Dear Future Warriors,

How are you?
You must be wondering why you are born into a life of pain, of crisis, of complications, you must have asked why. I will like you to know that you are strong enough to withstand it. Blame not God, but ask your parents why.
Some of us have been into it before you. We did our best to eradicate it so that you won't have to go through what we are going through, but your parents (or fate) decided otherwise. Some were blinded by love, some enshackled by faith, some failed by laboratory results. Some claimed ignorance. But in all of these, know that you will survive, just like some of us are. I want to tell you not to focus on the why, because that's no longer important, the deed has been done, but focus on the purpose why you are here, there is a greater reason for that. You must ensure to discover your purpose and live by it. Don't stop fighting because that's what you're born to do. In fighting, some won and live with it, some lose and become heroes. I hope you win, but in case if it turns out the other way, I hope you find rest. I hope you become a star to shine over the other warriors still fighting. I hope you become an angel to guide over them. And I hope you become a martyr.
While you are alive, live, love, laugh and persevere. Make a difference, make impact and set a pace and a path for others. Find a reason and a purpose to life.
You have got sickled cells flowing in your veins, sickle cell doesn't have you. Don't allow sickle cell to cage you in its cell. You are more than a conqueror. Explore your body when you are healthy and manage it when you are not.
You have a strong spirit in a not so strong body, but you need that body to do your exploits, hence pay attention to it, manage it well and take good care of it.
I hope the sickle cycle ends in your generation. I hope science find a cure to it, a *safe* cure that could be *available* and *affordable* to all.
But if not, don't be sad, don't be mad. Enlighten the world, educate them and create awareness. Do your part.
Be the light through which other warriors can see through.

Stay safe warrior. Don't forget you are a survivor, you will sure survive all that life throws at you. Don't you ever give up. I love you.

From a co-warrior,

© FAM

*IGNORANCE IN HIGH PLACES*
How can one be so knowledgeable and still be so naive?
How can one be so educated and still be so ignorant?
How can one be so full of wisdom and still be dumb?

The table is one too big for me to shake, because some of those on it are professionals in their field, but I just have to shake it and even break it so that they might get down and let's destroy the table together.

The table is about the myths with sickle cell. As a person, I have listened and heard so many myths from different people of different calibre from different directions that I don't even know how to tackle it or where to start from. It's pardonable when some of these myths are coming from the lower class of the society, those called illiterate, but when it's coming from the society high class, from the University community, then it becomes highly offensive. From the university undergraduate student, to the administrative/non-academic staff, to even the big lecturers with the PhD in their portfolios, the level of ignorance is sickening. But then it's still pardonable when you don't know but willing to know, we can't all know it all, but it becomes a capital offense when you pride yourself in your ignorance and rub it on others.

I have had different encounters with these people that made it seems we can't break the sickle cycle any time soon. That's because with no right information in circulation, we will only be moving in a circle with no way out.
From the undergraduate whose only knowledge about SCD was that it's the rich that gives birth to them, to a roommate that felt all she needed to know on genotyping was that she's prone to malaria, hence she's AA and good to go, (isn't that still funny in this age), to that lecturer with a PhD in science oriented course (white house) who used derogatory words for a friend, saying it's a pity she's brilliant but people like her don't go to school because they won't cope and it's a waste of parents' funds, making reference to death et al, or should I mention the one who thought once a warrior crosses a certain age (early twenties), then it's all smooth and fine, implying we could wait till then before taking up strenous activities like coming to the university.

In between all the different scenarios I have experienced or heard of, let me just share one or two in details.

