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Celebrities / Re: Daddy Freeze Slams Chimamanda Adichie For Hillary Clinton's Twitter Bio Question by elpigrafa: 2:44pm On Apr 24, 2018
NovusHomo:


She won some prize and now she thinks she is the greatest that has ever existed in the literature/writing universe.

One would think you've won something worthwhile.
Celebrities / Re: Daddy Freeze Slams Chimamanda Adichie For Hillary Clinton's Twitter Bio Question by elpigrafa: 2:42pm On Apr 24, 2018
EWAagoyin:
This chidi of a woman is everything a black woman shouldn't be lipsrsealed

Self-respecting? Successful? Vocal? Intelligent? Bold?

Look, she's not at fault for whatever it is you are going through so take your misplaced aggression elsewhere.

And at least learn to spell the name of the person you're attacking.
Education / Re: "English That Only Makes Sense In Nigeria" Trends On Twitter, Ah Naija Self by elpigrafa: 4:33pm On Mar 28, 2018
Q: The internet fast?
A: E fast small

Q: Please where the barbershop
A (pointing): You see that upstairs there....

4 Likes

Romance / Re: Mom Cries Out After She Found Her Body Photoshopped In Another Lady's Face by elpigrafa: 9:29am On Mar 28, 2018
All I can say is...

Good job if it's really a photoshoped pic!

1 Like

Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 12:46am On Mar 28, 2018
Lemme pause here tongue tongue

Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 12:45am On Mar 28, 2018
Not done yet wink wink

Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 12:28am On Mar 28, 2018
AutoReportNG:


Hello bro, you have a mail!

Replied bro!
Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 12:28am On Mar 28, 2018
bjhaid:
while the island only?

Lol, almost all those pictures were taken on the mainland
Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 12:28am On Mar 28, 2018
DateMynd44:
wow first pics. That long bridge is In Lagos or its just photoshoped

Lol, it's in Lagos. That's Third Mainland bridge
Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 10:24pm On Mar 27, 2018
Some more...

2 Likes 1 Share

Travel / Re: Profiling The Beauty Of Lagos: The Sights And The Sounds by elpigrafa: 10:21pm On Mar 27, 2018
Lemme add a few shots of mine....

4 Likes

Romance / Re: Sex Video Of Lagos Lesbians Leaked By Boyfriend. Nigerians React by elpigrafa: 1:12pm On Mar 20, 2018
Joelsblog:
Two yet to be Indentified Nigerian Lagos based Lesbians have gone viral after a video of them manhandling each other's brea$t emerged the Internet, so shocked are we that we had to share the video, its meant for private consumption but it seems the girls boyfriend dont want it a secret any more.

JoelsBlog learned that one of the girls boyfriend leaked the video when he found out his girlfriend was chopping an artificial cane from her fellow woman, something he wouldn't reckon with, he was forced to leak the video without her knowledge.


We cant post such on our website, we don't intend to sexualise our readers but pass an Information...


https://joelsblog.com.ng/nigerian-lesbians-go-viral-after-leaked-sx-video-hits-the-internet/


So.....


What are we supposed to do with this your "information"?
Literature / Pissing Off The Ancestors by elpigrafa: 9:22pm On Mar 11, 2018
1 – In The Hidden Hall

The dry leaves crunched loudly underfoot as I covered the distance between the main building and the hidden hall. Nde’nche the Younger, the chief priest and custodian of our people’s customs and history, stood at the entrance to the Hidden Hall, watching me approach. I always wondered why he was called Nde’Nche the Younger, considering there was no Nde’Nche the Elder. There had never been one. Also, the man was seventy five years old and I wondered what or who he was younger than. But like everything else in our traditional system, experience told me it was better not to ask, else I would risk a five-hour long lecture from any of the ancient ones who seemed all to eager to reel off names, places and dates to any one who was daft enough to ask silly questions.

It also struck me that for a building known as the Hidden Hall, it was quite……obvious to passers-by and was only shorter than the main building by a few inches. It was also painted in bright colors, and kept looking as bright as ever with a fresh coat of paint every two months, a task undertaken by a special group whose only function was to keep the Hidden Hall looking as brightly painted as ever with the rather imaginative name, “Hidden Hall Painters Guild”.

