₦airaland Forum

Some years ago, I had this girl who I wanted to date but it ended up going nowhere. (See this thread https://www.nairaland.com/4248516/shes-not-happy-changed for the back story). After all that happened, we lost contact and I didn’t hear from this girl for a very long time, though I still had her number somewhere on my phone.

I recently ran into this girl again after so many years. She hadn’t changed much – the same sassy behavior - and she first of all accused me of cutting her off. I sha gave her a not-too-sincere apology, stating it was the best for both of us to move on after everything that had happened. She told me I owed her big-time for what I had done to cause the breakup with her then-boyfriend. I said there was no way I could pay her back for that except if I dated her and became her new boyfriend, something I quietly reminded her that she didn’t want. She told me her stance remained the same and she only saw me as a brother, nothing else.

We parted amicably that day after she made me promise to call her. I told her I would do my best to. I didn’t even remember about this promise until she reached out again about two weeks later to rant at me for forgetting. I told her I had been quite busy since the last time we spoke. I told her I would find a time to drive down to her place (I learned she had moved out of state then) to pay her a visit just to get her off my neck.

I drove the three hours to her one Saturday this past July. She welcomed me with a broad smile and a full-body hug. I won't lie, she looked very delectable and every now and then I caught myself staring at the swell of her breasts bulging against her armless top, and the smoothness of her creamy thighs in the bum shorts she had on. I reminded myself I was just there on a “brotherly” level and nothing else. I spent a couple of hours chatting about everything, how she moved away after school, her new job, everything and nothing. I didn’t know how much time had gone by until it was dark outside. I bade her goodbye and she said the next time she came into town, I had to take her out. I told her I would do my best. I was pretty much smiling my way back, until when she sent me a message stating – “I’m happy I have my big BROTHER back.” That message just soured my mood. So after all these years, she still saw me as a sucker.

She came down after about three weeks. I at first did not want to attend to her, but I was very bored that day and had nothing to do. She had told me she bunked with one of her friends and was waiting for me to come take her out. I eventually went to pick her up and we decided to visit a few lounges. The music was exquisite and the drinks flowed freely. I had never known her to drink alcohol but throughout the course of our “date”, this girl downed glass after glass of Pink Rosa. I too was getting quite tipsy after a while, and pretty soon the effects of the liquor began to take over. I realized there was no way I was going to drive us both safely in the state we were in, so I remember ordering an Uber ride at around three in the morning. I also vaguely remember her straddling my laps and sticking her tongue into my mouth while my hands roamed around her curves as the driver took us to our destination. Why he didn’t end the ride there and then still befuddles me to date. The following (mid) morning, we both woke up to find ourselves among the jumble of stained bed linen in a naked, drunken hangover, our clothes strewn everywhere except on our bodies.

“What have you done?” she asked, her bloodshot eyes wide in horror.

There was no use denying what had happened. The smell of raw sex hung in the chill air of my bedroom. All sorts of bodily fluids dried in scaly crusts on our skin, and I noticed copious lines of dried cum snaking down her belly, laps, and inner thighs where I had obviously pulled out and ejaculated. My deflated member felt crusty with her dried fluids.

“What have you done!!!” she yelled again, and her voice exploded in my head like an amplifier. I winced at the pain.

She eventually calmed down and grabbed her clothes off the floor before storming in all her naked glory to the bathroom. I lay back to steady my head and heard the sound of the shower behind the closed door. She eventually came out and demanded I take her back to her friend’s place. I cleaned up myself and not once did she look at me and utter a word as we walked outside. It was only when we got to the parking lot and didn’t find my car that I remembered we had come back in an Uber. She literally cursed me out while I got a ride for her.

Later on, when I had come down from my hangover, the events slowly started coming back from the fog of my alcohol-induced memory of the night before - the deep Frenching in the Uber ride, staggering into my apartment, the ripping off of our clothes and the aggressive mashing of our bodies together as we sucked our faces, the f1ngering, f£llatio, cunilinġus, eventual six-niner, and the culminating event, the aggressive intercourse. The booze coursing through our bloodstream acted as a booster as we tried to outdo each other. I remember us going at it for the rest of the night, both of us eventually collapsing just as the early morning sun started streaking through the window blinds.