One happened on one of my occasional admission at the university health center, a random conversation about having sickle cell offsprings came up, and we have our oversabi woman (an 'educated' administrative staff) who thought and communicated it out that sickle cell offspring can only occur in the fourth pregnancy. The problem isn't in her thoughts, but the level of confidence she used to communicate it. She went to the extent of telling us that if it happened before the fourth child, the woman must have had some abortions/miscarriages in the past. (I fainted and woke up) That was like one of the most unhilarious myth I have had to listen to. Her argument was top notch that nothing anyone else said was able to convince her. Even giving her real life scenarios couldn't as she believed you don't know what those women (mothers of warriors) had done in the past. Quite unbelievable right? Imagine such woman having a sister in law or daughter in law who have a warrior as a first or second child. Obviously she had gotten the simple Genetic cross matching taught in biology twisted. She failed to realize that the cross matching is the occurrence in every pregnancy and doesn't follow such pattern.
I couldn't even partake in the conversation that day because I couldn't afford to waste my 1ml of opioid which was to relieve me from my pain in a fruitless argument with her. Her voice was at its peak and highly confidence in ignorance.

Funny how these are the same set of people the less educated in the community will reach out to when they need information on issues like this, hoping to get the right information from them. How unfortunate! Some of these people are one of the most educated in their lineage/family and issues as these would be refer to them and they would most likely have the final say. How then can we stop stigmatization, discrimination and even break the sickle cycle when they themselves don't know, and they do not know that they don't know.

It's not a crime not to know, but it's advisable to just keep quiet and learn instead of priding in ignorance and confusing the populace.

*©FAM*

*MY FEAR AS A WARRIOR*

'As a sickle cell patient, are you not afraid of death?' That was the question someone asked me about five years ago. My response: What is the assurance that you won't die before tomorrow?Anyone can die, AA, AS AC, SC, SS etc. Why should I be afraid of death? That was my response then. If I was to be asked that same question now, my response will still be the same, maybe in a more polite way. Everyone will die, when, where and how we don't know. Someone with AA could fall on a staircase and died, same way I could. He could survive and just rest and use self- medication, not knowing there is a major fracture. He keeps treating the pain until it becomes worst, thereby leading to his death. I could have the same fall, and decide to go to the clinic to prevent a major crisis, I got treated and I'm fine, I survived OR I could go to my room to rest, use some medications, observed for some hours, go to the clinic, get treated, I survived. OR The fall leads to crisis, force me to see a physician, the crisis and its cause (the fracture) get treated, I stayed in the hospital for a while. I got better, I survived. Health is a priority in every human, and in sickle cell patients, it is a major priority. Our body has been designed in a way that it doesn't allow us to take our health for granted. Any malfunction, it cries out quickly. The necessary treatment is given. For me, death is a constant irrespective of your financial status, health status, etc. There is no disease that is a death sentence, so far it's being manage well, not HIV, not diabetes, not cancer, not sickle cell.
Note: Never die a useless death. A useless death is a death that can be prevented. Take the necessary precautions. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Everyone is unique in their own way. Never compare yourself to others.

My fear isn't death, my fear is not living.
*SOMETIMES DEATH IS BLISS.*

Initially written on 28/02/2017

#FLASHBACKFRIDAY

*© FAM*

*MY MIRACLE*
I know you are expecting a miracle
In what form are you expecting your miracle
I been alive today is a miracle
You been alive is a miracle
Whether in crisis or not, it is not gonna be forever

My miracle could be in any form
It doesn't have to be in a particular form
SS to AA, SC to AC, SS to AS etc.
That's stereotype
All are letters

And we could be hoping and praying...
The letter changes
From one crusade to another
From one mountain to another
Some fraudster will still deceive us
Because they know we are desperate for our miracle

Some call us 'ogbanje', 'abiku' etc
But they are ignorant
Our miracles will come

It could happen
But we don't have to look forward to it
God is a miracle worker
The miracle comes in His own way and time, not ours

Let's appreciate the 'little' miracles in our life
You not been in a mortuary
You only visit the hospital
You not having crisis for a while
All are miracles

You having mild mild crisis
You not having a severe crisis in 'six' month
When crisis comes, you coming out of it alive
All are miracles

Everyone has a challenge
You manage yours, I manage mine
My miracle doesn't have to come big

I appreciate the 'little' miracles in my life
Although no little miracle
Every miracle is big It depends on how we look at it
I appreciate my creator for my life
What of you?

