I live in a compound I built with my Mom. I have my own room and parlour self contained apartment while my mom has her single room self contained same with my younger brother with his family. Kitchen and toilet is present in our individual apartments.
I Love my mum but I let her understand that my wife is my first priority with my son and her loyalty lies with me before her.
There are times when my mother wants to become bossy, I immediately remind her where her boundaries lie and I judge any issues between them with all fairness because my loyalty is to justice fairness and equality because if tomorrow I go to meet my creator, I will go alone. I didn't come to the earth with any of them neither I am going with any of them. I rule my home without being afraid of offending any of them as long as I stand on the pedestal of truth and fairness, this is what they both know and they are both afraid of my angry reactions if any of them tries to cross the boundary to disrespect and intimidate each other.
My wife cooks for my mother and my mother babysits and takes care of our son if my wife is busy or when she goes to Lagos Island to stock her shop. A wife living with her mother in-law isn't a bad thing if the husband can rule his home well without falling prey to the antics of victims mentality women play.
For now their relationship with each other is just ok but not perfect. God forbid that their relationship deteriorates that they can't tolerate each other, I will move out to another place.
Both my mum and my wife are beautiful souls but as humans too much familiarity may breed contempt.

I Agree with what your saying , this whole living together has made me so unhappy cos my husband doesn’t defend me cos he is scared of his mother and he just wants me to stay with his mum he doesnt really want us to move out . He doesnt understand me, i dont even know if my marriage will survive thats my main concern now.

ednut1:
Talk to your husband

He says he understands that his mum has done wrong and that he doesnt condone what shes done but like i said before he's laid back about it, he doesn't seem worried and he's not concerned about how i feel. Since he hit me and said nasty things to me i feel very low i'm not eating properly or sleeping properly i feel very depressed.

Please help me out with some helpful advice in my current situation. And please forgive my bad English.
Here is the situation:
I've been married for 3 years now, i have a 2 year old son, pregnant with baby number 2 , i've been living with my inlaws since i got married. My mother in law is very controlling and always wants her own way, she has been causing problems for a while now. My husband knows what shes like and knows how unhappy i am but he's so laid back about the situation. She doesnt like my family coming round i can never invite family or my friends round and if they do come i'm always nervous because i'm scared she will be disrespectful. Her family come round all the time and she completly leaves me out. I dont feel like its my home and i feel i need permission for everything. Now look, I'm about to deliver the baby in 3 weeks and I have so much pain in my body that I can not describe. I feel like sleeping all the time, I can not eat because I have problem with my stomach, I can not sleep properly because of the belly getting big, I'm tired and my back is disappointing me. On the top: my mother in law who has 7 kids, wants me to cook for the whole family , clean and wash and serve and sit with her and entertain her! I asked my husband to make his breakfast for him self now when I am asleep because I can not sleep in the night and when I do I pray no one wakes me up so I can sleep alittle longer.. But she gets mad when I sleep or take rest! What should I do?She thinks I'm faking sickness, My husband in front of her my husband stays quiet! He pretends like I'm not a good wife I don't look after him and son on.. But I stay 24/7 at home and have got no friend to talk to, I cook and clean and wash but she doesn't gets happy!
m so depressed now and i want to get out i want my own place my husband has enough money to rent a 2 bedroom house for us but he wont get one he talks about getting one but never gets round to it cos deep down hes scared of his mom. my husband is happy living with his mum and siblings but I live in fear of his mum cos she is a bully who always wants her own way she wont alllow her son to stand on his own feet.I have told my husband exactly how i feel but when i talk to him it often ends in an argument and My husband beat me 4 days ago and I fell and got a lot pain in my back. I told my mother in law but she ignored it.. I love my husband and forgive him but I'm getting tired of all this.. No one asks me about my health about my problems about my situation. I'm sorry for long post . Please advice me what should I do to handle this matter