She didn’t call me for a very long time after that day, and when I tried to call her, she rejected it. After a while, the calls stopped going through and instead directly to voicemail. I eventually stopped trying after two weeks and several direct-to-voicemail attempts.

Last week, she finally reached out. I just listened quietly as she raved and ranted over the phone, calling me several unprintable names. Any other guy would have simply hung up, but as I listened, she sounded more of whining like a puppy that lost its toy than someone who was angry. She told me that I had to own up and take responsibility for what I had done to her. I asked her what she wanted me to do, and she said I was the man and I should figure it out on my own.

The only way I see myself “taking responsibility” is to date her, but I don’t think I want her as a girlfriend. That time has come and gone.

Ee wa gbami l'owo babe yi oh!!! See me se wahala. Na by force to be in the friendzone? Werin dey do this babe sef?

Incase you are all wondering what i'm ranting about, na this same yeye girl. I don tell m say make we move on from what all happened, but she still no wan gree. From my perspective, she still wants me to treat her like I used to (splash the cash), but doesn't want to give anything in return. She wan chop clean mouth.

I've told her I can't do the things I used to do for her anymore. she took it personal, calling me all sorts of names, but I just stood firm. Communication between us dwindled a lot. I was fine with that. I took everything as my loss, swallowed my pride, and decided to move on with my life.

Recently I've been chyking this new girl. So far, I've played my game slow, not wanting to make the same mistake I made with the other girl. You can imagine my surprise when the other girl(the one the whole story is all about) left me a long winded note in my mail. I read it and till date I am still fuming. I won't bore you with the details, but the gist is she said I was unbelievable, that I could stoop so low as to toast her "friend", that I used to be her "big brother", that the angel in me disappeared the day she said she no longer had feelings for me. She kept on referring to the day I told her to take my account off the gym, and that for my information, I caused her "boyfriend" to break up with her and she's now boyfriendless. I should not bother trying to explain myself to her cos she would cause a scene and embarrass me in front of everybody if I do. I was like, ee wa gba mi. Na by force?

I didn't even dignify her note with a response. Now she sent me a text over the weekend, requesting my help. I just dey shake my head since.

Ayomideen:
So they're currently destroying Moses' n Hazard's careers abi

Yeah, like the way they destroyed Drogba and Lampard's careers.

Don't mind the mumu.

Na yam?

chigoizie7:
Kudos, my only pain was that u didn't fucccck her.

Same here dude. same here. And it's not that I didnt have the chance to. I just didn't at that moment, and she was grateful I didn't take advantage of her weak moment.

chigoizie7:
Today is 1st January, tell us, did u go? And what really happened ?







Btw, I have told girls times without number. That I might change my mind on things I said I won't do. But trying to cajole me? Hell no, I am never going back in my words. If u like call me jerk or call me whatever u like, even stingy. Na u sabi.

Let me summarize it for you incase you didn't get the gist...I went to see her on xmas day, we agreed to talk out our differences, we met a few days later and she wanted me to go back to treating her the way I used to but she wanted to move on to another person, I told her no, she got pissed and blocked me from her whatsapp account.

Happy new year to you all. I'm pretty sure everyone wondered what happened between me and this girl. Well I decided to humor myself and honor her invitation during Christmas. Though she had other visitors (she stays with her older sister and her husband), she had a little time to chat. We both agreed we had to sit down and talk things out, but not on that day.

We didn't have the chance to talk until a few days ago. I gave her the chance to speak her mind. She told me the reason why she had been acting all distant to me was because I had decided to be so mean to her after she told me she no longer had feelings for me. She said she couldn't be with me, and that I should understand that instead of being a jerk. She also mentioned i had caused so much trouble between her and her "ex" (she had mentioned it some time ago they were no longer dating), and one of the main reasons they had "broken up" was because he thought she had slept with me.