Dedicated to all sickle cell patients...

http://www.dnbstories.com/2015/09/dedication-my-miracle.html?m=1

This was written by me in 2015. One of the FAQ I have had to answer whenever I mentioned that sickle cell has no cure aside surgery (stem cell transplant or genetic therapy) is that don't I believe in 'miracles', most times I just laugh or lighten the mood leaving the question unanswered, not because I don't have a response but because religion/spirituality is one of the most controversial topics to dwell on. It would only lead to questioning each other's faith and even the aim of the engagement would be lost at the end of the day. To answer the question, it depends on the kind of miracle you are looking for. I am a walking miracle on my own, so I need not be desperate in pursuing one.
A lot of people have been scammed financially, sexually, materially and through any other means, all in the name of miracle, and so far there are people hungry for 'miracles', the scamming/defrauding will continue. Some get the expected miracle which lasted for a while, only to pay a higher cost, more than they bargained, for it. Some never get it and still pay with what they cherished. Whichever miracle you are looking for, define it and only seek it with God. He hears us all, and need no intervener to communicate with Him.
The best form of miracles to me, are the ones we least expected or worked for. Be guided on the source of your miracles.

*©FAM*

OAUTemitayo:
I tell you. Imagine saying my family cannot visit and sleep at my place if we marry. It was a red flag.. And I really love her, but one need to use his sense

Interesting

*SCD COMPLICATIONS NOT SPIRITUAL ATTACKS*
The awareness about sickle cell diseases is so low that the damages caused as a result of misinformation, ignorance, myths on SCD are far more than those caused by sickle cell itself. A lot of people have little, no or wrong idea about it. Even warriors rarely have ideas about what they are battling with. Relatives/guardians have little knowledge about what they are into. What some can associate with it is the pain. A lot of people don't know that sickle cell goes beyond the frequent pain (Vaso-occlusive crisis) that comes with it, which is just one of the many complications of sickle cell. When some of the other complications show up, they aren't linked, accepted or associated with SCD. They are attributed to other things and solutions are seek where there are none.
Most sickle cell complications come like a thief in the night, they give little or no prior notice. They don't write to or inform the warriors or their relatives before they visit and sometimes the effects of their visitation could be a long lasting one. I know we are Africans, and a lot of us believe in the spirit realm and that spiritual controls the physical, but then sickle cell complications are just what they are, they are complications arising from the malfunction of the blood, they aren't spiritual attacks.
Sickle cell complications might be difficult to comprehend and explain, especially to those who aren't medically inclined especially the sudden occurrence and long lasting effects of some of them, but that doesn't make them spiritual.
It's important as warriors and their relatives to accept who we are and accept what sickle cell is all about, so as not to be defraud in the name of looking for a solution where it doesn't exist.
It is also important to have a competent doctor, an Haematologist who can be a guide in our life journey to help in the management, diagnosis and treatment of the complications as well as counseling.
It's also important to seek knowledge not just surface knowledge about SCD but about the complications especially if/when diagnosed with any (Google always have something to say) so as to know how to manage them and follow strictly doctor's advice.

There may be herbal cure to the complications but we should at least know what we are treating or managing so that we know when that trusted specialist or herbalist is saying thrash.

I'm a warrior not an ogbaje.
I battle Sickle cell Complications not spiritual attacks.
I belong to no occultic group to be appeal to for me to live.

*© FAM*

*THE ERRORS IN OUR LAB*
In as much as my genotype was known as far back as when I was 18months, a reaffirmation still had to be requested at different times by medical practitioners. This is not because it's expected that the genotype would have changed, but because sickle cell wasn't mild on me in reality as it's stated theoretically in books. My genotype is SC, but at some point some doctors felt some complications I experienced would have been easier to explain if I was SS. They needed a result to state that I was SS.
On one of these confirmatory testing, I was presented with a result that stated AS, I should have been happy right? A miracle must have happened�. If I was desperate for such miracle, I should have just accepted such and the next thing would be to go for a Thanksgiving service. Then when the next time crisis comes knocking, I would be told it's because I had lost my faith, that's why the genotype switched back.�
I'm a product of a laboratory error, as my mum was told she was AA not until she had a child with sickle cell (which was me) did they realized she's AS, so it would really be dumb of me to accept just any result in whatever name.