There was also the huge signpost right in front of the hall that read “The Hidden Hall”, spanning almost the height of the building itself. You know, in case someone didn’t know what the hall was.

Of course, I had also wanted to ask why a building that was so patently obvious was called a hidden hall but my experience from asking why the small mound at the town square was called “The Mountain Of Heights” kept my lips sealed.

“Nde’Nche, yaa wo”, I greeted as I got to the entrance to the hidden hall and stood before the elderly man who regarded me with a judgmental look.

“You’re late”. He said gruffly. “May you not be late when it’s time for the ancestors to call you”. He turned around to face the entrance door. “Well, it’s not like the ancestors have a clock that keeps the time. Let’s get this done already”.

He pushed open the wooden doors and they creaked loudly as they turned on their hinges. The doors were another marvel I would have liked to ask about if I had a few hours to spare. They looked as old as man. Nde’Nche had once mentioned something about the door having been carved from the first tree chopped down by Great Ande Dio, our first ancestor when he arrived here from…..wherever it was he came from (I always tend to space out once these lectures start). He followed that remark however with a straight-faced mutter about how it looked remarkably like one of the carved doors that were imported from the neighboring town when he was a child and how the door looked remarkably new the first time he saw it up close.

“This is the hall of our fathers. Be careful and don’t touch anything or you might anger the ancestors”, Nde’Nche warned as he stepped through the doorway into the hall. “Goodness knows they are always looking for any reason to get angry at something”, he added under his breath.

For such a large looking building from outside, the Hidden Hall looked really small inside. From the doorway to the opposite wall ran an aisle, wide enough for two slim men or one really fat man to walk through. Virtually every space was taken up with some artifact or the other, every surface covered in paintings and murals. It was impressive taking it all in from where I stood from. It was truly breathtaking.

Or it was that smell of old wood and mustiness that was taking my breath away.

“Stop!” Nde’Nche commanded as I made to step into the hall. “You must cover both eyes when you take your first three steps in this hall. I don’t know why but it apparently pisses the ancestors off if you don’t. Just know they won’t catch you if you hit your foot against something and trip yourself and fall face-down while your eyes are covered. I learnt that first hand and they probably found it funny”.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then covered both eyes with my palms. And took my first step into the Hidden Hall.

https://elpigrafa./2018/03/11/pissing-off-the-ancestors-a-short-story-series-1/
Literature / The Militarized by elpigrafa: 5:02pm On Mar 10, 2018
1 - The Fear Factor

The chairman looked up, certain he had heard something. Everything was still all around him, however, the only discernible motion being the second hand of the large wall clock as it ticked the seconds away. Since he had moved into the office, he hadn’t ever paid it any particular attention, in spite of the fact that it was right opposite his large desk and, unlike most wall clocks, took up nearly all the space on the left of the wall beside the door. Now, he watched the hands move, the second hand easily outpacing the other two. Yet, somehow, his heightening dread outpaced all three.
He glanced at the large casement windows on the left of the room overlooking the grounds. Asides the lamps that illuminated the walkway from the gate to the building, it was completely pitch-black outside and as still outside as it was inside. For a second, he thought he saw something move in the shadows, somewhere close to the third lamp on the walkway but concluded his mind was playing tricks as he could spot no movement after a few seconds.

He needed a drink.

The drinks cabinet in his home office was practically right beside the door on the other side from the wall spanning clock. It used to be beside his desk until his doctor had told him in firm tones that if he kept up his incessant drinking, he would die in his chair one day. Of course, he had no plans of giving up drinking so instead of getting rid of the cabinet, he had it moved to the other end of the large office. At least, sometimes, his laziness would keep him from taking more than the glass he poured himself whenever he stepped into the room.

He slowly stood up from his chair, his knees complaining loudly at having been so still for the better part of three hours. The shot glass was on his desk, empty. He couldn’t even remember when he had drained its contents. Must have been when he settled into his seat at the stroke of midnight. He now regretted not taking the bottle with him when he had poured himself a drink. At least it would have saved him the trouble of having to walk all the way across the large office to the drinks cabinet.

He picked up the shot glass, shuffled out from behind the desk and took a step forward, his ears primed for any signs of movement. Complete silence responded.

He took a second step, his bare foot sinking noiselessly into the thick carpet that covered the office floor. He thought he heard a slight shuffle right behind him and froze. Then realized it was just his other foot brushing against the carpet as he took the third step.

