Good day everyone, please i urgently need an advice on what to do because the issue is killing me. There is this girl i met during my service year, that was 8 months into my service year she was also a youth corper. I asked her out and before accepted she told me i am the first guy she will be accepting since she started her youth service, and she don't want to date a youth corps member because the relationship doesn't always last long, so i had to convince her and persuaded her to date me and finally she accepted. she told me everything about herself, her past relationship how many guys she has dated and how she can't trust guys anymore, so i gave her assurance that everything is gonna be fine.

So fast forward to one week into our relationship, we decided to visit my town guy who is a soldier that i met at nysc camp he lives in the barrack at the state we are serving, at first she felt reluctant about going until i pleaded with her before she accepted going and before she said yes she asked which block my brother was staying i told her. So getting to the barracks i saw a friend of mine we were platoon mates at the camp so i told my girl to go inside while i went to say hello to my friend, the first thing my friend said was "is that not Tonia" i said yes she is the one and i asked how he knows her the guy said Tonia is Emeka's (our co corp member) girlfriend i said it's a lie i am the first guy she is dating here in this state she has never dated a youth corp member before, in my presence this guy called the Emeka put it on speaker and asked him (Emeka how is your girlfriend tonia when last did you saw her hope you guys are still dating, and Emeka Replied yes we are still dating and we were together yesterday.) The guy went ahead and showed me pics of Tonia and Emeka together, i was really surprise and couldn't say anything because a girl who told me she can't trust guys and wanted me to treat her nicely and she want to learn how to trust guys again, how can she build our relationship on lies? So i went inside didn't say a word about what transpired between me and my friend to the girl.

A month into the relationship i didn't say a word about the incidence to the girl, generally the girl was nice, lovely caring she recharge me almost everyday when ever she is coming around she must buy some things for me and my guys at my ppa( i live inside my ppa), always buy foodstuff to come and cook for me at home she wasn't living on allawee as most of us because her dad was always sending her something. All this while no sex because she told me it's been more than 2years she had sex and she isn't ready for sex yet when she is ready she is gonna let me know so i respected her decision because i wasn't dating her for sex i was dating her because i love her, But in my mind seriously i didn't believe her all i was thinking is maybe she is getting it from Emeka so she doesn't want it from me.

So on a faithful day i happened to be holding her phone she wasn't around and a whatsapp message pop up on her screen it was Emeka so i was tempted to check the message, though i have never gone into her messages before or private life, but because it was the same Emeka i opened the messages and i just scrolled up very well to read past messages, behold everything that guy told me was all true, this girl and that boy were actually dating, so reading to the last messages i saw were she sent a breakup text to the guy telling the guy she wasn't interested in the relationship again. The date on the messages showed it was two weeks into our relationship she broke up with the guy i was a bit relieved that she broke up with the guy because i love the girl and i didn't want to lose her, but i was sad at the same time seeing a message on her chat showing that she had been having sex with this same guy even a week before they broke up.

This also i never disclosed to her because in my heart i wasn't actually dating her because of sex and since she broke up with the guy it showed she choosed me ahead of the guy so i let the issue to end. There was one faithful day this same Emeka was calling this girl repeatedly in my presence and she wasn't picking so me knowing who the guy is and to not show i don't care attitude i asked the girl who is this guy disturbing you with call her response was "it's one stupid boy asking her out" i just laughed and said nothing. So we dated peacefully for the next four months even when i know occasionally this same guy still do call her i didn't let that bothered me because we were dating peacefully no issue and she was been a sweet girlfriend despite the lies and others.