A lot of mistakes occurs in our laboratories frequently. Some due to the process while others are due to human error. A quite number of people have been given incorrect result at one point or another, especially when it comes to genotype. Quite a number of warrior's parents have this story to tell of how they were given a fake result. Who is to blame for this? How do we eradicate sickle cell when we can't even get a genuine result from our laboratories? What are the causes of the errors?How can the errors be minimized? These are some of the questions begging for answers.

A genotyping error occurs when the observed genotype of an individual does not correspond to the true genotype. Genotyping errors result from diverse, complex and sometimes cryptic origins. Errors have various causes, but their occurrence and effect can be limited by considering these causes in the production and analysis of the data.
The errors in laboratory results can be as a result of the human factor and/or the process/procedure involved in the analysis of the sample. Human error varies from sample manipulation - swapping of samples, experimental error - inappropriate protocols, contamination or cross-contamination of samples, error in data handling and analysis - misreading or miscopying of data profile, improper labelling, swapping of result etc.
The process or procedural error could be from the reagents used, the equipment, the method of analysis, sample quality etc.
There are different methods of carrying out genotype testing and each of these tests has their degree of error. Some can be as simple as identification of the Haemoglobin in the blood, or identification and determination of frequency of sickle Haemoglobin if present, or determination of the rate of migration of the haemoglobin to determine the individual Haemoglobin. The result obtained also depends on the control.

There is no consensus strategy or strict standard for limiting or quantifying the occurrence of the main types of error. All of these errors can be negligible but their consequences aren't.

Some of the consequences include:
Individuals identity can be affected.
Genotyping errors have an effect on parentage analysis, as they can generate incorrect paternity or maternity exclusion, which is important because inaccurate estimates that are caused by genotyping errors can result in incorrect decisions being made in population management. This is a major issue in genotype compatibility, a major way of preventing SCD.
The diversity of case studies, causes of error and laboratory contexts makes it impossible to propose a universal and simple procedure; the possible solutions for limiting the occurrence and effect of genotyping errors are therefore case -specific.

With all of these, it is important to know as individuals that a single genotype testing isn't enough to ascertain our genotype. The burden lies on us to go for a genotype testing as many times as possible (personally I recommend at least 3 times) as even the most competent personnels and standard facilities aren't spared from some of these errors.

You will bear the burnt of the consequences, why not go extra miles to prevent that.

*© FAM*

OkoAnike:



Everytime I read through your post, I get excited that I have the opportunity to meet your personality on this platform... So many things I 've learnt and so many discovered, thanks for being a great person. Just to let you know I now have survival noticification on my facebook account, courtesy of you, once again thank you and God bless.

Amen. You are welcome sir. Thanks for following. It's great to know someone like you is patiently reading through. God bless you sir

They said she's a bitch
Some call her bastard
Some felt it's a he and a beast
People who have met him know how wicked he could be.
He shows no mercy
He comes knocking when least expected
She doesn't wait to be invited
She comes with pain
She destabilizes plans
He ruins your schedule
People who know her wish they never did.
People who don't think she's overemphasized
Some still love and want her
They call upon her and welcome her with open arms
When they meet her, they regret and realize their mistakes
But it's too late
She doesn't come alone
She comes with crisis and complications
She makes hospital their home
She makes drugs food
And makes foods drug
She makes the weak strong
And makes the strong weak
Another child has been put in agony
She makes veins run and disappear
And gives marks via cannula line
She's a product of two carriers
One claiming love
The other shouting faith
How can you be this careless
How can you claim to be ignorant
What's your excuse?
Some call her disease
Some said he is a disorder
Whatever you call her
The features are there
She's a respecter of no one
It's SCD


*© FAM*

*Raising Funds for treatment*
When you see those broadcast soliciting for funds for someone battling with disease(s), what comes to your mind? What do you hope for when helping with funds? What kind of treatment do you hope they get?
In cases where after the fund is raised, the soul is still lost, how do you react? Do you think it's a waste of resources?
Some just require a little comfort while alive, not to live forever.
The aim of therapy/treatment doesn't only involve prolonging lifespan, the main aim is to improve quality of life. This may include cure of a disease, elimination or reduction of a patient’s symptoms, arresting or slowing of a disease process, or preventing other disease complications or symptom.
Hence, even if the live is later lost, it's enough that they got treatment while alive. It's enough that the disease didn't aggravate. It's enough that the symptom was made a bit bearable.
Death is a constant, for every soul shall have a taste of it, and hence shouldn't be a measure of the state of health and life.