A flash of lightning.

This time he was sure he saw something move outside, right at the edge of his peripheral vision. He dropped on all fours, crawled to window and peered outside, taking care to make sure as little of his head would be visible to any eyes watching the window.  The shot glass lay abandoned somewhere on the carpet – not that he cared at this point. He quickly scanned the visible area of the grounds. It was just as still as he had last seen it, the lamps casting dim lights over the stone walkway. He usually found those lights comforting. Now they disconcerted him and his wished they would all go off.

A minute passed with him crouched before the window, looking for any signs of movement. There was nothing – which bothered him more than providing relief.

His gun.

 He glanced back at the desk where he usually had a pistol stashed in the bottom drawer then cast a look at the door. Was it his eyes or was it inching open?

He turned to crawl towards the desk then suddenly stopped short. The gun wouldn’t be there. He had taken it to his room three hours ago and had left it lying on the dresser beside his bed. He grit his teeth and crawled back to the window.

Now it was unmistakable. There was a shadow being cast on the grounds that hadn’t been there previously. He couldn’t see what was casting the shadow but it was there alright. His heart froze. Should he try to make a quick break back for his room to grab his gun or lock himself in and call for help?

He dropped to the ground completely and slithered to the door. Thankfully, the key was on this side of the lock. He raised himself a little and turned the key twice, locking the thick door.  He crawled to the drinks cabinet and lay on the ground in front of it.

A light suddenly went on at the opposite end of the room.

A crash of glass somewhere downstairs.

An insistent vibration.

A chill descended his spine and froze his thoughts momentarily.

After a few seconds, the source of the light and the vibration suddenly dawned on him.

His phone on the desk.

He quickly crawled back to the desk and, from his crouching position, felt for the phone, knocking down something he couldn’t readily identify in the process. A cursory glance at the caller ID brought him a moment of relief and he picked the call.

“Thank goodness you called. It’s my son.”

“I think he’s here to kill me.”

https://elpigrafa./2018/03/10/the-militarized-the-fear-factor/
Politics / Re: Muhammed Kazaure Gudaji: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Given Too Much Power by elpigrafa: 3:41pm On Mar 10, 2018
kushme:
Why give power to women in the first? Can't they get it by themselves? Basically , women are only respected because of the presence of other men..reasons why you see and hear women shouting rape and domestic violence in public spaces just for the captain-sav-a-hoe to come save them with the expectation of tasting the pucci someday.

Many women ain't shi.t... Example, you here boys or men saying touch or insult my mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend and i will kill you. Naturally, a man shouldn't see a female as his match.. EVEN MAN PASS MAN.

But thirsty men are the problem when it comes to giving women power..

Many men ain't shi.t either, so what's your point?
Politics / Re: Muhammed Kazaure Gudaji: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Given Too Much Power by elpigrafa: 3:40pm On Mar 10, 2018
CAPSLOCKED:





WOMEN HAVE BEEN GIVEN DIFFERENT OPPORTUNITIES THROUGH OUT HISTORY.

SINCE THE INTRODUCTION OF "FEMINISM" A FEW DECADES AGO, TO THE REMOVAL OF SEVERAL BANS ON WOMEN, WHAT HAVE THEY ACHIEVED, ASIDE MORE INSTAGRAM LIKES AND TWITTER FOLLOWERS?


THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN IN SEVERAL LIFE FIELDS, THE SAME PEOPLE CLAMOURING FOR THESE CHANCES ABANDON WHAT THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR WHEN IT FINALLY CAME THROUGH, BECAUSE AFTER ALL, "IT'S A MAN'S THING".

I'M NOT ON THIS THREAD TO JOIN THE BATTLE BETWEEN GENDERS,

I'M ONLY HERE TO TELL YOU THAT EVEN THE MOST SIMPLE THINGS, LIKE EXPOSING THIS MAN'S STUPIDITY LIKE YOU SAID, WILL BE TOO DIFFICULT FOR WOMEN IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY.

HAVE A NICE DAY. smiley

I hope you're kidding about Instagram likes being all that women have achieved in history.