She made it clear to me we can't be as close as we used to be, and that we can't do things we used to do before. She told me that it was one of the most difficult things she had to do, but she just had to. I just sat there quietly taking everything in. She even got scared at some point, wondering why I didn't say anything. I simply told her I was just waiting for her to finish.

At the end of it all, I told her I agree, we cannot be together, and I couldn't do things for her anymore. I promised her I was going to totally stay away. I apologised for causing any issues between her and her boo, and she said she had it in mind to call him up and resume their relationship. I told her i had no issues with that. She told me she takes me as a "big brother" and she wants to keep it that way. I just laughed inside. That night, I had a lomg think. This was a girl I cared so much about, who I pampered like a queen, and who I really loved. She wanted me to change back to who I was but she didnt want to concede ground. She needed a mugu, a door mat.

Last night, I sent her a whatsapp message. One of the things we used to do before was go to the gym together. I usually paid the monthly fees while she paid the yearly subscription. In the message, I told her due to the new situation at hand, I cannot go on doing that anymore. I just couldn't bring myself to keep paying for a membership I no longer would use, and I was going to take my account off it. I also mentioned we wouldn't have our usual lunch anymore, and I couldn't take her out or give her any rides. I guess she got angry again, saying that I was callous and ungrateful, and that from what we discussed the other day, she couldn't believe I could only think about myself. I wasn't surprised. Right then, I knew she just wanted me to "spill the cash" without anything in return. I now knew this girl just wanted me as a cash cow. I simply wished her a happy new year, but by then i had a feeling she had blocked me from her chatlist cos my messages no longer delivered.

I know I lost out in the end, but it taught me a lesson - never show a girl you care too much about her. She'll just use you and take you for a fool. The mistake I made was I didn't sleep with her when the chance came. I decided to play it easy then, thinking I could build on what we had. I was mistaken.

There's this girl I met sometimes last year. We became instant friends and along the line we grew close. i would say we did fall in love with each other for a while, but something serious came up that caused a big rift between us and we had to stop what we were trying to build between us. I still hoped that with time, we would still visit what we were trying to do, but it became clear to me that she didn't want us to continue. We decided to remain friends. Or so I thought.

Over the next few months, I tried to rekindle the feelings we had for each other, but she kept squashing my efforts. Still, she kept insisting I do the things I used to do for her. One evening, we had a small arguement. She then asked me bluntly the way I've been acting, it seems I still love her. I told her yes, I still do. I asked does she still have some love for me? She said NO, that she had killed her love for me a long time ago. I felt used. I felt she drove a dagger in my heart. She immediately noticed the change in my demeanor and tried to apologize, but I told her it was okay.

I left her and went home. I decided right there and then that I wouldn't be as nice to her as I used to. I stopped doing the things i usually did. It's not like I cut her off totally, but I didn't allow her to have her way with me on things I used to let slide.

She noticed these and started complaining. One evening, she told me she wanted to do something financially. Usually when she asked me for help I would not hesitate, but this time around I told her she would find someone to help her. That's when she let loose. Saying that she noticed I've changed ever since she told me she doesn't love me anymore, that since that night I've been acting weird. Is that how a man's love for a woman waxes cold? I asked her how does she expect me to feel? I'm not her boyfriend and she already has someone else. Why doesn't she ask him? i told her I can't continue to do things for someone I know cannot be mine. She got upset and called me a jerk, saying I don't care about her anymore, blah blah.

Recently she sent me a message. She said I'm no longer her hero, that she didn't know I was this way, etc. I'm like this girl's looking for someone she can push around. I'm no longer that guy. She's like i'm too proud, I have an inflated ego about myself, etc, and she doesn't want to see me again. I said fine. There's nothing i can do about that now. You're with someone else.

I've not seen her for a while now. Today she sent me a Whatsapp message sayig she wants me to come to her house for xmas. I'm contemplating not going. Her boyfriend graduated and moved out of state, and I think she needs someone to hold her this festive period.