*©FAM*

*MY SEQUESTRATION EXPERIENCE* (CONTINUATION)
Splenic sequestration is a potentially life-threatening condition that’s most commonly seen as a complication of sickle cell disease (SCD). It affects about 30% of children who have SCD, but you can get it at any age, with any form of SCD. Symptoms include any or all of the following: tiredness, pain in the left side of the stomach (where the spleen is located), pale skin, drowsiness, weakness, excessive thirst, irritation, enlarged spleen etc.
Splenic sequestration occurs when the spleen (the organ responsible for recycling old red blood cells and fighting infections) is enlarged and ingest both old and new red blood cells, due to blockage of blood flow through the spleen, resulting in anaemia as there's less red blood cells to circulate to the body. It happens when a lot of sickled red blood cells become trapped in the spleen. The spleen can enlarge, get damaged, and not work as it should.

In my own case, I only experienced tiredness and weakness and didn't really take note of the enlarged spleen as I have always had a big stomach due to my enlarged spleen and liver.

Splenic sequestration can be treated by blood transfusion/exchange transfusion as well as splenectomy (removal of the spleen).

For me, after taking few pints of blood with some other treatments, I was deemed fit but was advised to undergo splenectomy to prevent further occurrence as the spleen had become so enlarged. This was a turning point for me, as I used to hate my big stomach which was due to the enlarged spleen and liver, and before then, would want to do something about it to have a flat tommy like every other girl.

I have experienced body shaming because of my stomach, being tagged pregnant and mocked. I remember a particular episode in my part 1, after missing tests and submitting medical report, I had to follow up on it after writing exams for every of the courses I missed their tests. On the fateful day, I met lecturers discussing after collating the scripts in the course coordinator's office, and after telling them why I was there, I was made jest of and asked if I was pregnant in the mocking way by one of them, the other two laughed. While I wouldn't forget this particular episode was because I couldn't give them the response they deserved which I would have loved to, because of the position they held. I just smiled, gave them another copy of the medical report and left.
I had hated my stomach as it also affected what I had to wear and how I looked.

But when I had the opportunity to change that and do away with the spleen, I chose otherwise. I realized how much that spleen had served me and is still doing. I realized how important it is to me. I realized how often I treated infections even with the spleen, so I couldn't afford to take it away as I would become more prone to infections since it wouldn't be there to fight them.

This was the point I started to appreciate my body especially my stomach, big or not. I know why it is how it is, and I love it that way. Nothing anyone says can change that. Let someone tell me I have a big stomach or refer to me as been pregnant, it's now a compliment to me. It's a special feature not everyone has, and pregnancy isn't a disease and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Same way a person with a flat tommy would blush when told such, it's the same way I would when I'm told about my body features. I know them already. It's really not about what they say, but how we view it.

I was later discharged since I didn't option for the splenectomy and was asked to come back if there was any complain.

To the glory of God, no other episode of sequestration has occurred after that, and I'm grateful for that single episode because it shaped my view and helped me to appreciate my body more. Whenever I look at my stomach now, all I see is a fighting organ in a fighting body. It's one crisis I wouldn't forget in a hurry as I could have been gone without even knowing it.


