₦airaland Forum

Good day everyone, please i urgently need an advice on what to do because the issue is killing me. There is this girl i met during my service year, that was 8 months into my service year she was also a youth corper. I asked her out and before accepted she told me i am the first guy she will be accepting since she started her youth service, and she don't want to date a youth corps member because the relationship doesn't always last long, so i had to convince her and persuaded her to date me and finally she accepted. she told me everything about herself, her past relationship how many guys she has dated and how she can't trust guys anymore, so i gave her assurance that everything is gonna be fine.

So fast forward to one week into our relationship, we decided to visit my town guy who is a soldier that i met at nysc camp he lives in the barrack at the state we are serving, at first she felt reluctant about going until i pleaded with her before she accepted going and before she said yes she asked which block my brother was staying i told her. So getting to the barracks i saw a friend of mine we were platoon mates at the camp so i told my girl to go inside while i went to say hello to my friend, the first thing my friend said was "is that not Tonia" i said yes she is the one and i asked how he knows her the guy said Tonia is Emeka's (our co corp member) girlfriend i said it's a lie i am the first guy she is dating here in this state she has never dated a youth corp member before, in my presence this guy called the Emeka put it on speaker and asked him (Emeka how is your girlfriend tonia when last did you saw her hope you guys are still dating, and Emeka Replied yes we are still dating and we were together yesterday.) The guy went ahead and showed me pics of Tonia and Emeka together, i was really surprise and couldn't say anything because a girl who told me she can't trust guys and wanted me to treat her nicely and she want to learn how to trust guys again, how can she build our relationship on lies? So i went inside didn't say a word about what transpired between me and my friend to the girl.

A month into the relationship i didn't say a word about the incidence to the girl, generally the girl was nice, lovely caring she recharge me almost everyday when ever she is coming around she must buy some things for me and my guys at my ppa( i live inside my ppa), always buy foodstuff to come and cook for me at home she wasn't living on allawee as most of us because her dad was always sending her something. All this while no sex because she told me it's been more than 2years she had sex and she isn't ready for sex yet when she is ready she is gonna let me know so i respected her decision because i wasn't dating her for sex i was dating her because i love her, But in my mind seriously i didn't believe her all i was thinking is maybe she is getting it from Emeka so she doesn't want it from me.

So on a faithful day i happened to be holding her phone she wasn't around and a whatsapp message pop up on her screen it was Emeka so i was tempted to check the message, though i have never gone into her messages before or private life, but because it was the same Emeka i opened the messages and i just scrolled up very well to read past messages, behold everything that guy told me was all true, this girl and that boy were actually dating, so reading to the last messages i saw were she sent a breakup text to the guy telling the guy she wasn't interested in the relationship again. The date on the messages showed it was two weeks into our relationship she broke up with the guy i was a bit relieved that she broke up with the guy because i love the girl and i didn't want to lose her, but i was sad at the same time seeing a message on her chat showing that she had been having sex with this same guy even a week before they broke up.

This also i never disclosed to her because in my heart i wasn't actually dating her because of sex and since she broke up with the guy it showed she choosed me ahead of the guy so i let the issue to end. There was one faithful day this same Emeka was calling this girl repeatedly in my presence and she wasn't picking so me knowing who the guy is and to not show i don't care attitude i asked the girl who is this guy disturbing you with call her response was "it's one stupid boy asking her out" i just laughed and said nothing. So we dated peacefully for the next four months even when i know occasionally this same guy still do call her i didn't let that bothered me because we were dating peacefully no issue and she was been a sweet girlfriend despite the lies and others.

So our service year came to an end and we all went to our separate state and we promised to keep loving each other and keep the relationship in good shape, even after four month of not seeing each other the relationship was still flourishing and i loved her more than ever, she do credit my account occasionally because i had nothing doing at that time still job hunting. So on one faithful day i just decided to ask her what about that guy that was always disturbing her she said since after service she hasn't heard from the guy. Till last month here on her birthday that same guy who told me about her and Emeka called me and asked if Tonia and Emeka was still in talking terms or still seeing each other, i told him she said they haven't talked since after service and she doesn't even have his contact again, this same guy told me that Tonia was lying to me that this same Emeka's status is filled with different pics and writeup for Tonia's birthday, that if Tonia wasn't in talking terms with Emeka again and Tonia Doesn't have Emeka's number so how come Emeka is posting the status and who is the status made for then? This guy screenshot all the status and sent them to me, and the pics are recent pics she took a day to her birthday and she hasn't even uploaded the pics yet on any social media and the time on those screenshot was past 12 midnight, so how come Emeka got hold of the pics if Tonia didn't send the pics to him. At that point the trust i have decided to start building up for her just disappeared, this is the girl who has been lying to me from the beginning yet i stood by her and never judged her by her actions always thinking she might have reason for not telling me about this same guy. So that same day because of the anger in me i called her and i asked her about the Same Emeka, when last she saw him or talked to him and she repeated the same thing that since after service she hasn't heard from him, in my heart i was like what is wrong with this girl, ok i decided to ask her the real issue, Tonia did you ever dated Emeka before we met, she started swearing with everything even with God, bible and her grandmom grave that she has never dated Emeka that Emeka was just someone who was disturbing and asking her out, sincerely hearing her swear while she was lying was really breaking my heart, i decided to confront her by telling her that a friend of mine told me she dated Emeka, the next thing i heard was her preaching about trust, that how can i not trust her and believe what she is telling me why should i believe my friend ahead of her that she is disappointed in me for not been able to trust whatever she is telling me that i am the last person she will ever lie to, she ended the call telling me she is angry you can't believe i called her all through that day she didn't pick up even leading to her switching off her phone. The next morning i called her she picked and told me she was so angry with me last night accusing her of dating Emeka and disappointed in me for not trusting her, looking at her fooling herself i decided to send all the screenshots of her chat with Emeka from her phone which i sent to my phone back then. All she could say after the screenshot is that she owns me no explanation because she kept Emeka issues away from me for a personal reason, she never told me anything about Emeka because she has a reason for not doing it and i shouldn't have gone into her privacy and whatever i got from her whatsapp was at my own risk.
She later called and sent a text apologising for lying to me and acting the way she did, that she never wanted to tell me about Emeka due to some personal reasons and she never wanted me to find out about Emeka, and i shouldn't breakup with her because of Emeka that she loves me and can't lose me.

Right now i don't know what to do because i love the girl but with her lies and with what has transpired between us is she a girl i should continue with or i should let go.

Please no insult i really need advice from you all.


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