So our service year came to an end and we all went to our separate state and we promised to keep loving each other and keep the relationship in good shape, even after four month of not seeing each other the relationship was still flourishing and i loved her more than ever, she do credit my account occasionally because i had nothing doing at that time still job hunting. So on one faithful day i just decided to ask her what about that guy that was always disturbing her she said since after service she hasn't heard from the guy. Till last month here on her birthday that same guy who told me about her and Emeka called me and asked if Tonia and Emeka was still in talking terms or still seeing each other, i told him she said they haven't talked since after service and she doesn't even have his contact again, this same guy told me that Tonia was lying to me that this same Emeka's status is filled with different pics and writeup for Tonia's birthday, that if Tonia wasn't in talking terms with Emeka again and Tonia Doesn't have Emeka's number so how come Emeka is posting the status and who is the status made for then? This guy screenshot all the status and sent them to me, and the pics are recent pics she took a day to her birthday and she hasn't even uploaded the pics yet on any social media and the time on those screenshot was past 12 midnight, so how come Emeka got hold of the pics if Tonia didn't send the pics to him. At that point the trust i have decided to start building up for her just disappeared, this is the girl who has been lying to me from the beginning yet i stood by her and never judged her by her actions always thinking she might have reason for not telling me about this same guy. So that same day because of the anger in me i called her and i asked her about the Same Emeka, when last she saw him or talked to him and she repeated the same thing that since after service she hasn't heard from him, in my heart i was like what is wrong with this girl, ok i decided to ask her the real issue, Tonia did you ever dated Emeka before we met, she started swearing with everything even with God, bible and her grandmom grave that she has never dated Emeka that Emeka was just someone who was disturbing and asking her out, sincerely hearing her swear while she was lying was really breaking my heart, i decided to confront her by telling her that a friend of mine told me she dated Emeka, the next thing i heard was her preaching about trust, that how can i not trust her and believe what she is telling me why should i believe my friend ahead of her that she is disappointed in me for not been able to trust whatever she is telling me that i am the last person she will ever lie to, she ended the call telling me she is angry you can't believe i called her all through that day she didn't pick up even leading to her switching off her phone. The next morning i called her she picked and told me she was so angry with me last night accusing her of dating Emeka and disappointed in me for not trusting her, looking at her fooling herself i decided to send all the screenshots of her chat with Emeka from her phone which i sent to my phone back then. All she could say after the screenshot is that she owns me no explanation because she kept Emeka issues away from me for a personal reason, she never told me anything about Emeka because she has a reason for not doing it and i shouldn't have gone into her privacy and whatever i got from her whatsapp was at my own risk.
She later called and sent a text apologising for lying to me and acting the way she did, that she never wanted to tell me about Emeka due to some personal reasons and she never wanted me to find out about Emeka, and i shouldn't breakup with her because of Emeka that she loves me and can't lose me.

Right now i don't know what to do because i love the girl but with her lies and with what has transpired between us is she a girl i should continue with or i should let go.

Please no insult i really need advice from you all.


Please help me to push to front page for more comments.

Make i chop first b4 I go come read this kind Mills & Boon.

Your post is too long, abeg.

Let me Summarise for him

I met a girl called Tonia during my NYSC.
She at first didn't want to date me, but later agreed to a relationship.
She lied to me about not having a boyfriend and abstaining from sex for 2 years.
I went through her phone and discovered the truth that she lied about her affair with Emeka.
She used to credit my account because I am still job hunting.
I confronted her with evidence of her affair with Emeka and she is pleading with me not to break the relationship.

What do I do now, I have fallen in love with her, should I break up or continue with her?

Well she is a liar for one. And a big, unrepentant one at that. But the most important thing is how you need to swallow that pill some guys are selling on here .
Love and believe in yourself too. When you do, you will know how the women in your life should treat you. And how is this? With respect.
But I am striking for balance here. I would say that she most probably likes you, from what you have posted, but I don’t believe she is in love with you, from what I can see, lol. A girl who is in love with you would not be sleeping with just the other guy while you are there.
There is the possibility that she knows you are lost in her, literally. So she might be catching all the fun she can while planning to settle down with you afterwards, when you marry her. Maybe because she can trust you to be the man she wants and knows you to be. And it would be a real settling down for her.
I don’t like her for what it is worth, but you also repel me, with how wimpy you are with her. I am tired joor.

My brother,this relationship is built up on deceit. The Girl might love you oo,but you're a second option. If not the evidences you shown her,she would have deny everything and put the blames on you with her crocodile cry and psychological approach. Here is my Advice; Dont put all your eggs into one basket, I'd have say you should move on,but you're gaining one or two things in this relationship, so just play along,but dont put all your eggs into one basket.

You'll be called simp a lot on this thread. Thicken your skin, and you're good to go.


Modified**

I read through the whole story. You be simpleton true true.

Wassup with all this guys on this forum posting relationship issues everyday can y'all please stop this rubbish..... because it is starting to become a norm....As a man if you can't handle your relationship issues own your own you've failed.....Come to think of it we ladies have more relationship issues to post here but we chose to govern our emotions and move on.....Besides what you wrote up there is too long i just can't i just....