*©FAM*

*MY SEQUESTRATION EXPERIENCE*
I have always been someone whose body communicate with regularly. I used to think and feel I understand my body language, and that language is Pain. I can't remember for how long I have known that language but I know it's what I grew up to understand.
Pain is a way my body communicate with me that she needs attention, and she seeks for it. So I assumed when I'm not in pain, then nothing is really wrong and I'm fine. There are cases of no pain but weakness, but it doesn't really last for long, as it either go on its own after resting or elongate into a full blown crisis and the necessary attention has to be given. So I don't really make a big deal of body weakness as I just see it as a way my body tells me she needs rest.

In 2014/15 (not so sure), this body took a new turn when I experienced a life threatening weakness and tiredness which I couldn't attribute to anything. This started like just any weakness and I was just tired. I had to take a break from classes and rest in the hostel hoping I would be fine in few hours. I have been someone who love and respect this body a lot because I know I don't have any other one to serve me and we have to be together to attain my dreams and goals. So whenever she's communicating, I tried to listen and obey. I really don't care about what others say, call me lazy or whatever, it has turned to a compliment for me, because they don't understand what my body is saying and I won't endanger this body to prove a point. I really have no need for such nor do I have a point to prove.

Let's not digress, I was expecting to recover but the weakness and tiredness persisted and was lasting for about 48hours with no crisis in view. Then my spirit started communicating to me to seek for help. I was skeptical about reporting at the health center as I didn't even know what my complaints would be. How would I face the doctor and tell him/her it's just tiredness that brought me to the hospital? I have never done that, most of my complaints has always been related to pains, something I can rate and relate to.
I had to force myself to go hoping the doctor would just alleviate my fear and would tell me it's nothing.

On getting to the health center and seeing the doctor, after physical examination, blood test was carried out and it was discovered that my PCV (blood level) had dropped. The doctor said it was low and she would have to refer me to the Teaching hospital, I was sad and angry and tried to explain to her that I was just tired and there was really nothing wrong with it as I had survived on lower PCV while in secondary school and I didn't die. She insisted they couldn't admit or treat me there. I was so angry at her and was almost regretting why I even reported myself. A nurse came around and consoled me telling me it was for the best that if there was really nothing wrong, I would be discharged in no time at THC but they couldn't take the risk. It was like they saw me dying and I wasn't aware.

I had no choice than to comply. I then called a friend who would follow me to THC and also informed my mum, who also appealed to me to go and she would join me there. The necessary arrangements were made and I was taken to THC.

On getting to THC, another investigations were conducted and it was discovered that the PCV has dropped again by 2%. Then I knew there was fire on the mountain, even though I wasn't scared. I was told there would be need for blood transfusion and some other procedures.

My mum later came around and she was told what was really wrong. My spleen which was supposed to be my fighting organ decided to misbehave and was fighting me. It was ingesting both my new and old red blood cells, hence there was less blood in my body and would keep dropping if nothing was done about it. What was happening was one of the complications with SCD and it has a name, it's called *Splenic Sequestration Crisis.*

....to be continued.

*©FAM*

*HOW TO UNLOVE, UNCRUSH AND UNDO THE FEELINGS*
_True love is not always about staying together, sometimes it's about letting go each other._

It's the month regarded as the month of love, and the greatest form of love is about sacrifice.
In many instances where I have posted on pre-marital testing on genotype compatibility, I have been challenged on how it's not easy to let go off loved ones and even questioned on my love life if I have ever experienced or fallen in love so deeply. I have always try to be patience in engaging people as my goal is to enlighten others not to judge them.
To those who are wondering if I have been in such situations, I will like to say I have experienced my own share of forbidden feelings, but I know better not to indulge in it and even cut it off as much as possible.
I don't know what love means to you, but my own definition of love involves a lot of sacrifices, sacrifices of time, resources and even the emotions if needed.
I have had feelings with a co-warrior, but how did I handle it? This person is someone I like on my first encounter with him, we bound and flow easily. He is someone who believed miracle has changed his genotype as he no longer has crisis and believe the same could happen to me, and there is no danger with us, but I know better.
I have been in situations where I had to cut people off and run because I know better than to allow those feelings to grow.

