₦airaland Forum

Yuneehk:
You never want to overcome this fear? If you get a very good job that'll require you be on the sea most of the time, you'll decline because of your phobia for water?

so it's overcomeable? hmmmmm my dear I will take such job of course and buy towels to wipe my tears often. I can't stand the thought of dying in such a huge pool of water or being food to fishes. it gives me the creeps. so let me ask water no matter the size doesn't scare you?

Yuneehk:
Hunie can we go for a swim on the beach? Don't say no

hahahahaha you wanna kill sumborri. swim? not even entering a boat, but an actual swim by me? hahahahaha you just wanna laugh at a weeping old man

Dfinex:
Choi. ....I don laff belle scatter. Op thank God the boat did not capsized. However I will like to assure u that the water ways are the safest ever.

really? safest? with fishes everywhere? with drowning a possibility? mba. Na na na

Cholls:
my brother Eddygourdo how you dey...Thank baba God for your life

I dey my guy. e Don tey. how your side

I am a man of many phobias, fear of chickens and tolotolo, fear of heights, fear of tight spaces, fear of disordered pictures, so so many are they that my monicker should simply be EGWU.

the phobia that almost resulted in my commuting murder is my fear of water. last two years, before the oil crash , God picked my call and I got an opportunity in the oil and gas industry (all the babes don't bother with the pm's cos I lost that job) so without notice I was expected to go by boat to Bonny to see one strong man like that. I decided to wait for the covered boat as I couldn't dare see myself in the uncovered one. the journey to Bonny was pretty straight forward while I tried my utmost to keep my bowels from rupturing it's contents out of fear.

on sighting land, joy overwhelmed me and I hoped my return journey will be similarly smooth in 3days time. on the morning of my return journey there was just one boat. many boaters claimed they won't work today cos the sea would be rough since its been raining cats and dog all through. stupid me trying to save up on hotel bill jumped in with some LNG workers and some corpers. I selected a place hidden inside to sit in hope that the shark will likely eat up others before it can get to yours truly.

the journey began and due to rough seas, another longer route was taken which made us delve farther into the ocean than we normally should. suddenly the rains trippled. the sea kept rising and falling. I thank God for the water that kept splashing inside as it hid the tears flowing down my cheeks. I was in this mod of sober reflection when on corpers suddenly got up and said he wants to stand at the middle of the boat cos rain was beating him. the boat driver ran mad in anger as boaters tend to sit people according to weight to prevent a capsize and the actions of the boy was clearly dis_ stabilizing the weight balance. all efforts to get this boy to sit down fell on deaf ears, the boat driver and his engine man confessed to us all that they have lost one engine and are managing just one and hoping we get to ph in time and we better warn that useless corper.

this boy vehemently refused because the water from the rain was touching him, suddenly the last engine lost power, once I heard it, my anal sphincter lost pressure. I knew death by drowning has finally come my way, I queried why I am so stingy to a fault, I cursed the so called strong man who insisted I embarked on this terrible journey. till I observed a scuffle, water has started seeping into The obanise boat, the boat driver , his engine boy and the corpse were in a scuffle as they attempted to throw him over board. since water was rushing into the boat and many were already crying and panicking, coupled the fact that we were abit off route and other boats aren't coming to even aid any rescue effort, some passengers including me joined the driver and we threw the corper over board.

we started the single engine and it gave power while we tried scooping out water with our bare hands, we moved abit while watching that young man bouncing in the water, crying, calling all his ancestors in different languages to come save him. due to the heavy rains and waves in less than two minutes he had gone far away from us heading into the ocean ( he was floating as we all have life vest on). we went back to him and asked him say hope now he won't be bothered by the trickles of rain anymore.

he swore amidst tears and promised good behavior, the engine boy dived in and dragged him into the boat. he sat quietly in the rain till the end of the journey.

I asked the driver what would have happened if the boat had capsized and he looked at me and laughed. he said " see my hands, see my engine boy's hands Na bicep full am, I will swim from here to ph or Bonny and in three days come and get my boat and whoever is left".

I looked at my bicepless hands and knew that enough is enough. I have officially divorced water. goodnight

ZarZar:
True. Because it makes no sense for a doctor, who is probably a logical man, to piss away his hard earned money on just company, when he could get a whole lot more for less elsewhere. It doesn't add up.

my dear don't rule out that constant fact that alot of Mumu men are hovering about, and she has found his Mumu button. he could also be a money miss road or even on more spells that go beyond her Togolese hocus-pocus.

anyway the babe don hammer. blessed is the girl that finds a foolish man. her pockets will never run dry apparently

when I thought I was the only one who observed those never do wells.

