₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Typical case of two people trying to change each other as it suits them. This is what they have in common. If they spent the same amount of time appreciating, encouraging and supporting each other as they spend on finding fault with each other, their problems would dissolve.

√√

liefdesverhaal:
Once again, I am not asking for a validation from you. I shared a troubling heart in anonymous forum. I came here to seek other people opinion from their experiences and ways they deal with it.

And I specifically said before I am not "infallible" hence the reason I came here for suggestion on the ways I can make it better.

She has her own concerns too but I am pointing the very basic that needs to be adjusted for us to have a functional home.

Oh
I must have hit the nerve behind your neck
Sorry oooo


Pls keep praying and fasting
God will change her for better

liefdesverhaal:
@Dyt

Typical of what?

I am just pointing out what i perceive as part of the reasons she act the way she does. This is anonymous forum. I just want people to understand the situation and advice accordingly.

Although I have never said such a thing to her but I think it is part of the problem. Because I am not with the mother of my first child does not mean that I am not active in his life. That makes things different.

Thanks anyway for your contribution and I will never make such a statement to my wife.

Sometimes it openly amazes me when men like you come on here to say my wife is this and that
you don't sound all that good too, you have your faults, yes she might too but in all I see written in your last posts, you are not far from being a bad husband too


Phew

It fits her sha

liefdesverhaal:
I came from a very respectful and homogeneous home while she came from a broken home that sees life as it comes. She didn't grow to see her mother take care of her father at home or how to manage home as a housewife. From what i later understood, she has been very very disrespectful of elders since she was a child.

.

How would you feel if that was said to your first child?
Now I see why she's so rude to you
How many times have you said these to her. How many times have you called her uncultured?

Typical

justjify:
You see yourself? So of all that there is in the picture na him NIPs you fit see? *in mama piss voice* continior

Nawa oo
See his nippppllllleeessss
It is well

Soliloque
When and how do you know he/she is the one? (X24)

Nawa oooo

Mindfulness pls come over

Not just once or twice but at least once EVERYDAY, my fiance uploads pictures and memes where he is professing his undying love for his mother. Some of them read “I will love ONLY my mother till the end of time”, “No woman can ever take the place of my mother”, “I can never love a woman the way I love my mum” and so many others.

As much as I love a man that shows his mother continuous love and affection, isn’t this a bit too much? Isn’t it a bit scary that my fiance is posting pictures that says “I can never love a woman the way I love my mum”? What about me – his wife to be?

This clearly means that he could never love me as much as he loves his mum and he could never love our daughter (when we have one) as much as he loves his mum. Isn’t this something to be worried about? The fact that I would always be second in his life after his mum of course?

Every time I see those uploads, I constantly worry and I have not been able to summon the courage to ask him about it because for someone who loves his mum that much, I would hate to present myself as the enemy for suggesting that he should include his wife in the list of those he loves the most.

But then again, if he needs to be told to include his wife then maybe there’s no point after all.

Please advice me OUR. I need to know that I’m not crazy for thinking his uploads are a bit too much for someone that is engaged to a woman he supposedly loves. Tell me what you think OUR. Am I really crazy?

REPLY:

WOW! As I was reading your story Elvina, I couldn’t get past the “I will love ONLY my mother till the end of time”. WOW! ONLY HIS MOTHER? That’s really deep!

If I were you Elvina, I would borrow a leg from Ben Johnson and run as fast as I can. That guy spells trouble. I might be wrong but I refuse to stick around to find out.

I don’t know if you have met his mum yet but I can bet a lot of money that she wouldn’t like you and even if she did, she would be in total control of your marriage and when you try to deny her control, you would automatically become the enemy and you know whose side he is going to take when that eventually happens.

To be honest, you really need to summon up the courage to talk to him about his uploads. Ask him exactly what he means by them all and ask him where he places you in his life.

You might be surprised that there is a very reasonable explanation for all of it. Maybe he lost a bet or his account was hacked or maybe he would reiterate the posts and tell you to your face that he couldn’t even love you the way he loves his mother.

If the latter is the case then need I say more?

The ball will then be in your court. You either stick around and deal with whatever comes your way or you move and and find someone else who will treat you with as much importance (if not more) as he treats his immediate family – given that you are going to become his family as well.

I hope I have been of help. Thanks for sharing!

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!

-OUR

JustHere2Observ:
Email me so I can send a list for the dowry... Since you are older, you get to pay the dowry. Hehehehehe

I have got the money

JustHere2Observ:
Lol, you will have to wait another 10 years boo.

Age is just a number

Emmaus12:
Bia go and sleep.......umu azi

ehix89:
oya cum and chop my moni

How much you get?

JustHere2Observ:
So what if you don't get pregnant? You will remain a spinster? Nice

I will marry your brother na

pinkiepetitee:
ya a clown honestly

pinkiepetitee:
pls u and Dyt shd carry urselves to romance session ya saying sth serious shes 'carrying ' it somewhere else

Pls tell him to gimme money

DeMekus:
Yes na. Association of Nairaland Ladies (ANL) .

Buhahahahaha

DeMekus:
Some of your colleagues were beginning to think that the concept is only peculiar to men alone.

Lmao at colleagues

Main hoon na

DeMekus:
You wanted to confirm he doesn't shoot blanks, right?

No jor

DeMekus:
Thank God this is coming from a lady.

What about it?

amtheone:
Ok. Nothing personal though, was just enjoying ur reply. Gudnite

Did I tell you I am sleeping?

Richokorie:
DeeTus, U sure u havnt been chatting wt a guy in disguise (Dyt) all along?

Yes
I am also very masculine
6 packs
Flat bum
Tall
Slim
Bald
Baritone voice

You can try too na

amtheone:
I read all but didnt want to bring up dat part. Now looking at both men in ur hands, did you lay d condition to both of them? So you actually kept the other man as "a spare tyre". Dty, u were just a wonderful woman. But if the two had failed, what would have been your next option? And dont say it is not possuble.

:DD
Well he only got lucky ni
I actually did for just him as the other was not a spare oo, him na main main, just that I was dating the first before the other
Let's just say i wanted it sha
I was old enough


Chai
See my life history outside
E don do
Lemme

amtheone:
Lol. You were very funny with your request. But on a serious note, would you have held him accountable if after some rounds no "big tommy"?

You no read am ni
He was almost gone
There was another suitor by the corner

elprint:
Dear, trust me, I so much love that I can't hurt her. I haven't hurt her in anyway. I have tried severally to find out from her why she's been acting in an awkward manner, she would always say nothing. The last time we spoke, I asked if I was still the man, and she said "I can't I can't say oo." I feel she wants to frustrate me so that I say I want out.

Well this time
Try to see her and talk it over
Go home and cry after then
Sorry its the hard truth

amtheone:
Ohhh. What would you have done if it did not play out according to your plans? Would you have kept on trying untill you took in before planing for the wedding? And how did feel asking your fiance then "you must impregnate me before wedding" lol.

I can imagine the look on his face.

Hehehe
He wanted marriage
So I told him preggy first, once we both agreed, that month I didn't escape it
He was even lucky sef cos I was about breaking up and following another man

elprint:
Thanks for this one. Sincerely, I don't know what to do to revive our relationship. Since Monday I decided not to call her and she's not called too. This isn't the case before.

@Dyt

Have you called her over?
Take her out
Gifts
Try something you haven't done in a while
She won't tell you that's reason she's acting it and on another note, are you sure you didn't offend her?
Did she read your msgs or anything?
You need to be sure you haven't cracked that lady in anyway