Back to the topic, there are two ways I will like to talk on, on how to unlove.
The first method is to *Love them so much that you see them as families* and not someone you could be in a romantic relationship with. This is like a form of zoning, but shouldn't be friend zoning as friends could grow to be lovers. Call it sibling zoning�. Be each other's brother/sister. This is what I had to do with the co-warrior. We still relate well and watch each other's back.

The other method is to break the relationship and stay away from each other. A lot of people may say this is difficult to do and would lead to heart break. I have an easier way to go about it. You don't have to cut down off in a day.
As there's no perfect human, all you have to do is to consciously look towards the bad side of them, that side of them you don't like but you were willing to overlook, concentrate and capitalize on them and keep seeing those faults. With time, the heart grows weary and you lose interest in the relationship. The heart break becomes easier to bear.
In all of these, it's easier to nurse a broken heart than nurse a child with Sickle cell.

I have had people say love should be enough to withstand anything, and that their love is strong enough. But in reality, I have seen families torn apart, acclaimed loved ones who are parents hating and blaming each other, some having to separate, some becoming less responsible, is your love really strong enough?

N.B.: This is just the opinion of the writer and all clarification should be directed to such, as it's a satiric way of dissecting an important topic.

*©FAM*

OkoAnike:



Op, it's obvious that you are love by so many and I'm one of them, stay strong to your promises and God almighty will bring it to fulfilment... Reading through your last dairy post makes me happy.

Waiting patiently to hear from you again... Like a mother waiting for an envelope from a far away son.

*Who is next?*

Don't miss me when I'm gone, miss me now and let me know.
Don't cry for me when I'm no more, let's cry and laugh together now.
Don't wait till when I won't see and acknowledge it before you tell me how much you love and cherish me.
No one knows who's next, but I can tell you mine isn't now.
I promise my mum to be a daughter to her, a source of joy, here to stay, and make her an awesome grandmum.
I promise to be an amazing mother to my wonderful kids, and it's a promise meant to be kept.
But if peradventure, fate has another plan and I grow my wings, tell it to the world, it only means I have lived my part.
And it's not SCD because every soul shall taste death.
There's no too young to leave nor a too old to stay.

Thanks so much sir. People like you encourage me. I love you too.

MY PICA EXPERIENCE*
I used to have a very strong craving for sand mixed with cement, the one specifically found in new site.

Before then, when I was much younger, in primary school, I used to cut chalk into smaller pieces into round circles, taking the shape of paracetamol, to keep and later chew. I used to think and wonder why it didn't work the wonders paracetamol and other drugs did, but even at that it didn't stop me from chewing it. I didn't know that habit of mine has a name. I later thought it was just my curious mind trying to experiment.�

I later grew out of that habit of mine and chalk no longer appeal to me.
Then I picked up a new craving. I really can't say when exactly this new habit started, if it was present when I was chewing chalks, or if it started much later. As far as I can remember, way back in primary school, I knew I do crave for cemented sand and I can easily perceive the smell of it from miles away. I just know how and where to find it (or maybe it actually use to find me) and get a bite of it. Its aroma and taste are more appealing than food itself and give a satisfactory feeling after a bite of it.
I knew it's not good but my craving wouldn't stop.
I later become conscious enough of my actions that I no longer swallowed it, I just chewed, split it out then rinse my mouth with water. I then licked the dusty leftover in my hand.

I think I was caught by people a number of times but that still didn't stop me from engaging in it another day. I can't remember if I was really punished for it.
I knew my mum was aware even if she didn't catch me red handed and I always had a lie to cover up even though they didn't make sense a lot of times. I always got my hand stained by falling. But on a number of occasions I was asked to open my mouth while in the act, I can't remember the excuses and lies I told.
I knew my siblings suspected, though I denied a lot of times and I knew they didn't believe me, I was reported a number of times, though I didn't know if they make much meanings to it.
I remember a family friend, who also had a daughter with sickle cell (the daughter is late now) discussing with my mum about her daughter's persistent habit of chewing clay. She wanted my mom's advice on it. She mentioned that she discussed it with their doctor and the doctor dismissed it off as just a normal child craving and also that clay is rich in calcium and the girl should be left alone that she would outgrow it. I didn't wait to listen to my mom's take on it, before I went to get a bite of it that day. That was all the encouragement and justification I needed. For my small mind, I was eating calcium. �

I later got to know this habit of mine has a name and it's not peculiar to me. It's called *PICA*.

