₦airaland Forum

Marriages are meant to last forever. It is a life-long commitment to your spouse. The beginning stages of marriage could be very beautiful and not very challenging. Children set in, bills go up and it goes on and on.

Do you ever feel like your marriage is shaky? Maybe you look at your partner sometimes and cannot believe you got married to them in the first place.

Do you think the physical or emotional attraction has faded away? You wonder if you even want to fix the broken parts of the marriage at all.



There is no perfect marriage and a lot of the time we are quick to give up and stop fighting to make things right.

We find it really hard to admit our lack of knowledge and patience concerning marriage. In order to hide this “shame”, we move on quickly, leaving behind all that we hold dear.

Acknowledge the issue
A lot of couples consciously avoid this because of pride or insecurity. It is time to sit with your spouse and talk about the problem. Is the passion fading?

Do you have pointless arguments frequently? Whatever it is, be open to accept that there is a problem and the marriage needs fixing.



Spend time together
Spending quality time with your spouse is necessary. A lot of marriages have issues simply because couples fail to spend quality time together.

Work schedules and domestic obligations could make this a quite difficult. Go out on dates together, at least once or twice a month (without the kids of course!) and reconnect. Intimate picnics and quiet nights out will help put your marriage back on track.

Remember your vows
All marriages have rocky patches but you need to stick it out. “For better or worse” is not just a phrase, it is a reality that you must face.

Understanding that every marriage has to weather the storms at one point or another will keep you motivated to make it through the bad times.



Your marriage is your priority
Yes, I agree that your job pays the bills but your job won’t keep you warm at night, neither will it be a shoulder for you to cry on. Invest in your relationship with your spouse.

Skip the unnecessary work hours and work functions. Or better still; take your spouse along with you on special work occasions.

If you are volunteering for some charity work, carry your partner along.

Find out their interests in doing charity work and encourage them to join you. Consolidate your marriage by doing meaningful things together.

4 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK

Are you fighting again with the person you love? Are you worried that your relationship is on the rocks, or that you or your partner might not be as invested as before? Read on if you want some advice on how to make your relationship running smoothly again.

1.DECIDE TO LOVE. Infatuation is typically what sparks loving relationships. Then the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to renew their feelings for one another.
Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners.
On the other hand, not expressing love sometimes hurts the bond you share with your partner.
If you are aiming for a long-lasting, successful relationship, you need to commit to your partner's emotional well-being, even when it isn't easy. This means sharing affection with your partner, through good times and bad, when it's most needed and when it's least expected.

2.
BE ROMANTIC. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the stars, sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubble baths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Inject a little romance into some of the things you do and some of the places you go.
Have a certain song, a certain movie, a certain phrase that's "yours," that you only share with your partner. This will not only signal togetherness with your partner, but it will also establish intimacy.
Do the unexpected. By all means, plan out your dates. But on certain occasions, surprise your partner. Surprises take a little foresight. They show your loved one you really care.

3.SHOW YOUR LOVE. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.
Look your partner in the eyes. When you talk to them and when you're simply together, make a connection to their soul through their eyes.
Don't be afraid to show affection in public. Hold her hand; kiss him on the cheek; don't worry what other people think so long as you know your loved on feels your gratefulness.
Brag a little every once in a while. Don't make it into a big deal, but praise your partner's achievements and let other people know how much you know s/he accomplishes.

SETTLE DISPUTES PEACEFULLY. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.
Don't generalize when you argue. Words like "always" and "constantly" can make your partner feel like they never do anything right. Talk about specific instances, and try not blow things out of proportion.
Talk about the good with the bad. Start off by saying how much you love the person, and how committed you are to making the relationship work. Then go into your complaint, if you have one. It will make your partner less defensive.