See how I pity you as I Dey read your story. Who takes service babe serious? Na so my guy fight with all of us real guys way suppose help am later on because of one babe, say na love, immediately after service baby left him. And guy did you say you didn’t touch her(if yes your type is rare).

Back to your matter baba abeg no stress your heart let her go. She’s a manipulator, manipulating you with trust when she herself no Dey trustworthy.

Millenniumlady:
Wassup with all this guys on this forum posting relationship issues everyday can y'all please stop this rubbish..... because it is starting to become a norm....As a man if you can't handle your relationship issues own your own you've failed.....Come to think of it we ladies have more relationship issues to post here but we chose to govern our emotions and move on.....Besides what you wrote up there is too long i just can't i just....

Abeg who ask for your imput Na your likes dey make most of people to drink sniper, if you dont have any positive input to comment on this matter,pls just slide on to next posts.

Emeka day chop ham steady steady and u day do Mr nice guy, she even swear with God and bible and u are still asking us for advise Adam made a mistake by trusting Eve.

olukaygold:

Abeg who ask for your imput Na your likes dey make most of people to drink sniper, if you dont have any positive input to comment on this matter,pls just slide on to next posts.

Never in your life quote me again.

She sounds like a good babe to me shall search urself and ask yourself whats next. All of us na liar in one or two way

Millenniumlady:
Never in your life quote me again.

I wonder if you can say this in my face

olukaygold:

I wonder if you can say this in my face

I hope you keep this same energy when we meet cause I might be the first lady to beat you up

Millenniumlady:
Never in your life quote me again.

and what if he does.

Millenniumlady:
I hope you keep this same energy when we meet cause I might be the first lady to beat you up

Olachase:
and what if he does.

Looks like you have something to say

Olachase:
and what if he does.

Dont mind her,I've Quoted her almost three times.na just normal women rants

Millenniumlady:
Wassup with all this guys on this forum posting relationship issues everyday can y'all please stop this rubbish..... because it is starting to become a norm....As a man if you can't handle your relationship issues own your own you've failed.....Come to think of it we ladies have more relationship issues to post here but we chose to govern our emotions and move on.....Besides what you wrote up there is too long i just can't i just....

I hope there's a big difference between how you react to posts online and how you do in real life because if not serious wahala dey oo..

I've never seen anything sensible coming from you

Nonsense!
Go and earn more money

StrongandMighty:


I hope there's a big difference between how you react to posts online and how you do in real life because if not serious wahala dey oo..

I've never seen anything sensible coming from you

I'm me i can't displease myself to please someone and if you don't like me the way i am nigga f*ck you

Millenniumlady:
I'm me i can't displease myself to please someone and if you don't like me the way i am nigga f*ck you

you sure say you dey okay?

StrongandMighty:

you sure say you dey okay?

I dont think so

op

I cant believe i took 4mins of my time to read this.

Op you are a big simp.

You are lucky to find out she was lying to you and you still had the nerve to continue.

How can you be tolerating a liar, a manipulator and an unrepentant sinner.

If you know what is good for you cut it off between you and her, if not it will end in tears.

It is her type that will marry you and have 4 kids from another dude and pin it as yours without remorse.

A word is enough for the wise

Nigga please next time summarize or space your right up it was mentally tasking reading it and besides she's not trust worthy pray to God

That girl is lying machine.

Mr.pls,know what u want in a woman and maintain ur principles and never u slide.

One elder used to say,any womam/man that swears can not be trusted. She relied on her swearing ability to keep hold on u,even using the Bible not until u confronted her with facts.

My dear brother, u are dating her genuinely while Emeka is sleeping with her...meaning u are good to be a husband material and Emeka is the sex machine.

Na women like this de travel to go see their mama for village and before u know it,na Emeka house them go land.

My advice:
Thread carefully and never u trust her. The red flags are too glaring to be ignored and never u take this relationship too serious else u will be heart broken. She is actually riding on ur gentility and this could spell a doom. That is how most of them end up losing good guys while they date rough men.
The best!

taking relationship serious these days na another way to die.
as for me, all i need is s*x. once i need it giv it to me and am okay.
the only thing i can take serious in this life is my source of income.

Another guy dey screw her, you dey dey do love. I pity you.

Because of her personal reason... I hope she won't give you Emeka's child because you continued to protray your mumu button to her to press anyhow...

I don't blame you...

I blame our mothers who raised spineless cowards with just a d**k to show they are men