Pica can be define as the persistent craving and chewing of substances that have no nutritional value, such as ice, clay, soil, paper, powder, form, chalk, styrofoam, starch, crayons, dirt, sponges, hair, or other non-nutritional items.
It is a common problem in persons with sickle cell disease. Over 50% of people living with SCD had experience pica at a point in time. It's said to be a symptom of anaemia, though there's no known cause for it.

Persons with sickle cell disease are known to have a higher rate of pica than the general population. The reasons for pica are not known, but some cases have been linked with iron deficiency, lower weight, lower hemoglobin, pregnancy, nutritional deficiencies, lead poisoning, behavioral problems, and a family history of pica.

Pica can be mild or severe depending on what is being ingested and the sources of the objects. Pica itself isn't a problem, but the object ingested can lead to one. Possible problems include infection, digestive tract blockage, poisoning, malnutrition, and damage to the teeth. Some health problems may require surgery.

There's no known treatment for pica except that the child can be trained on how to control the feelings as they become mature. Other treatments include treating anaemia and also treating any side effects of it.

I'm sharing my story on Pica to inform the public especially warriors and their relatives that their habit isn't strange. Beat the child, punish the child, PICA REMAINS PICA. The child will only learn how to be smart about it and not get caught. It wouldn't stop it until they are able to control their cravings.

Do I still crave for cemented sand? Yes

Do I still chew it? Story for another day.

*©FAM*

Nigerian guys will go to Twitter and start a trend about how ladies don't know how to chat, forgetting to tell us how they lack communication skills and can't even introduce themselves and start a meaningful conversation. Someone will enter DM for the first time, with no previous familiarity in the simplest of form and start asking '100 jamb questions' with no idea of where the conversation is headed, and they expect you to just answer and be nice. How am I supposed to know the aim and where the conversation is headed.
How are you?
How was your day?
What's up with you?....

Please learn to introduce yourself and give the reason for the conversation, and allow the lady to decide if she's interested in the conversation or not.
No entitlement spirit please.
She has the right to know where the conversation is headed and decide if she wants to be involve or not.
Don't make it seems like you are doing her a favor by sliding into her DM or that she's an angry lady and not welcoming if she's not interested in the conversation.

I have had enough of people sliding into DM and asking questions with no aim, then when you ask why the conversation is taking place, the next thing they can say is 'Are you angry?' 'You don't want me?'. Please I at least need to know why I am having a conversation. I can't just be holding a conversation I don't know where it's headed.

Learn the little act of communication.

OkoAnike:



op, I'm happy you are doing good, your last post on your diary session is not too encouraging, especially the last paragraph...

please keep up the fight, because all will be well.

Thank you.

I don't usually have issues with people not getting the spelling of my name correctly. I'm not usually particular about it, except it's on an official level. There are times I don't even bother correcting the spelling when shown if it's not that necessary.
I have had a lot of countering spellings of my name, which I later need to correct and have to make a lot of explanation why I didn't talk initially. But then, when it's not necessary, I just let it go. Instances where I needed medical report and the spelling on my case note wasn't the same as my official spelling. But then, name spelling wasn't what matters most at the point of entry in the Nigerian hospital. Even when you are paying too much emphasis on it, there are times someone might feel you are not sick enough, na why you get energy to dey correct them on the spelling of your name.

There are a lot of friends who don't know the correct spelling of my name and have the wrong spelling saved on their phone. I don't really have issues with it.

But when you are chatting me up on Facebook where my names and every of my details are spelt out in details, and you are still spelling it the wrong way, then that's too much to swallow. Are you trying to tell me I don't know the correct spelling of my name, or you are just not paying attention to it? Just because you have a friend who bears the same name, with a different spelling doesn't mean everyone else should go with the spelling you were familiar with.

MY NAME IS *FADEELAT*.
Please take note.