ZarZar:
All of that just for "company "? I'm not buying it. Either she is sleeping with him in secret or she is using some Togolese hocus pocus on him.

very likely the Togolese hocus-pocus

she should stay there. her loose brain needs the confinement

PenisCaP:
Sent u pm u neva replied

I did bro, network is crazy where I am. will resend a message to you. hope u good

total stamp deduction in my account currently stands at 15k. I am waiting for 8am. I go use craze shut down their banking hall. they will tell me when I posted a letter via their bank that I have to pay stamp duties.

who deducts such large amounts from someone's account. I heard that's for Feb and may, that more deductions will be made to cover from December till may. person go die today for that bank walahi

over loading rickety buses in order to make quick gains. I wish the injured a speedy recovery

haha haha. the idiot think say Na nairaland him dey. see how he just disgraced himself. maybe he would accuse them of being afonja, Igbos, IPOB, BMC etc

what was she thinking. but most importantly who leaked that picture. she did that likely in good faith, in what faith did the person that leaked it public do his or hers. well more reason to never trust anybody no matter what they claim. it's God for us all, but whomever is slow, may the devils take him

very lovely concept. but that one three posts away, obu ezigbote aru. tufiakwa

this is an unfortunate story I had to seek permission from someone to share. there could be a lesson or two to learn from it.

two months ago a friend of mine told me about having seen the biggest ass in his entire life on his way from work. a polytechnic is nearby and unfortunate to say, that is the most useless schools to grace this country. not even one pretty girl in that place (a federal poly for that matter). when he told me, I disagreed because I have searched and searched and finally gave up and secondly I felt he was teasing me knowing my affinity for big booty. since we work together he decided to come pick me up at closing time. actually I drove behind him while we went to the girl's house. infact she met us on one street and people, this girl was loaded. she had one of the biggest I have ever set my eyes on and I have seen alot.

after introductions, I felt so bad at being unfortunate not to have met her first that I drove away in anger and left my friend there. fast forward to two weeks ago. I hadn't seen this friend of mine in a awhile because I was angry that he met that girl before me, and also the bad character he has where he invites me to an outing with some supposed girls, and he picks the plump one leaving the skinny one looking at me. this Is a fellow who knows the kinda food I eat. anyway I noticed he was moody and about too skinny and I inquired, despite taking him awhile. he pulled me aside and told me was still shocks me to date.

apparently (he didn't tell me this at first), the first day he met her, he took her home that night, they slept together. one thing he found weird was that the girl was every ready for anything he brought to the bedroom ranging from anal, booty licking, fisting and even domination. according to him he hadn't enjoyed himself so much since he returned from England. the day he took me to her house and I left, he took her home too and invited his lesbians flatmate and her gf and everyone took turns in a foursome. the girl never complained and to his shock on both occasions woke up very early to leave. never asked for a Kobo nor receive his offer to go to flex in a public joint.

then came the bomb shell, one day he called her up again, and she said "
who is this" , "
ow did you get my number,
have we met before?

thinking it was a joke, he got annoyed and the lady swore they have never met, he paid her a visit and she repeated same and vehemently refused to show him her house ( met on that same street). he still felt she was denying everything and started reminding her of the sex etc and she told him he must be drunk. that nothing like that ever happened between them. my friend went home thinking its all these games women play till he noticed that misfortune has overtaken his life.

the engines of his jeep and sedan knocked same day, the house he was building somewhere in Lagos collapsed in same week, he started having strange illness that makes him act like he is epipleptic. not long after he heard his mixed race daughter died. this coupled with other things made him seek out this girl again. but she has refused to see him. I told him I will follow him in company of those two lesbian ladies. she can't say she never met us.

as usual we met at that same street, all she will say is my house is around here but will never take you to the place ( was told by some natives whom I stylishly asked, that the Anglican and seventh day cemetery is what's located around that axis and not homes). I noticed she wore same white skirt that showed the gigantic ass, and same black top. similar to what she wore the day I met her, similar to what my friend claimed she wore when he met her twice. when we inquired she claimed she had never met any of us before. those two girls quickly took to their heels and jumped a bike. I kept looking at her in horror with my friend sweating profusely nearby. I boldly asked her why and all she could mutter was

SHEY UNA PREEK NO DEY STAY ONE PLACE. I asked why she would say that and yet claim she doesn't know us. she looked me to my eyes and said it. I don't know you, I don't know him, never met you and unless u want to have a business with me, stop calling me and stop coming here.

we left there, he wanted to fight her and I stopped him from such show of shame that will most likely result in our sacking. I advised him to take a vacation abroad, at least to console his wife and that hopefully all these are just nothing. a pure figment of his imagination.

deep in my heart I know this is no imagination, he has traveled, but I have still seen that girl on that same street, with her gigantic ass in white skirt and a black top. how could it all be a coincidence.

would a church deliverance work best or the juju thing. he isn't neither but am sure he will jump at any solution once he returns and still feels haunted.

when a woman is so free and cheap, that it's baffling why she would be that way and yet gain nothing in return. it's best to step back and without thinking it
twice. FLEE