Let's take Marie Curie for example:

The first person the win two Nobel prizes and the only person to win Nobel prizes in different sciences. Incidentally, her husband, Pierre was also a scientist, yet she won more recognition and contributed more to science than him. Not too shaby for being one of the "Instagram likes" sex, eh? Her work on radioactivity greatly improved our understanding of the phenomenon and she virtually gave her life for science as her constant exposure to radioactive materials ended up claiming her life. If her husband had been a Nigerian, she would probably have spent all her life at home cooking, cleaning and mending his trousers while leaving mankind to take longer to understand radioactivity.

That's just one in the myriads of women whose actions have influenced the way the world works currently.

But yh, keep telling yourself that women aren't smart enough to navigate a narrow street without you.

1 Like

Politics / Re: Muhammed Kazaure Gudaji: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Given Too Much Power by elpigrafa: 3:31pm On Mar 10, 2018
CAPSLOCKED:



BABE.. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, NO MATTER HOW BITTER AND ANGRY YOU MAKE YOURSELF,

THE TRUTH IS, AS THIS COUNTRY IS RIGHT NOW WITH ALL THIS CALAMITY AND PRESSURE, NO NIGERIAN WOMAN CAN RULE IT.

SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT.



Because......
Politics / Re: Muhammed Kazaure Gudaji: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Given Too Much Power by elpigrafa: 3:31pm On Mar 10, 2018
From his speech, you would think the male politicians that have led Nigeria basically since the creation of this country have made Nigeria a paradise on earth.

Besides, if the women are more intelligent......shouldn't they be in power?

3 Likes

Politics / Re: Muhammed Kazaure Gudaji: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Given Too Much Power by elpigrafa: 3:11pm On Mar 10, 2018
It sounded like he was joking.

I know he was not.

1 Like

Science/Technology / When Tech Disappoints by elpigrafa: 3:05am On Mar 10, 2018
How does it feel when an app or software you trust totally disappoints?

So I had written a short story earlier today – took me roughly two hours to write, by the way. Edited, published, shared. I had just thought to do a bit of housecleaning on my new blog (get rid of the default post that shows up on WordPress blogs) on the mobile app (WordPress mobile app). So there I was, modifying my profile, deleting the default post and all when I suddenly realized – the short story I had just published was gone.

My heart skipped several beats. This was not happening.

Usually, I first type my stories on Microsoft Word before copying to WordPress (this is not my first WordPress blog, in case you were wondering) but I’ve used WP (I’ll be using that to mean WordPress from now, can’t be typing all that abeg) for a fair bit and I’ve gotten rather comfortable with posting directly from the blog back-end or the mobile app. Why it had to be today of all blessed days that the WP app would decide to delete a story I had no backups of is completely beyond me. The story just disappeared. Poof! Like it never existed. It’s not in the bin (where deleted posts are for thirty days or till you delete them from there too), it’s not anywhere. So basically, I spent two hours giving the WP app something to delete without my permission.

I am still shook because I think I have come to rely a lot on technology and I’ve come to see it as sort-of, well, inerrant. So I guess this is a bit of a back-to-earth reminder to:

1) Always have several backups – especially for writers. One app might go crazy one day and delete all your everything. Yes, including your stash of carefully curated 70 gigabyte porn.

2) Remember that technology isn’t perfect. I mean, I’m pretty sure the developers of the WP app did not intend for it to randomly delete people apps. Except, of course, if one day, the app blogs all the nudes on your phone to your followers, then that is totally intentional.

3) Refer to number 1)

4) I’m too tired and a bit too pissed to think of a number four. I’m going to sleep. If the guys at WordPress know how to restore my post, they should please do so let it not be like I could have better spent those two hours watching NTA.

https://elpigrafa./2018/03/10/when-tech-disappoints/
Religion / Re: RCCG's New Church Auditorium In Abeokuta (Photos) by elpigrafa: 12:55am On Mar 10, 2018
1) I would like to point out that the money that was used to build this really good looking edifice could have gone towards building a modest structure AND provide some amenities for the community it is in

2) I would also like to point out that what the church does with its money is its business so long as the money was not obtained under any false pretenses
Foreign Affairs / Re: Lady Covers Her Nude Body With Paint To Mark Ghana's 61st Independence by elpigrafa: 5:42pm On Mar 07, 2018
I try to not be superficial but....


Ghana should be offended angry

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